Wanting someone I know I cannot have...

[courtcorner22]

Hi,

I'm new here and would just like some advice if I'm honest or some stories of anyone else who has ever had these feelings.

I'm a committed Christian and single, but recently have become very lonely and the feeling of wanting a partner has become somewhat unbearable.
I am a firm believer in Christ and I try my best to read His Scriptures and apply them to the ways in which I conduct myself/life.  But the desolation I have been feeling is starting to cloud my thoughts and sending me to dark places.

To cut a very long story short, I'm a student studying Theology and as of late, I've been having romantic thoughts about one of my married lecturers. He is, in my eyes, is everything I could ever want, yet everything I can never have.
To even write this makes me upset as I know I would never act on this (and I'm positive that he wouldn't either, if feelings were verbalised/reciprocated etc.)
But just acknowledging that I can feel like this for a MARRIED man is making me feel so down and consequently, physically sick. Every bone in my body is against adultery and yet here I am, thinking about him all the time.

So, I guess it just broils down to wanting to admit to this on a Christian forum, (where hopefully I won't be judged) because there is no one in my life that I feel could talk to about this.

I have and will continue to pray about this, as it's affecting my work when he takes my lectures. I cannot concentrate and afterwards I just want to cry.

Has anyone else had these feelings? And if so, how did you overcome them?

Thanks for reading and any responses at any time will be greatly appreciated.

[k-pappy]

Please clarify...are you taking his lectures or is he taking your lectures?

What is the context of the lectures?

[courtcorner22]

So sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm the student and he is the Lecturer.

I'm studying Theology and he is one of the senior Lecturers in Biblical and Theological studies.

[chosenone]

Many students have crushes on a teacher or lecturer or someone else in authority. Its very common, but the fantasies are not real life. He is a human being like us all, with faults, weaknesses, annoying habits etc, yet in your thoughts he seems perfect because you are making him perfect and unreal. 
The only thing to know is that it will pass, they always do, and that you must take those thoughts captive and not allow yourself to dwell on them. Think about other things, thank God for the good thing in your life, read a book, listen the the radio,  watch tv, but DONT allow your mind to wander, as Joyce Meyer says, where the mind goes the man will follow and NEVER EVER verbalise your feeling to him. 

The fact that you seem lonely wont help, try and get involved in things where you mix with students of you own age  and make new friends.Clubs, hobbies, voluntary work, church groups.  Assuming you are still in your late teens or early 20's you have so much time to meet the right guy. He isnt it. He is spoken for and probably far too old for you even if he werent.   

[k-pappy]

So sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm the student and he is the Lecturer.

I'm studying Theology and he is one of the senior Lecturers in Biblical and Theological studies.

It's probably too late for this semester, but do not take any more classes where he is the lecturer.  Do not get involved in any activities where he is an adviser.  The only thing that will make it stop is to ensure there is no interaction between the two of you.  Also, anytime thoughts of him enter your mind (the kind that should not be there) repeat 1 Cor 6:18-20 to yourself.

[courtcorner22]

Thank you for your response, I needed that and just someone to tell me it will pass (because right now it feels so strong, it seems never-ending).
I am in my early 20's and I remain highly optimistic that the right man will come along. As I mentioned, never would I dream of saying anything, but part of me just hopes that my demeanour does not give anything away.
I just need to focus on what's true, right and from God.
But I must admit that writing this down has really helped, as it was becoming a bit suffocating.
Thanks again for replying.

[chosenone]

Thank you for your response, I needed that and just someone to tell me it will pass (because right now it feels so strong, it seems never-ending).
I am in my early 20's and I remain highly optimistic that the right man will come along. As I mentioned, never would I dream of saying anything, but part of me just hopes that my demeanour does not give anything away.
I just need to focus on what's true, right and from God.
But I must admit that writing this down has really helped, as it was becoming a bit suffocating.
Thanks again for replying.

I am glad its helped, writing can be very theraputic. Also be honest with God, maybe even write it all down to Him, after all he knows all about it anyway. He wont be shocked.

I think that teachers and lecturers have to deal with this a fair bit, it cant be easy for them, but keeping the relationship strictly as student and teacher is important. That and strong moral values.

[courtcorner22]

So sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm the student and he is the Lecturer.

I'm studying Theology and he is one of the senior Lecturers in Biblical and Theological studies.

It's probably too late for this semester, but do not take any more classes where he is the lecturer.  Do not get involved in any activities where he is an adviser.  The only thing that will make it stop is to ensure there is no interaction between the two of you.  Also, anytime thoughts of him enter your mind (the kind that should not be there) repeat 1 Cor 6:18-20 to yourself.

Thanks for replying and you are correct, it's too late to change now. Avoidance is key and I have, and will continue to do this as much as is possible. However, we are quite a small university (as far as they go anyway) and actively avoiding him in every way is just not feasible.  I just need to get over these feelings and with The Lord's help and guidance, I will. Thanks again for taking the time to respond and for the Scripture.