Need some help!

[foreverlearning]

Hi Chosenone & RoninJedi,
Thank you very much for all your help. I'm feeling much better and working on things.

[chosenone]

Hi foreverlearing

I think you need to let that girl go. You have to accept that she isn't interested and move on.
I was on dating sites for 2 years before I met my husband and got to know some nice guys but they weren't for me.

I want to ask, are you still at home with your parents? If you are, then the time has come to break free and move out. That alone will boost your confidence no end(I have seen that happen with other young people).Secondly do you go to a good friendly church? If not try and find one. I know you find it hard to mix, but staying home behind a computer will only make that worse. The only way to gain more self confidence is to get out there and mix with others, experience more of life, spend time with other people and gain those important social skills. Join a small group at your church, get involved with helping others(a great way to get to know other people) .
You really need to make friends before you meet a girl.

You have done really well with loosing weight etc, but do it for yourself and not because of a girl who lives 2000 miles away.

I get so angry when I hear of parents who say such insensitive things to their children, but remember God thinks you are THE BEST. Look up verses that speak of Gods love for you and how He sees you, and say them out loud every day. Psalm 139 is a good place to start. Get a good modern Bible translation.  If you don't know any, you can look them up on google. Allow the power of those verses to sink down and change you. They will.

God Bless you

[RoninJedi]

Hi foreverlearing

I think you need to let that girl go. You have to accept that she isn't interested and move on.
I was on dating sites for 2 years before I met my husband and got to know some nice guys but they weren't for me.

I want to ask, are you still at home with your parents? If you are, then the time has come to break free and move out. That alone will boost your confidence no end(I have seen that happen with other young people).Secondly do you go to a good friendly church? If not try and find one. I know you find it hard to mix, but staying home behind a computer will only make that worse. The only way to gain more self confidence is to get out there and mix with others, experience more of life, spend time with other people and gain those important social skills. Join a small group at your church, get involved with helping others(a great way to get to know other people) .
You really need to make friends before you meet a girl.

You have done really well with loosing weight etc, but do it for yourself and not because of a girl who lives 2000 miles away.

I get so angry when I hear of parents who say such insensitive things to their children, but remember God thinks you are THE BEST. Look up verses that speak of Gods love for you and how He sees you, and say them out loud every day. Psalm 139 is a good place to start. Get a good modern Bible translation.  If you don't know any, you can look them up on google. Allow the power of those verses to sink down and change you. They will.

God Bless you

Agreed 100%.

To add to that, I would encourage you to seek good, solid Christian counseling for yourself.  You're carrying a lot of baggage, brother, and I think seeking someone who can help you deal with this baggage would be a greater help to you than the admiration of any woman.  It sounds like your putting your worth solely on the shoulders of this woman's willingness to date you.

She's 2000 miles away.  That's quite a drive for dinner and a movie.

Seriously though, your worth has nothing to do with how other people see you - including those of the opposite sex - and everything to do with how God sees you.  Let me echo chosenone a bit and offer this advice.

1.)  If you are not in a friendly church, do some looking and visiting, and get into one yesterday.
2.)  If you live at home, get out yesterday.
3.)  Go out and mix.  Get out of your house where you will just sit and stew in your baggage.  That's not helping you at all, my friend.
4.)  Find good, Godly counseling two weeks ago.  Find someone to help you get this load you carry off of your shoulders.

I know a part of losing hope was the lack of God answering your prayer.  I just want to remind you gently that we can pray until we're blue in the face.  If it's not in line with God's will for us, it's not happening.  You asked, essentially, for God to give you the blessing of a relationship with a woman who lives 2000 miles away.  One thing to remember, especially in the future, is that the blessings of the Lord have no sorrow attached to them (Proverbs 10:22).  A distance like that would lead to sorrow.

Don't lose hope.  I apologize for getting long-winded, but when I was a kid my grandfather told me this story.


Two frogs fell into a barrel of butter.  They kicked, and kicked, and kicked, and kicked, but they couldn't get out. 

One frog said, "It's hopeless," and just gave up, and he drowned.

The frog said, "I ain't gonna never, never, never, never, never give up."

And he kept kicking, and kept kicking, and kept kicking, and kept kicking, and kept kicking.

Sometime later the farmer came out and opened the lid on that barrel.  That frog had kicked so long and so hard that he had churned up a big ball of butter.  And the frog was laying on top of that ball of butter, taking a nap.

Never, never, never, never, never give up.

God bless.

[foreverlearning]

Thank You RoninJedi and chosenone for replying! I'm trying to let go and live life.

To answer some of your questions, I moved out of home during college and living on my on ever since. I was never happy at the places I was, so I kept moving. Have lived in East, Central and Western parts of the country plus Europe in my quest to find happiness but it never worked. I just keep running hoping that the next job and  place I go will be different. I've become an expert at moving, moving to a new place is something I can do easily. I've been volunteering a few times at food banks, etc but most people over there come in groups and since I'm quiet and shy making friends at such places is difficult. I've sought counseling spent a whole lot of money but that didn't help either.

RoninJedi, thanks for sharing the story, I've heard it long time back, unfortunately its such stories that makes it worse for me, because I never give up and makes me think I should try harder. I'll keep trying and trying and can keep at it. While I lead a blessed life, don't struggle for the basics, I'm unhappy, I know I shouldn't be there are lot of people who suffer in this world and its ungrateful of me to complain, but still. Usually when I have a goal and work on it, loneliness doesn't bother me. Otherwise I drown myself in work which also makes life a lot less painful.

I suppose there is nothing much else to do other than pray and wait.

Thank You!

[chosenone]

Moving to find happiness will never happen. It takes a lot of time to find and make good friends. When the problem is you then how will moving help? Also I dont agree that praying and waiting will help in this case, only asking God for help to get out there, and go to a good church will help. Honestly its only by doing things that take you into contact with other people and maybe a guys group, and stick with it. You will never make friends if you just keep on moving
Maybe find a hobby or interest that you can do with others.

[RoninJedi]

Hi Chosenone & RoninJedi,
Thank you very much for all your help. I'm feeling much better and working on things.

Okay...so I got a little carried away with the smilies...I've had a lot of sugar today...

Seriously though, I'm very glad to hear it.  I'm so happy you're feeling better.  We are always happy to help if we can.  Make sure you keep us posted!

Father, I just want to thank you quickly for my brother in Christ, and for the blessing you've begun to pour on Him, and for the works you have begun in his life.  Lord you know his needs better than I do.  I just pray that those needs would be met and met in abundance.  We just thank you and praise you, Lord.  In Jesus' name we pray.  Amen.