Cupid's arrow flies freely in today's workplaces

[starla]

Cupid's arrow flies freely in today's workplaces

It is incumbent upon me, as the male half of Workbytes, to deliver news and information specifically geared to readers who will wear a favorite pair of underwear until all that's left is the elastic waistband.

Valentine's Day is next week. That means there are about 8 million guys out there who must decide whether to go public with their office romances. I say 8 million because that's the estimated number of workplace love connections that spring up every year, according to the American Management Association.

Don't deny it, dudes. Evidence shows there's a good chance you are involved in a love and/or really-really-like affair with someone at work. So says Workbytes' old friend Andrea Nierenberg.

She runs a New York consulting firm, the Nierenberg Group, and has written some big-selling books ("118 Savvy Networking Tips for Business Success" will be out in August). Nierenberg advises executives at places like Citigroup, Time Inc., Food Network, Lehman Brothers, Coach, etc. how to balance life and career.

Workplace romance, she said, is an "organic" byproduct of our workaholic society.

"Offices are often the easiest places to meet and fall in love," she told Workbytes. "You work together every day and spend a lot of time on projects and planning."

All that team building can turn the office into Cupid's personal petri dish.

Nearly three of four people said they've dated a co-worker, according to last month's Yahoo! Hot Jobs survey. More than half of those who haven't, said they would "if the opportunity presented itself."

Those percentages are up dramatically from a decade ago.

Experts say there are three valid reasons. For starters, people spend more time at the office, some of it actually working. There are nearly 20 percent more single people in the workplace. And most employers have only vague or nonexistent rules on co-worker coupling.

That's why most people (especially the married ones) try to keep it private.

Then along comes Valentine's Day, and the men are faced with a choice: Do I exhibit my feelings publicly and blow my cover? Or do I keep my office romance caged, like a baby dove that yearns to release its droppings of joy?

You might be saying: "Why is this only about men? This influx of cubicle canoodling is a two-way street, ya know."

And I might reply: "You don't know anything about Valentine's Day, do you? (And by the way, I intend to steal 'cubicle canoodling' for use later in this column)."

Valentine's Day was invented for one reason: So that men will buy romance-based consumer products for significant others and have them delivered to their place of employment.

Look around on Feb. 14. By noon, your office will look like a big, red, chocolate-dipped, greenhouse-slash-Hallmark store.

The rest of the day will be a mixture of curiosity, nausea, envy and anger, as in: "I wonder who sent the roses to (name)? I bet it was (name). Everyone knows those two are doing it. Puke. Gosh, I wish (name) would have sent me something. I'm going to kill (bad name) when I get home."

Which raises the question: Is co-worker canoodling bad for business?

Nierenberg says yes. And no.

She said affairs of the heart that take root at work should be taken outside as soon as they bloom.

In other words, don't bring it to the office. (Note: This also works for head colds, pets, new babies and Girl Scout cookies.)

Nierenberg says it is vital to treat the love affair as you would anything else at work: with professionalism.

"Stay within company and legal limits," she said. "Remember how quickly your dream romance can turn into a nightmare harassment case."

That means no playing "schmoopie" in the break room, know your company's policy, and if things turn rocky, don't try to deal with it between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. (or 4:25 if it's a government job).

If all works out, you could be among the 44 percent whose office affection turns into marriage.

In the meantime, enjoy those red silk boxers your special one picked up for you.

You, um, really needed a new pair.

Write Larry Ballard at The Des Moines Register, P.O. Box 957, Des Moines, Iowa 50304-0957.

[janine]

"Co-Worker Cubicle Canoodling".  That's a good one.

I'm already married and of course twice the age of most of the guys I work with -- but if I were younger and single I think the place I work would be a great place to review dozens of men for Dating Possibilities.  I mean, it is mostly men.  Oilfield related business.