I feel angry, hurt and at the end of my rope

[tryingishard]

I don't know what to do anymore about my marriage, as each day passes I'm feeling more and more angry and resentful. I'll try to explain without making this too long. We've been married for 22 yrs. These last 5 years he has had a lot of medical issues from high cholesterol, high blood pressure, chronic neck pain, headaches, chronic acid reflux and now low testosterone. All of this is causing problems in our marriage. He is on medication for most of it but for him it seems ALL medication gives him a side effect that he doesn't like so he stops taking them without even giving it enough time so we're back to the initial problem. He literaly gets mad at me because I can't figure out what he can do to "cure" his problems. I have researched and researched have told him stuff I've learned for only him to just shrug it off but continue to get mad at me because I can't figure it out.
   So for almost the last year now, his schedule is pretty much sleeps in until 11 am or 12, gets ups, maybe goes to the restroom, to the couch and sleeps on the couch until 5 or 6 pm, then he'll be awake alert maybe dose off and on, eat dinner but then by 10 he is wide awake, he will try to come to bed but he will say either his neck hurts or he has heartburn so he'll get up and watch tv and do whatever until 2 or 3 am but he'll still have a hard time sleeping which again he says becuase his neck hurts or heartburn so he'll get back up do the same come to bed around 5 am then sleep like a baby until 11 or 12 then sleep on the couch. We have gotten into numerous fights about this.
What I see is him changing his schedule and that he's day is his night and his night is his day, he absolutely doesn't agree and says he's up ONLY because of his problems. I try to explain to him that he's sleeping ALL DAY on the couch but doesn't have these issues, he rarely eats much during the day but he'll eat meals in the middle of the night.
Anyways all of this is just bringing me down, mainly because I"m lonely, all he does is complains to me about all of it and wont do anything to help himself, we have to be quiet so he can sleep on the couch which is unfair to all of us, he yells at me because I can't figure out whats wrong with him, he wont spend the money and go to the doctor to figure it out and even if he did he wouldn't follow what the doctor says because if the pill gives him any side effect he'll just not take it. Plus he expects ME to stay awake when I have to be up early in the morning to work, he wakes me up constantly through the night complaining, I'm so frustrated, I'm feeling like I'm very resentful and angry.
What do I do? Yes I've been praying. I just feel like I'm at the end with no where to go.

[Janice]

He gets mad at you for not being able to figure it out, but it looks like the doctors had it figured out and already prescribed meds that he doesn't take. I am a little concerned that he has side effects for all his meds - for people who take Pariet for heartburn, about 1% will experience side effects, and even less than that will be severe side effects. If he does not want to see a doctor, a pharmacist will be able to help with managing side effects. Heartburn can also be controlled by avoiding acidic and/or fatty foods, caffeine, carbonated drinks and alcohol. Is he overweight? Losing weight can help with high blood pressure (limit sodium), cholesterol (watch fat intake and get more exercise) and heartburn. 

But...I am not a doctor, so back to my original thought....why is it up to you to figure out what's wrong with him? Are you a physician? To me, honestly, it seems like it isn't so much the physical issues as it might be depression. One trip to the doctor could help him figure out meds, management of side effects, and whether or not depression might be an issue.

I would ask him if not going to a doctor is worth having a resentful wife and numerous arguments about it. And next time he expects you to try to figure out what's wrong with him, I would be inclined to say that you are not a physician (unless you are one), and he needs to be responsible for his own health, but you will support him going to a physician to discuss meds and management of side effects.