Is it possible that God let me still single untill 80 years old ?

[Joy]

I do not know who is my mr.right, but I  know what should I do now is just waiting. How long will I wait for , and there is no right man in our church ,either too old or too young, is it possible that God let me wait ,wait and wait  untill 80 years old ?

[spurly]

It is possible.

[Petals]

Joy, you're 26...not 70!!!  My son found his girlfriend at your age, and he had never dated much before that time.  He just kept on serving God and one day, he met his bride to be right there at church. 

Our former minister of music had been married before, but his wife ran off with another man many years ago.  He faithfully served God and last year moved back down south where his family lived.  Not having found someone in 15 years since his divorce, he thought it was meant for him to be single the rest of his life.  That is, until he met the church secretary at the church where he was ministering in music.  They were engaged on Christmas eve.  He is 54 years old. 

The point I'm trying to make is that when you least expect it, Mr. Right may appear right around the corner.  A lot can happen in a minute that can change your life.  Just keep on keepin' on with the Lord, and anticipate that one day He will grant your heart's desire for a Christian husband.  Just be wary of counterfeits in the meantime.

Best wishes for a happy life!   

[Joy]

Thank you very much for your valuable advice, trueblue!  Maybe this is a very costful time for me to serve God ,and grown up in holy spirit .

[Pokhara]

God has a plan for you, and it is not for us to know in advance what it is.

Do not think you would necessarily be happier if you found a partner.  Not everyone enjoys married life.  Try to get as much enjoyment as you can from the life you have now.

[Joy]

Thank you, Pokhara

[Racheka]

Hi Joy,
I struggle with the same thing, almost every day- wondering if I'll ever meet someone. It's hard but I think that I would be willing to wait my whole life just for a short time with 'the one'- the problem is not knowing whether it will or not- so all this waiting seems in vain sometimes.
Anyway...just wanted to say I can relate!!

[Tantor]

Singleness and the freedom it affords is a blessing from God and you should be rejoicing that God has given it to you.

[janine]

Paul did seem to point that out -- he wasn't against marriage, but he mentioned the way a single person can devote more to serving the Lord than a married person has available to devote.

[Joy]

Hi,Racheka ,Thank you for your sharing .I watched the CD about <Today with God> with tear yesterday . When saw jesus did a lot of miracles and at last sacrificed for me, I know I am very lucky and must believe whatever he prepares for me is perfect. May these words can help you ,We brothers and sisiters should encourage each other , IN JESUS

[Tantor]

Paul did seem to point that out -- he wasn't against marriage, but he mentioned the way a single person can devote more to serving the Lord than a married person has available to devote.

I know he isn't against marriage.. but I think his message is that when we are bought by God we are no longer free to persue our desires as much as God gives us the grace to do so.

Marriage would be a personal desire, in my opinion, and provided God would bless us, we should try to stay single for the sake of his kingdom.  But in the case that God has not granted us this gift, as Paul says, it is better to marry then burn.  As with other things in the scriptures, he shows that God has compassion on our human condition.

So my point of contention is that as churches, we should raise our children and education them to seek single lives first but with the secondary teaching of marriage so that if in the event they are not able to stay single they are prepared for marriage.

I also am not saying that married people are 'secondary' christians.. we are who we are.

But I look at it this way, the vast majority of churches are family oriented in this country, they have a plethora of programs for families to participate in and takes the bulk of the churches budget.  This is what I find to be wrong.

When I look at the scriptures, I see the priorities of a church in the following order.

1.) Preaching the Gospel.
2.) Preparing individuals for missions.
3.) Taking care of the needy, widows and other physical needs of the community.
4.) Taking care of church families.

I see a totaly reversal in almost all churches I have attended.. they are totally internally self absorbed.

[Jon-Marc]

Marriage (in my opinion) is not the all-important thing in life. Well, maybe it is to some or even most people. What I learned from being married is that I should have stayed single. Some of us are not good at compromising. God has a purpose for whatever happens in a believer's life. If there is someone for you, it's always best to wait upon the Lord and not rush into marrying the wrong person. I did that twice and regret it to this day.

[Joy]

Jon-Marc ,tHANK YOU VERY MUCH

[Mr. J]

Since when is there a Mr. or Miss Right?  There is certainly no indication in the Bible that such exists.  God did command some to marry (Adam, Hosea, etcetera), but there is absolutely no indication that there is "one" to wait for to marry.

Quite the contrary, we're given a whole list of do's and don'ts on how to act when married.  If there was guaranteed to be the "one" in our future and all things were so emotional and magical, would there need to be a written family plan given us in the Bible?

If you believe there is "the one" magically promised you, consider that he has probably by now found his "one" and is probably very happy with his family and you're waiting around for nothing.

If you stay hidden in a corner, then yes, you have a very real possibility of growing old with no family.

God can bless, and does bless.  He can deliver you a miracle if He so chooses.  But, He does not promise there is "the one" for you.  Never, not anywhere in the Bible.  Some people choose to believe that, just like some people choose to believe in a pre-trib rapture, no matter how anti-biblical the belief.

Unless you have been personally promised by God, Himself, that the rock you hide under will be upturned by "the one" and you will be "found." then you have to assume there is no such promise.

You might want to let yourself be seen by men who are likely to have some morals and responsible attitudes.  That would make total sense. 

Quality women are a rarity.  If you are a quality woman, you will have many offers to choose from.  If the offers you're getting are not good enough, make yourself seen by a different set of men.

A man cannot become interested in you if he does not know you exist.  I know a lot of guys, I've never heard one say that a voice came to him and told him to look under this certain rock to find his princess. 

So, if that is what you are waiting for, nobody has ever heard of it happening.  Get real.

[James Rondon]

So my point of contention is that as churches, we should raise our children and education them to seek single lives first but with the secondary teaching of marriage so that if in the event they are not able to stay single they are prepared for marriage.

I agree with you, except I would have said "that as Christians", instead of "that as churches"...

It is the individual believer's duty and responsibility to raise their own children.

[aleluja]

Let me tell you how this thinks work.
God does not have a plan for you. If he would have one without you knowing it, than what is the point? You would be  just a puppet  in human form right? And he is at home controlling you! Well... it does not work like that. You are here to enjoy your life as much as possible. You have your own free will and you can do anything you want! No limitations! And that is the beauty of it. Free will!!!! This is it! If he has a plan, than it is not any more! You are doing what he wants! So about you waiting for your the one... You just have to make a decision what you want!. Write down what kinda man you want. Write every detail and than write, where this person would hang out! Than go on those places. Talk to people! Expect him! And sooner or later he will show up! Trust me!

[Petals]

aleluja...         I think I've met your cousin Alleluia...

God DOES have a plan for her.   He also promises to give us the desires of our hearts if we delight in Him.  If Joy's heart's desire is to be married, then God will work it all out in His time.

Jeremiah 29:11,12 states:  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord; thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.  Then shall ye call upon Me, and ye shall go and pray unto Me, and I will hearken unto you. 

[Brian Millar]

That creature's first post was pointing to some movie designed to question your faith in Christ, I reported it to the moderators, it's gone.  It's interest is purely selfish, take note I say it, that's what they call demons.  I pray for the body that you possess and the soul that you have placed in bondage aleluja, I am fully aware of your intentions here, others, heed my warning here, do not entertain that creature with your thoughts and time, simply report it to the moderator, this is called trolling.

[janine]

Brian Millar, your post is unclear without the offensive material still in place.   Could you either explain a bit or modify your post to contain enough information?

******************************************************************************

I would certainly have a quieter life if I were single.  Not a bad thing when you're wanting that, but it might be terribly lonely sometimes.

[Brian Millar]

My post was in regards to the now banned individual "aleluja" that said God did not have a plan for her.  That individual was trolling the boards to cause trouble, I know where they came from and the blast was directed at them exclusively, not anybody else on the boards at all.  If you get someone brand new here spouting off blasphemies, it's likely the same person or someone from their group, of which I have had direct experience with in the past, yet they decided to follow me here, so, I did step up to the plate to nip what they were saying in the bud on no uncertain terms.

My apologies if anybody was offended, again, it was only directed at that individual and it's a long story I care not to lay upon this board with.

[janine]

No problem at all -- other moderators were closer to the situation than I, and, as we can see, this aleluja person has been dealt with.

My reason for wanting more detail was for those of us who know even less than I do about it -- a clarification such as what you have now posted is fine. 

[Rosemary]

God has a plan for you, and it is not for us to know in advance what it is.


Where does it say in the Bible that we are not to know in advance what God's plan for our life is?  If this is the case then how can anyone keep from blindly stumbling through life playing a guessing game of what God's plan and mission for their life is?

I believe God has a plan for all of us as humans, that is to know love and acceptance of others, not hate and rejection, and to know Him first as Lord and Savior.   I believe that's what God's plan for us is.   

I don't believe God would have us live in ignorance.   

   

[Pokhara]

Rosemary, I could cite a few Bible passages here, but one will do.

Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come?  Ecc 8:7 (NIV)

God expects us to honour Him and to care for others, and He does tell us a few things about what the future holds for us - such as that we will be judged in the hereafter.  However this does not alter the fact that God does not allow us to know where we will be tomorrow or in fifty years from now.

My point was and remains that we should seek to enjoy the life we have, and not live in expectation of something better.

[Rosemary]

My point was and remains that we should seek to enjoy the life we have, and not live in expectation of something better.


I thank you for the passage you cited relating to the fact that we cannot know what the future holds for us.   I still believe that God will guide us into what life's mission is for us personally if we open our hearts in faith to Him.

Yes, we should enjoy the life we have now to the fullest.   That is what God seeks is for us to be happy and live life abundantly.  However, due to this being a fallen world that is not always possible.   Therefore, faith is tested and people stray away from God's promise of happiness and fulfillment.

I do expect something better than this life and this world.   I look forward to a world in God's Kingdom free from evil and filled with joy and happiness and love that cannot be compared to anything we know here.   In this world I see people becoming so distant and hateful toward other people, so ungodly.    So yes, I do live in expectation of something better.

[janine]

Oh boy, Pokhara, I may disagree with you.  Paul's attitude was at one point that a slave should seek his freedom if he could -- but that he should be content to be God's person where he was, also.

Is that what you mean?  Surely you don't mean literally that we should not have a hopeful positive expectation that God has everything under His control, and that He will care for His children?

No, I don't mean that God wants us all to be "Elmer J. Fudd, Millionaire", with a mansion and a yacht.  I don't even mean that God's hand on our lives will protect us from negative things that are bound to happen in a fallen world running on "free will".

I just wonder, did you really mean to portray the proper attitude as one of a hopeless assumption that there will be nothing better tomorrow?

[Pokhara]

I just wonder, did you really mean to portray the proper attitude as one of a hopeless assumption that there will be nothing better tomorrow?

My original comment was:

God has a plan for you, and it is not for us to know in advance what it is.

Do not think you would necessarily be happier if you found a partner.  Not everyone enjoys married life.  Try to get as much enjoyment as you can from the life you have now.

I believe that God wants us to make the most of the opportunities that He presents us with, and not waste our time dreaming about what might happen if only ...  We all do that.  I certainly do, and I don't think it's a sin.

If God wants Joy to find her ideal partner, then He can arrange for that to happen at any time, and He does not need her to assist by dreaming her ideal man into existence (an allusion to the song I'm Right Here by Samantha Mumba ).

[Guy Arthur Thomas]

Getting married is YOUR CHOICE. It is NOT a choice God is either PREVENTING OR IMPOSING.  You are single because you have made choices RESULTING IN THAT.  Blaming God isn't the proper response to a real or perceived dilemma.

[janine]

Sure it is!  If God has the ONE perfect partner for me, and yet I'm not married, why that must be God's fault, yes?

[DiamondHobbit]

Joy, you're 26...not 70!!!  My son found his girlfriend at your age, and he had never dated much before that time.  He just kept on serving God and one day, he met his bride to be right there at church. 

Our former minister of music had been married before, but his wife ran off with another man many years ago.  He faithfully served God and last year moved back down south where his family lived.  Not having found someone in 15 years since his divorce, he thought it was meant for him to be single the rest of his life.  That is, until he met the church secretary at the church where he was ministering in music.  They were engaged on Christmas eve.  He is 54 years old. 

The point I'm trying to make is that when you least expect it, Mr. Right may appear right around the corner.  A lot can happen in a minute that can change your life.  Just keep on keepin' on with the Lord, and anticipate that one day He will grant your heart's desire for a Christian husband.  Just be wary of counterfeits in the meantime.

Best wishes for a happy life!   

.............easy for you to say.

[internationalelf]

I do not know who is my mr.right, but I  know what should I do now is just waiting. How long will I wait for , and there is no right man in our church ,either too old or too young, is it possible that God let me wait ,wait and wait  untill 80 years old ?

Finding the right person and getting married might be totally in God's hands, but on the other hand, it might be totally in our hands. Or maybe a bit of both? I am still trying to figure it out.

When I adopt the mindset that it is totally in God's hands and not mine, then I become passive and don't do my part in looking for someone. Then when I don't find someone I get mad at God. But perhaps I am wrong to get mad at God, since how can I expect him to lead me to someone if I never leave my house or do anything to create opportunities to meet people?

Perhaps my current singleness is due to the direct hand of God, but perhaps not; perhaps it is due solely to my passivity and social withdrawal; I tend to think that it is the latter.

We use the word "waiting" but this should not = passivity. If a person wants to find a mate, they need to actively search. I have had a hard time reconciling this in my head. I felt like if I actively searched, then this was a demonstration of my lack of trust in God, but now I realize that that was just a part of my brain trying to make excuses to crawl back into my antisocial shell.

[Pokhara]

There is no harm in anyone continuing this discussion, but I think it is fair to point out that the young lady who began this thread has not posted here since 12 January, and so it is likely that she does not even visit this site nowadays.