Non-Drinker, Smoker, and Druggie

[ponygals]

I have been single for 3 years. I've tried to date gone only on a few dates but never worked. I am trying to find a guy that DOES NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs. Does not have and does not want kids. But wants to get married.

I've tried the christian dating sites and religious dating sites and other dating sites have found some guys fitting this but non have worked out. And I don't know what to do anymore. I am only 26 going on 27 and I know I am young and have a long life ahead of me, but I just keep feeling and thinking I am going to be alone forever.

Because all guys of today even religious types care for is sex, drinking, drugs, and smoking. I never have done any of that and don't ever plan too and never even tried it ever.

[chosenone]

I dont actually know ANY Christian guys who take drugs or sleep around or even smoke. I think you are looking in the wrong places. There are some good on line sites and some not so good. Dont go on ones that are for anyone, but only ones for Christians.

However most people naturally want to have children, so that will be a massive problem. I suspect that you will find it extremely hard to find a guy who doesnt,  especially because there are more single women in the church that men anyway.

When you say you dont even plan on sex, presumably you mean till you are married?

Do you have a good church where you meet people? Do you go to Christian singles groups? Are you involved in church work? Voluntary groups?

BY the way my son married 3 years ago aged 33. She was 29.

[Red Baker]

I have been single for 3 years. I've tried to date gone only on a few dates but never worked. I am trying to find a guy that DOES NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs. Does not have and does not want kids. But wants to get married.

I've tried the christian dating sites and religious dating sites and other dating sites have found some guys fitting this but non have worked out. And I don't know what to do anymore. I am only 26 going on 27 and I know I am young and have a long life ahead of me, but I just keep feeling and thinking I am going to be alone forever.

Because all guys of today even religious types care for is sex, drinking, drugs, and smoking. I never have done any of that and don't ever plan too and never even tried it ever.

I am trying to find a guy that DOES NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs.

Drugs I fully understand; smoking I can as well for health reasons and the awful smells that it leaves; but not drinking, if done in moderation, like eating, and many other things.

I have been single for 3 years.

So you have been married and now divorced?  "If" I were a man looking for a wife, I would not start with a divorce woman, neither would I want my son, or grandson to do so, for many reasons.  It is not that I would not, but would want to know why a woman is divorce from her husband, or is now not married, that once was married.

Does not have and does not want kids

Good luck with that one, Miss selfish.  God created women to be a help meet for her husband and to bear children.

I am only 26 going on 27 and I know I am young and have a long life ahead of me,

Really, how do you know that? Your life will be over with much quicker than you think.

but I just keep feeling and thinking I am going to be alone forever

My youngest daughter used to tell me the same thing.   She got married when she was about twenty eight~She is now almost forty, with six children, the oldest being just turned eleven~she has gotten her master degree in accounting while having the children.

because all guys of today even religious types care for is sex, drinking, drugs, and smoking

I believe you are over reacting, and over stating the facts.  Most real men do enjoy sex, nothing wrong with that, if done within the marriage bed.  Drugs are evil.  Drinking in moderation is acceptable and a gift from God, if done in moderation~Deut. 14:26 Men, or women over weight are just as unacceptable and sinful, as not ruling one's spirit in drinking.  People who are spend thrifts are proving that they cannot rule their spirits as one who drinks too much.  Let us be reasonable.

[chosenone]

Red I think she means that she hasn't had a boyfriend for 3 years.

Not that there is anything wrong with marrying a divorced person. I have the best husband ever, and he was divorced.
I would have no problems with any of my children marrying someone who was divorced, as long as they hadnt cheated on their spouse or left them for someone else or similar, and as long as they were decent people of integrity.
My brother is the nicest person you could meet, and both his wives cheated on him and divorced him. He has a lovely faithful lady now.

I agree with the drink thing, I don't drink myself as I don't really like it, but in moderation its ok. Trouble is that many people cant seem to drink in moderation.

[Red Baker]

Red I think she means that she hasn't had a boyfriend for 3 years.

Not that there is anything wrong with marrying a divorced person. I have the best husband ever, and he was divorced.
I would have no problems with any of my children marrying someone who was divorced, as long as they hadnt cheated on their spouse or left them for someone else or similar, and as long as they were decent people of integrity.
My brother is the nicest person you could meet, and both his wives cheated on him and divorced him. He has a lovely faithful lady now.

I agree with the drink thing, I don't drink myself as I don't really like it, but in moderation its ok. Trouble is that many people cant seem to drink in moderation.

I see nothing wrong with him marring again base upon what you are saying.  If he is as nice as you, then I agree, he's no doubt a special person.

[chosenone]

Red I think she means that she hasn't had a boyfriend for 3 years.

Not that there is anything wrong with marrying a divorced person. I have the best husband ever, and he was divorced.
I would have no problems with any of my children marrying someone who was divorced, as long as they hadnt cheated on their spouse or left them for someone else or similar, and as long as they were decent people of integrity.
My brother is the nicest person you could meet, and both his wives cheated on him and divorced him. He has a lovely faithful lady now.

I agree with the drink thing, I don't drink myself as I don't really like it, but in moderation its ok. Trouble is that many people cant seem to drink in moderation.

I see nothing wrong with him marring again base upon what you are saying.  If he is as nice as you, then I agree, he's no doubt a special person.

Thank you. 

I think he is nicer than me actually, but he isnt a Christian as yet, and they have been living together for a few years now. I think that maybe
he has been put off marriage.

[JohnDB]

The OP though is not a Christian.   

And I don't think she will find the guy she is looking for in Christian circles.   Christian men are in short supply to begin with.   Only the best of the best Christian women will be able to gain one as a husband.  Certainly one who doesn't claim Christ as their savior wont stand a chance.

The OP might as well be unicorn hunting.

[chosenone]

The OP though is not a Christian.   

And I don't think she will find the guy she is looking for in Christian circles.   Christian men are in short supply to begin with.   Only the best of the best Christian women will be able to gain one as a husband.  Certainly one who doesn't claim Christ as their savior wont stand a chance.

The OP might as well be unicorn hunting.

What do you class as the 'best' women? Nicest? Most attractive? Richest? Most godly? Best career?

[ponygals]

I am not Christian I don't have a religion. And I have never been married. I have never had a boyfriend in 3 years hence why I am single for 3 years. And there are people who do not have kids. My old high school English teacher didn't have kids and she was married. This musician of this band I like he and his wife never had kids and they agree on it before marrying, same for one of the band's other members they didn't have kids either.

So don't get mad at me for being the way I am.

[Rella]

The OP though is not a Christian.   

And I don't think she will find the guy she is looking for in Christian circles.   Christian men are in short supply to begin with.   Only the best of the best Christian women will be able to gain one as a husband.  Certainly one who doesn't claim Christ as their savior wont stand a chance.

The OP might as well be unicorn hunting.

What in the OPs post has had you judge she is not a Christian?

There are some good on line sites and some not so good. Dont go on ones that are for anyone, but only ones for Christians.

DO NOT assume that the Christian Mingles of the internet offer only upstanding Christian men.

[chosenone]

I am not Christian I don't have a religion. And I have never been married. I have never had a boyfriend in 3 years hence why I am single for 3 years. And there are people who do not have kids. My old high school English teacher didn't have kids and she was married. This musician of this band I like he and his wife never had kids and they agree on it before marrying, same for one of the band's other members they didn't have kids either.

So don't get mad at me for being the way I am.

  Just wondered why you have come to a Christian forum asking for advise if you aren't a Christian? Also why you seem to be looking for a Christian man if you aren't one?

There are a tiny number of people who don't want children but they are very rare. Some people you hear of may simply be unable to have them. 

Is there any particular reason why you are against having children?

[chosenone]

The OP though is not a Christian.   

And I don't think she will find the guy she is looking for in Christian circles.   Christian men are in short supply to begin with.   Only the best of the best Christian women will be able to gain one as a husband.  Certainly one who doesn't claim Christ as their savior wont stand a chance.

The OP might as well be unicorn hunting.

What in the OPs post has had you judge she is not a Christian?

There are some good on line sites and some not so good. Dont go on ones that are for anyone, but only ones for Christians.

DO NOT assume that the Christian Mingles of the internet offer only upstanding Christian men.

I was on a Christian site in the UK, and most of the people there did seem to be genuine Christians. They had a forum as well, and I got to know quite a few of them quite well.   There will always be some bad people wherever you go, internet or otherwise. 

[Willie T]

The OP though is not a Christian.   

And I don't think she will find the guy she is looking for in Christian circles.   Christian men are in short supply to begin with.   Only the best of the best Christian women will be able to gain one as a husband.  Certainly one who doesn't claim Christ as their savior wont stand a chance.

The OP might as well be unicorn hunting.

What do you class as the 'best' women? Nicest? Most attractive? Richest? Most godly? Best career?

You're every bit as wise and intuitive as I have always given you credit for being.  You seem to see right to the hearts of people.

[Willie T]

I am not Christian I don't have a religion. And I have never been married. I have never had a boyfriend in 3 years hence why I am single for 3 years. And there are people who do not have kids. My old high school English teacher didn't have kids and she was married. This musician of this band I like he and his wife never had kids and they agree on it before marrying, same for one of the band's other members they didn't have kids either.

So don't get mad at me for being the way I am.

Don't be too concerned.  A lot of people who DO have religion aren't necessarily Christians, though they may think they are.

And, I pray that should you become a Christian, you STILL will be able to say you are not "religious".   

[chosenone]

I am not Christian I don't have a religion. And I have never been married. I have never had a boyfriend in 3 years hence why I am single for 3 years. And there are people who do not have kids. My old high school English teacher didn't have kids and she was married. This musician of this band I like he and his wife never had kids and they agree on it before marrying, same for one of the band's other members they didn't have kids either.

So don't get mad at me for being the way I am.

Don't be too concerned.  A lot of people who DO have religion aren't necessarily Christians, though they may think they are.

And, I pray that should you become a Christian, you STILL will be able to say you are not "religious".   

Thats true. I am not in the least 'religious.' I am simply Gods loved daughter. 

[ponygals]

Well I've got news I have found a guy that fits what I am looking for but have not gotten a message from him for today. :(