A Good Pun Is Its

[Nevertheless]

This isn't exactly humor, but it was in today's email and I wanted to share...


A PRAYER AS WE GROW OLDER

The author of the following prayer is unknown to me:

Lord, keep me from the fatal habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.  Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs.

Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all - but Thou knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind from the recital of endless details - give me wings to get to the point.

Seal my lips on my aches and pains.  They are increasing and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.

I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others but help me to listen to them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory but a growing humility and lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memory of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet.  I do not want to be a "saint" - some of them are hard to live with - but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil.

Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people.  Give me the grace to tell them so.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

    Growing old can be a frightening thing.  We worry about what we will be like in the years ahead.  We hope to be wise and gentle and kind and loving.  The only way to be that way as an old person, though, is to strive to live that way every day as a young person.

    "Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, before the difficult days come, and the years draw near when you say, 'I have no pleasure in them.' " (Eccl. 12:1)

Have a great day!

Alan Smith
White House Church of Christ
White House, Tennessee
www.TFTD-online.com

[admin]

(A funny email I got)

A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD


A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, It's a dead
giveaway!)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a Republic your vote counts. In feudalism your count
votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show
you a flat minor.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she
thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of efeat.

The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a
spectacle of himself.



[!--EDIT|admin|Jan. 15 2003,1:36--]

[janine]

Thanks, Nevvie.