Feels like single forever...

[missouriangel]

Does anyone feel like they may be single forever???  I have been in two wonderful long term relationships.  Both neither seemed to be quit what God wanted for me...  I ended the second relationship after five years and a lot of prayer...  I felt like it was what God wanted me to do, but now I feel like I will never find the man that God wants me to be with.  I have such a huge desire to me married and to be a mother, why does God not feel that I am worthy of this???  What am I doing wrong???  Am I being punished for something???

sandy

[walker starr]

  YES, ALAS.

[chosenone]

Does anyone feel like they may be single forever???  I have been in two wonderful long term relationships.  Both neither seemed to be quit what God wanted for me...  I ended the second relationship after five years and a lot of prayer...  I felt like it was what God wanted me to do, but now I feel like I will never find the man that God wants me to be with.  I have such a huge desire to me married and to be a mother, why does God not feel that I am worthy of this???  What am I doing wrong???  Am I being punished for something???

sandy

Angel
  Of course God deosnt feel you are unworthy.You arent doing anything wrong. You arent being punished.
I dont know how old you are, but my son is getting married next year and he is 32. My middle child, a daughter, is nearly 30 and hasnt met the right guy yet. Like you she wants to marry and have kids.

I am guessing that you broke up with the other guys for good reason and God wants to bless you.So many are marrying so much later now and having children later so dont despair. Be specific, and ask God what you want in a husband and wait for the right man at the right time. I have 2 couples that I know well where both were in their late 30s before they met. They are both so happy together.

[jackfergusion]

No, I never feel that I should be single because my lover is so nice for me and take more care for me. He loves me so much and I also care for him with love. I have been with my lover since last four years and because of our great understanding we have not faced any trouble in our relationship. .

[chosenone]

No, I never feel that I should be single because my lover is so nice for me and take more care for me. He loves me so much and I also care for him with love. I have been with my lover since last four years and because of our great understanding we have not faced any trouble in our relationship. .

[IamStefanie]

Going through singleness when yuo don't want to is a major struggle. My opinion is that you should not feel like you are being punished. God loves you the same whether you are single or married. The only scripture I can give you is God gives some the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage.
I have a question though - why do you believe you let your last relationship go if it was wonderful? What about the first one?

[Little Lamb]

Don't despair! God might have someone/something very special in mind for you. You may think God wants to punish you or that He finds you not worthy of being a wife or mother, but let me tell you this: These thoughts come straight from the devil! The devil wants you to feel miserable, so you will turn your back on God! Don't listen to those voices in your head, they are telling you lies! God loves you and he wants nothing else than you to be happy! He might just be waiting until you are ready for your partner-for-life! He might just be waiting until you put ALL of your trust in Him. As long as Peter looked at Jesus, he could walk on water. As soon as he looked down, he went down. So don't look down at yourself, look at Him!

I had a short relationship ones of which I truly believed God had put me into. Now, years after, I still believe he did, although the outcome was totally different than I expected. It took me a long time to figure out I just had to learn certain things, which God taught me through that relationship. Right now I am also still waiting for the 'right' person, but I don't despair any more since I learned to trust in God! Right now I am taking my chance of exploring the globe, for which I am very grateful to God. I enjoy life very much, thanks to the fact that I am still a single! Many married people are jealous at me since they don't have the opportunity to do the things I do and to go the places I go.

You may not like to travel around, but what I mean is: make use of every advantage you have as a single. Now is the time to do the things you like yourself! Nobody will complain when you take time for yourself as long as you don't have a family to take care of! Living your life being a single has many advantages, make use of them! But most of all:

DON'T DESPAIR; TRUST IN GOD; HE WILL FULFIL ALL OF YOUR NEEDS!!!

[Silvia]

Angel,

I was 40 when I got married; my husband was 44. It was the first marriage for both of us - first time for *everything*, if you get my drift.

I don't have any pat answers for you. Being single isn't easy, especially when it seems like you are surrounded by couples, by people who are (apparently) happily married. It can be an incredibly lonely time.

A couple of things, though: remember that "no good thing will the Lord withhold from the person whose walk is upright." If/when marriage is a good thing for you, God will provide it for you. Trust Him! There's a song that talks about how in the lonely hours, the blessed lonely hours, Jesus let me know that I was His own...I think it's called Through it All. During my lonely times as a single - and I was often very lonely (didn't date much) - I learned to rely on Jesus in ways that I probably wouldn't have if I was married at that time. He was ALL I had, so I learned to depend on Him in wonderful ways.

Use this season of singleness to do things you might not do if you were married. Travel if you want, and maybe consider ways you might be able to serve the Lord that you couldn't if you were married. Short term missions, for instance. Or whatever. Don't sit at home waiting for your "Prince Charming". Go out and enjoy life! If you want to climb mountains, go climb them (I did - literally. I joined an outdoors club and had a blast!) If you feel called to be a mother, you can be a mother figure to kids at your church - get involved in children's ministry, work in the church nursery. Many of the nursery staff are women who are there because their kids are in the nursery, and they are supposed to take turns. You could give those moms a needed break if you'd do nursery duty for them so they could be in the church service. Or - provide some free/low cost baby sitting for a tired mom so that she can have time to herself.

Luci Swindoll is an older single, never married. If you can, listen to her speak. I've heard her speak on the subject of singleness for the Christian. She is wise, has insight that is solid scripturally. I think she often speaks at Women of Faith conferences.

I don't pretend to have all of the answers about being single. But when I was single, I sure had lots of questions and heartaches. The thing that I found during that time - and I say this without hesitation - is that Jesus was there every time I needed Him. He will provide all you need if you run to Him.

[pppp]

Hi,

read your problem,
& agree with what everyone has said,

just be patient,
& don't worry, God knows & sees,
there are times, when you must be wondering,
why am I, still single,

but many a time, God makes a person wait, coz he knows you are still growing & maturing,
& wants you to take the right decision,

pray to GOD &  in some way he will help you,
pppp

[arleigh]

It seem to me that if i want God's approval I need to live like his approval is all that matters to me, more than my approval, or that of others.
We all want God's blessing but we have issues in our lifestyle that keep Him at a distance.  We all like words like grace and mercy and forgiveness,but really hate repentence and obedience, but that is what Jesus asks.
  Don't deny the conviction of the Holy spirit in your life , stand up to it and invite God's full examination. who is it said,  search me Oh God and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and se if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.
  Delight your self in the Lord . period.
what you NEED, He will provide.
Don't be covetious of the things others have, but want God's perfect will in your life, for your life,all your life.
we always mess up jumping ahead of God. or do you have to learn that the hard way like some of the rest of us?

[dh1746]

Yes, there are sometimes when I think that I may be single forever, as much as I don't want to be.  I also have a huge desire to be married and become a mother and wonder if I am doing something wrong.

[Wordlover]

"Yes, there are sometimes when I think that I may be single forever, as much as I don't want to be.  I also have a huge desire to be married and become a mother and wonder if I am doing something wrong."

Dear Forum members,

Thank you for letting me join your discussion. Countless times I've heard variations of the above question or seen it in the faces of today's young singles.

A few years ago I wrote a letter to the group I call "Dear Young Single Christians." I would invite you to read my letter (and the discussion that follows), for through it you may come to some understanding of what has happened...and more importantly, what might be done.

You'll find it on this site: www.dyscletter.com.

God's grace to you,

Diane Woerner

[blackstyle]

Hey Missouri angel!

I just have to say I know EXACTLY how you feel! And it's so frustrating because you want to be in a relationship the right way... God's Way, but for me, whatever I seem to do doesn't seem to work. I've tried compromising (not a good way to go) I've tried waiting, fasted once a week for a year, prayed til I'm sure God is fed up of hearing the same prayer... I'm just that stage where I think that I may be single for life. It's gettin so bad that I struggle to be around my married friends, or my friends who are gettin married, or having babies, because my heart aches so much because that's all I've ever really wanted, just want to be married and start my family...

I've done all the travelling I want to do, I'm active in ministry, I've adopted kids at church (one comes to my house every Sunday, and I have him so much that people think he's mine! But it's not the same!) So, I feel like I've taken as much advantage of my singleness as I can... I pray one day my change will come, but I'm trying to rely on God in spite of my circumstances!

I just wanted to say that I really can relate. So, if you ever wanna chat, unload, vent... I'm right here!

Bless ya, and take care! x

[pureinheart]

Does anyone feel like they may be single forever???  I have been in two wonderful long term relationships.  Both neither seemed to be quit what God wanted for me...  I ended the second relationship after five years and a lot of prayer...  I felt like it was what God wanted me to do, but now I feel like I will never find the man that God wants me to be with.  I have such a huge desire to me married and to be a mother, why does God not feel that I am worthy of this???  What am I doing wrong???  Am I being punished for something???

sandy

Sandy, I'm right there with you. I understand how you feel. My prayer for you is that God will send that special person VERY soon....I'm burned out on being single also....God will move for us

[pureinheart]

Does anyone feel like they may be single forever???  I have been in two wonderful long term relationships.  Both neither seemed to be quit what God wanted for me...  I ended the second relationship after five years and a lot of prayer...  I felt like it was what God wanted me to do, but now I feel like I will never find the man that God wants me to be with.  I have such a huge desire to me married and to be a mother, why does God not feel that I am worthy of this???  What am I doing wrong???  Am I being punished for something???

sandy

Hi Sandy,

I understand how you feel. I too am wondering what is going on, does God want me to not have a mate...ever?

[Nathanael]

I think that if you have a strong desire to be married and to have children, then God has probably not given you that Gift that Paul mentions, if its a burden and you are unhappy being single then its hardly a gift. I think that if God called you to that he would give you the power to bear singleness. I do feel that the 'default' for humans, christian or not, is to be married. We almost all have a deep desire to be with that special person, to love and be loved in a way that friends and parents can't. Thats why we need a gift of the Holy Spirit to enable us to be single and therefore celibate too if God wants us that way. Pray and search, they work together. God bless.

[777]

Well.......I think a lot of people think if you pray about it, God will simply drop someone in your lap to live happily ever after with.  I have a friend who says the same thing, but in her case, she just sits at home night after night wondering why she isn't meeting someone.  Hmm...................perhaps because she isn't being proactive.  Also, I think us christians tend to look for the "perfect" match for us.  Unfortunately that person doesn't exist.

[Seva]

Well.......I think a lot of people think if you pray about it, God will simply drop someone in your lap to live happily ever after with.  I have a friend who says the same thing, but in her case, she just sits at home night after night wondering why she isn't meeting someone.  Hmm...................perhaps because she isn't being proactive.  Also, I think us christians tend to look for the "perfect" match for us.  Unfortunately that person doesn't exist.

There is sense in what you say.
i see this as having to be a "God thing" or being extremely lucky. i do believe we need to be proactive as you say but,coming from a bad relationship, i do know that you don't want to choose unwisely and, you're right there is no perfect match. Still, i'd rather have God in the mix then roll the dice. I hope He has mercy on me and at least gives me a nudge or something.

[Massiel23]

In my only long term relationship we were together for about five years.  We even got married but it was only for a short period of time (we divorced because of his cheating.)  It has now been about 2 years since our divorce and a bit longer since I last saw him.  I have now been single for over 2 years!  I don't understand or know why it gets to me 'til this day.  I am thinking it's maybe because I fear that may be alone forever or how you say that maybe I did something wrong and I am being punished for it.  But then I think to myself and tell myself that I never did anything wrong...I worked my rear off to keep us afloat and I loved him dearly.  What really sucks is that I am sure he didn't love me nearly as much as I did.  He mentally abused me (I used to be overweight and then I became "obese") and I guess from that even though I've lost weight and I'm now a semi normal size 10/12 I still feel ugly and fat at times.  I really wish it was easier.