New here; unusual problems

[kdm1984]

Hello.  I'm new here, obviously.  I'm a 31 year old Christian female who goes to a Calvary Chapel church in SW MO.  I was raised Wisconsin Synod Lutheran and then attended some Pentecostal churches with my folks later in childhood.  I then had an agnostic phase in my late teens and early twenties.  After that, I was influenced by some online friends in the Reformed church.  I now prefer Calvary Chapels the best.  I like apologetics, hermeneutics, writing, and philosophy.

I do have some struggles that are very atypical for Christian women.  It's hard to do fellowship with them when you are autistic (Asperger Syndrome), and also have past problems with lust, pornography, and sex.  I tend toward being too intellectual and too carnal.  Given that the social stereotypes for women are emotional/relationship-oriented, and sex-averse, you can imagine the issues I've had to face here.  It's hard to find support.

Hoping for more insight here. Planning to get into more analytic detail on my topics of difficulty later.  Thanks for the forum.

[Carey]

Welcome to Grace Centered kdm.   

There are many knowledgeable individuals here that might be able to provide the insight you need.  Hope you find what you are looking for.

Carey. 

[SHINY4UJESUS]

Ma'am I understand where you are at quite well. While I don't personally deal with Asperger's Syndrome (IE a form of developmental autism for those unaware,) I am quite familiar with it; due to proximity with several who were born with the genetic "situation." I would refer you to Paul's exhortation in Romans 7:1-22 where he recounts his personal struggle with specific sin(s). The things he didn't want to do, he kept repeating; those things he did want to do he could not manage. It was a thorn in his side even in the peak of his spiritual maturity, and existed until his last days on earth. We do well to note that while we live on this rock, we are going to have two natures to deal with: the nature of the flesh,(IE, tendency towards temptation, sin, indulgence, etc.) and the nature of the Spirit,(IE, tendency towards sanctification, holiness, obedience, etc.)

What is critical is not necessarily perfect adherence, as we are no longer under the "letter of the law," but under the "law of grace by faith in Jesus." If in your heart you recognize these things as sin, and in your heart truly wish to be rid of them,(like Paul,) then it is not unrepentant or conscious sin; but simply the nature of the flesh doing as it was bound to do given it's very nature. (THIS IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OF SIN, OR LICENSE TO SIN MIND YOU!) This is merely a redirection of perspective that sin falls under the blood once it is an unwilling sin done in human weakness and not an intentional sin done purposely with knowledge of what it is.

I would advise a few things: 1) Don't condemn yourself or feel too guilty for things outside your control. It is the intention of the heart that is critical in this matter; not perfect obedience
2) Don't allow the enemy to dictate your self-value or reaction; while you may not be able to dictate certain details, you do have a measure of control as to how you respond and perceive such things.
3) I am including a link to a video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN9fcRrgHTk, "In Spite of Sin...Let Him in!" I think it may give you a deeper perspective on these matters and i pray God will grant some peace in your life through it.

If you need any further counsel, feel free to post reply, use a PM or even my personal email in order to 'not air," what may be a delicate and personal matter in a public arena. Thanks n God Bless!

[kdm1984]

Thanks so much!  Scripturally sound and very helpful.

[SHINY4UJESUS]

You're welcome. I am happy to have been of service; I do try to be salt n light whenever I can. Somedays I end up pretty "salty," and not as bright tho...LOL

[LastAcorn]

Welcome, friend! I'm new here, too. I hope you find the support and friendship you're looking for over here. Blessings!

[robaston]

Hello.  It's hard to find support.

real nice to meet u, everyone is unique and u made the effort. The Holy Spirit will give you more than u can ask or imagine because u are here.

[Tertullian]

I don't know of the original poster is still around.  As I understand, Asperger Syndrome is mainly characterized by social awkwardness.  Why can't an intelligent person with AS learn to overcome, or at least mask, the symptoms of AS?  For example, one symptom is repetitive speech.  Just choose not to repeat something.

Our instincts are difficult to overcome, whether repetitive speech or adulterous desires.  But, if we're aware of them and don't want to suffer from them, we can choose not to feed those instincts but rather focus on other things.

[kdm1984]

I don't know of the original poster is still around.  As I understand, Asperger Syndrome is mainly characterized by social awkwardness.  Why can't an intelligent person with AS learn to overcome, or at least mask, the symptoms of AS?  For example, one symptom is repetitive speech.  Just choose not to repeat something.

Our instincts are difficult to overcome, whether repetitive speech or adulterous desires.  But, if we're aware of them and don't want to suffer from them, we can choose not to feed those instincts but rather focus on other things.

I am still around.

[why_me?]

I don't know of the original poster is still around.  As I understand, Asperger Syndrome is mainly characterized by social awkwardness.  Why can't an intelligent person with AS learn to overcome, or at least mask, the symptoms of AS?  For example, one symptom is repetitive speech.  Just choose not to repeat something.

Our instincts are difficult to overcome, whether repetitive speech or adulterous desires.  But, if we're aware of them and don't want to suffer from them, we can choose not to feed those instincts but rather focus on other things.

I'm sorry but that is not correct.  Frankly, comparing Autism to adultery is offensive. 

kdm1984, I am new hear myself and I don't want to stir anything up, but I do have some hands on experience when it comes to Autism.  Please feel free to PM me if you have specific questions or needs.

[Tertullian]

Frankly, comparing Autism to adultery is offensive. 

People who make up things get get offended over need to get a life.

[kdm1984]

Methinks the above poster might be more severely on the spectrum with the rude social skills and inability to comprehend the big picture of this being a grace-centered forum.

[kdm1984]

To everyone else: thanks for the warm welcome!

[Tertullian]

It's hard to do fellowship with them when you are autistic (Asperger Syndrome)

I see what you mean.

[DaveW]

Hello.  I'm new here, obviously.  I'm a 31 year old Christian female who goes to a Calvary Chapel church in SW MO.  I was raised Wisconsin Synod Lutheran and then attended some Pentecostal churches with my folks later in childhood.  I then had an agnostic phase in my late teens and early twenties.  After that, I was influenced by some online friends in the Reformed church.  I now prefer Calvary Chapels the best.  I like apologetics, hermeneutics, writing, and philosophy.

Welcome.  I used to be a regular here but due to server problems I am not here much any more.

I am glad you found your way back to the Lord!

I do have some struggles that are very atypical for Christian women.  It's hard to do fellowship with them when you are autistic (Asperger Syndrome),

Understood.  I have a granddaughter that is on the spectrum somewhere near Aspy's. It certainly is a struggle. 

I am not surprised to find you drawn toward the logic and pattern based pursuits.  That is common among Aspies. (and other high function autism spectrum folk)

and also have past problems with lust, pornography, and sex.  I tend toward being too intellectual and too carnal.  Given that the social stereotypes for women are emotional/relationship-oriented, and sex-averse, you can imagine the issues I've had to face here.  It's hard to find support.

Anyone on the spectrum has difficulty (to varying degrees) of processing emotions in the normal ways.  I would not be a bit surprised that dealing with the sex drive is also processed differently.

From reading some of the (NON greek) ancient texts, and especially Jewish texts, you sound more "normal" than what passes for normal in women these days.   There are even parts of the Hebrew Prophet scriptures that spoke to that passion as being misapplied to foreign gods:

Ezekiel 23:20   She lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

She (Jerusalem) went after the enormously endowed males that were not hers. In the way it is worded, apparently it was a well understood attraction. (among women)   In western culture there has been a denial and stigma attached to women being attracted that way since about 400 bc. (with Hippocrates)