is it better to go to your local church or one further away that you prefer

[chosenone]

We have a local church that I went to for 10 years. for reasons I wont go into I left there and went no where for the next ten years.
!8 months ago, my now husband and I started going to a different church 15 miles away, which we prefer, but I would really rather go to a church that is in my community rather than one that is in a community that I dont know, and to be able to reach out through the church to those who live round me rather than to those who dont live anywhere near us.
What do others think?

[Imabear]

I got a bit of this from yesterday's sermon.

A Great Commission congregation will be full of people who are:

1  Rooted in Jesus Christ. 

2  Radiate Christ's presence and reflect His image.

3  Messengers of Christ's transforming power.

4  Aware of God's timing and God's Spirit.

5  Extensions of God's hands and feet.

Go where you can be fed and nurtured, and also be of service in both inside and outside of the body.

[Thunder]

I think it isn't always about where we want to be, but where God wants us to be.

I should listen to myself more often, as that applies to areas in my own life I've been struggling with.

Anyway, I think if you prefer the church you are currently at, then I am assuming that is where you feel God speaking to you more clearly/receive the most nourishment in your spiritual life?  If so I would stay; perhaps there is a reason God placed you in this other community.

If you feel it is God who is calling you to locate to a different church, and not your own desires, I would pray about it with your husband and follow where the Lord takes you.

[Bonnie]

Go where God leads you for he has a purpose even though you may not see it now.

God Bless

[Bon Voyage]

I am part of Christ's one church, and I don't go to any church, I am a part of the church.

Though, I am currently looking for a new Christian family as I just moved.

[WileyClarkson]

Chosenone,

Speaking from experience, be a part of the congregation where you will grow spiritually and are wanted for who you are!  If you have to drive 35 miles one way to be in a congregation that is concerned about your spiritual growth, makes you feel like you are needed, and knows when you are not there-----don't question whether it is right to be local or drive the distance--Drive the distance!  We are the only members of the church that are from our community.

My wife and I drive 35 miles one way at 13.5 mpg/$3.799/gal (do the math for what it costs!) to be with a conggregation that makes us feel like we have left home to go home 35 miles away.  It is a congregation of 850 members and it is a wonderful bunch of brothers and sisters to gather with to sing, pray, worship the Savior, and commune together once a week.

The congregation we were at for 18 years was only 3.5 miles from the house.  It was rigid when we were not, not particularly caring if we were not there--except that they missed the song leader because no one else really wanted to do it, and they were at each other's throats for a year and a half, unforgiving and unrelenting in what they said about each other, until we had to leave or they would have totally quenched the spirit in us.  The next congregation was 5 times the size, 13 miles away, legalistic, hardline, had a group within the congregation that controlled the congregation and would drive off anyone who disagreed while those who stayes turned the direction.  We lasted through 1.5 years of verbal attacks, back stabbing, etc until we were run off. 

Our present congregation is everything we could want in a congregational home and is something we look forward to everyweek because we are growing spiritually, and we are loved and we love them!

[chosenone]

Thanks for all of your replies. I appreciate you all taking the time to write and I have taken on board what you have all said.
As far as the church itself goes, there has been a purpose in us going there, bacause three people, including my son (who lives near the other church), have started following God,  partly through us as we have been going there, so I know that God lead us there, but wonder if we will go long term.
Initially we were going to move over there but that didnt work out.

For us to get more involved in the church(which the church is always pressuring us to do in sermons etc), rather than just going Sunday mornings, would mean going over there in the week also,(for fellowship groups etc), and helping with anything they do in the community, would mean yet more trips to this other place that is in another community, when there are things in our community that probably need doing also.
I cant really get to know any of the women as I dont have a car in the week, as we have only one car, and so cant get to any midweek womens events. Wheras I have lived in my community for 25 years so know a lot of people especially from my 10 years at the local church.

The last thing I will say is there is also an issue of how some of the ladies dress in our new church, which I have been writing about on another thread, as it is one of those 'come as you are' churches where anything seems to go, and this is also making us both wonder if we should continue to go there for very much longer, because despite the fact that we did say something to one of the leaders, who agrees that it is a problem, it seems that little will be done, and I cant see anything changing in that area.

My husband agrees with much of what I said, he is very easy going and I think would be happy with wherever we went, but I really want to know the right place for us where God wants us to go long term, but cant really hear what He is saying. My feeling is that we will carry on till next spring and take stock then.

Do you think it is ok to go to a church on Sunday, but not to have to get involved in anything else there the rest of the week?Or should we get more involed in the church life?Are we really being a part of the family if we only see them for a couple of hours on Sunday morning?
Sorry for all the questions but as you may be able to tell it is on my mind a lot at the moment..
 

[WileyClarkson]

Chosenone,

Sorry for all the questions but as you may be able to tell it is on my mind a lot at the moment..

Do you think it is ok to go to a church on Sunday, but not to have to get involved in anything else there the rest of the week?Or should we get more involed in the church life?  Are we really being a part of the family if we only see them for a couple of hours on Sunday morning?

As far as the church itself goes, there has been a purpose in us going there, bacause three people, including my son (who lives near the other church), have started following God,  partly through us as we have been going there, so I know that God lead us there, but wonder if we will go long term.............

For us to get more involved in the church(which the church is always pressuring us to do in sermons etc), rather than just going Sunday mornings, would mean going over there in the week also,(for fellowship groups etc), and helping with anything they do in the community, would mean yet more trips to this other place that is in another community, when there are things in our community that probably need doing also.
I cant really get to know any of the women as I dont have a car in the week, as we have only one car, and so cant get to any midweek womens events. Wheras I have lived in my community for 25 years so know a lot of people especially from my 10 years at the local church.

Don't be sorry for having questions and seeking answers.  We are all here for that very reason at one time or another and on this forum, the chances are that at any given time there is at least one (probably alot more!) who either stands or has stood in the mocassins you are walking in.

Yes, it is OK and if anyone tells you other wise, don't listen to them.  It seems to me from what you have said that the real reason God wants you there right now is your son and two others and that is very important!  If the minister is preaching that you "must" become involved in their acitvities to be a real Christian or to be a real member, or trying toshame people into coming, then he ispreaching something that is not in Scripture.  If the elders are trying to do the same thing through announcements, etc, then I don't believe they are doing the spiritual shepherding they are tasked to do by the congregation and God.

My wife and I are Church of Christ and there has been this almost overriding view in many of our fellowship's congregations for many years that if you are not there everytime the doors open you have "one foot in the door" of being a sinner.  My wife and I are exactly in that same position you are in just on a slightly different path.  Our jobs and the distances we drive are very prohibitive to attending on Sunday evening worship, small group meetings, and Wednesday evening Bible study, making us what some narrow minded people would call "Sunday only Christians".  That is a terrible form of "gossip" about people in this position because those doing the gossiping (and I have heard elders and ministers do this) when the gossipers haven't even taken the time to get to know the members they are gossipping about!

I am an armed nuclear security officer at a nuclear power plant.   My job is a 24 hr a day, 7 day a week job and it is what is referred to as a "critical position" job because of the dangers that exist to the public if a terriorist (which in reality can be just a plant employee who has been on the most trusted list for 20 years) who has flipped out because they have gone into major financial problems or a divorce has caused extreme mental stress causes a radioactive release.  My wife works for the same facility as an administrative assistant.  I have worked shift work that varies from 8 to 12 hours a day 4 to 5 evenings a week with rotating days off (many times only one day off) for 25 years and Linda normally works (4) 10.5 hour days from 0630 hrs to 1700 hrs Monday - Thursday.  She gets up at 0400 hrs every morning to leave the house ot 0545 hrs for work and she gets off work at 1700 hrs that evening and byt the time she gets through the traffic, she gets home about 1745 to 1755 hrs.  We live in a deep rural area with an average of 13 miles between surrounding towns and 35 miles to the town where the church is located.  The plant is located 23 miles from my house (the church is another 12 miles on the same road!) which puts her in the car 25 to 30 minutes each way (me too!).  I work three different shifts with rotating days off.  I have only one Wed evening off every 6 weeks and only 2 Sunday evenings off every 6 weeks (if I don't work on of my days off!).  My work hours can be one of three combinations (plus add the same prep times and off times in the vehicle):  1100 hrs to 2330 hrs, 1500 hrs to 2330 hrs, 1500 hrs to 0330 hrs.  She goes to bed at night normally around 2030 to 2100 hrs.  BTW, gas is an average of $.25 to .30 dollars higher in our towns than in the town where our home congregation is located and there is no congregation in our closest townd (2 miles from our house to the city limits!).

Our congregation has two morning worship services:  0815 hrs (early worship which we attend), Bible classes at 0930 hrs, and a 1045 hrs whe we sometimes have to attend also for reasons I'll explain in a minute.  Since I work on Sundays 4 Sundays out of 6 if I don't work one of my days off, it is easier for us to get up early, drive the almost 35 miles (depending on routing) and attend the early service.  After the service we are in either a Bible class or we are teaching a Bible class.  We teach 2nd grade children six months out of the year and my wife is the curriculeum cordinator for the class.

Now how about the rest of the time we are not there.  When we placed our membership with this congregation of 850 to 900 members, I was put in charge of the official church web site (which we did not have and I designed and implemented in my off time), I was put in charge of developing our first church office computer network, and I became the "unofficial" Sunday Morning and special events (when available) church photographer.  Try doing all of that on just a Sunday morning and Wed evening.  My wife and I were asked to teach the 2nd grade within about 4 months of placing our membership.  In her "off" time, she took the curriculeum, which was a published curriculeum and wrote Power Point data files putting the 6 months we teach into a computer files that she uses to teach 2nd graders.  She designed competitive games, adapted Bible stories to computer graphic images, designed a lot of her own learning craft activities for the kids, researched available software, and menay more things that had never been done in the children's classes before.  I built and maintain a computer system for the classroom with a large screen monitor for the kids.  She reviews her curriculeum every so often while I, after of 6 years as the web site administrator, have managed to shift the majority of the web site work over to the church office workers as the web site evolved.  Now add to that list of things we do in our free time the fact that I am a moderator on this forum.  Do we really need to make excuses or worry about not being there every time the doors of the church building open?  How do you spend your off time (between Sundays)?  When you break down the time between Sunday mornings, you will find that you are not a Sunday only Christian.  You will find you are a 24 hr a day, 7 day a week Christian who is not in a position to be there at the building every time the doors open.

The in a nut shell answer to your questions is this:  You have to be the final judge of your Christian walk and you should not feel guilty about not being there if you are not able to be there because of factors that cannot be changed.

I hope how my wife and I look at this issue has helped you.  I think I know how you feel because we have been there also, had some of the same questions, and found our own answers.  When something IS said by the eldership regarding attendance (which is very rare), we just look at it as an N/A statement on their parts 

[chosenone]

Wiley clarkson
Thank you so much for your long reply and for taking the time to do this.
You and your wife do a lot for your church, despite the fact that you can only go on Sundays. At the moment we do very little but our lives are busy generally.
My husband works at home, and I dont work at the moment, but there are 4 adults in the hvert small house ( two of my young adult kids live with us) so there is always something going on and plenty of work for me to to do.
I have another daughter, and my husband has 2 young adult sons from his first marriage and we try to see them all once a month or so if we can.
When I went to my local church for ten years, stopping 11 years ago, I was involved in lots of things such as going to a house group midweek, helping in the creche, running the coffee rota for church, running the book stall and other things, and this was while I was bringing up 3 small children, my then husband worked nearly every weekend, I and my children had a lot of illness, (2 of my children had very bad asthma)I had depression and it all got too much, so that eventually I had severe depression and a nervous breakdown.
I have always said that the moto of that church was 'exhaustion is next to Godliness'. I used to go to church feeling bad and condemned and come out feeling even more condemned, but as a new Christian, I just wanted to be 'good' and do what I saw others doing.The most 'spiritual' ones were considered to be those who did the most jobs and wennt to the most meetings etc etc
I had to stop going them as I was too ill for a long time and never went back.

God used those ten years away from church to teach me so much about Him, and about what being a Christian really means, and during this time I gradually healed and recovered, even though during this time I had a very sudden and traumatic marriage breakup, and other bad things happened.

Well, ff to today. Three years ago i married the man of my dreams, and he was also having a break from church because his wife was divorcing him and had found someone else (it didnt last), and the church he was attending didnt approve of divorce even though it wasnt his fault, and wasnt what he wanted. 
!8 months ago, we started the new church as I said in my post. I didnt feel I could go to the local church again because of past memories although the people there are lovely and I still see some of them.

So now, I am beginning the slight guilt trip again that helped to get me into trouble before and I dont want it to get worse, although I am in a VERY different place from last time, as the depression has gone and I am healthier and better in myself, and also the kids are all adults now.

The church does not actually say that you HAVE have to do anything, but there is a constant implication that you really SHOULD belong to a midweek group, that you SHOULD help on this team or that team or get involved with other things, and those who do a lot are often mentioned and commended in front of the congregation. (This making others who dont feel guilty I guess).
With my background this serves to bring on slight guilt, as it is designed to I suppose, and sometimes I come away feeling slightly condemned as if I am not being who I should be, and I wonder if I really want to keep going there if this is going to happen.
My husband say not to worry about it, and it doesnt make him feel guilty at all, but we are all different arent we.

All I feel God saying to me is that He wants me to get closer to Him and send more time with Him in quietness sitting at HIs feet, and I know that my first ministry is to be a wife and mother, and I love doing this.I know that I have also more healing yet, and we go to events at a Christian teaching and healing place called Ellel ministries which is brilliant(I am from the UK)
How can I keep going to this church without the guilt? That is the question really. even though I know rationally that I shouldnt take any notice of what is said, its hard to go and not allow it to have some effect. It has made me remember why I didnt go any where to church for so long.
I am also getitng slightly fed up with  the immodesty issue that I feel nothing is going to be done about, so this isnt helping.

Sorry for another such long post. Thank you for allowing me the space to get these concerns in the open and get some thoughts from different perspectives.

God Bless

[kensington]

I am part of Christ's one church, and I don't go to any church, I am a part of the church.

Though, I am currently looking for a new Christian family as I just moved.

WOW... some local body is about to get a gift!  Aaaay?   

[WileyClarkson]

Chosenone,

The church does not actually say that you HAVE have to do anything, but there is a constant implication that you really SHOULD belong to a midweek group, that you SHOULD help on this team or that team or get involved with other things, and those who do a lot are often mentioned and commended in front of the congregation. (This making others who dont feel guilty I guess).
With my background this serves to bring on slight guilt, as it is designed to I suppose, and sometimes I come away feeling slightly condemned as if I am not being who I should be, and I wonder if I really want to keep going there if this is going to happen.
My husband say not to worry about it, and it doesnt make him feel guilty at all, but we are all different arent we.
 

Your husband is correct.  Listen to him.  We all have to respond according to what our faith directs us to do.  Some people have a whole lot of quiet faith, attending one time a week, while others faith takes them into doing alot and being there ever time the doors open.  Remember, we are not saved by works.  We are save by grace through faith by God and the blood of Christ.  If the church leaders are using subtle pressure to try to make those who cannot be there feel guilty, then, IMO, they should not.  Personal recognition for time given to those who do the ministries is OK and is needed by some.  However, I personally have a lot more respect for those who do what they can without seeking to be "important" or to recognized publically.

I think you are needed for those you mentioned and that is very important.  Relax and enjoy the fellowship when you can and don't worry about what others think.  They don't see your heart--God does.  That is what is important.  It's not what you do or how many times you enter doors, it is the condition of your heart when you are in worship that is important, whether it is one time a week or three or more times a week.  If one is there to be counted as being there when the doors open, then that one is there for the wrong reason!

[Bon Voyage]

Chosenone,

The church does not actually say that you HAVE have to do anything, but there is a constant implication that you really SHOULD belong to a midweek group, that you SHOULD help on this team or that team or get involved with other things, and those who do a lot are often mentioned and commended in front of the congregation. (This making others who dont feel guilty I guess).
With my background this serves to bring on slight guilt, as it is designed to I suppose, and sometimes I come away feeling slightly condemned as if I am not being who I should be, and I wonder if I really want to keep going there if this is going to happen.
My husband say not to worry about it, and it doesnt make him feel guilty at all, but we are all different arent we.
 

Your husband is correct.  Listen to him.  We all have to respond according to what our faith directs us to do.  Some people have a whole lot of quiet faith, attending one time a week, while others faith takes them into doing alot and being there ever time the doors open.  Remember, we are not saved by works.  We are save by grace through faith by God and the blood of Christ.  If the church leaders are using subtle pressure to try to make those who cannot be there feel guilty, then, IMO, they should not.  Personal recognition for time given to those who do the ministries is OK and is needed by some.  However, I personally have a lot more respect for those who do what they can without seeking to be "important" or to recognized publically.

I think you are needed for those you mentioned and that is very important.  Relax and enjoy the fellowship when you can and don't worry about what others think.  They don't see your heart--God does.  That is what is important.  It's not what you do or how many times you enter doors, it is the condition of your heart when you are in worship that is important, whether it is one time a week or three or more times a week.  If one is there to be counted as being there when the doors open, then that one is there for the wrong reason!

Focus on attendance and doors and buildings and services continues to drill the idea home to me that our idea of church is pretty messed up.

[WileyClarkson]

Focus on attendance and doors and buildings and services continues to drill the idea home to me that our idea of church is pretty messed up. 

[Jaime]

I met a man the other day at our church and he drives about 100 miles one way from Ozona, Tx to Midland, Tx to attend our congregation each week. I am greatful to attend a congregation where people are breaking their neck to get to. It makes me feel guilty when I miss.

[WileyClarkson]

Chosenone,

I am also getitng slightly fed up with  the immodesty issue that I feel nothing is going to be done about, so this isnt helping.

You really haven't said just what level you are viewing the modesty issue at.  IOW, what is your base line for dressing for worship that you start dissaproving at?  Our congregation is pretty much a "come as you are dressed" type of congregation.  However, there is a "within limits" type of "come as you are dressed"!  Explicitly sexual dress would get an immediate response from the elders (we have 13 of them split evenly between the services) and would be handled rather quickly.  However, a woman could wear shorts and a blouse to worship as long as they fully cover the appropriate areas so that they do not present an image of "an alley cat in heat" that could also cause someone else to stumble.  The same goes for a male who would dress like an "tom cat on the prowl". I'm sure you catch my drift.  If a stranger needing help or someone who just doesn't have anything better comes into the worship for the first time wearing clothes that would be considered for donation to the rag companies by most of us, we have an elder who "down dresses" on purpose so he can greet them without making them feel "out classed".  That elder usually shows up in jeans, a everyday shirt, and a pair of sockless sandels or those newer style rubber beach shoes.  As I said, we pretty much cover the field in dress as long as it is morally acceptable.  I usually wear a polo shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes for the same reason.  Most men my age are more "suite or slacks/shirt/tie/jacket" types.

[Jimbob]

A part of me believes strongly that whenever we can, we should be part of a congregation where we live.  It's far easier to be involved and to build each other up when we're closer together logistically, and we have far greater impact on our community for Christ.  When that's possible, that's best.  That said, I think that's the ideal and as we all know, this world is not always ideal.  I see this as being kind of like choosing a Bible translation--ultimately the best is the one you read.  Congregationally speaking, the best is the one in which you will serve and glorify God, and build up and be built up by faithful brothers and sisters in Christ, and for some folks, for some reasons, that can be the congregation a little further down the road. 

It's not a clear cut thing, but a good, better, best wisdom thing.

[mike]

 

 Explicitly sexual dress would get an immediate response from the elders (we have 13 of them split evenly between the services) and would be handled rather quickly.  

Now that's quite a trick! It would be tough to be that divided elder. 

[Just As I Am]

I met a man the other day at our church and he drives about 100 miles one way from Ozona, Tx to Midland, Tx to attend our congregation each week. I am greatful to attend a congregation where people are breaking their neck to get to. It makes me feel guilty when I miss.

We drive an hour each way, each week, plus mid week and other events.

[chosenone]

Chosenone,

I am also getitng slightly fed up with  the immodesty issue that I feel nothing is going to be done about, so this isnt helping.

You really haven't said just what level you are viewing the modesty issue at.  IOW, what is your base line for dressing for worship that you start dissaproving at?  Our congregation is pretty much a "come as you are dressed" type of congregation.  However, there is a "within limits" type of "come as you are dressed"!  Explicitly sexual dress would get an immediate response from the elders (we have 13 of them split evenly between the services) and would be handled rather quickly.  However, a woman could wear shorts and a blouse to worship as long as they fully cover the appropriate areas so that they do not present an image of "an alley cat in heat" that could also cause someone else to stumble.  The same goes for a male who would dress like an "tom cat on the prowl". I'm sure you catch my drift.  If a stranger needing help or someone who just doesn't have anything better comes into the worship for the first time wearing clothes that would be considered for donation to the rag companies by most of us, we have an elder who "down dresses" on purpose so he can greet them without making them feel "out classed".  That elder usually shows up in jeans, a everyday shirt, and a pair of sockless sandels or those newer style rubber beach shoes.  As I said, we pretty much cover the field in dress as long as it is morally acceptable.  I usually wear a polo shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes for the same reason.  Most men my age are more "suite or slacks/shirt/tie/jacket" types.

Wiley clarkson
Thank you for your replies. The modesty issue is one I havent come accross before in other churches.
There are a few young ones who dress very immodestly, one is particular always wears very low cut tops, and in the warmer months always wears very short skirts/dresses,often halter neck ones. Others arent quite so regular in this but some do wear this type of thing every now and again. Also many older ladies wear low cut tops showing quite a lot of clevage, and when they bend down eg to get some thing from their chair or the floor, nothing much is left to the imagination. Some of the older ladies also sometimes wear short skirts/dresses, and off the shoulder type tops and very often very tight tops.
We have mentioned it to the leaders and they do agree that with this one girl in particular it is an issue, and apparently the youth leader is going to do a bit of teaching about it, which apperently they did last year, but nothing seemed to change then, so I dont know if any thing will be this time. Also, that wont change anything with any of the adult ladies. Apparently there wont be any teaching from the pastor about it from the front. (I think that is a cop out)Also no one will speak to them individually.
I think that they are too worried about offending anyone or potentially opening a can of worms.

I do think though, that most in our church seem to accept the fact that a lot of ladies show some cleavage, which of course is very accepted in the world, but arent we supposed to be different and not to be like the world?
How can you tell the men that they musn't lust etc and to resist sexual temptation when you allow ladies to dress in a very provocative way at church, when all attention should be on God?.
Its a bit like telling someone with a drink problem not to drink and then putting a glass of beer in front of him and telling hom that he shouldnt touch it. That would be extreemly cruel, and the fear of upsetting these ladies is allowing others to struggle with something that in church at least they shouldnt have to do.

It is something that we would potentially leave about, but not yet, as my son likes it there are we wouldnt leave until he is more at home there. I felt God said to me to 'bide your time'.
I am no prude, I like to look  feminine, and my husband and I have 5 children between us aged between 21 and 30 so we have seen all sorts of dress etc, but even my non Christian daughter doesnt dress like these ladies do. I agree that if someone new comes in thet is a differeret issue, and we have absolutely no problems with anyone wearing scruffy clothes or ole clothes, but it is the modesty that is our concern.  However these are Christian ladies, and it is very strange to see some of them lifting their hands to worship when their tops look in danger of falling down and their skirts are far too short..The young ones families go to church so their parents seem to think it is ok I guess.

[chosenone]

A part of me believes strongly that whenever we can, we should be part of a congregation where we live.  It's far easier to be involved and to build each other up when we're closer together logistically, and we have far greater impact on our community for Christ.  When that's possible, that's best.  That said, I think that's the ideal and as we all know, this world is not always ideal.  I see this as being kind of like choosing a Bible translation--ultimately the best is the one you read.  Congregationally speaking, the best is the one in which you will serve and glorify God, and build up and be built up by faithful brothers and sisters in Christ, and for some folks, for some reasons, that can be the congregation a little further down the road. 

It's not a clear cut thing, but a good, better, best wisdom thing.

Thanks that is a very good post

[chosenone]

I met a man the other day at our church and he drives about 100 miles one way from Ozona, Tx to Midland, Tx to attend our congregation each week. I am greatful to attend a congregation where people are breaking their neck to get to. It makes me feel guilty when I miss.

We drive an hour each way, each week, plus mid week and other events.

Thats is quite some distance, but I think that is more common where you live in the US to drive that far than it is in the UK as we do. I dont think many here would go more than about 15 to 20 miles max. of course our roads tend to be much busier and our petrol prices are about 3 times what yours are, so for us to drive an hour each way 2 or 3 times a week would cost an absolute fortune!

however, even if you only go to a church maybe 10 or 15 miles away, here it would still be in another community from yours, and I wonder if it would help our local community to be working among those we live around. 

[WileyClarkson]

Quote from: WileyClarkson on Yesterday at 19:53:54
Explicitly sexual dress would get an immediate response from the elders (we have 13 of them split evenly between the services) and would be handled rather quickly. 
 

Now that's quite a trick! It would be tough to be that divided elder. 

 

Well, you know how modern math works with sets and sub sets and the intersection of the sets, and then there is that old 2+2=5 that my math teacher proved is possible   

seriously, we have several who always attend BOTH services so the half is pretty much accurate at about an average of 7 in each service 

[p.progress]

We have a local church that I went to for 10 years. for reasons I wont go into I left there and went no where for the next ten years.
!8 months ago, my now husband and I started going to a different church 15 miles away, which we prefer, but I would really rather go to a church that is in my community rather than one that is in a community that I dont know, and to be able to reach out through the church to those who live round me rather than to those who dont live anywhere near us.
What do others think?

Think of it this way:
Image you are way out in the country. There is no house (neighbor) within three miles of yours, and the next neighbor is four and a-half miles away (how many kilometers is that). You have at the most only one-hundred and ten neighbors scattered about you within a radius of fifteen miles, but every last one of them is an unbeliever. In fact all your neighbors within twenty-five miles are either confirmed unbelievers; or else profess to know God, but their lives show nothing to convince you that they are serious in their confession. That is, they speak and do and apparently 'think' just as the world does in everything - save they claim that they believe in God and they 'go to church' every Sunday...religiously...that is their habit since birth.

Now you on the other hand are serious about your relationship to God. You love him and love the brethren and desire to call upon the Lord out of a pure heart, and walk in the fear of the Lord with others that are like-minded and "of like precious faith". So you cannot fathom at all assembling with those that may profess that they know God, but by their lives they deny he possesses them by their life.

"They profess that they know God; but in works they deny [him], being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate."

So what to do? No believers live within thirty miles of you (as the crow flies), and from fifteen to twenty-five miles, all the so-called 'Churches' therein, are so lukewarm (or apostate), you cannot by any means consider them worthy to assemble with, lest you be corrupted by the leaven that is through the whole lump and bunch of them. You have met two truly godly families, three single individuals and one elderly couple, and then two widows and a widower just outside this twenty-five mile distance from your home. You tell me: Is it worth it to travel this distance to meet with them? of course it is, but there is the reality of the price of fuel (petrol)...can you actually afford to travel that distance each week or twice a week? It would be wonderfal of course and much easier in practical terms to meet with others who are 'local' to you - but that is not at all possible given the scenario I laid out before us here.

All this to say that even though there are numerous places that call themselves 'Churchs' within the fifteen or so miles of your home; unless you find that one of them is faithful to maintain the kind of health and purity and watchfulness and joy and peace in the Holy Spirit, that is expected by Christ and outlined in the letters of the apostles, you would be better off perhaps to either travel the distance to meet with godly believers that encourage and edify you in the things of God, or else move closer to these folks, or else just fellowship with Christ alone at home - while being ready and actively blessing your neighbors with the Light of God (Christ and his truth)...praying and waiting for the Lord to bring along at least one other serious fellow believer to meet with in yours or their home.

Afterall, where did the believers begin to meet in the begiing after they were no longer welcome in the temple and synagogues? Even while they were meeting therein...in their homes!

[HRoberson]

We have a local church that I went to for 10 years. for reasons I wont go into I left there and went no where for the next ten years.
!8 months ago, my now husband and I started going to a different church 15 miles away, which we prefer, but I would really rather go to a church that is in my community rather than one that is in a community that I dont know, and to be able to reach out through the church to those who live round me rather than to those who dont live anywhere near us.
What do others think?

My preference would be to work in a congregation that actually used the parish concept, and that had members that understood the parish concept so that those that lived near a congregation would attend that congregation.

There are reasons for not doing so, however. We currently attend a congregation that we began attending twelve years ago when we moved here. At the time, we lived in a different part of town, the youth group (we had five kids at home) was vibrant, and the congregation's view of life was acceptable. When we moved across town, we continued to attend with that group of Christians.

If we had moved directly to this part of town, we may or may not have begun meeting with that congregation. I'm not sure that my being spiritually filled is the necessary consideration, but rather, where can I let God use me seems paramount. I am clearly too liberal for some and so attempting to make a connection in those places seems rather silly.

I approach church not as an opportunity to always have what I want, but rather as a group of fellow Christians to whom I attempt to bond and embed myself. We go through ups and downs together not because those are always pleasant, but because we have committed ourselves to those people - not the preacher, not the denomination, not that congregation as a legal entity, but to those people.

[stevehut]

I say sound doctrine and spiritual nourishment are far more important than the convenience of a church on the corner. 

[Just As I Am]

I met a man the other day at our church and he drives about 100 miles one way from Ozona, Tx to Midland, Tx to attend our congregation each week. I am greatful to attend a congregation where people are breaking their neck to get to. It makes me feel guilty when I miss.

We drive an hour each way, each week, plus mid week and other events.

Thats is quite some distance, but I think that is more common where you live in the US to drive that far than it is in the UK as we do. I dont think many here would go more than about 15 to 20 miles max. of course our roads tend to be much busier and our petrol prices are about 3 times what yours are, so for us to drive an hour each way 2 or 3 times a week would cost an absolute fortune!

however, even if you only go to a church maybe 10 or 15 miles away, here it would still be in another community from yours, and I wonder if it would help our local community to be working among those we live around. 

The distance has taken it's toll on us as being connected in fellowship is extremely important to us. From what I've learned many in New England travel such distance's but at great cost in some sense to their families. If we were in the south, there are so many choices, istm, we'd be able to travel much closer indeed. It is very expensive to commute and we figure it another way we give to the Lord. We can't continue at this rate however.

[stevehut]

It is very expensive to commute and we figure it another way we give to the Lord. We can't continue at this rate however.

Could you move closer to the church?

[Bon Voyage]

It is very expensive to commute and we figure it another way we give to the Lord. We can't continue at this rate however.

Could you move closer to the church?

Is the church the people or a location?

[stevehut]

Is the church the people or a location?

A pox on me, Gary.  *duh*

The fellowship of the believers, wherever they might be.

[p.progress]

I say sound doctrine and spiritual nourishment are far more important than the convenience of a church on the corner. 

Yes, I have to amen you here Steve.

And no matter what one may think and call "sound doctrine" and 'spiritual nurishment' at this point in their life; for one to compromise this, for the sake of 'going to ' a so-called 'church', that is functionally (and that means spiritually) either equal to or even little more than that of the assemblies Christ wrote to (through Johm) at Sardis, or Thyatira, or Pergamos, or Ephesus, especially the assembly of the Laodicians who dwelt in Laodicia, I would say travel the distance to assemble with those of like precious faith and hold to "sound doctrine" (i.e. wholesome truth and those who are pursuing peace and holiness, growing in godliness), rather than those who dismiss such things as 'radical', and whose lives reflect this (i.e. living contrary to sound doctrine).

But I hasten to add that I would then ONLY travel this distance either every other weekend or else every third weekend to spend time with those an hour or two away.

AND I would also add, that on the other weekends...contrary to the proveyors of misguided and inappropriate 'guilt' that would seek to condemn the conscience of another man to do otherwise...I would recommend the head of the household (the husband and father) - instead of 'trying' to find 'a place' to 'go to' ('Church' wise) every weekend, that he just simply 'go out' and 'go off'! Go out and off somewhere with the wife of thy youth and the godly seed God has graciously given to you and her to raise; to reaise to respect, appreciate and love both you and Him.

As a man, as the husband and father, recognise the dangers of overmuch exposure to the unscriptural 'religious things' that by nature creep into any assembly of people that do not take the time to as I would apply the words of Christ to his beleagered disciples: 'Come away, and rest awhile' ("Come ye yourselves apart...and rest a while").

Nurish up your wife and children with some very needed R & R from it ALL...from work, from school, from chores, from routine - even the 'work'-'school'-'chores' of and real routine of 'going to Church'. This is something that very few take into account, but which is not healthy to 'take a break from' as well, to be refreshed.

Minister, feed, nurture, invest in your wife and children! They are your little flock! You are the high-priest of your household under Christ, so show them that you love them and wish to be with them; that you are wise and desire to take seriously the relationships you all have together! Enjoy your life in Christ and do it with and for their benefit!

Let not fear rule your hearts or misplaced guilt. While it is true that those of your own household can rise up to both separate from you and even betray you and despise you. How much so will such think they have some 'right' to do so  - and in certain ways be right to think so - for failing to invest in them the necessary time and energy that they required to develop healthy relationships with you and your wife - their mother. Look at how many families are washing out among Evangelicals. Why do you think this is occuring? Think.

Too long here perhaps, and seemingly 'off point' in the eyes of some perhaps as well. But I can asure you that it is better to



I do not know if any of you remember about JonesTown, Jim Jones and his blind devotees, who perished after drinking the infamous 'Kool-Aid' or were shoot by Jones's men for either refusing to go that far or were shoot trying to run away after being 'asked' to drink his concoction (they woke up too, too late to save themselves or their loved ones). My only point here - and it is applicable in all scenarios, is that the only people that had been able to escape with their lives from that massacre were those who had fles or left Jones BEFOREHAND. And the testimony of at least one couple who had escaped this fate, was that they had 'snuck away' from time to time, to go off and just be together and by themselves apart from the 'group' (Jone's 'Church'). To do so was to be in 'disobedience to' the 'Church rules', and they felt the guilt of violating those rules - but thank God for their sakes, they endured the 'guilt', to 'disobey' those 'rules'. It made all the difference in the world, to help them to maintain some symblance of balance and continuity in their lives as husband and wife. They were then over time, able to discern the warped notions they had been so blindly following beforehand. And as it is in many cases, God (I believe cause he doesn't will that any should perish) orchestrated certain events that jarred them into a level of reality that in turn opened their eyes even further to see that Jim Jones and following him was not profitable to say the least.


My point is not to intimate that all 'churches' in all professing sects of Christiendom are a cult, or cult-like, as Jim Jones group was or the J.W's or Mormons are. NO. But only to take the lessons to be learned from those who escaped Jones and other cultists and cults, and not allow yourself to become cult-like even in the least with respect to the Ekklesia of God.

Any form or habit or routine that goes on 'auto-pilot' so to speak, and where one is not alert to the real reality that is slipping away from them, via the illusion of reality that takes its place through monotonous routine...any kind of this is not healthy or wise to let go unchecked.

So to end this, I say travel for what is worthy, and where you will find true fellowship among other brethren that fear and love God and love other saints. But don't do so every weekend without taking a 'break' from the routine. I would say this even if your assembly was only two miles away - at least occasional. But on the other weekneds, go off together! Pray that wherever you go, God will do something marvelous, in that he will bring you in contact (if that be his will) with others that either love him who may be traveling or such, or those who are seeking for God, but will not 'go to church' to do so. I am more than confident he will answer such a prayer...it has been our own experience numerous times. Look how even Christ when he called his disciples to 'Come away for awhile",    



"And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat. And they departed into a desert place by ship privately. And the people saw them departing, and many knew him, and ran afoot thither out of all cities, and outwent them, and came together unto him. And Jesus, when he came out, saw much people, and was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and he began to teach them many things.
And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat." [Mar 6:30-34]