Reasons for Singleness

[+Jonathan+]

As the truth goes, it is not God's will for everyone to be married. Some people remain single in order to have more time to focus on the work of God's kingdom, as my New Living Translation Bible states at Matthew 19:12. I'm currently eighteen years old, not once have I dated, and this is fine by me in every way. I'm waiting for the right person in my life, and I'm in no rush to search for other Christian singles. I could start searching now, but I don't feel ready for the commitment of a relationship, so I've had no interest in going on dates. Even if any of you feel lonely or can't find a significant other in your life, remember what God's will is. Sometimes it's not always what you want that God wants for you. If God chooses any of you to remain single, honor His decision and I hope this inspires you to the best of your ability.

[Jon-Marc]

Of course, you can date without making a commitment to a relationship. However, at my age (62), I've been married and divorced. If you don't feel any rush to be in a relationship, then by all means don't let anyone tell you otherwise (except God). I rushed into a loveless marriage because of my dad's accusations that I was homosexual. I didn't have the courage to tell him that I didn't believe in having sex with someone to whom I wasn't married--nor was I interested in doing so.

Too many people have the mistaken idea that "normal" people have sex--whether they're married or not, and if you don't then you're not normal. I've learned that I should have stayed single, and that is just what I will do now. Yes, it gets lonely at times, but I think it's better than being in a relationship that sucks. Being abstinent is not an impossibility--even for a young person--when one's attention is on pleasing Christ and not on pleasing self.

[+Jonathan+]

What is your opinion on masturbation for single people? As far as I know and from the research I've done, the Bible does not state anything about the act of it.

[chosenone]

Just wondered nintendomaster what the photos at the bottom of your posts are there for?

[kristinaf]

Just wondered nintendomaster what the photos at the bottom of your posts are there for?

Seriously! It's a little bit offensive and risque! 

[chosenone]

Just wondered nintendomaster what the photos at the bottom of your posts are there for?

Seriously! It's a little bit offensive and risque! 

I agree that is why I asked. We had an issue at our church with women being very immodest and this reminded me of that. Of course its up to nintendo master what she puts on this site but just wondered why she needed to put such pictures up?maybe she will say.

[Quinn]

Just wondered nintendomaster what the photos at the bottom of your posts are there for?

Seriously! It's a little bit offensive and risque! 

I agree that is why I asked. We had an issue at our church with women being very immodest and this reminded me of that. Of course its up to nintendo master what she puts on this site but just wondered why she needed to put such pictures up?maybe she will say.

He's a HE.
http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/index.php/topic,31572.0.html

[Wordman]

Just wondered nintendomaster what the photos at the bottom of your posts are there for?

Seriously! It's a little bit offensive and risque! 

I agree that is why I asked. We had an issue at our church with women being very immodest and this reminded me of that. Of course its up to nintendo master what she puts on this site but just wondered why she needed to put such pictures up?maybe she will say.

He's a HE.
http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/index.php/topic,31572.0.html

What are you all talking about?  What's the big deal?  That picture is of a WWE Women's Champion.   

NintendoMaster is just saying he is a Christian Warrior...nothing wrong abuot that.

Besides, Adam and Eve basically walked around naked.   

[chosenone]

Just wondered nintendomaster what the photos at the bottom of your posts are there for?

Seriously! It's a little bit offensive and risque! 

I agree that is why I asked. We had an issue at our church with women being very immodest and this reminded me of that. Of course its up to nintendo master what she puts on this site but just wondered why she needed to put such pictures up?maybe she will say.

He's a HE.
http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/index.php/topic,31572.0.html

What are you all talking about?  What's the big deal?  That picture is of a WWE Women's Champion.  

NintendoMaster is just saying he is a Christian Warrior...nothing wrong abuot that.

Besides, Adam and Eve basically walked around naked.   

Rather a naive answer I think. Does the fact that the picture is of a wwe womens champion make any difference to what she is wearing? Does that make it ok for the women who do this sport to wear clothes that are very immodest?
Think you will find that after the fall Adam and eve wore clothes and arent women told to dress modestly and not to draw attention to themselves?.
ninendomaster can plaster his walls with posters of female wwe champions if he likes, just wodered why he is putting the pictures on a Christian forum that is all.

[Wordman]

Just wondered nintendomaster what the photos at the bottom of your posts are there for?

Seriously! It's a little bit offensive and risque! 

I agree that is why I asked. We had an issue at our church with women being very immodest and this reminded me of that. Of course its up to nintendo master what she puts on this site but just wondered why she needed to put such pictures up?maybe she will say.

He's a HE.
http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/index.php/topic,31572.0.html

What are you all talking about?  What's the big deal?  That picture is of a WWE Women's Champion.  

NintendoMaster is just saying he is a Christian Warrior...nothing wrong abuot that.

Besides, Adam and Eve basically walked around naked.   

Rather a naive answer I think. Does the fact that the picture is of a wwe womens champion make any difference to what she is wearing? Does that make it ok for the women who do this sport to wear clothes that are very immodest?
Think you will find that after the fall Adam and eve wore clothes and arent women told to dress modestly and not to draw attention to themselves?.
ninendomaster can plaster his walls with posters of female wwe champions if he likes, just wodered why he is putting the pictures on a Christian forum that is all.

What are you talking about?  That is standard ring attire.  The guys wear even less.   Would you rather the women wrestlers wear only wrestling trunks, and mma shorts like the guys do?

Maybe NintendoMaster is a huge wrestling fan, and has a banner showing his enthusiasm.

Who am I to judge what is in NintendoMaster's heart.   Thus I will not judge him, or redicule him, or say to myself that my morality is more impeccable because I know more than him what is right and wrong. 

Sheesh, it's like highschool again.....,"Oh look at her skirt, what a !@$!!" Or "Ooohh look at his shoes...hahaha."   "Oooh I am smarter than you."   

Pride = suffering for everyone.

So I will instead say before anyone else can.   "I am the dumbest, stupidest, biggest loser in the world.  I am really nothing but a dumb beast and I am not fit to judge anyone.  Instead I will live my life, follow God's commandments, and let God be the judge."

We all sin, we are all basically dumb beasts trying to judge other dumb beasts....like the blind leading the blind.  So instead, don't even try, since we really don't know what God's plan is for another person's life. 

Thus let God be the judge.   The world is a bloody mess because there are always those who think they know what's best for everybody else.   Instead everyone should take a chill-pill, and simply fear God and follow his commandments. Everything else is meaningless....so live your life...and let another person live theirs.   

You should not call another person naive either. It only shows more pride for one self.

"When pride comes, then comes dishonor,"  "Pride goes before destruction. And a haughty spirit before stumbling." -Proverbs.

  " . . . God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble."  James 4:6

SIGNS OF PRIDE: The need to be right.  More invested in being heard than in hearing.   Lack of submissive attitude.  Needing others to take your advice.  Needing to proclaim your title or degrees.

So once again I will say, "I am the dumbest, stupidest, biggest loser in the world.  I am really nothing but a dumb beast and I am not fit to judge anyone.  Instead I will live my life, follow God's commandments, and let God be the judge."

Say it a couple times everyone, you will feel much better...

Think you will find that after the fall Adam and eve wore clothes and arent women told to dress modestly and not to draw attention to themselves?.

That's true, but that's because of our sin, and now we have to cover up our embarressing sinful-beast bodies.   

But God intended for us to run around nake, but Adam and Eve messed it all up... and now I have to suffer this wedgie caused by...um...nevermind to much information....

[chosenone]

You are entitled to your opinion just as I am entitled to mine. Anyone who tries to talk about women being modest always gets attacked. just because something is 'standard ring attire'in a worldly sport doesnt make it right surely? The very few times in the distant past that I have seen any wrestling the women (whether they are competing or whether they are the girlfriends of the male wrestlers)always dress very provocatively, and you cant deny that this is probably partly why it is popular for some. For people who arent Christians they know no better and we arent to judge them, but what we are told to wear or watch(in the case of Christian men)is clear in the BIble. Women are told to dress modestly whether we like it or not.
I am not judging nintendomaster at all he can do what he likes, it is between him and God, but I just remarked on it becuae it is on a Chriatian forum site . Would it be appropriate for someone to post a picture of themselves in a bikini here?

[chosenone]

nintendomaster, sorry I got your sex wrong! I just assumed that the photo on the left was of you, as many people here have their
own photos there. My mistake.

[wolflet7]

What is your opinion on masturbation for single people? As far as I know and from the research I've done, the Bible does not state anything about the act of it.

You're right.  The Bible does not say a single thing about masturbation.  But, let's take a moment to think about what causes masturbation.  Sexually immorality cause said act.  Sexual immorality IS mentioned in the Bible and it says that it is wrong.  Simply looking at a women lustfully is sexually immoral.  Can a person masturbate without thinking about sexual thoughts?  Does a sexually free person simply masturbate without thinking about sexual thoughts?  No.  If masturbation were a natural thing, such as eating is for everyone, then that's a different story. 

I think you should read a book that has helped me in my spiritual walk.  It's called Every Man's Battle (or Every Young Man's Battle).  You should really check it out.  It might answer your questions a bit further too. 

[+Jonathan+]

Oh yes, wolflet, I was actually given that book by a former pastor because he was discussing with me the same subject. I haven't yet to read the book all the way through, but it goes clearly in stating which acts in marriage strengthen the relationship or weaken it, including sexual behavior.

Anyways, chosenone and kristinaf ... please tell me what's offensive about my signature photo. This is a photo of Michelle McCool. I can't begin to tell you what an inspiration she has been in my life. This is a Christian website, so I think it's so much the better to support people who are also Christians. I love Michelle and I love who she is, so I'm proud to have artwork of her on any Christian website. What is provocative at all about the photo?

[chosenone]

Oh yes, wolflet, I was actually given that book by a former pastor because he was discussing with me the same subject. I haven't yet to read the book all the way through, but it goes clearly in stating which acts in marriage strengthen the relationship or weaken it, including sexual behavior.

Anyways, chosenone and kristinaf ... please tell me what's offensive about my signature photo. This is a photo of Michelle McCool. I can't begin to tell you what an inspiration she has been in my life. This is a Christian website, so I think it's so much the better to support people who are also Christians. I love Michelle and I love who she is, so I'm proud to have artwork of her on any Christian website. What is provocative at all about the photo?

If you dont know then there is no point in me telling you.Would you actually say that she dresses modestly? Would you want your wife/future wife to dress like that in front of many thousands of guys?
I am not sure that a photo is artwork is it?,  I have discovered that just becuase someone is a christian doesnt mean that they will dress in the way that the Bible tells women to dress. We women may not like what The Bible tells us to do but doesnt it seem clear to you what we are to do?
I am sure that she is a lovely person (and I am glad that she is an inspiritation to you),but so is a girl at our church who dresses as if she is going to a nightclub to church, doesnt make it the right thing to do surely. 

[isaiahtwelve]

If you dont know then there is no point in me telling you.Would you actually say that she dresses modestly? Would you want your wife/future wife to dress like that in front of many thousands of guys?
I am not sure that a photo is artwork is it?,  I have discovered that just becuase someone is a christian doesnt mean that they will dress in the way that the Bible tells women to dress. We women may not like what The Bible tells us to do but doesnt it seem clear to you what we are to do?
I am sure that she is a lovely person (and I am glad that she is an inspiritation to you),but so is a girl at our church who dresses as if she is going to a nightclub to church, doesnt make it the right thing to do surely. 

I agree, chosenone.  While she's pretty and all...that kind of outfit is immodest and unbefitting a Christian woman (at least outside her own home).  We, as Christians, are to be in the world but not of it.   

[chosenone]

If you dont know then there is no point in me telling you.Would you actually say that she dresses modestly? Would you want your wife/future wife to dress like that in front of many thousands of guys?
I am not sure that a photo is artwork is it?,  I have discovered that just becuase someone is a christian doesnt mean that they will dress in the way that the Bible tells women to dress. We women may not like what The Bible tells us to do but doesnt it seem clear to you what we are to do?
I am sure that she is a lovely person (and I am glad that she is an inspiritation to you),but so is a girl at our church who dresses as if she is going to a nightclub to church, doesnt make it the right thing to do surely. 

I agree, chosenone.  While she's pretty and all...that kind of outfit is immodest and unbefitting a Christian woman (at least outside her own home).  We, as Christians, are to be in the world but not of it.  

yes I agree, with your own husband anything goes as far as dress is concerned, but in the world Christian women are told to dress modestly for a reason.
Also concerning her attractiveness I once heard a wise Christian teacher say that the more physically attractive you are, the more modestly you should dress. Sadly this always seem to be the opposite in that the more attractive a girl is the more immodestly she dresss, maybe becuase she has learnt that she likes all the attention and to turn mens heads.
I have the utmost respect for very attractive women who dress modestly becuase they clearly have The Holy Spirit in them.Their desire is to please God and not to get worldy attention.

[Wordman]

I disagree somewhat...  Modesty is an ambiguous word.   

It used to be that women that wore pants and not dresses were considered not dressing modestly, and now it's the other way around.

Would you considered native tribes that walk around practically nake that live in southeast asia sinful, or not dressing modestly.  To them, they are dressing modestly.   

In the wrestling world, dressing like that is normal.

Some Muslim women will say American women are not modest because they do not wear veils. 
But to American women, not wearing a veil is normal.

So what should we say than, who is right?  And, who is wrong?   

The answer: No body is wrong, because it is all about perception.

Modesty is a perception of one's own heart, ussually define by one's culture or sub-culture, or even community.   Since modesty is a perception, we cannot solely make assumptions on appearance alone....because we cannot look inside another person's mind, another person's heart.

When we start to make assumptions, that is when the human race gets into trouble.   Fights, wars ...you name it...that's where it all comes from...that's where it all starts.   

We are all different, and we need to be tolerant and understanding....and slow to judge.  Let God do the judging, and we do the "love one another" thing.

You should have the right to say you don't like the picture, but you do not have the right to take it away.      
For: "One person's trash is another's treasure."

Because:

"This is the point, reality is nothing, perception is everything." "The mice think they are right, but my cat eats them

anyways." --Zeddicus Z'ul Zorander

[chosenone]

Just because in the wrestling world dressing like that is normal doesnt make it the right thing to do for a Christian women does it?
Modesty is sometimes cultural as you say but I think that many  people would agree that a Christian women dressing in skimpy clothes, showing off their cleavage, midrif and legs and wearing little in front of thousand of men isnt modest wouldnt they.? if that is considered modest then where do we go from there. maybe going topless?
When Paul wrote about modesty, the women generally dressed very modestly anyway but he still felt the need to tell them to do this. if he was alive today he would probably have a fit if he saw what Christian women wore, and I am sure that he wouldnt mince his words either in telling them off. Just becuase someone does wrestling that doesnt make them exempt from having to obey what The Bible teaches does it? The whole wrestling sport can be quite sexual in nature anyway, and many of the women involved are very immodest and I think that this is  partly why many men are attracted to it. 

[princessofgod]

I think that we, as women, have a responsibility...
And we are not very responsible with our body, when we wear such clothes, doesnt matter where we are in public...and that is not conservative, that is wise ^^
maybe that this is offensive for us, is also a big difference between man and woman...you like how she is looking right!? Sorry, but why should a man watch a woman wrestling....would they also watch it, when she is wearing much more? I dont talk about you guyes^^ but about "all" men....so we, as woman, have the responsiblilty....
and what is with a guy, coming to this forum, he has struggles with pornographie and then seeing this woman!? It is not very helpful for him and so not very nice...

[chosenone]

I think that we, as women, have a responsibility...
And we are not very responsible with our body, when we wear such clothes, doesnt matter where we are in public...and that is not conservative, that is wise ^^
maybe that this is offensive for us, is also a big difference between man and woman...you like how she is looking right!? Sorry, but why should a man watch a woman wrestling....would they also watch it, when she is wearing much more? I dont talk about you guyes^^ but about "all" men....so we, as woman, have the responsiblilty....
and what is with a guy, coming to this forum, he has struggles with pornographie and then seeing this woman!? It is not very helpful for him and so not very nice...

I agree, and I do hate it when women dress very immodestly and say "whats the problem, its the mans responsibility not to look" whle they are actually dressing like that so that men DO look!" As Christian women we do need to do what God tells us, and even if we are tempted to wear something revealing or whatever, we are told not to.Our bodies are not our own anymore but belong to God. We can no longer do what WE want but are suppoased to be trying to please Him. Knowing that, it is up to us whether we obey God or whether we do as the women in the world do, and what we do affects the guys aorund us becuase we can be a help or a hindrance to them in their attempts at living a pure life.
Joyce meyer for example says that when she goes clothes shopping she feels the Holy Spirit telling her if something isnt quite modest enough, and she always dresses very modestly. 
It is a womens responsibility to dress in a  way that is pleasing to God and it is a Christian guys responsibility not to look at things that are immodest and that includes so much of what is on television and in flms these days.
What a Christian witness it would be for that Christian girl who is a wrestler to wear something more modest than the other girls while she wrestles (and she easily could if she really wanted to)although would all the guys be interested in watching her if she did?

[lismore]

Hello There!

Interesting thread.  In 1 Corithians 7 Paul talks a lot about singleness.  In my experience though the church is geared for married people, couples and families.  Single people are the social lepers of th Christian community.

God Bless You

[wolflet7]

I think that we, as women, have a responsibility...
And we are not very responsible with our body, when we wear such clothes, doesnt matter where we are in public...and that is not conservative, that is wise ^^
maybe that this is offensive for us, is also a big difference between man and woman...you like how she is looking right!? Sorry, but why should a man watch a woman wrestling....would they also watch it, when she is wearing much more? I dont talk about you guyes^^ but about "all" men....so we, as woman, have the responsiblilty....
and what is with a guy, coming to this forum, he has struggles with pornographie and then seeing this woman!? It is not very helpful for him and so not very nice...

I agree, and I do hate it when women dress very immodestly and say "whats the problem, its the mans responsibility not to look" whle they are actually dressing like that so that men DO look!" As Christian women we do need to do what God tells us, and even if we are tempted to wear something revealing or whatever, we are told not to.Our bodies are not our own anymore but belong to God. We can no longer do what WE want but are suppoased to be trying to please Him. Knowing that, it is up to us whether we obey God or whether we do as the women in the world do, and what we do affects the guys aorund us becuase we can be a help or a hindrance to them in their attempts at living a pure life.
Joyce meyer for example says that when she goes clothes shopping she feels the Holy Spirit telling her if something isnt quite modest enough, and she always dresses very modestly. 
It is a womens responsibility to dress in a  way that is pleasing to God and it is a Christian guys responsibility not to look at things that are immodest and that includes so much of what is on television and in flms these days.
What a Christian witness it would be for that Christian girl who is a wrestler to wear something more modest than the other girls while she wrestles (and she easily could if she really wanted to)although would all the guys be interested in watching her if she did?

I, as a guy, agree with you 100%.  What if all the women (just an example) were to show at church up naked.  Would all the guys be like, "WHOA!!!  THEY'RE NAKED!!".  It would be undoubtedly noticeable that all the women are naked.  It's not our fault, as guys, that we should not look.  That is 50% of the deal, we should control ourselves but it is also the other 50% of the responsibility for the girls to dress modestly to not tempt us guys.