Need a Little Advice

[OpDagger]

Hey there, I could use a little advice.  I'd like to start off by saying that I don't usually even consider talking about this kind of thing with anyone, I just feel it's a private thing and nobody's business.  However, this is the internet, so no one knows who I am anyway, so I think I can ask for a little friendly advice :)
I'm a 19 year old Christian guy.  I am a freshman in college.  About a month or two ago I broke up with my girlfriend, who had been cheating on me(not just dating someone else, she slept with him; and as a Christian I couldn't believe my "Christian" girlfriend could do such a thing)  It was at this point that I simply gave up and decided I was completely incapable of choosing who to date.  I decided to focus on school and forget about girls entirely for a while.  This was working great, I hadn't been this stress-free in a long while.  The problem arose not too long afterwards, however.  And really, I suppose it had been a long time in coming.  It really came fully into my mind though one day, while I was thinking about what I really wanted in a girl.  First and foremost, I determined to never date anyone again unless I was sure they were not just a professed Christian, but that their life showed it, big time.  There were a number of other criteria, of course, but they aren't really all that important, so I won't go into them all.  Anyway, I came to realize that a friend of mine that I've known for quite a while(and I had a crush on her for a time when we first met, haha), met all my criteria.  She really is the greatest girl I have ever known.  For a while I simply left it at that, thinking that I would really like to find someone like her to date.  Of course, it didn't take me long to realize that I really cared for her, and that she pretty much had everything I wanted in a girl.  She is single, which is what led to the previous line of thinking in the first place.  Ever since then, I've been trying to forget about her, to get her out of my head, but it's proven difficult.  I thought that if I just waited patiently, the whole thing would blow over and I could just forget about it and continue just being friends with her.  Unfortunately, it has just been getting worse.  And I have honestly tried everything I can think of to forget; I honestly just want to be friends with her, because I'm sure she doesn't feel the same way.  I've prayed about it often, asking God to please take her off my mind and just help me to focus on other things, but it hasn't seemed to help.  I guess my question is, should I continue waiting patiently, and this will all perhaps go away?  Or do I have to tell her how I feel?  I am sincerely terrified of making our friendship awkward and ruining it, I think I would rather just never say anything and remain good friends than risk ruining our friendship.  But I can't really go on like this, either.  What do you think I should do?

[Jon-Marc]

This won't help, but it's what I did. There was a girl (I was a lot younger) who I really liked since we were teens. I made the mistake of letting her know how I felt. She broke my heart when she turned me down, and I haven't seen her since.

Still, I would tell her how you feel. If the friendship ends because of it, then maybe you weren't really friends in the first place.

[Jess]

Here's the way I see things in my personal life. I am single, God knows that between work and school I don't have time to go out and meet people. The way I see it, when God is ready for me to be with someone he will send them to me. And I think he will when the time is right.

[OpDagger]

Ya, I really don't think it would end the friendship, it might make it a little awkward though, at least for a while.  I think I'm going to stick to not telling her for now, I really don't see how it would make things any better.  I just wish I didn't think about her so much, haha.  Ultimately, I've been praying about it a lot, and tonight I actually hung out with her without feeling all weird, so that's a good sign.

[msbradley]

To me, it's all about honesty. If you have feelings for someone, you need to share them. You might learn they feel the same, or are open to finding out. You may find they don't have those kind of feelings, but, at least you will know.
There are those who will say they don't want to know. I feel they are just living in fear and would rather run from the truth than face it.
Like mentioned above, if they turn from you, they weren't your friend anyway. I'd rather know who my friends are and who aren't my friends.

[spurly]

My advice - don't tell her how you feel if it may ruin a good friendship, especially if you have not gotten any feelings from her that she feels that way at all.

[Richard]

It has been my experience that denial of the truth does not change the truth.

It has also been my experience that feelings change, truth does not.

Discerning feelings from truth can be difficult.

Pray for wisdom, guidance and courage.

Peace,