God told us to completely seperate...

[Matt89]

 Hi, I may not get any answers for this but I really need to get this off my chest because it seems like me and my ex-girlfriend are the only ones dealing with this. She didn't become my ex because things between us didn't work out or we fell out of love for each other. Don't get me wrong we have had some big fights as most couples do but we are madly in love with each other. We had been together for four years, im 18 and she is 17. It had been a long distance relationship but I had no complaints, I flew to Florida accasionally to see her and except for 1 trip, everything worked out except for the fact that we decided to explore sexually. We didn't go as far as intercourse but that doesn't change the fact that we still sinned. Its nothing I'm proud of but I think its an important detail to maybe find some answers.

Despite all the fights we may have had, we both love each other more than life itself. Last week my ex called me and said that she was going to a Christian camp. I told her thats great and to have fun. She had come back Friday and didn't call, I was gone all day and by the time I got back I figured she had gone to bed. The next morning I woke up to the phone ringing and answered it. She sounded so sad, I asked her whats wrong and that she could tell me anything. I was half asleep still so I only caught half of what she said, the beginning was "I don't know how to tell you this.....but..we can't be together anymore" at this point it just didnt click in and I was silent. She begged me, "say something because I don't know if this is the last time we will ever talk". My heart just stopped for a few seconds as I bolted out the door to have a private conversation with her.

She had told me about the end of the sermon the camp had and about going up to have prayer. She felt God telling her to end everything with me. We both started crying and to make a long story short, we had about a two hour goodbye remembering all the fun times we had, our first kiss, etc. As im writing this now, tears are starting to build.

Its been two days since I talked to her and the whole conversation is haunting me. I know what we did while I was with her in Florida was wrong and I can see why God is punishing me. However, this is just killing me. Before this, I admit that I was drifting away from God. I didnt pray anymore, ask for forgiveness for anything I did wrong, because I felt that my life was going great. Now im heartbroken and I feel like she had been torn away from me and I have to act like she no longer exists.  I cant get her out of my mind, the last conversation we had is haunting me as well as great memories of her. Without any other options I find myself running back to God with questions I know may not be answered.

I beg Him to forgive me, and to tell me what I have to do to get her back, and sometimes just begging Him to return her to me. I tried talking to other people about this but no one seems to understand what im going through. Its one thing to go through a breakup, but its another to have to stop talking to the person you love altogether. I'm so scared that I may never get to talk to her, or see her again. I keep trying to remind myself of Job, of how he lost everything and God returned it all. However, thoughts run through my head that he had gotten a different wife, and I want the same girl, not another one.

Everybody seems to expect me to just get over this like its nothing, but its so hard when I know that she still loves me and that things would work out for us and still not be able to talk to her at all. All I want is help and it feels like God isn't listening to me. This hurts so much, she wasnt only my girlfriend but my best friend. Every other friend I had I lost communication with and I just feel so alone. People keep saying that there are other girls, im tired of hearing that because I just want her. To me there aren't any others that compare to her.

I'm so depressed that I just stopped caring about everything, my job, playing my music, my life. I also find myself just angry at everything at times. I start to take it out on God but  I'm reminded that this is my own fault.

During our last conversation together she had reminded me of stories of couples being seperated and brought back together by God. She told me that her grandmother has a very strong relationship with God and is sure that we will be back together. Im hoping and praying thats true. I just wish I knew how long I would have to wait, or what I would have to do to get her back.

Im afraid that I'll never get over this just because I know she still loves me. I really need some help, some advice, prayer, anything. Im about ready to lose my mind. I really want to know if this is a punishment for what I did (which I would understand) and if we will ever be back together again... I know that nobody can answer that. However, right now I'm praying that maybe somebody with a strong connection with God can give me some answers to my questions.

[Pokhara]

I know what we did while I was with her in Florida was wrong and I can see why God is punishing me.

God does not punish us for our sins.  Check John chapter 9 if you have any doubts on this matter:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%209%20:1-3;&version=31;

As for begging God for forgiveness, then don't worry.  If you are sincere, then you are already forgiven.  Luke 11 is relevant here:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2011%20:9-10;&version=31;

[tracice]

I know what we did while I was with her in Florida was wrong and I can see why God is punishing me.

God does not punish us for our sins.  Check John chapter 9 if you have any doubts on this matter:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%209%20:1-3;&version=31;

As for begging God for forgiveness, then don't worry.  If you are sincere, then you are already forgiven.  Luke 11 is relevant here:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2011%20:9-10;&version=31;

you dont  have to beg God. Just ask and believe in your heart. Have faith.  God knows what is best for you we don't know what is best for us.  You are so very young and so is the young lady.  When the time is right God will step in. You can be sure he is watching over you.  Even when things are great in your life you still need to pray and praise God for his  love .  You may have started leaving God out. He should always come first.  God Bless

[Petals]

It sounds like at camp your girlfriend got convicted of what you both did and wants to keep her distance from you to keep from sinning again.  I do hope you will honor her desire to try and stay clean before the Lord by not pressuring her into getting back together.  If it's meant to be, God will work things out when you are both stronger and maybe not as apt to give in to lust.    In the meantime, put God first, and develop a renewed relationship with Him.  He doesn't want us to have any other gods, but Him, and too often we err and worship people and things, like music, video games, etc.   

I have had my heart broken more than once, and have even broken a few hearts, so I can relate to the awful heartache you're feeling now.  One thing I know for a fact, is that it will get better in time.  Take one day at a time, occupy your mind with other things:  get involved in church activities, set goals for your life and create a plan to achieve them.  Before you know it, your heart will begin to heal and you can things through different eyes.  You're only 18, and Lord willing, have a long, great life ahead of you.  God has a plan for your life, and it is good!   

 

[fanuvmxpx]

I have went through similar trials in my past relationship. I found myself praying the exact same things you were, "what do I need to do to be with the woman I love?".

As it turned out, I was praying incorrectly, I shouldn't have been asking God how i can get closer to my ex, I should have been asking how I could get closer to Him so He could draw both of us together.

Long story short, a two year relationship ended, and I was single for a year. It was the happiest I had been in my life so far, and I was 100% content being single, enjoying my walk with the Lord, and my own hobbies and ambitions.

In October 2006, I met my wife at college. I didn't even want a girlfriend, didn't need one, and then God spoke to me and said "Exactly, you don't need one, you only need Me, and this person is the woman I have matched for you."

Now, its still possible that your life will be with your ex, but I hope my experience can help you with some insight, that it will work out with God as your focal point.

God Bless, -Steve

[kristinaf]

Well...I have been there my little friend.  I ended a relationship with a man I loved because I felt that God was finally calling me to completely cut ties with this person.  We broke up.  He actually broke up with me first but we were still on and off.  We had a sexual relationship outside of marriage.  Bad.  I knew it was against God and still I kept going with it.  Very bad.  Until I finally decided that my pull towards God was stronger than my pull towards the relationship and I cut things off.  Good. 

I, in a way, know what your ex-girlfriend was thinking.  She must have been feeling incredibly guilty about the sexual part of your relationship.  I think that's probably it.  Have you tried talking to her about this?  See if you could slow things down to a non-sexual pace and see if she could try the relationship again?  Four years is a long time.  I know you are heartbroken.  Things with her may not work out.  I am very sorry to hear about your story.  I was very heartbroken when I walked away (finally) from my two-year relationship.  I still don't know if it was the right thing to do, although it probably was because the relationship itself was a lot of heartbreak.  You will eventually get over her, though, if things  cannot be reconciled with her. It took me about a year to get over my ex.  I am now ready for a relationship with the right (Christian) guy.  If he ever decides to show up!
  I wish you luck and hope things work out for you....I know how you feel. 

Kristina