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Need a little advice here

Started by Goofygirl, Mon Jul 09, 2012 - 00:41:23

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Goofygirl

Okay so im an early adult and I have some health issues.  I have never dated. When I was in 9th grade I met a guy who became my friend.  By 10th grade I kinda developed a little crush on him. Finally when we were talking on the computer he told me he liked me. I was so excited to find out that someone actually likes me. However my mom found out and incouraged me to go out with him. However my family was all talking about this like it was a major thing and that bothered me. Also a couple of my friends (who are no longer my friends.) Kept tellilng me not to do it because he was gonna break my heart. The guy I liked would text me saying we should go out to diner or something but I was too much in shock to know what to say (when I got those text messages I was at my ex best friends house.) We never did date. Later on he told me that he thinks its a good idea thatwe dont date so he wont break my heart and mess things up between us.  I found that sweet but also confusing. We still talk to this very day and  it is just so irritating to know why we never dated. I am scared of all the negative things I hear about relationships like cheating , lying and stuff like that and I dont wanna be. I know the god will send the right guy for me but I just dont know how to tell if he is really the one? I know I have alot of time to figure this out and im being patint just wondering what exactly is love?

chosenone

Hi Goofygirl
Is this guy a Christian? Is he a godly young man?
The thing is that if we never risk anything, we may avoid getting hurt, but what would life be like?Lonely, isolating, grey and boring. We were made for relationships, and if we are never prepared to risk getting hurt we will never experience the fullness of life.
Yes people do cheat and lie and decieve, but there are also those who dont, and who have brilliant marriages and relationships.
Let me tell you my experience. My dad was a womaniser and had affairs, my mother committed suicide, my first husband deeply hurt and betrayed me and my children causing a very truamatic marriage break up after 25 years, and after all that I could have just withdrawn and not allowed myself to get close to anyone again to avoid any more hurt, BUT despite all that I still had faith and trust that there are good people out there, and 7 years ago I married my wonderful second husband and have an amazing marriage, and I have never been happier.

So you need to make that decision, and stop letting fear of what may happen rule your life. No one is perfect, and yes you will get hurt(we all do) but thats life, and life with no risks isnt worth living in my opinion. Accept that hurt is inevitable and get on with real living is my advise. If you always worry about what MAY happen, you will never enjoy what IS happening, or what COULD happen.

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