I need some encouragement...

[kristinaf]

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

[Rahn]

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

"Test drive" shows a shallow heart and mind. Maybe he is just plain "warped." You are not a vehicle. Yes, I know men (and women) sometimes compare "bodies." However, your body does not belong to the world. It is not subject to "modern guys." Your faith comes first. You must find someone who will treat your body as "temple of the Holy Spirit." Yes, you did answer your own question.

[rppearso]

You have to remember way back in the day, engagements were not long drawn out process people were married young and engagements were short and people did not live that long so they had godly outlets for there sexuality while they were in there sexual peak, now days society has educational requirements that keep us from being able to support a wife while we go through our sexual peak.  I dont think you nessicarily need to "test drive" before you buy but you better have very frank and indepth discussions about sex  thats how detailed you need to get with any christian you are courting and anything you both agree to before getting married better not change or you could have severe issues later in the marriage.

I believe the "test drive" before you buy mentality is 2 pronged

1. Some guys just dont want to commit but they are horny
2. Alot of guys want to commit but there is alot for a guy to loose in a divorce especially if there are children with feminism rooted so deeply in todays society.

If all marriages were as God intended you would not have these issues.  Women can be very passive aggressive and manipulative and make a mans life a living hell if they are in a marriage relationship, if a woman acts like that in a dating scenario with sex involved the man can just dump her and find someone else.  Men have alot to loose getting married and not really anything to gain.

Marriage or no marriage you cant control what another person does you just have to do the best you can.  If you have very strict requirements on what you are looking for in a guy as far as personality and morals you may have to compromise on looks and physical attractiveness.  Here is a book that may shed some light on what im talking about, you can pretty much read the book through the reviews:

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Ploytation-Matthew-Fitzgerald/dp/0966963903/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I11WSUGC8G1XZA&colid=3MQ3H7G62J05Y

Not trying to be a debbie downer just giving you a cold hard dose of reality.

Here is some more food for thought:  http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm

[Fem2009]

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

If he won't wait, dump him. Man whores are not worth your time. They can go find someone else. You my dear are a jewel. The guy who is willing to wait is the one who will treasure you always. That IS A GIVEN. You seek substance, don't setttle for less. It's about what YOU want. Not what he wants. When he takes the time to know you and shows his love and devotion by getting married, then you can give him intimacy in return. Once you give it to him, you can't get it back. So be picky. Would you give someone 100 bucks in exchange for a penny? I'm sorry, I want my share before I give mine. I'm not a free penny on the sidewalk. God Bless!

[Fem2009]

 

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

"Test drive" shows a shallow heart and mind. Maybe he is just plain "warped." You are not a vehicle. Yes, I know men (and women) sometimes compare "bodies." However, your body does not belong to the world. It is not subject to "modern guys." Your faith comes first. You must find someone who will treat your body as "temple of the Holy Spirit." Yes, you did answer your own question.

[rppearso]

I would almost agree with this even though its a bunch of self righous retoric, you should concentrate on making sure you are actually a jewel and a good catch, I will not presume to assume that is true.  If you prove to be a worthy christian woman you will find a good christian man.  Knowing why guys dont want to commit will help keep you from being a woman that men dont want to be with.

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

If he won't wait, dump him. Man whores are not worth your time. They can go find someone else. You my dear are a jewel. The guy who is willing to wait is the one who will treasure you always. That IS A GIVEN. You seek substance, don't setttle for less. It's about what YOU want. Not what he wants. When he takes the time to know you and shows his love and devotion by getting married, then you can give him intimacy in return. Once you give it to him, you can't get it back. So be picky. Would you give someone 100 bucks in exchange for a penny? I'm sorry, I want my share before I give mine. I'm not a free penny on the sidewalk. God Bless!

[dougk1971]

No test drive needed.  You've got the passion already that test drivers would be looking for anyway.  What you have that others don't is a zeal for God.  You need a man who has zeal also.  I will say a prayer for you that God would set up the meeting with your future husband sooner than later!  Actually in His time.

Doug

[rppearso]

How can you make such a statement with out knowing someone?

No test drive needed.  You've got the passion already that test drivers would be looking for anyway.  What you have that others don't is a zeal for God.  You need a man who has zeal also.  I will say a prayer for you that God would set up the meeting with your future husband sooner than later!  Actually in His time.

Doug

[yesult]

Put it this way. Would you perfer to buy a car fresh off the lot with no miles on the clock all brand, shiney and new?
Or would you prefer a second hand car with worn tires, scratchs on the bodywork, food stains on the upholstery and general evidence of use?

Who is their right minds would prefer someone else to have their car before them to make sure it 'works'?

And why do you have it secondhand anyway? Because they discarded it.

Some things you don't try out - like other peoples underwear.

[yesult]

You have to remember way back in the day, engagements were not long drawn out process people were married young and engagements were short and people did not live that long so they had godly outlets for there sexuality while they were in there sexual peak, now days society has educational requirements that keep us from being able to support a wife while we go through our sexual peak.

Can you prove that? People are sexually active biologically from 13 - 100. Maybe not so keen on it at certain ages, but it's possible. Educational requirements do not keep us 'bound' while we're at our 'sexual peak'. What is that? People only have their 'sexual peak' in college. Give me a break

If all marriages were as God intended you would not have these issues.  Women can be very passive aggressive and manipulative and make a mans life a living hell if they are in a marriage relationship, if a woman acts like that in a dating scenario with sex involved the man can just dump her and find someone else.  Men have alot to loose getting married and not really anything to gain.

Character has nothing to do with sex. If a woman is manipulative and agressive (or a man) that will come out in dating as much as anything else. It's just a matter of time. Both stand to lose a lot if they don't get to know the character of their future spouse throughly before making a permanent commitment. Sex muddies the water by all the emotions and soul ties it creates - it doen't make the decision clearer.

Marriage or no marriage you cant control what another person does you just have to do the best you can.  If you have very strict requirements on what you are looking for in a guy as far as personality and morals you may have to compromise on looks and physical attractiveness.

So there is a shortage of christian guys around with high morals - so women have to look at the possibility of compromising on physical attractiveness and settle for the ugly ones if they want to maintain high standards. I completly disagree.
Purity has nothing to do with looks, everybody faces temptation no matter what they look like. It's a choice. And it revolves around character. Not something that only ugly people have a corner on.

[kristinaf]

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

If he won't wait, dump him. Man whores are not worth your time. They can go find someone else. You my dear are a jewel. The guy who is willing to wait is the one who will treasure you always. That IS A GIVEN. You seek substance, don't setttle for less. It's about what YOU want. Not what he wants. When he takes the time to know you and shows his love and devotion by getting married, then you can give him intimacy in return. Once you give it to him, you can't get it back. So be picky. Would you give someone 100 bucks in exchange for a penny? I'm sorry, I want my share before I give mine. I'm not a free penny on the sidewalk. God Bless!

I absolutely love your response!  Thank you!  It is right on. 

[Fem2009]

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

If he won't wait, dump him. Man whores are not worth your time. They can go find someone else. You my dear are a jewel. The guy who is willing to wait is the one who will treasure you always. That IS A GIVEN. You seek substance, don't setttle for less. It's about what YOU want. Not what he wants. When he takes the time to know you and shows his love and devotion by getting married, then you can give him intimacy in return. Once you give it to him, you can't get it back. So be picky. Would you give someone 100 bucks in exchange for a penny? I'm sorry, I want my share before I give mine. I'm not a free penny on the sidewalk. God Bless!

I absolutely love your response!  Thank you!  It is right on. 

You're welcome! I thought I went to far after it was already posted. But I'm happy you get my point. Defend your soul.

[fanuvmxpx]

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

Some will yes. I know of a few who did. The world often looks at marriage as sex being the determining factor of the relationship working out, with the wife part as a side bonus.

Allow a married man to give you some advice. Marry for personality. Not saying marry someone your not attracted too...but grab the best heart you can. Beauty will fade, sex will fade, personality will remain.

A true Christian will not say "need to test drive the car". I'm not saying that all christian men are perfect...but they shouldn't have that mindset.

[Fem2009]

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

Some will yes. I know of a few who did. The world often looks at marriage as sex being the determining factor of the relationship working out, with the wife part as a side bonus.

Allow a married man to give you some advice. Marry for personality. Not saying marry someone your not attracted too...but grab the best heart you can. Beauty will fade, sex will fade, personality will remain.

A true Christian will not say "need to test drive the car". I'm not saying that all christian men are perfect...but they shouldn't have that mindset.

[chosenone]

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

  The world says live together and have sex with everyone that you date. God says wait till marriage. Which is the best way? There are man around who wait till marriage. That is what we are told to do. My husband and I waited till we married,in fact he was even stricter than me about what we did before marriage. My son and his girlfriend are waiting till marriage. They both know it is what God tells us to do, and they both know there are consquenses to disobeying God.
Dont take any notice of what non Christian guys say, or Christian guys who know what God says for some bizarre reason think it deosnt apply to them. if any Christisn guys thinks it is ok to have sex anyway despite what God says stay away. Dont settle for second best, go for Gods best.If a man respects you and fears God he will want to wait.

[chosenone]

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

If he won't wait, dump him. Man whores are not worth your time. They can go find someone else. You my dear are a jewel. The guy who is willing to wait is the one who will treasure you always. That IS A GIVEN. You seek substance, don't setttle for less. It's about what YOU want. Not what he wants. When he takes the time to know you and shows his love and devotion by getting married, then you can give him intimacy in return. Once you give it to him, you can't get it back. So be picky. Would you give someone 100 bucks in exchange for a penny? I'm sorry, I want my share before I give mine. I'm not a free penny on the sidewalk. God Bless!

You have to remember way back in the day, engagements were not long drawn out process people were married young and engagements were short and people did not live that long so they had godly outlets for there sexuality while they were in there sexual peak, now days society has educational requirements that keep us from being able to support a wife while we go through our sexual peak.  I dont think you nessicarily need to "test drive" before you buy but you better have very frank and indepth discussions about sex  thats how detailed you need to get with any christian you are courting and anything you both agree to before getting married better not change or you could have severe issues later in the marriage.

I believe the "test drive" before you buy mentality is 2 pronged

1. Some guys just dont want to commit but they are horny
2. Alot of guys want to commit but there is alot for a guy to loose in a divorce especially if there are children with feminism rooted so deeply in todays society.

If all marriages were as God intended you would not have these issues.  Women can be very passive aggressive and manipulative and make a mans life a living hell if they are in a marriage relationship, if a woman acts like that in a dating scenario with sex involved the man can just dump her and find someone else.  Men have alot to loose getting married and not really anything to gain.

Marriage or no marriage you cant control what another person does you just have to do the best you can.  If you have very strict requirements on what you are looking for in a guy as far as personality and morals you may have to compromise on looks and physical attractiveness.  Here is a book that may shed some light on what im talking about, you can pretty much read the book through the reviews:

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Ploytation-Matthew-Fitzgerald/dp/0966963903/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I11WSUGC8G1XZA&colid=3MQ3H7G62J05Y

Not trying to be a debbie downer just giving you a cold hard dose of reality.

Here is some more food for thought:  http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm

You seem to forget one thing reppearso, that GOD Himself tells us not to have sex before marriage whatever you the world or anyone else says.
Also are you implying that the bettter looking Christians wont obey God?. That is a very bizarre assumption to make.  My husband waited till marriage at age 26 to his first wife and then after his divorce he waited till he met me and we later married. A man with high moral standards is worth waiting for believe me.

[Paul83]

I need some encouragement right now, guys, because I just spoke to one of my friends (who is not a Christian) and he told me that I sounded depressed and asked why.  I said that I wanted a boyfriend (or preferably a husband) and told him that I was getting frustrated with waiting for one.  He goes on to tell me that the problem is this: " no guy is going to buy the car without taking it for a test drive".  Meaning, no guy is going to want to wait to have sex until marriage, at least not in our culture as it is right now.  He did, however, say that I could go back into a time warp and go back to 1950 and maybe I would have some luck.  I responded that the bible says fornicators do not have a place in the kingdom of heaven, and he told me "well then, heaven must be a pretty empty place".  Sigh.  I probably shouldn't even bother talking to him anymore, but I don't want to be the sort of person that onnnnly associates with other Christians, although now I am thinking that that's not such a bad idea. 

So, basically, after talking to this guy, I am disheartened about the subject of : will a guy wait for sex until we are married?  Or...is is because of our culture, that sex is so ingrained into our culture that "modern guys" won't wait.  Or am I just looking at this the completely wrong way, and should narrow my focus to Christian guys only, especially for love advice?  I think I just answered my own question. 

What do you guys think?  Will guys wait...?  Or am I just dreaming of finding a husband in this messed up culture of ours?  Ladies/Gents:  please respond...

I really think you did answer your own question.  Generally speaking we Christian men are more apt to settle for a wait til marriage answer on sex.  Whereas non-christians are more than likely gonna wanta "test drive the car."

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."  Hebrews 13:4

Will be praying for you kristinaf.

[walker starr]

 

[Parepidemos]

To the initial question your friend is a pervert. I'm not buying any car some other guy has taken for a test drive. Hasn't he ever heard that no one buys the cow when they get the milk for free? If he won't wait he is totally worthless as a potential husband.

[kristinaf]

To the initial question your friend is a pervert. I'm not buying any car some other guy has taken for a test drive. Hasn't he ever heard that no one buys the cow when they get the milk for free? If he won't wait he is totally worthless as a potential husband.

Thank you!  That reinforces my gut instinct.  Not potential husband material, and generally not worth bothering with (esp. for love advice, unless I want to get steered down the wrong path).  Thank you.

[Richard]

This isn't a one-sided issue. I am a man who is hoping to find a woman willing to wait until we are married before having sex and I, too, am getting discouraged.

[yesult]

What churches do you go to? Maybe you're too isolated from the greater christian community at large?? I know several guys.

Both males and females in this category definatly make up the minority I think. But they're still there.

[dougk1971]

Kristina,

I just want to encourage you.  You are doing the right thing - you're abstaining.  Some of us, me in particular, slip up because I'm also considered an addict.  I go to 12-step meetings.  I rewired my brain during my "old self" years.  Now I have to retrain and renew my mind with the Word of God and helpful people such as yourself.  

I think as we give thanks and wonder in awe in God's love, we are seeking the Kingdom of God.  And as we do that, God provides for our needs.  You helped me repent of my sinful ways earlier in our conversations.   God looks at you for a good example, not me.  He loves me, but it may take years for my habits to be curbed completely.  Then I'd love, like David, to teach others in sin the ways of God.


Description of a Worthy Woman

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.


Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.


Proverbs 31:10-12,28-31

Doug

[Huscarl]

If you need encouragement I'll do the best I can!  You should be proud of yourself for not compromising with your beliefs, it is a quality that is all too lacking in most people today.  You know what is right and you are sticking by it despite the hardship it brings to you, which means you are doing what a Christian should.  The expectations of our culture fly in the face of what Christ taught us, but any man who wouldn't want to be with you because you won't sleep with him isn't worth your time, you deserve someone who really loves you.  If he really loves you he will be willing to wait until marriage, even if he doesn't share the same belief, solely out of respect for you and because he loves you.  Your friend seems very shallow and self-absorbed to me, if he views sex as nothing more than a "test drive" than he is the one to be pitied.  This attitude is very prevalent but don't let it wear you down, remember the words of the prophet Isaiah

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; they put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!  ~Isaiah 5:20

The world calls sex before marriage natural and wonderful, and it calls waiting until marriage backward and foolish.  Even after 2500 years Isaiah's words are still right on the money! 

[yesult]

The world calls sex before marriage natural and wonderful, and it calls waiting until marriage backward and foolish.  Even after 2500 years Isaiah's words are still right on the money!  

Yeah, and it also calls divorce optional, homosexuality natural, love - all about you, and happiness guaranteed.