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This is my first date

Started by sillly16, Tue Dec 23, 2008 - 12:07:17

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sillly16

Its my first date. I have alot of questions. I need some Christian advice. Here are a few:
1. Im afraid he might move to fast, what should I do?
2. What should I wear?
3. We are going to a movie. Should we meet somewhere before to talk?

any other tips are good too. Thanks.

EDIT BY ADMIN Silly also said in another post:

On Sunday I have my first date EVER!! I have no idea how to act. I need some Christian advice. Here sre a few questions off the top of my head.
1. Im white, he's black. I dont care but it seems like others might. How do I handle that?
2. Im worried he might want to move to fast. Im not even sure I like him romantically yet. I agreed to "get to know him" first. How do I know what to do if things start picking up speed?
3.  What do I wear?
4. We are going to a movie. Should we meeet somewhere to talk beforehand? I am trying to get to know him but I dont know if I will know what to say.

Any other tips are great too. Thanks

leeford

Silly16,

Wow girl. You're afraid he'll move too fast? I know what you mean by that, but be careful not to sound arrogant. I'm sure you're good looking, but I betcha he can control himself just as much as you.

Wear something you think looks attractive. Wear your favorite top and your favorite dress/skirt/pants. I bet you have a good idea of what flatters you.

I think meeting somewhere to talk is a great idea. Somewhere casual. Maybe the cliche' coffee shop. Think ahead of stuff to talk about: interesting things that have happened to you, interesting news stories, questions about him (his job, interesting travels, where he's from, what he wants to do with his career, his hobbies, when he got into his favorite hobby, etc.).

Then, go to the movie and enjoy. :)

fanuvmxpx

Quote from: sillly16 on Tue Dec 23, 2008 - 12:07:17
Its my first date. I have alot of questions. I need some Christian advice. Here are a few:
1. Im afraid he might move to fast, what should I do? give him boundaries at the get go
2. What should I wear? something your comfortable in, be yourself
3. We are going to a movie. Should we meet somewhere before to talk? can't hurt, plus you never get to talk much in movies now with the "20", previews, crowds, etc.

any other tips are good too. Thanks.

EDIT BY ADMIN Silly also said in another post:

On Sunday I have my first date EVER!! I have no idea how to act. I need some Christian advice. Here sre a few questions off the top of my head.
1. Im white, he's black. I dont care but it seems like others might. How do I handle that? don't care what others think, live your own life
2. Im worried he might want to move to fast. Im not even sure I like him romantically yet. I agreed to "get to know him" first. How do I know what to do if things start picking up speed? say slow down, set up boundaries, say no, say stop, if he cannot respect you, no point in pursuing the relationship

Any other tips are great too. Thanks

I cannot stress it enough. Be yourself. Try to relax & establish a friendship. Try to find common grounds for talking & possibly hobbies. This is coming from a married man with about 10 years of dating history prior to marriage.

Nothing is more shocking/relationship ending than being with someone who is fake (act like someone and aren't really that way). Have a good time, be confident in yourself (and your boundaries), say no if needed, enjoy the movie :)

kristinaf

My advice for keeping him from going too fast:  say no! Firmly!  Don't go back to his apartment or be alone with him in a non-public place, too risky and possible for one thing to lead to another.  Give him one quick kiss, don't make out with him or he could get the wrong idea that you want to go further, and this will just tease him if you make out with him.  It's too easy for that to turn into something else.  Remember, as Christians, we are obligated to follow a no-sex before marriage rule.  At least I am.  I have made mistakes in my past, and have had sex, but now I am committed to wait for marriage.  Too much heartache when you become intimate with a person and then they dump you !!!!  Just be careful girl.  Sorry to be so serious.  You might have fun and really like the guy.  One other thing.  You could be honest with him, if you are committed to waiting to have sex, you should tell him that.  Then you will know his true colors. 

Wycliffes_Shillelagh

Set boundaries for yourself...  For a first date, some good boundaries might be:

I will hold hands.
I won't kiss prior to the end of the date.
The kiss @ the end will be a peck only.
I won't let him put his hand on my leg/bottom/stomach/chest.
I will let him put his hand around my shoulder.

You get the drift.  Figure out what you're comfortable with and what you're not.  If you figure it out in advance, you won't be caught off-guard during your date.

Mere Nick

It's good to find out early what standard, if any, a potential girl or boy friend aspires to follow.

DueyAB

Lol, no one asked you how it turned out!?  So...how did it go?

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