How do you Know if you are Destined to be Single or Married?

[angeleyes]

Good Afternoon,

I would like to start off by saying that I am single and I would like to be married. However, I do realize that God may not want me to be married.

I know that Jeremiah was commanded not to be married and Paul was never married and actually suggested it is better not to be married, but it is also better to marry than to burn in (hell or passion) I'm not sure which one it is, but you get the idea.

So now I am asking myself if God actually has ordained for me to be married or single for the rest of my life.

This is not only a question for me but for you as well.

So I pose the question " How do you Know if you are Destined to be Single or Married"?

[zoonance]

Most believe Paul was married, probably to an unbeliever who left him... and he remained unmarried.   The straight forward unfiltered answer would be "If someone ever asks you to marry you or not"  would be one clear understanding of 'destiny'  Beyond that, when one does ask... do you say yes or no?  At that point, I would assume you would have a pretty good idea by that point if that person will move you toward the cross or away from it.  (Unless someone just pops up you don't even know or care that much about asks you to marry you.  I had a friend who asked a girl that question even though she never would even go out with him!)  Don't say yes unless you really know he's the one you know is worth "for better or for worse" with.  Sorry, not much help I know in terms of His destiny for your life.  I have no idea.

[angeleyes]

I don't know, sometimes I just get this gut feeling that God doesn't want me to be married. Then other times, I feel as though my husband is right around the corner waiting for me. I am still young, but there are times that I feel old and I am starting to think that I need to work more on being completely submitted and committed to God before I can be married. The one that I want to marry and could actually see myself spending the rest of my life with for better or for worst may or may not already be taken. So I feel as if maybe God doesn't want me to be married because I can't see myself with anyone else. It's a scarey world out there and I don't want to marry the wrong person like my mother did and now she has to pay the price for marrying an ungodly man.

Like they say"an idle mind is the devils workshop" and this is true because now that I am not working at this time, I've been doing nothing but thinking about things like marriage and my ex who is the one that I want to marry, but to no avail can not even find. When my mind should be on God and how I can become closer to Him.

[zoonance]

I am married (25 years next month!) so I can only imagine the lonliness of being alone and wanting to marry.  I can say though "Be prepared - Be marriable yourself!"  That's at least the half of the desired relationship that you can do anything about!

[angeleyes]

zoonance,

Congrats on your upcoming anniversary.

What do you think about God preparing one for marriage by the relationship that we have with Him. Do you think that learning how to be disciplined, committed, and submitted to God prepares one for marriage?
If so how and if not why not?

[shoshanarose]

Hi Angeleyes:

I was married before; my ex-husband committed adultery but I did not divorce him;he chose to divorce me when he knew that he would have to face himself and the consequence of his sin. (breach of trust, betrayal, financial irresponsibility, lying, etc. etc.) I was "kicked out" so to speak. It was very sad for him, he has not remarried, etc. No children. I was "set free" as he was an unbeliever or he could not have divorced with and caused me to commit adultery if he would have been.  

I asked this question of myself before I married him and then I prayed again after the divorce and asked the Lord to help me see His plan for me...I prayed that if He wanted me to be married again that it would be for the sake of ministry. For me, marriage is a ministry and with the music and prayer ministry that the Lord has given me and I would only want to be married if He could use it to fulfill His plans for my life...and so I prayed that I would only marry a REAL Christian if I were to be married again. I wanted a man who loved God with his whole heart, who loved His Word and was a good father and husband. I had no children with my first husband. I was hoping that I could have children so I just "laid" it before the Lord. I had a LONG list of what I wanted in a man, a husband, a lover and life partner and friend. My Christian sisters said "you are asking too much!". I said, I am NOT asking too much of God, He can do anything that He likes to do and I am just letting him know what I would like.

Do I think that I was destined to be married? I honestly did not give it much thought. I thought that I was going to marry a college sweetheart; we dated 3 years and then I started dating my husband on the rebound and then we married and then divorced. I think I "got ahead" or got out of God's will for a time (maybe...much was accomplished in ministry and life and spiritual growth...only God knows for sure.)

Did I think that it was in God's plan for me to remarry? Some would say that I should not remarry but remain single...my husband did not die therefore I was not free to remarry. I believed that God would not have brought my wonderful husband to me if I were not free to remarry... (and He did...I was in a church 40 miles N of where I lived and my dh and sd came from 40 W of the church...the Lord brought us together...I had prayed and believed) and we quickly "fell in like", ministered together and spent time together and 3 months after being divorced for almost 2 years, we married. We met in June, began dating in November and married Jan. 29th of the next year.

I am so blessed because I prayed, trusted God and waited for Him to bring my husband to me. We could look at His permissive will vs. His perfect will but we could just trust God to do in and through us all that He desires when we trust and obey His word...that is our destiny for sure!  

[angeleyes]

 

Praise God and Congrats to you too.

Your story has really helped to encourage me. It is my prayer that God continually blesses you and your new husband with joy, peace, happiness, and prosperity for the rest of your lives together.

I pray that God does somewhat the same thing for me too.

[zoonance]

zoonance,

Congrats on your upcoming anniversary.

What do you think about God preparing one for marriage by the relationship that we have with Him. Do you think that learning how to be disciplined, committed, and submitted to God prepares one for marriage?
If so how and if not why not?

Yes.  If you can be disciplined, committed and submitted to the one you can not see, you will be prepared for the one you can see.

[ConnieLard]

zoonance,

Congrats on your upcoming anniversary.

What do you think about God preparing one for marriage by the relationship that we have with Him. Do you think that learning how to be disciplined, committed, and submitted to God prepares one for marriage?
If so how and if not why not?

I know for sure that learning how to be disciplined, committed, and submitted to God prepares you for a better life whether you are married or not.  You are on the right track with these thoughts.  I would say, too, to learn to be content with your current station in life.  You are more likely to attract the right kind of partner if you are happy and at peace with yourself as a single.  (I'm not intimating that you aren't happy and at peace with yourself, btw.)

[angeleyes]

I am very thankful that I have learned to be content in whatever state I am in. I just have a lot of love to give and I want someone other that God and everyone else to share it with.

My most recent relationships haven't been that successful. So there have been times when i feel a little discouraged about marriage and wether or not God has ordained or predestined for me to be happily married.

[janine]

I don't think He necessarily does that.

I do know that if you continue happy and content in your single life, making the most of yourself and your talents, and using all that love you have to give in the ways that are open to you --

Then you will be attractive friend material, ministry material, neighbor material, workmate material, mentor material, you name it.

And all of that will add up to being good lifemate material, should you meet the right person.  Not that I think God has one special person for you.  I rather  believe that God wants to work on you to help you develop as one special person.