Concerned won't be able to stay virgin before married

[hgchrisfor]

I've always been a Christian even though I wasn't raised studying, going to church etc. But I've always been saving myself for marriage and have been really committed to living Christ-like more so the past few years.

I am starting to look for a future wife much more in depth now and have realized that it's a tough world out there. We are all victims of sin and it's tough to find people out there that have not had pre-marital sex.

I know we are saved by grace through faith, in what Jesus did for us. And not by our works, but I know our works keep us close to God so we don't fall away. - I know God throws our sins from as far as East to West when we ask for forgiveness though.

But I don't want to abuse this. - I am worried I won't be able to stay a virgin before marriage, especially if I find a girl that has had sex before.

I think sex is an important part of marriage because I have seen a lot of couples grow apart and even grow to hate each other. I think intimacy is important. - I am worried that I will not be able to please my future wife if she was not a virgin, and if she wants to have sex to make sure we were compatible.

I know I would be knowingly sinning, but also know I could be forgiven. But as I said, I don't want to abuse God's forgiveness and what Christ did for us.

I just want to make sure I can please my wife and we can have the best and happiest marriage. I've just seen some many couples that are unhappy and don't want this.

But I also want to be yielding and obey God. - But I think finding a great wife that can help me grow closer to God and live a happy life for God is important.

So i'm just worried that I will find myself "needing" to have premarital sex. Not for myself, but for my wife to make sure we are compatible and can truly love one another.

- Just to be clear, this is not about temptation or wanting to have sex. I'm just worried that with today's society unless I find a "strict" Christian that is saving herself, most girls I come across (and have come across) are not virgins. And I will "need" to have sex with them to make sure we can have a great relationship and/or are sexually compatible.

[chosenone]

Having sex before marriage is a choice, and no one 'needs' to have sex to see if they are compatible.If we trust God to bring the right person for us, then we need to trust Him that we will be right for each other. If a girl has had sex before then you may need to find out if she was a believer when she did, and if so, does she believe that its OK to have sex outside marriage as a believer. if she does then maybe she isn't the one for you. If she had sex before converting, and now believes that it is wrong, and has repented, then she wont want to have sex again anyway till she is married. Moral values are so important.
You need to stick to your beliefs and not have sex till you marry. Having sex before marriage is no guarantee that couples will stay together, in fact I believe the opposite is true. Those who live together before marriage are far more likely to divorce.

  When I met my second husband, we had obviously both had sex before(we had both had long first marriages) and yet we have a good sex life and like anything in a relationship it takes give and take and learning to please the other to make it work.I was told by two people that we should live together first(non believers) to see if we were 'compatible' and of course we ignored that advise because neither of us wanted to disobey God. 

Don't go against what you know to be right, and God will bring the right girl for you along at the right time. You just haven't met the right one yet.

[midnightmonster]

If you're a virgin now, odds are very small that you'll be any "good" at sex for the first several times anyway. Like anything, it's a learned skill. So how much sinning are you planning to do to prepare you for marriage? Maybe you should experiment with some girls you don't care about very much first, so as not to spoil things with your inexperience the first time with your hopeful wife? Hire a prostitute to teach you?

If you think a lack of "sexual compatibility" may hurt your future marriage, just think what a wife who wants you to sin for her sake will do for you, or a husband who will knowingly do wrong to please his wife. "But my wife told me to!" hasn't been a good excuse since Adam and Eve. Sex is just one hormone-driven moral battleground. That one will probably get easier when you get married, but it's not like it's the last moral question you'll experience together. If you don't have each other's backs now, sexual compatibility will be the least of your problems.

[GodWithUs777]

That is your fleshy sinful human nature talking.  Walk in the Spirit!!!  And you cant fool God, you could plan to sin and be forgiven but then live the rest of your life with HIV, or a baby with a nonbeliever who leaves you and now when you get married you can tell your wife that story.  Trust in God that he has someone for you, who will wait for marriage before sex.  And I agree with the comment above, if your a virgin, you're chances of being any good are way slim.  Better save that for your wife too.