Seinfeld

[Big Mike Lewis]

Thank God for DVD.


These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!

[Jimbob]

"Very good, very good. Excellent. Excellent calzone you got there Costanza. Okay, a little jealous now ... You know that eggplant was very good. Everybody out, I got eggplant on my mind! Costanza get me couple of those calzones right now. Pronto. Move out. Big Stein wants an eggplant calzone! Must have one. Everybody out. Out!" - Steinbrenner

[Big Mike Lewis]

HAHAHAHA!!!
Love that one!

"You're an anti-dentite!"

For those that didn't read it yet, here is my "Part 1" of the episode I wrote called: "The Far-Parker".  I will try to write "Part 2" for this Christmas.   I really should have finished this...as I read it again, I laughed pretty hard...I can't believe I wrote this!

[Jimbob]

Mike I remember that script you wrote quite often when at Walmart.  Funny, funny.

[OldDad]

In my all time favorite bit of Seinfeld dialogue, Kramer tells Jerry and Elaine about the fun he had at Yankees Fantasy Camp...

"Hey! I thought you weren't coming back 'til Monday!?"
     "Well, the camp ended a few days early."
"Why?"
     "Well, there was an incident."
"What happened?"
     "I punched Mickey Mantle in the mouth."
"What!?"
     "Yeah, I punched him and they took him to the hospital and then they cancelled
     the rest of the week."
"You punched who in the mouth?"
     "Mickey Mantle."
"What happened?"
     "Well, you know, we were playin' a game and I was pitching and I was really throwin'
      some smoke. And uh, Joe Pepitone, he was up and man, that guy... he was crowding
      the plate!"
"Wow... Joe Pepitone!"
     "Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate! So I throw one inside,
     a little chin music... put him right on his pants, because I got to intimidate when I'm on
      the mound. Well, the next pitch, he's right back in the same place! So.... I had to
     plunk him."
"You plunked him?"
     "Oh yeah. Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing up to the mound, next thing
      both benches are cleared, a brouhaha breaks out between the guys in camp and the
      old Yankee players, and as I'm trying to get Moose Skowron off one of my
      teammates, somebody pulls me from behind and I turned around and I popped
      him! I look down and, whoa man! It's Mickey! I punched his lights out! Then Hank
      Bauer's screaming 'Mickey! Mickey! What have you have done with Mickey?! You killed
      Mickey!'"
"So what did you do?"
     "I got the h***outta there!"

[boringoldguy]

I hadn't thought about Joe Pepitone in years.
Thanks, OldDad.

[kalen]

"You kept makin' all the stops?!?!"

Well, they kept ringing the bell!"

[Weeble]

I just got my festivus pole!

[Jimbob]

"George is getting upset!" - George

[Big Mike Lewis]

"It's time for the feats of strength."


"The only excuse she might possibly have accepted is if I told her I am in reality Batman, and I'm very sorry, I just saw the Bat Signal."
    - George, telling how he left a woman's bed, in "The Chinese Restaurant"

"You know, George, the ocean called. They're running out of shrimp."
    "Oh yeah, Riley? Well, the jerk store called. They're running out of you!"
"What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller."
    - Riley and George, in "The Comeback"

[Jimbob]

"Let me tell you something, funny boy... You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before - flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me.... Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn't he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over."
- Lt. Bookman, in "The Library"

[James Rondon]

"...man hands..."

[Jimbob]

Rachel Ray has man hands. 

[James Rondon]

Thanks for the laugh, James.

[seekr]

"not that there's anything wrong with that"

[Weeble]

We make it to page two before someone says "No Soup For You!"  I can't believe it!

[OpDagger]

I think my favorite line from Seinfeld would have to be from The Pool Guy.  Kramer is looking up movie times for people because his new phone number is very close to the Moviefone number.  As he finishes giving someone a movie time, Jerry says "You're looking up movies for people now?"  And Kramer responds "I got time."  That is the best line ever, haha.  I like to use it, too. :)

[don has a plan]

My favorite line is in the episode where the Yorkie terrior is keeping Elaine up at night.  After Elaine, Kramer, and Newman take the dog to the country, the cops come looking for them.  First, the cops go to Kramer's apartment.  Then, to Newman's.  Newman opens the door, gives the cop a serious look, and says --- "What took you so long?"

For whatever reason, I go into hysterics everytime I see that.

[Jimbob]

One of my favorites is, "Big Stein wants a calzone!"