Fifty Shades of Grey

[MeMyself]

I hate this for men.  They are not mindless neanderthals who are lead by their physical urges for food and sex...it make me FURIOUS that so many have bought into this!   

Well - try this one on for size.

http://www.squaredancecd.com/Bride/brides.htm

Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.

  It makes me so sad how something so beautiful between a man and his wife is reduced to a duty that you have to chart, make a list to remember to do and just grin and bear it.

Way to take what God intends for blessing and make it akin to cleaning the toilet. 

[MeMyself]

Men's lust issues are constantly met with "don't treat women like objects," and what I'm asking is, when it's women who are doing the lusting after men, where are all the "don't treat men like objects" or "respect men" lectures to women?

I am of the opinion that most men (probably an overwhelming majority) wish they were viewed by women as sexual objects. Even good christian men.

Women often cry "foul" when they are viewed that way, but what man complains?

  Edited to remove post. My apologies

[DaveW]

xxxxx

OK - Well, Moving right along ... 

This is the SINGLES sex forum.  Not the married one. Can we put something in there that is more keyed to the singles? 

Can we hear from any singles on this book (or others like it) and if you think it is beneficial or detrimental, and why.

Are you going to see the movie? .....

edited to remove comment deleted by MeMy

[MeMyself]

Sorry. Didn't realize it was in the singles space.  I will remove my post....and keep to my own lane. 

[Cally]

I am of the opinion that most men (probably an overwhelming majority) wish they were viewed by women as sexual objects. Even good christian men.

You may well be right, Dave, which is really sad, and it's something I've contemplated for a long time, that the reason a message like not letting the prostitute reduce you to a piece of bread or defiling one's body on her (THAT's the bible's message on sexual purity) falls so flat is really because we, in the culture of men, are simply so accustomed to being reduced to pieces of bread ALREADY in so many other ways that it just doesn't make our senses react to what's really going on.

Men will even become complacent that they're treated like their value is the summation of what they produce, lacking thought as to their innate value.

I remember seeing studies (shouldn't be too hard to look up)  of news reports of (say) some natural disaster and the report will go something like "90 were killed, 16 of them women," like it's a MUCH bigger deal if a woman is harmed.

Boko Haram killed many boys before he kidnapped girls, and the only thing reported by major news outlets and caused an uproar was the kidnapped girls, not the boys he killed. Later on Boko Haram also kidnapped boys, and again, nothing. The outrage was only for the well-being of girls. There is just overwhelming indication that men's lives, protection and well-being are valued FAR less than women's and it's nothing really new. Men's PRODUCTIVITY is a rather high priority, which is something else. I have no doubt this is all connected. I wish men could be taught not to be party to this objectification of themselves and even learn to start fighting for it.

One of the few times I ever went to a bar in my life (drinks were half price, and I like the occasional mixed drink), a woman kept trying to get me to "dance" with her and eventually started grabbing at me and elbowed me in the ribs. No, I was not particularly pleased. Neither are most victims of (for example) female-on-male rape.

[Cally]

Honestly another thing I think that has to do with these outlets like pornography and literotica is the repression of masculinity and femininity, like unfortunately one of the last places for those to exist in the modern world are those "secret" places where it's no-holds-barred immorality anyway. :(

[DaveW]

Neither are most victims of (for example) female-on-male rape.

Actually I think you mean sexual assault or criminal sexual conduct.  The word "rape" requires penetration by the perpetrator; and unless some foreign object is used,  a woman lacks the equipment to do that.

[Gracey]

Would these 'christian' women who read this book be ok if their husband looked at porn? Probably not. I dont know anyone who read it and I have no idea why any Christian would think it was in anyway Ok.

I don't think it's fair to put 'Christian' in inverted commas like that.  I am a Christian and yep, I read it.
I read it because of a lot of rather self-righteous sounding internet posts telling me I shouldn't.  I don't think it's actually anyone's business what I read or not - I will let my gut be the guide on that one.

I wasn't sure what to expect - as a woman it actually kept my interest because there was a good story running through it all.  Christian is this dark, foreboding character with a troubled, mysterious history.  She is of the view that somehow she can 'save' him and little by little, as the story unfolds, it's clear she can't.  But I was intrigued to know what kind of terrible secrets lurked in his past.  The sex stuff adds to the intrigue but after a while, it got a bit ridiculous - I was thinking, 'Oh COME on, not AGAIN!!!'.   As the story finished up, I wondered if I would read the other books and I made a choice not to, because I didn't think it was good for my spiritual health.  But I am glad that I made the choice myself to read it.  I am a grown up, who can make my own decisions and don't need someone questioning my relationship with God because of what I've chosen to read.   After all, the same people who might be questioning my reading material, could be watching horror or slasher movies, or drooling over the half naked posters in magazines or any other number of things.

It was my choice and I'm glad I read it.