I'm a 20 and I really like girls I need help

[benhinshaw0917]

Hello I need some help from some older more wise brothers in Christ.  First off I know the importance of fleeing from sexual sin.  I'm a 20 year old guy in college.  I have never had a girlfriend mostly because I'm so shy and I am a virgin.  However, I know that I'm very guilty of lust, and girls are constantly on my mind.  I honestly don't think about sexual things that often although I am guilty of it from time to time.  Mostly I just think about how pretty they are especially their faces and eyes.  Being so shy I don't really talk to girls much, but I get a certain girl on my mind and think about what it would be like taking her out on a date.  And there are many girls that I think about like this.  I just absolutely love looking at and thinking about girls.  I feel so much guilt and shame because I'm always thinking about this constantly.  Please help me if you can and please pray for me.  I truly want to live for Jesus and have a Christian marriage one day.  Thank you.  God bless.

[RB]

I'm a 20 year old guy in college.

Two of my nine grandsons are your age.

I have never had a girlfriend mostly because I'm so shy and I am a virgin.

That's okay and good for you for staying free of literal fornication.

However, I know that I'm very guilty of lust, and girls are constantly on my mind.

God understands and trust me, it's a good thing that girls are on your mind, very natural. As a young teenager sleeping, God was at work (STILL IS) pumping Testosterones into your young body so that girls WOULD indeed look like something that you should GREATLY desire and do we ever! Very normal my son, very normal.

I honestly don't think about sexual things that often although I am guilty of it from time to time.

You have much more control than I did at twenty! Good for you.

Mostly I just think about how pretty they are especially their faces and eyes.

Is that all? Be honest. Nothing more than God's created Testosterones working well and just as they should TOWARD the opposite sex. Truly, there is nothing that is more beautiful concerning that wonderful gift that God gave to Adam called woman. I cannot think of anything that pleases most goldy men more than a beautiful woman (except Jesus Christ of course)~ The love of a woman surpasses everything that God gave to man, everything.

but I get a certain girl on my mind and think about what it would be like taking her out on a date.  And there are many girls that I think about like this

It's normal young man, VERY NORMAL. You're 100% boy, your dad would be proud of you.

I just absolutely love looking at and thinking about girls.

It even gets better with marriage!

I feel so much guilt and shame because I'm always thinking about this constantly.

I would suggest that you seriously begin to ask God to give you a woman that he HAS FOR YOU ALREADY somewhere and seriously begin to consider getting married before too long down the road. Seems as though the fire is burning and it needs some fuel and does God ever have what you need~she's out there already chosen for you~seek God in earnest prayer to bring you two together and he will.

Please help me if you can and please pray for me.  I truly want to live for Jesus and have a Christian marriage one day.  Thank you.  God bless.

We will and God bless you young man and give you the desires of your heart, and ONCE HE DOES, then love your wife as your own flesh, for she indeed WILL BE.

[Jd34]

First, very normal for you to feel the way that you do. But your going to have to break through your shyness - nothing to fear there. Start asking girls out on dates and dont let rejection drive you further intoyour shell because its going to happen.

keep God first in your life and your prayers will be answered.

[DaveW]

I'm a 20 year old guy in college.  I have never had a girlfriend mostly because I'm so shy and I am a virgin.

Nothing wrong with any of that.

However, I know that I'm very guilty of lust, and girls are constantly on my mind.

Sounds rather normal to me.  Why do you say that is lust?

I honestly don't think about sexual things that often although I am guilty of it from time to time.

Again, it sounds like the way God made you. That is not lust.

Mostly I just think about how pretty they are especially their faces and eyes.

Nothing lustful in any of that.

Being so shy I don't really talk to girls much, but I get a certain girl on my mind and think about what it would be like taking her out on a date.  And there are many girls that I think about like this.  I just absolutely love looking at and thinking about girls. 

That is called a crush and we all have been there.  It is normal.

I feel so much guilt and shame because I'm always thinking about this constantly.

IMO you have swallowed a lie that there is something wrong with this.  The devil likes nothing more than keeping us all locked in "so much guilt and shame," even when there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Please help me if you can and please pray for me.  I truly want to live for Jesus and have a Christian marriage one day.  Thank you.  God bless.

Being shy can be a hindrance to finding a good godly wife. 
Perhaps part of your shyness comes from the false guilt you are feeling? 

There is nothing you listed here that fits the biblical definition of sinful lust. I would concentrate on getting rid of that false guilt. Understand right now that it is FALSE.

Search the scriptures (or the internet) on "Who I am in Christ." Believe it. It always helps to replace lies (the false guilt in this case) with God's truth.

[Tertullian]

Hello I need some help from some older more wise brothers in Christ.  First off I know the importance of fleeing from sexual sin.  I'm a 20 year old guy in college.  I have never had a girlfriend mostly because I'm so shy and I am a virgin.  However, I know that I'm very guilty of lust, and girls are constantly on my mind.  I honestly don't think about sexual things that often although I am guilty of it from time to time.  Mostly I just think about how pretty they are especially their faces and eyes.  Being so shy I don't really talk to girls much, but I get a certain girl on my mind and think about what it would be like taking her out on a date.  And there are many girls that I think about like this.  I just absolutely love looking at and thinking about girls.  I feel so much guilt and shame because I'm always thinking about this constantly.  Please help me if you can and please pray for me.  I truly want to live for Jesus and have a Christian marriage one day.  Thank you.  God bless.

You're more typical than you realize.  Any time now you'll meet a sweet girl and after a few months of knowing her, you'll start to feel very comfortable with her.

[littleoldme]

Hello I need some help from some older more wise brothers in Christ.  First off I know the importance of fleeing from sexual sin.  I'm a 20 year old guy in college.  I have never had a girlfriend mostly because I'm so shy and I am a virgin.  However, I know that I'm very guilty of lust, and girls are constantly on my mind.  I honestly don't think about sexual things that often although I am guilty of it from time to time.  Mostly I just think about how pretty they are especially their faces and eyes.  Being so shy I don't really talk to girls much, but I get a certain girl on my mind and think about what it would be like taking her out on a date.  And there are many girls that I think about like this.  I just absolutely love looking at and thinking about girls.  I feel so much guilt and shame because I'm always thinking about this constantly.  Please help me if you can and please pray for me.  I truly want to live for Jesus and have a Christian marriage one day.  Thank you.  God bless.

Sounds pretty normal to me. What was the problem again?

Seriously, don't suffer so, you sound like every other young person in the world. As long as you don't act on your sexual desires you should be able to stay out of trouble.