My atheist boyfriend

[rmc19945]

As the title says, my boyfriend is an atheist. I love him very much and don't want to leave him, but I know that if/when it comes down to it, I have to and will choose God over him. It hurts so much to think of this, but I know our relationship would never work in the long-run if he doesn't believe in Jesus Christ. Whenever I mention religion to him, he's quick to shoot it down and change the subject. He has absolutely no belief in God. It hurts me even more to think of the fact that he may very well end up in hell. I'm crying as I write this because I want nothing more than to spend my life, and eternity, with him. I pray for him everyday and I ask that you would, too. This situation has me constantly questioning why God would put this man in my life in this way when it cannot have a future. I know the Lord works in mysterious ways, but I just don't understand. I know that we can't understand everything that God does. I pray that he realizes his sinful ways and is born again before I have to do the hardest thing possible. This wasn't so much as a question as me letting it all out. I ask again that you keep him in your prayers, and me, also. That I would have the strength to do what has to be done when/if the time comes.

Thanks and may the good Lord bless you all.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

I feel bad for you.

Does he want the relationship to be permanent?  Does he know that it can't be if he's an atheist?

And why is he an atheist?  College professor got to him, or something?

Don't feel like you have to answer any of these questions if you don't want to.

Jarrod

[stevehut]

Then why bother, rmc?   

[Imabear]

Then why bother, rmc?   

Because sometimes getting it out there helps clarify things.

Hey!  I'll pray for you, rmc.
God Bless.

[Pokhara]

It hurts me even more to think of the fact that he may very well end up in hell. I'm crying as I write this because I want nothing more than to spend my life, and eternity, with him. I pray for him everyday and I ask that you would, too. This situation has me constantly questioning why God would put this man in my life in this way when it cannot have a future.

It is hard to comment on this in a practical way without running the risk of kicking off a huge theological debate about hell, which could easily run to over two hundred posts, and possibly include the expression of unchristian sentiments.

My own view is that hell is not eternal.  Consider the following texts:

14If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. 15I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. (Matthew 10, NIV)

20Then Jesus began to denounce the cities in which most of his miracles had been performed, because they did not repent. 21"Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. 22But I tell you, it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. 23And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted up to the skies? No, you will go down to the depths.[d] If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Sodom, it would have remained to this day. 24But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you." (Matthew 11, NIV)

13"Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. 14But it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment than for you. 15And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted up to the skies? No, you will go down to the depths. (Luke 10, NIV)

These verses do not make sense in the context of hell being everlasting torment.  If hell were everlasting torment, then anyone who went there would suffer the same fate.  There would be no "more bearable" for one person than for another.  These verses do however make sense in the context of hell being a place of temporary punishment where some people spend longer than other people, depending on the extent to which they lived their lives apart from God.

63 ... The high priest said to him, "I charge you under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Christ,[e] the Son of God." 64"Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. "But I say to all of you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven." (Matthew 26, NIV)

Will the Jewish priests see this in hell?

[sopranette]

The bible warns us not to be be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  It will only cause strife in the end. It's perfectly fine to continue to pray for him, though.

love,

Sopranette

[Seeking]

How do you know God brought him into your life?  And if He did, was it to be his girlfriend or was there another purpose?  We have free will, and being his girlfriend is your choice; I don't believe God would bring an atheist to have as a mate with one of faith.  I don't believe God would put you with someone you can't even discuss your faith with.  God wants you to have JOY, and this doesn't sound like Joy.

God intends for you to be around those who will help you learn and grow in your faith, and to be with a mate who is evenly yoked.  These are the hard times when we have to choose between what "we" want and what God wants for us.

The fact that you stated that this has you constantly questioning why God put him in your life, and you just don't understand... God is not a God of confusion.   I think God has given you the knowledge you need in this situation, it is a matter of submitting to His will.

I have been down this same road.  It isn't easy, accepting what God is telling you when you want something else.  God will prune all of us as we become stronger faithful servants.  And yes, sometimes pruning kinda sucks - but Trust Him - He knows what He's doing.

[.jahmessage.]

hm.its hard to know what to say or do facing this...my boyfriend is rather anti-Christian himself and mostly because of how mainstream Christianity is portrayed.you know the shoving the words of God in others ears. i try telling him not everyone is like that...

im praying him for  him every day and for the Lord to show me what i should do..

stay strong,keep praying and trust the Lord with all of your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11

It helps me a great deal
:]

[NeonZ]

For one, you should be equally yoked. God wants you to have the best. If you are with Christ, you should be with a Christian man. This can be hard too, the Christian Man is hard to find and they are a rare species. They are gems of great value, never to be underestimated. Unfortunately, they are often discarded even by Christian women. It's not fair but it does happen. I just happen to be one of them. Very tough to deal with and not always rewarding. Being a Christian Man is a very difficult job, very difficult.

[Jon-Marc]

If he wants to be with you and knows that being an atheist will prevent that from happening, he might pretend to get saved. I'm reminded of a movie I watched a long time ago.

A young man wanted to be with a woman who was a Christian and knew that as a non-believer that wouldn't happen. He put on a very convincing act and told her how he been"saved", and she fell for it.

Before getting too involved with him, he needs to know the Lord. Otherwise it will not work out. You don't want him pretending to be a Christian just to be with you. If you married him thinking he was born again, the truth would come out after you're together a short while. As husband and wife, Christian and atheist, he would more than likely pull you down in faith before you would win him over to the Lord.

[Mr. J]

As the title says, my boyfriend is an atheist. I love him very much and don't want to leave him, but I know that if/when it comes down to it, I have to and will choose God over him. It hurts so much to think of this, but I know our relationship would never work in the long-run if he doesn't believe in Jesus Christ. Whenever I mention religion to him, he's quick to shoot it down and change the subject. He has absolutely no belief in God. It hurts me even more to think of the fact that he may very well end up in hell. I'm crying as I write this because I want nothing more than to spend my life, and eternity, with him. I pray for him everyday and I ask that you would, too. This situation has me constantly questioning why God would put this man in my life in this way when it cannot have a future. I know the Lord works in mysterious ways, but I just don't understand. I know that we can't understand everything that God does. I pray that he realizes his sinful ways and is born again before I have to do the hardest thing possible. This wasn't so much as a question as me letting it all out. I ask again that you keep him in your prayers, and me, also. That I would have the strength to do what has to be done when/if the time comes.

Thanks and may the good Lord bless you all.

I'm sorry for being frank, but this is just too weird. 

How about you get a Bible, read it, and then maybe you will see it is your duty to NOT get involved with atheists.... Or maybe that would be too much like being a responsible Christian.

[fanuvmxpx]

It is hard to comment on this in a practical way without running the risk of kicking off a huge theological debate about hell, which could easily run to over two hundred posts, and possibly include the expression of unchristian sentiments.

My own view is that hell is not eternal.  Consider the following texts:

14If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. 15I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. (Matthew 10, NIV)

20Then Jesus began to denounce the cities in which most of his miracles had been performed, because they did not repent. 21"Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. 22But I tell you, it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. 23And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted up to the skies? No, you will go down to the depths.[d] If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Sodom, it would have remained to this day. 24But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you." (Matthew 11, NIV)

13"Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. 14But it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment than for you. 15And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted up to the skies? No, you will go down to the depths. (Luke 10, NIV)

These verses do not make sense in the context of hell being everlasting torment.  If hell were everlasting torment, then anyone who went there would suffer the same fate.  There would be no "more bearable" for one person than for another.  These verses do however make sense in the context of hell being a place of temporary punishment where some people spend longer than other people, depending on the extent to which they lived their lives apart from God.

63 ... The high priest said to him, "I charge you under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Christ,[e] the Son of God." 64"Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. "But I say to all of you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven." (Matthew 26, NIV)

Will the Jewish priests see this in hell?

I find your logic flawed. These verses merely express that those "who have seen the work of God" will suffer more in eternity because they saw the truth and still did not believe. It is not referencing physical suffering, its speaking of the turmoil of realization that they had a chance to repent and blew it.

If hell was not eternal, what would be the point of being christian? Saving oneself a few millenia of torment by living the hard life on earth? Also, all will see God before sentencing at the white throne judgment, so it is illogical to use Matt 26 as a hell-nullification either.

Finally, with Jesus dying on the cross...why bother if everyone goes to heaven anyways?