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Jaime
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Home boundaries

Started by tryingishard, Tue Jun 14, 2016 - 09:25:33

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tryingishard

We have a 19 year old son who is in college and lives at home. We are trying to figure out boundaries rules for our home when he has someone here of the opposite sex. With our kids during dating years , all doors had to remain open, they couldn't be here alone with the opposite sex. Our daughter never argued these much after she turned 18 it was what it was. Our son on the other hand thinks we shouldn't place these things on him since he is technically an adult.
We explained to him that if we allowed him here in our home with a  girl it is open for more temptation and it would go against my values. Are we being too strict?

MeMyself

Not even a little bit.

If he thinks your rules are too much for him to respect, then I would smile and say, "Our house, our rules. We pay the bills, we set the limits, we are accountable to God what happens within these walls.  If you don't enjoy that; may I suggest you find your OWN place, so that you can live the way you feel is right for you, and bear the consequences of that."

My son is wandering right now, and we had to tell him we could not take him rubbing our nose in his sin any longer.  He had to move out.  He did.  Our hearts broke and are broken still, but there is a measure of peace that comes from standing in your convictions as well.

When he comes over, he abides by our standards, we love him and enjoy his company as much as possible, but there is a wedge between us still...isn't that what sin always does? Puts a wedge between relationships.

I am sorry that you are in this place with your son.  Loving him best means loving God most; it means not compromising your convictions, and loving him enough to let him know there are limits for his own good.

God bless you and your family during this very trying time.

tryingishard

Thank you I appreciate your quick response. It helps alot.

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