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Jaime
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Chatting with someone

Started by Messy, Fri Dec 25, 2015 - 18:14:19

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Messy

After 2 breakups I spent 2 years on a christian forum where they banned me so all of a sudden I lost my friends since I have no real friends irl anymore. So I felt so lonely I went to dating sites and talked to a guy for 3 weeks but then I had to shut up for 3 dys because he had a weekend and a female friend just friend he went out with and I was like no thanks and I think he found me too clingy, but he was just divorced and not ready for a relationship. So lol I threw a pity party on Facebook and this guy I knew from another forum but he had no idea who I was since I had a new account with a monkey pic to avoid scammers, started to Facebook chat. It's great but the thing is one day we talk a lot and if he doesn't respond for hours or a day I feel like you know I rather just stay alone. Why do men always want someone while they just always want to be alone or is it just the ones I met? I remember the last relationship and also the first. It is so much more lonely than just being single. I can just find some new friends and be happy. I don't think this is gonna work.

Messy

#1
I'm just complicated and he's normal and we just talk normal. I'm used to guys who know my whole past and all bad stuff within a week. I can't say I don't want to talk anymore because of that, but it is the case. I thought I was healed but I notice it as soon as I start to talk to someone.


Messy

Funny, someone on Facebook just posted this. Very helpful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HobYJOBPqtQ

They really have some good stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeWbHhcSP-k

Rella

You are looking for a Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks "You've Got Mail situation and I can assure you IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

At least not in real life.

First thing is that NO man.... I repeat NO... wants to really know about your past.

No matter what they say they don't.

I speak from experience when one told me that when I meet someone and it is moving forward nicely, do not tell them about my past. Not until I would be in a committed relationship.

Next is DO NOT expect any chatting or pen pal experience to last very long. Not beyond a few exchanges to a couple of weeks.  UNLESS.. and this is a major unless.... You are willing to go the cyber fun endof things.

Not only is that a bad idea.... morally, it also is the wrong reason he will hang around.

Now... there is one decent pen pal site that I have found. It is not Christian but there are enough people on it that is you write to one and then it is over others are available. Pen Pals Now.
You get to select age groups and if it is men, women, or both you want to write to.

I have probably talked to a couple hundred over the past 6 years on there.

I learned early on not to be specific.... but it does fill time when I am looking to fill time.








chosenone

I would recommend that you spend more time off the internet and getting out into the world and getting involved in a church and other activities. You can volunteer in things, help others, join groups. start hobbies and make real life friends. Nothing wrong with the internet but if its all you have some changes need to be made.

Messy

#5
Quote from: chosenone on Sat Dec 26, 2015 - 07:58:43
I would recommend that you spend more time off the internet and getting out into the world and getting involved in a church and other activities. You can volunteer in things, help others, join groups. start hobbies and make real life friends. Nothing wrong with the internet but if its all you have some changes need to be made.
I'm contacting people I know from real life on Facebook. I attend a Bible school now with people I met on Facebook and I have a church but it's veeeery small and I can't go to studies and such anymore because I have 3 kids. Only people I have contact with is those few people from church, my family, lol talk to my sister every day on Facebook because she's always busy and some moms from the kids my kids play with and collegues which I also added on Facebook. Just moved to a new town. Don't know much people there yet.

Messy

Quote from: Rella on Sat Dec 26, 2015 - 07:35:28
You are looking for a Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks "You've Got Mail situation and I can assure you IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

At least not in real life.

First thing is that NO man.... I repeat NO... wants to really know about your past.

No matter what they say they don't.

I speak from experience when one told me that when I meet someone and it is moving forward nicely, do not tell them about my past. Not until I would be in a committed relationship.

Next is DO NOT expect any chatting or pen pal experience to last very long. Not beyond a few exchanges to a couple of weeks.  UNLESS.. and this is a major unless.... You are willing to go the cyber fun endof things.

Not only is that a bad idea.... morally, it also is the wrong reason he will hang around.

Now... there is one decent pen pal site that I have found. It is not Christian but there are enough people on it that is you write to one and then it is over others are available. Pen Pals Now.
You get to select age groups and if it is men, women, or both you want to write to.

I have probably talked to a couple hundred over the past 6 years on there.

I learned early on not to be specific.... but it does fill time when I am looking to fill time.
Well the ones from dating sites had to know everything and I was way too open, so I learned from that. I thanked the last guy I went on a date with because he was not the one anyway and I learned a lot from it. I'm never gonna share my whole past again with some stranger. I guess this one doesn't even want to know. I was so stupid yesterday. I wanted to throw it all out and tell him why he shouldn't date me but then I said just hi and never mind and got a smiley back. Funny. He's very christian and decent. He just said he wanted to go evangelize with me some day and we have just normal regular conversations.

Messy

I forgot I ever made this topic. Problem is solved. Don't feel lonely anymore when the kids are with dad. I went to the local pet shop, picked up 3 bunnies and became a crazy bunny woman lol. Crazy cat women are so overrated.

Texas Conservative

Quote from: Rella on Sat Dec 26, 2015 - 07:35:28
You are looking for a Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks "You've Got Mail situation and I can assure you IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

At least not in real life.

First thing is that NO man.... I repeat NO... wants to really know about your past.

No matter what they say they don't.

I speak from experience when one told me that when I meet someone and it is moving forward nicely, do not tell them about my past. Not until I would be in a committed relationship.

Next is DO NOT expect any chatting or pen pal experience to last very long. Not beyond a few exchanges to a couple of weeks.  UNLESS.. and this is a major unless.... You are willing to go the cyber fun endof things.

Not only is that a bad idea.... morally, it also is the wrong reason he will hang around.

Now... there is one decent pen pal site that I have found. It is not Christian but there are enough people on it that is you write to one and then it is over others are available. Pen Pals Now.
You get to select age groups and if it is men, women, or both you want to write to.

I have probably talked to a couple hundred over the past 6 years on there.

I learned early on not to be specific.... but it does fill time when I am looking to fill time.

Not true.  I do want to know some things about a woman's past.  I want to make sure she's not anything like the nutter I was with before.

Messy

Quote from: Texas Conservative on Mon Jun 27, 2016 - 16:09:17
Quote from: Rella on Sat Dec 26, 2015 - 07:35:28
You are looking for a Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks "You've Got Mail situation and I can assure you IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

At least not in real life.

First thing is that NO man.... I repeat NO... wants to really know about your past.

No matter what they say they don't.

I speak from experience when one told me that when I meet someone and it is moving forward nicely, do not tell them about my past. Not until I would be in a committed relationship.

Next is DO NOT expect any chatting or pen pal experience to last very long. Not beyond a few exchanges to a couple of weeks.  UNLESS.. and this is a major unless.... You are willing to go the cyber fun endof things.

Not only is that a bad idea.... morally, it also is the wrong reason he will hang around.

Now... there is one decent pen pal site that I have found. It is not Christian but there are enough people on it that is you write to one and then it is over others are available. Pen Pals Now.
You get to select age groups and if it is men, women, or both you want to write to.

I have probably talked to a couple hundred over the past 6 years on there.

I learned early on not to be specific.... but it does fill time when I am looking to fill time.

Not true.  I do want to know some things about a woman's past.  I want to make sure she's not anything like the nutter I was with before.
Yes when you had a bad experience you don't want that again and first thing the Dutch guys I spoke to did, was ask all about my past almost immediately. That one guy didn't, because he had never been in a relationship I think.

beal_01

Bunny lady eh..?  That's pretty cool.  As for me, yea, I want to know about past.  Mistakes, but what was learned is most important.  Shows the character of the soul.

I've gotten the most dates/connections when I wasn't looking or even caring about finding someone. 

When you are happy with who you are spiritually, emotionally, and physically, your going to be so attractive to __TONS__ of guys.   Biggest problem your going to have is needing a bigger stick to beat them all away :)

Some advice from a "Christian Guy's" point of view:  The "thing" that attracts me to a woman.. Is blindly serving Christ. 

Proverbs 31 bud.. Diamond in the rough.  #BeTheDiamond :)

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