is it ever the different

[endoftheworld]

Frankly there is a chair on my floor. That is the problem

[chosenone]

To be with someone in case you cant find anyone 'better' is a bad idea. Everyone deserves to be with someone who knows they are 'the one' and who is fully wanting to be with them.
What if got engaged/married and then this 'better' someone came along? Would you then feel discontent and regretful?

In my experience when you meet the right person you just 'know'. You don't need to question, and if you do need to question then she isn't the right one.

[endoftheworld]

Yeah that's what I wasn't thinking about the suspension bridge. I'm not sure whether it was on the computer or not

[DaveW]

What you wrote reminded me of a comedy routine about relationships.  The comic described his romance as:

come here come here come here come here

go away go away go away go away

come here come here come here come here

go away go away go away go away

I think it was George Carlin but am not sure.  I tried to google it and found this:

Codependent Relationships Dynamics part 4 - Come Here, Go Away

[/b]

    As long as we have not healed our childhood wounds then there are a lot more than two people involved in our relationships.  There may only be two people in the room - but the room is also full of the ghosts of all of our past emotional wounds.  Until we start clearing our emotional process of the buttons/triggers that throw us into the past, we are not capable of being honest in the now.  When we react in the now out of old wounds and old tapes we are being emotionally dishonest with ourselves and our partners.

    The way the dynamic in a dysfunctional relationship works is in a "come here" - "go away" cycle.  When one person is available the other tends to pull away.  If the first person becomes unavailable the other comes back and pleads to be let back in.   When the first becomes available again then the other eventually starts pulling away again.  It happens because our relationship with self is not healed.  As long as I do not love myself then there must be something wrong with someone who loves me - and if someone doesn't love me than I have to prove I am worthy by winning that person back.  On some level we are trying to earn the love of our unavailable parent(s) to prove to ourselves that we are worthy and lovable.

http://joy2meu.com/codependent4.htm

[chosenone]

It sounds as if there was a lot wrong with that relationship and she didnt treat you well. I would say trust your instincts which told you to end it. I would never go out with anyone who treated me badly.
Are you a Christian? Is she? 

[endoftheworld]

Since I have been clapping with the shirts and the tress

[chosenone]

Of course its normal to miss someone you have been out with but that will pass. My husband would advise you never to go out with a high maintenance lady, his first wife of 23 years was like this.