Truth about Sex?

[myczarina]

Hello, I have a question about sex that I have been searching online for with no luck at all.
I am just wondering about the bond that having intercourse creates between two people and what all that entails.  I know about "two become one" and that sex before marriage is sinful and such but I am wondering is the bond that is created after sex physical in any way?  i.e. We were taught in school that if you have sex with someone who has had others partners then you are essentially having sex with everyone that person has had sex with.  I am wondering (from a secular perspective) if this means any diseases  and such that your partner's partners had could be past to you or what exactly is meant by this.  Is there actually some thing else that causes this bond (scientifically?) or something that the secular world would acknowledge it?
I was just confused by this.

Thank you so much for your help and God bless.

[MarkHooper]

http://www.livescience.com/health/050531_love_sex.html

This article proves something to me about sexual bonding and why so many marriage fail.

[janine]

It's only a figure of speech, an illustration, to say that when you have sex with someone you are also having sex with everyone they ever had sex with, and everyone they ever had sex with, and everyone THEY ever had sex with.

But of course the reason why it makes such a good illustration is because it is also, in a way, true.  Diseases spread like crazy among a population where many people have sex with many other people.  Diseases that we humans catch from careless sexual conduct are very much on the rise these days, among young people especially.

The secular world does not want to acknowledge any kind of sex-related bond at all between people.  Only some sort of decision to be bonded based on emotional feelings of love -- maybe that they will acknowledge.  But they will not admit there is anything similar to what some religious folk might call a "soul-tie", and especially not anything like a covenant that makes two people "one flesh", married in God's sight -- just simply from being a sexually active couple.

There are many of us here on these boards who believe that two people who decide they are a couple, and who have sexual intercourse together, are, basically, married.  They've made a bond between themselves.  (Of course many of us also would go into detail about how there needs to be a wedding and so on, licensing if the law where you live involves a license, etc.)

So -- the way I see it, anyway, people who sleep with several partners risk a lot of disease; they definitely risk breaking their own heart and other people's hearts.  Even if they are "serially monogamous", with only the one partner faithfully for a period of time, a few relationships like that one after the other puts you in just as much danger as several "one night stands".  Just as much danger of breaking what could have been a real marriage before it had time to get off the ground; danger of heartache and heartbreak, disease, death, you name it.

And God help the inevitable children, so often aborted, or raised in very difficult mix-and-match homes.

Sorry I couldn't be any more informative, hope what we've got so far helps.

[myczarina]

I really appreciate your replies.  This helps me to put it into perspective so much better and I feel cleaner and freer from my past relationships.  I talked with my fiance about my thoughts and feelings, my online searching and this post and he prayed with me and agreed that I am truly set free from the things I did in my past because "if the Son sets you free you will be free indeed" and my sins have been washed away.

Thank you all so much for your help.  I really appreciate it.   

[janine]

Of course there are benefits to having been a perfectly pure virginal girl for God until marriage.  It's the best way  to go, there's certainly much benefit in it.

But, see, if the past has been less than spotlessly perfect, there is still a God waiting to forgive when you throw your stained self at His feet.  He can use us in glorious ways and restore to us "the years the locusts have eaten", even if we have a checkered past.

[Jeyemel]

Here's a story I was told once, and it has recently come back to mind as I am dealing with finding out that my wife had a sexual past that I never knew about.

Imagine the bond between people like a piece of duct tape wrapped around your arm.  When you share yourself with someone sexually, that is the bond that is made.  If you leave that person, the tape is ripped off and is very painful.  However, the next person you meet, if you share yourself with that person, the same piece of tape is used.  It still sticks, but if you were to break apart, that tape is ripped off again.  If you keep continuing this, the tape gets less and less sticky every time and eventually doesn't hurt anymore.  However, on the downside, when you meed the person God truly has in mind for you, your tape doesn't stick anymore and there is a bond that can never be had because it was wasted on so many others.  That, in first, is why its always good to wait until you are married. 
Nobody is perfect though, and everyone messes up, some just worse than others.  The good news of the whole thing is if you truly repentant of your ways and give yourself to God, He can give you a brand new piece of tape.


Hopefully the story makes sense and is a useful analogy.

[MarkHooper]

Imagine the bond between people like a piece of duct tape wrapped around your arm.  When you share yourself with someone sexually, that is the bond that is made.  If you leave that person, the tape is ripped off and is very painful.  However, the next person you meet, if you share yourself with that person, the same piece of tape is used.  It still sticks, but if you were to break apart, that tape is ripped off again.  If you keep continuing this, the tape gets less and less sticky every time and eventually doesn't hurt anymore.  However, on the downside, when you meed the person God truly has in mind for you, your tape doesn't stick anymore and there is a bond that can never be had because it was wasted on so many others.  That, in first, is why its always good to wait until you are married. 
Nobody is perfect though, and everyone messes up, some just worse than others.  The good news of the whole thing is if you truly repentant of your ways and give yourself to God, He can give you a brand new piece of tape.

Although I like this example it does not incorporate all motives for having a sexual experience. What is at the heart of bonding is emotion and frankly both men and women who enter a relationship without it, do irreversible damage to their sex lives and the sex lives of others. Just like there is phyiscal limitation to sexual feelings like spinal cord injuries so is it with emotions one can through carelessness or fate damage the emotional parts of the brain.

[myczarina]

Thank You, Jesus, for my new piece of tape...