Help Me Please

[foxthor11]

I am such a wretched sinner. I have struggled with pornography for many years now it is a huge problem for me. Almost everything seems to be able to get me in the "mood" and then that's all I think about. I am very afraid because it is becoming easier and easier for me to sin this sin. I don't want to lose my relationship and salvation with God. I actually went and told my dad about my problem and he installed a filter on my computer but I always find ways around it. I have even sunken low enough to use his phone to view pornography. I am stuck and I afraid. I want this to be out of my life and I want to live for God. I don't want to be cast from his presence. 

[epiphanius]

foxthor,

First of all, welcome to the Forum!

There's been quite a lot already posted on this subject, so take a look around.  Many of the posts have links to other resources, as well.

I am such a wretched sinner.

All of us are struggling with sin in one form or another, so in one sense we are all "wretched."  It is important to remember, though, that it is by struggling that we learn to rely on God and draw our strength from Him, while by dwelling on our wretchedness too much, we can easily fall into the enemy's trap of discouragement.

I don't want to lose my relationship and salvation with God ... I want this to be out of my life and I want to live for God. I don't want to be cast from his presence.

This is what matters; this makes all the difference in the world.  The question is, what are you doing to strive for these goals?

You have come to this forum to ask for advice, and that's good.  Are you already active in a parish, and committed to prayer and Scripture reading on a daily basis?  These are all weapons you need for the struggle, and without them you don't have much to fight with.

My prayers are with you. 

[johndoo]

Because this is causing you this much distress, I'd recommend you talk to a youth pastor or christian counselor. 

Do you know why you do it?
This is one of the questions a therapist can help you get at.
What can you do to substitute?  Music, exercise, go out with friends.
Put the computer in a public location.

[SolitaryDisciple]

Hello there, FoxThor. You are brave to confess your sins in public like this. You are on the right track. Please don't beat yourself up so badly. We all have our faults. I used to look at porn, too. Satan entices us by making sin look good. Many, many men (and even some women) struggle with porn. The only advice I can give you is to increase your Godly activity. Go to church. Read your Bible. Pray. Fast if you can. Ask God to help you stop looking at porn. I assure you, it will not be easy, but God will help you. You seem to think of yourself as a filthy person, but you're not. You're a good person who has an addiction. That doesn't make you a bad person. I foresee you overcoming this barrier. Good luck, and God bless!

- S. D.