Transgender husband who is bisexual

[JULIETTE]

Please pray for my husband of 5 years who is flying on his way to Bangkok to have an operation for gender reassignment surgery, to have breast implants. I only found out about this 2 weeks ago and have been praying against this from happening.  My husband is a Christian man who has struggled with Cross dressing and Gender Dysphoria for years since he was young. He grew up with severe abuse and neglect,  his mother used to assault him when he was young and tell him that he should of been a girl, and this is where I believe the damage was done, where he then disassociated as a female personality. He was having Christian ministry for these issues with healing and deliverance ministry but now he has stopped that and decided that he can't fight these feeling any longer. We separated 3 months ago after I found that he had been on a bisexual website and when confronted, he admitted that he had been unfaithful to me with other men. The desire to dress as a woman became intense after his father died last year and his work then allowed him to dress as a woman This has been extremely difficult for me. I am also a Chaplain in a volunteer role and this has sent me into a tailspin. I am concerned about the cross dressing around my 13 year old son. After we separated he has been living his life as a woman and he wants to stay married to me but as person who wears female clothes and now with breast implants.  I am praying for God to stop this surgery and for my husband to have the healing that he needs but he has put one foot into the devil's territory and he has gone down the slippery slope fast. I still love my husband and am praying for GOd to work a miracle here.  He has come from a life of drug addiction but was saved and became a Chrisitan helping many others who have also struggled with drug and alcohol addiction. God was using him to minister to many people but now our marriage has become one big mess. I did believe that God was going to use him to bring many people to Christ who have struggled with gender identity. Please pray that God's will be done in his life and in our marriage.

[Texas Conservative]

File for divorce and run.

[chosenone]

It sounds as if he is very damaged and messed up, and in the end only God can heal and restore. If he carries on along this path its hard to say how the marriage can survive. The fact that he has also cheated many times with men shows that he has already destroyed the marriage covenant, so its hard to believe that he expects you to actually stay married after all this especially as he is physically haing surgery to become a woman(in his eyes). 
I think that you may need to set conditions for the marriage to carry on if its what you want, such as a)carry on with the prayer/ministry, b)don't have any surgery and stop dressing as a woman and c) don't ever cheat again.

[JULIETTE]

To ask husband not to have surgery is too late, he has just had the breast implant surgery yesterday. I believe that my only option now is a divorce. I can not have my 13 year old son witnessing his step father turning into a woman. This would not be a healthy thing for him to witness and I wouldn't put him through that stress and besides that I married my husband as a man, not as a woman. I am not attracted to men that look like women. Sad that I never got to say goodbye to my husband really because after he left he has been living fulltime as a woman.  He reckons he is closer to God now that he is feeling like a woman, but that is the enemy making him believe the lies. I just came back from counselling and it is pretty clear to me that divorce is my only answer. However, I am still called to pray for my husband which I do every day, that the strongholds over my husband's life would be broken and that he would listen to the small still voice of the Holy Spirit. We are called to pray for those people who hurt us so that is what I am doing. I pray that he is set free from the control over him.

[chosenone]

Its a horrible situation for you and your child. I think I agree, if he is going down this path its hard to see what alternative you have. Wont he want to still see your son though?
Its hard to see how he is closer to God after doing this, I cant see how he could possibly think that God wants Him to have his body cut about and act as if he is female, let alone commit adultery with men! Sadly people will try and justify what they want to do.
So sad that he was so damaged, but in a sense he married you under false pretences as he must have had an idea of all of this then.

I know a young lady whose husband is going through this 'changing into a woman' process, they too are getting divorced. The small child now thinks he has 2 mums:-( I also know another lady whose dad left her mum for another man, its not as uncommon as some may think. 

Yes forgiveness and praying for him is very positive.     

[JULIETTE]

Thank you for reply. My husband is my son's step father. Unfortunately, my 13 year old son never really knew his real father because he died of cancer when he was only 4 years old. So this has been very stressful for my son who has now lost 2 fathers; he had a great relationship with my husband and they were close. Now he does not want anything to do with my husband , he is embarrassed by seeing his step father look more feminine, so far I have been able to avoid son seeing him as he does not want to see him.  Very sad situation for my son. My son has 2 olderr brothers who he is close to so tha'ts a positive.

[chosenone]

Thank you for reply. My husband is my son's step father. Unfortunately, my 13 year old son never really knew his real father because he died of cancer when he was only 4 years old. So this has been very stressful for my son who has now lost 2 fathers; he had a great relationship with my husband and they were close. Now he does not want anything to do with my husband , he is embarrassed by seeing his step father look more feminine, so far I have been able to avoid son seeing him as he does not want to see him.  Very sad situation for my son. My son has 2 olderr brothers who he is close to so tha'ts a positive.

Yes I can imagine how your son must be suffering over this, thank goodness he has two other male role models in his life with his brothers. What do they think of it all? Its very sad that your husband is prepared to loose his family over this, rather that persevere and trust God to sort it out.   

[JULIETTE]

My sons are very angry about what my husband has done and they want nothing to do with him. The elder sons are 19 and 23 years old and they said that if I stay with my husband they will never speak to me again. I understand that they are very hurt

[chosenone]

My sons are very angry about what my husband has done and they want nothing to do with him. The elder sons are 19 and 23 years old and they said that if I stay with my husband they will never speak to me again. I understand that they are very hurt

I guess that they have far more memories of their actual dad and less of their step dad than your youngest son. I can understand their hurt but to threaten you like that probably isn't kind. Its a horrible situation for you all, but its hard to see what else you can do accept end the marriage, and of course with all his affairs you have Biblical reason to do so.

[Rella]

My sons are very angry about what my husband has done and they want nothing to do with him. The elder sons are 19 and 23 years old and they said that if I stay with my husband they will never speak to me again. I understand that they are very hurt

According to your husband you would be married to another woman.

How much of an embarrassment would that be for your sons?

Look up abomination in the bible.

Divorce is your only answer.

[DogFighter]

Divorce is typically not permitted for Christains but it is in this case.