WARNING to all Christian women (and men!)

[hanverum]

Hello everyone. I am new to this forum and am thoroughly enjoying reading through all the archives. There are some very strong, God-centered, scripture obeying women on her and it's great to see.

This message is to those of you who are considering or doing the following things:

1) Dating a non-Christian man
2) Having pre-marital sex
3) Marrying a non-Christian man

My message is simple: GET AWAY FROM THIS NOW.

Some of you are in a lucky position where you have no ties like children or marriage and yet are fooling around acting all goofy with non-Christian men who you 'feel' certain things for. Your feelings are irrelevant. SCRIPTURE is what is relevant, not your carnal feelings which the devil loves to use to manipulate us into disobeying God!

I am currently in a mess of a relationship. I have been with the guy for 5 years and I came back to Christ only a few months ago. He is still a non-believer. Knowledge of my sins has hit me with full force and I have realised the reason my relationship has not worked in all those years is because God does not bless sinful relationships! We have been plagued with money worries, dramas and sadness for 5 years, and it is worse now that I can see the truth.

Why don't I just leave?

We have a beautiful 11 month old together whom we both adore (I can't fault him as a father).

I made it clear that we either marry or I have to leave. His pain over the thought of losing our son nearly killed him (and me). He had been in a sinful relationship before me with two kids, and guess what, that failed too. So the potential of him losing another child is too much for him to bear.

Out of guilt and sadness I said we could give it another go as long as we aim towards marriage. But there is no escaping the fact that he is a non-believer so we would never have a solid foundation for our marriage anyway. I prayed to God to quickly show me if we were making the wrong choice by giving it another go - and I feel He is showing me. And his answer is "NO".

Point is, I am praying for the strength to do the right thing, and I am praying for him to see that we need to separate. I trust God and I will follow his commands as I am simply not happy living life any other way and I want my child to be blessed. God is the master of making good out of bad situations so I will just keep praying for the willingness to follow His directions, and strength for our baby's father.

Girl: THE only way for us to conduct ourselves as Christian women as regards marriage is MARRY A CHRISTIAN and do NOT have sexual relations before then. Husbands should love their wives and wives should respect their husbands, while both tirelessly seeking Christ. Marriage should glorify God and God will hand pick the perfect husband for you if you allow Him.

Non-Christian men do not fall into the category of being hand picked by God.

And as regards being "curious" about sex and porn.... If your right eye causes you to sin, cast it aside!! These fleshly lusts are of the devil - FLEE from them. God gives the gift of sexual pleasure as a sacred blessing to two people who HE has joined. Sex without God's blessing is just another foul perversion of satan.

Don't do this the hard way. I have made wrong choices in my life and now I am dealing with the consequences. You don't have to go down that road. Marriage is a privilege - we do not have the right to go around getting warm fluffy feelings for whomever we choose. Leave that to non-believers. As Christians, our standards ought to be much higher.

[Helen]

Excellent post and warning.  It ought to be posted in every church in America -- and elsewhere!  I'm 65 now, and grew up in an era where most of us did have a much stronger sense of morality.  But we -- and I -- made a lot of mistakes regardless.  I have learned one thing in all these years, though:  if you follow the Lord, He will take care of the details of your life.  Please don't be afraid to do what you know is right and go where He leads.  God bless.

[Cally]

These kinds of warnings about not marrying an unbeliever always seem to come from women. I'm wondering what a man in that situation would have to say (if they would be the same things or not).

[Victor08]

You know, there are Muslim jerks, Jewish jerks, Christian jerks, etc., just don't date or marry a jerk.

My wife is a Christian and I am an "agnostic", we have been married for over 21 years.

Our son is 19, he is studying computer science at NC State, doesn't smoke or drink, he turned out just fine.

[Cally]

You know, there are Muslim jerks, Jewish jerks, Christian jerks, etc., just don't date or marry a jerk.

My wife is a Christian and I am an "agnostic", we have been married for over 21 years.

Our son is 19, he is studying computer science at NC State, doesn't smoke or drink, he turned out just fine.

I know a man who is not Christian--basically atheist, I guess--and his wife is supposedly Christian. He's like a boy scout (best way to put it) who likes to help others and such, straight-lacer, and she's incredibly selfish and a horrific wife who causes him a great deal of harm.

[chosenone]

These kinds of warnings about not marrying an unbeliever always seem to come from women. I'm wondering what a man in that situation would have to say (if they would be the same things or not).

The Bible applies to men and women. My husband would never have considered marrying or going out with a non Christian woman. Why would he?

[Cally]

These kinds of warnings about not marrying an unbeliever always seem to come from women. I'm wondering what a man in that situation would have to say (if they would be the same things or not).

The Bible applies to men and women. My husband would never have considered marrying or going out with a non Christian woman. Why would he?

I just meant, whether they would report the same negative experience. I'm just wondering what their testimony would be like.

[chosenone]

These kinds of warnings about not marrying an unbeliever always seem to come from women. I'm wondering what a man in that situation would have to say (if they would be the same things or not).

The Bible applies to men and women. My husband would never have considered marrying or going out with a non Christian woman. Why would he?

I just meant, whether they would report the same negative experience. I'm just wondering what their testimony would be like.

I think it very rare for a Christian man to be married to a non Christian woman. In fact in 40 years as a believer, I can only think of one couple where this was the case. I think this is partly because in many cases its it the wife who converts first, and then the husbands often follow later, and partly because they are so many more women than men in the Church, so men can usually find a wife in the church circles wheras women have much less chance.

[chosenone]

Why do you think feelings are irrelevant? You also call it carnal feelings. It is just silly in my opinion.

And that is not the only reason why people date non-Christians. There are surely more women than men in both churches I attended and many good Christian men are already married or in a relationship. Thanks God, we are not required to attend a church so I do not have to worry about that anymore.

I do not see anything wrong with dating or marrying a none-Christian, if he is the right man for you and you love him then you do not need anything more than that. the bible does not say it is a sin. I have a bible and I do not see that anywhere. You do not mention anything about how he behaves or treats you. In other words, you're making lame excuses to just leave this man. YOU do not want to be with him anymore. That is why. If you loved him, you would not say any of this especially because you have a child and his father will probably still want to see him, even if you leave. It will not be over.

Thank you for the warning. Maybe it will be helpful for some religious people.

  Lily you know full well that God tells us not to do this. It doesn't matter if there are more women than men in the church, its still not allowed.  Yes we are required to spend time with other believers, so you are wrong there again.

The warning is for all Gods children, so if that is you, then heed her warning. You ignore Gods instructions at your peril.

[Helen]

I think what some of you are forgetting is that this is not about feelings.  This is about God's ORDERS through Paul not to be partnered with someone of a different faith. 

Interestingly, the Bible has taught this same lesson throughout.  First physically:  Cain married his sister (incest was not defined until the time of Moses and there were no mutations in the first few generations to make a close intermarriage dangerous for the children).  Abraham married his half-sister and when they looked for a wife for their son, Isaac, they went back to the family group.  When Esau married outside the family group, Isaac and Rebekah were quite upset.  Jacob, even though he was running away, ran BACK to the family group and ended up with a couple of wives and their maidservants as well!  Oh well....

At the time of Moses, incest was defined and forbidden, but the rule now extended to not partnering with a person outside Israel and the faith.  At this point the spiritual application was starting to meld with the physical application.  In the New Testament the real point of it all finally is shown -- what has light to do with darkness.

The OT almost always is a physical demonstration in history of spiritual truths given by Jesus and explained by the writers more fully.  Do NOT marry someone outside your faith.

Another way of looking at it is this:  no matter how far apart you are when you start out, if your goal is the same, you will grow closer together through time.  Inversely, no matter how close you seem when you start out, if your goals are different, you will inevitably grow apart through time.

God's rules have always been for our welfare and protection.  He doesn't need them Himself!  Why do we keep trying to damage ourselves by ignoring them?

[Cally]

God's rules have always been for our welfare and protection.  He doesn't need them Himself!  Why do we keep trying to damage ourselves by ignoring them?

Indeed, that's exactly what I'm always asking when I cannot find a single church that even makes a noticeable attempt at conforming to the New Testament model thoroughly described in the Bible.

To not be "unequally yoked" is not talking about marriage, though I agree it's suitable to apply to marriage. But with the sheer disjoint between scripture and church culture I almost wonder what it even matters.

[Helen]

Well, then, you have a choice, Cally -- Scripture or church culture. 

[Cally]

Well, then, you have a choice, Cally -- Scripture or church culture. 

scripture, for sure. ;)

[chosenone]

God's rules have always been for our welfare and protection.  He doesn't need them Himself!  Why do we keep trying to damage ourselves by ignoring them?

Indeed, that's exactly what I'm always asking when I cannot find a single church that even makes a noticeable attempt at conforming to the New Testament model thoroughly described in the Bible.

To not be "unequally yoked" is not talking about marriage, though I agree it's suitable to apply to marriage. But with the sheer disjoint between scripture and church culture I almost wonder what it even matters.

I have found several churches even just in my area that are very earnest in their desire to stick to the Bible. I have always been amazed when people say they cant find such a church, after all America is far more Christian that the UK and has far more churches to choose from. Not sure what that has to do with marriage though???

Marriage is the most important joining of two people that we will ever know, so the 'unequally yoked' passage, definitely applies to marriage. As Paul says, how can light and darkness mix. He also expressly says that young widows are to marry only believers, so why should it be different for anyone else?

[chosenone]

I think what some of you are forgetting is that this is not about feelings.  This is about God's ORDERS through Paul not to be partnered with someone of a different faith. 

Interestingly, the Bible has taught this same lesson throughout.  First physically:  Cain married his sister (incest was not defined until the time of Moses and there were no mutations in the first few generations to make a close intermarriage dangerous for the children).  Abraham married his half-sister and when they looked for a wife for their son, Isaac, they went back to the family group.  When Esau married outside the family group, Isaac and Rebekah were quite upset.  Jacob, even though he was running away, ran BACK to the family group and ended up with a couple of wives and their maidservants as well!  Oh well....

At the time of Moses, incest was defined and forbidden, but the rule now extended to not partnering with a person outside Israel and the faith.  At this point the spiritual application was starting to meld with the physical application.  In the New Testament the real point of it all finally is shown -- what has light to do with darkness.

The OT almost always is a physical demonstration in history of spiritual truths given by Jesus and explained by the writers more fully.  Do NOT marry someone outside your faith.

Another way of looking at it is this:  no matter how far apart you are when you start out, if your goal is the same, you will grow closer together through time.  Inversely, no matter how close you seem when you start out, if your goals are different, you will inevitably grow apart through time.

God's rules have always been for our welfare and protection.  He doesn't need them Himself!  Why do we keep trying to damage ourselves by ignoring them?

I have no idea, and every time we go against His instructions it will end in tears for us. 

[Cally]

God's rules have always been for our welfare and protection.  He doesn't need them Himself!  Why do we keep trying to damage ourselves by ignoring them?

Indeed, that's exactly what I'm always asking when I cannot find a single church that even makes a noticeable attempt at conforming to the New Testament model thoroughly described in the Bible.

To not be "unequally yoked" is not talking about marriage, though I agree it's suitable to apply to marriage. But with the sheer disjoint between scripture and church culture I almost wonder what it even matters.

I have found several churches even just in my area that are very earnest in their desire to stick to the Bible. I have always been amazed when people say they cant find such a church, after all America is far more Christian that the UK and has far more churches to choose from. Not sure what that has to do with marriage though???

I've mentioned many times why the church-vs-congregation scheme of typical churches is nothing like what scripture portrays of the church.

Church culture is far from scripture, so as far as I'm concerned there's an "unequally yoked" issue regardless for someone who truly cares about his Bible. People who truly fear scriptures are far, FAR more rare than the number who attend church.

[chosenone]

God's rules have always been for our welfare and protection.  He doesn't need them Himself!  Why do we keep trying to damage ourselves by ignoring them?

Indeed, that's exactly what I'm always asking when I cannot find a single church that even makes a noticeable attempt at conforming to the New Testament model thoroughly described in the Bible.

To not be "unequally yoked" is not talking about marriage, though I agree it's suitable to apply to marriage. But with the sheer disjoint between scripture and church culture I almost wonder what it even matters.

I have found several churches even just in my area that are very earnest in their desire to stick to the Bible. I have always been amazed when people say they cant find such a church, after all America is far more Christian that the UK and has far more churches to choose from. Not sure what that has to do with marriage though???

I've mentioned many times why the church-vs-congregation scheme of typical churches is nothing like what scripture portrays of the church.

Church culture is far from scripture, so as far as I'm concerned there's an "unequally yoked" issue regardless for someone who truly cares about his Bible. People who truly fear scriptures are far, FAR more rare than the number who attend church.

Not in my experience Cally. I have known countless genuine Bible believing Christians.

Most churches have small groups which are far more close to the early churches way of doing things.

[DaveW]

I cannot find a single church that even makes a noticeable attempt at conforming to the New Testament model thoroughly described in the Bible.

You have never been to a Tikkun Messianic congregation then.

[DaveW]

Most churches have small groups which are far more close to the early churches way of doing things.

But the earliest "early church" was also a mega church by anyone's definition:

Acts 4:4  But many of those who had heard the message believed; and the number of the men came to be about five thousand.

That was in just the Jerusalem congregation and did not include women and children.  A few years later:

Acts 21:20  And when they heard it they began glorifying God; and they said to him, "You see, brother, how many thousands** there are among the Jews of those who have believed, and they are all zealous for the Law;

** Greek = myrias meaning tens of thousands.