How To Get Along, Even With Disruptive Posters, Without Even Trying

[saved]

it would also be nice if everyone wasn't so touchy. if you are willing to come on a forum board and express your untraditional ideology, unabashedly, expect to be bashed on occasion. 

[janine]

Or even more spectacularly, your traditional ideology.

[saved]

Or even more spectacularly, your traditional ideology.

i will remember that as i pray in tongues and lay hands on the sick this morning at my anti-sabbath church. oh, by the way, we also have church on saturday's, monday, wednesday, and thursday. yep, i'm traditional. am i being touchy?  thanks for the happy fathers day thread janine.

[janine]

I, too, find it difficult to limit worship to one day. 

I added an article about a father-son racing team I admire to that thread.

[shoshanarose]

Dear Janine and Saved:

As a sabbatarian, I worship God everyday; I can go to a Sunday church... that is not a problem for me at all, I honor Him by observing the sabbath  as well...I'm sorry that you don't understand what we are trying to say. It is hard, I know.

I am used to being "bashed" for my faith in Christ by non-believers. I have been a Sabbatarian and have taken much scorn by non-sabbatarian christians and I am not touchy about it. I expect them to not understand any theology; however unorthodox to other christians...

I really am dismayed at the brazen bashing of those who, like me may

express your untraditional ideology, unabashedly

I am not ashamed of my Lord or what He has called to me do, and as Christians we are "salt and light"...

I don't expect it from others who name themselves as followers of Christ...or  any forum that is named "Grace-centered".  

[janine]

I do understand what you are trying to say.  There is nothing wrong with keeping a Sabbath.  It has many beauties about it.

I simply do not see the same emphases in Scripture that you see, for the commandment, necessity of it, post-Cross.  Sorry.

If "understanding" why you do it means you've dug up your Scriptures and traditions and they seem to you to support the idea, and you do it, and you've told me about it, and I can say, "Mmm-hmmm, yes, I can see that.  Is that how you understand that part?  My, my, that's interesting.  Nice to see someone wanting to increase holiness in this world.  Dedication to God is a beautiful thing" --

But yet I do not agree with all your interpretations, nor your reasoning, and thus I do not change my stance about it... well, then, I do understand.   I see you where you are.  I simply don't see the need to join you.

On the other hand, if "understanding" why you do it is the same as agreeing with you and then doing it myself, then no, I don't understand.

Which one did you mean?

[DCR]

From what I've noticed, being "brain-washed" frequently means that someone has simply adopted an ideology or become a part of a group we don't agree with.

The real issue should be the kinds of control tactics any given group employs on its members, if that is the case.

[janine]

So far as you could see something like that in a print medium, yeah, that's what it makes me think of.

Even if somebody has "adopted an ideology or become a part of a group" I do agree with, or at least have no disagreement with, the... scent? flavor? feel? is funny, sometimes.

But then I'm sure they think I am sold out adhered to brainwashed etc., to my convictions, too.

[marc]

This forum works best when people are listening to each other and engaging in real conversations, but occasionally people come here just to show others that they're wrong.  It's easy to get caught up in those kinds of conversations, but they're useless.  Noise. 

Unfortunately, people get by with obnoxious behavior by taking on ultra-sensitive demeanors and portraying themselves as the offended party.  I'm not accusing any person of being a troll, but I do want to say that every person who has ever visited this board as a troll has reported others' posts to the moderators. 

To be clear, I am not thinking about shoshanarose as I type this.  She didn't seem to come to this board itching for a fight.  But others have, some of whom are pretty active at this moment.

[chandrus]

God bless yu all.

[ravenlorre]

Call me paranoid, but I am getting the feeling that certain people are posting outrageous, antichristian garbage in order to stop a conversation that they do not like.  For example, I don't like Catholicism being "promoted" on the board so I simply post some inflammatory, slanderous remark, knowing that a good citizen with report the post and then the thread will be locked.

Hopefully, the good moderators here have a system in place to stop these kinds of attempts to shut down conversation.

blessings

[CSloan]

Call me paranoid, but I am getting the feeling that certain people are posting outrageous, antichristian garbage in order to stop a conversation that they do not like.  For example, I don't like Catholicism being "promoted" on the board so I simply post some inflammatory, slanderous remark, knowing that a good citizen with report the post and then the thread will be locked.

Hopefully, the good moderators here have a system in place to stop these kinds of attempts to shut down conversation.

blessings

Catholicism shouldn't be promoted on this board either way.

[janine]

Unfortunately, if someone's nutty enough to be disruptive for the sake of being disruptive, there's not much to do about it to stop a conversation rolling out of control but to lock up the thread, and,  depending on the circumstances, to ban the poster.

If someone's being disruptive simply by virtue of disagreement, that's another matter.

Either way -- make your interactions above reproach.  If you do so, you make yourself impressive to those of us with good sense, even if we disagree with you over some matter of teaching.

(Yes, I include myself among those with good sense.    )

I have occasionally edited a whole thread, to keep it up where people could read it, rather than a) deleting it for idiocy, or b) letting it stand with idiocy on it for posterity.  We cannot do that often, especially with long threads -- who has time?  Too much Real Life out here!

Anyway -- it's a rough science, an art always in development.  If we tightened up these boards with the type of moderation/management some other places practice, to keep a really iron grip on every single post --

If we did that, ravenlorre, considering that the owner of this place is connected to the American Restoration Movement, you might not be allowed membership at all.  Much less a chance to say your piece about Catholicism as a practicing Catholic.

[Jon-Marc]

If everyone just did as I do and ignored such people, they would get discouraged and leave. Why stay if they can't get anyone rilled enough to reply to them? Unfortunately, people will always take the bait, and these people know that.

[janine]

One factor to consider in the mix is how much responsibility do we, as members/posters, and do we, the moderators, have toward the "weaker brethren", when it comes to the effects of purposefully disruptive posters, or even accidentally disruptive ones.

And I'm not using "weaker brethren" in a pejorative way.  You know, there really are silly people who argue about silly stuff and want everyone to kowtow to their preferences, wrapping up their arguments with an appeal to everyone having to be nice to the weaker brother.  I don't mean them.

What I'm getting at here is the real, true factor of some folks being weak, needing protection, deserving some consideration.  As in tender new converts, or as in people who've been terribly hurt in life and who then are tender for a while, or as in limited folk who just simply don't have it in them to ever grow a thicker skin - people who will always be tender.

It's for them there does need to be some consideration.  And only for them. 

The rest of us just need to grow a spine and skip irritating posts the same way we avoid reading a newspaper article we aren't interested in.

[Jaime]

Hey Janine, that's a great idea for a screen name. I will consider changing my name to "weakerbrother".

That way people will try not to make me stumble!

[marc]

Now that you two are talking to one another directly, I would like to point out that when I am reading quotes, my eyes don't distinguish between "Jaime" and "Janine".  The style of the post usually helps me, however.

[janine]

When I see "Jaime", I hear "Hi-me" in my head, so that helps me not to think it was me that said... whatever he said.

I see "jai" and I hear "hi".

[DCR]

Yeah, the two names trip me up sometimes too.  There have been times when I thought Jaime said something outrageous, and I thought, "That doesn't sound like Jaime." 

Then, I realized... oh that was Janine.   

[janine]

Hey, Jaime's not dull and boring!

[Jon-Marc]

Many of the so-called "weaker brothers" are nothing more than unbelievers who just want to disrupt Christian forums. I think it's easy enough to tell the difference. A "weaker brother" is actually seeking answers to questions and doubts. The others are just seeking to cause problems. The first one I will try to help; the second one I will ignore. I believe the Holy Spirit gives us discernment if we will just listen and rely on His leading.

[janine]

I need Him to give me a desire to not bop the disruptive ones on the head.

[Nevertheless]

Ooooo those awesome moderator powers at work!

[Jaime]

Hey, Jaime's not dull and boring!

()¹⁰

[janine]

Ooooo those awesome moderator powers at work!

Not so awesome.  The X-ray vision gives me a headache.

[zoonance]

Hey Janine, that's a great idea for a screen name. I will consider changing my name to "weakerbrother".

That way people will try not to make me stumble!

I see you never changed your name!  :)

[Jaime]

Hey Janine, that's a great idea for a screen name. I will consider changing my name to "weakerbrother".

That way people will try not to make me stumble!

I see you never changed your name!  :)

Jaime does mean "weaker hombre" in Spanish, though!    Si

[sopranette]

Even God Himself can't repair them if they are determined to persist in staying broken.

I would respectably disagree with this statement.

love,

Sopranette

[nellersz_love]

I like this. I agree 100%

[llewksgood]

I think I'll stay home with the wife on valentine's day. After I finish work, that is.

[FollowerOfFaith]

 A-men there! I have talked to people on subjects I don't agree on, I just don't either-say anything and try and keep out of it if the person seems to have an anger on the subject. If they ask me if I agree, I either, change the subject or I tell them I don't have a comment on the subject. Most people get more angry if we say something against them, but if I knew the person real well, than i'd base my opinion on the subject. Most of the time I just try and stay out of it so there won't be an argument or, make them worse than they already are, again, it depends on if I knew the person or not, than I go from there.  just try to watch what I say or do. W.W.J.D.-what would Jesus do, that's my motto.

[chosenone]

Good advice here, but when you have been told that you are an adulteress about 40 or 50 times and are bing driven away form the one topic that really interests you, thEn what happens next? I am referring ot the marriage forums.
(I was totally and 100% faithful to my first husband for 25 years and am now 100% faithful to my second husband. My husband was 100% faithful to his fIrst wife for 23 years and has been 100% faithful to me. Both of our spouses committed sexual immorality.
Still I am called an adulteress).
I am now not able to post anything to do witH marriage and marriage issues becuase I will be condemned again (by 2 people who ARENT EVEN MARRIED)

[walker starr]

Janine < thank you very very much.  As a fairly new member i really needed that advice.  Your thoughts caused me to remember Matthew Ch5v25.

[Christian Commando]

If I were coming from a secular view point, I'd agree with the advice given to ignore them.

But coming from a biblical stand point, this is not to be done.

Most generally, I'm callec in where I help Moderate on another major Site, because the other Mods there, have a hard time controlling thier emotions also.

They call me in, because I talk lovingly and compassionately, yet strait forward, and when necessary, bluntly with them to get info across to them.

In 70 % or better cases, the people who are irritating a thread or posters, will either change to be more cordial, or they leave, because they cannot get to me.

You see, I don't take retorical remarks against as personal, because its not the person themselves meaning this, but the influence of satan or Demons over them convincing them to get irritating, retorical, etc.

I do not know why, but too many Christians have this "mentality" of the world, to think when another speaks out against thier view or them personally, its that person attacking them.

NO ITS NOT. Its Satan, trying to break down a Child of God's WITNESS OF CHRIST to the world or during personal interactions.

Every day, we go thru it, viewing things and thoughts popping into our minds, how to view such a thing, good or bad. The good is of God- (All that is good is of God), and all the bad thoughts are from Satan- (all that is evil is of the Devil).

To ignore another, leaves tem getting more irritated and trying to cause enough trouble to be noticed. Rather than lovingly and compassionately working with them, to possibly allow God to turn thier heart and mind towards Him and away from satan.

Jesus always spoke with His descentors when they interrupted Him. But... Christ used God's Word spoken in Truth, to nulify thier verbal retorts.

But now, people should be given tho, only like 3 chances, and if continue to cause problems, they can be mildly reprimanded first. If does not deter them, ban them then.

Those who think by ignoring another they are doing right, or above them by avoiding confrontation etc, are wrong. After all, Jesus even forgave those who saught to and crucified Him, while He hung on the cross. How is it, we should then "ignore" others who cause problems out of ignorance of Satan's influence over them at the time?

Remember, God even gave "Sodom and Gomorah" several chances to be found someone rightceous in it to save both cities. So, rather than "ignore', lets use what God gave us to try and allow God to do his work on another, but know also when to finally stand firm when its necessary.

Where i help Moderate, some Members question how we do this over the Christian Site. Yet they come out and verbally appreciate the fact we show balance in allowing plenty of freedom to speak out too, within boundaries God has set thru our Pastor for the Site.

We are not going up against another person in a confrontation, but its God against Satan and who is allowed to win, by our knowledge and wisdom of God's Word to be approved in rightly dividing Truth, for loving, compassionate defense of God and His Word against Satan.

Jesus used God's Word correctly when tempted of the Devil, so let us do so also, when confronted by satan thru others.

God Bless!!

[janine]

Yes, sometimes someone else needs to be told some things.  Yes. for their own good, because they are trapped in sin they cannot see or because they will destroy someone else.  Confrontation is a good thing, in its proper place, applied by someone who knows how to do it, with the right heart, etc.

But, once you speak your piece, many times perhaps if the opportunity is there... you might more profitably apply your corrections elsewhere.

And when others try to apply that process to you, it's a good thing to examine what they have to say.  After all, it might be YOU mired in unseen sin.

But, after you prayerfully consider things, and after you really throw yourself into the Scriptures to seek out everything you can about it... in the end, it is still you and God.  It's you and the Lord, the Father and Son and Spirit.  Those folks trying so hard to straighten you up may be doing the Lord's work, or may not...

All you can do is review everything in the light of Love and the light of the Word, make changes if you are convicted to do so -- bearing in mind what destruction you may cause by shifting everything in the world around you to match every new Scripture principle you think you've found --

And go on growing and serving the Lord.  That's all you can do.


(eta: we're working with a print medium, here; no body language, no tone of voice -- and no abililty to get down in the trenches with the person you are trying to "improve", or the person who is trying "improve" you... no ability to walk a mile in their shoes... no ability to walk beside them.  Cut the people some slack, folks, realise you do not KNOW their situation, and, not being God, you would not know all there is to know even if you WERE with them...)