cursed by a 1st grade teacher who never married....i am single 39 and a virgin

[l.a.providence]

Hey,

i've never posted here, but i am 39 and a virgin....
sort of proud of that though and sort of discouraged...
more discouraged, really, but i am grateful around people who slept around a lot and say, 'wow.. i really respect you for that'.

anyway, i attract women who get married and then look at me and say, 'wow... i wish i'd met him or married someone like him'.

that sounds bad, but i get good reactions from married women....

but darn, i need a single girl... would like to marry a virgin, but what are the odds...?


anyway, i feel cursed because i had a 1st grade teacher who had a big influence on my life... and i don't really remember
much about her except that she gave me the lead role in the school play and took me out in the hall one day to talk to me about my life... well actually i told a girl on the front row she was pregnant.. gosh, i didn't even know what pregnant meant in 1st grade, i just spouted off the first thing that was humorous i guess... but anyway, she took me out in the hall and told me i was smart and she wanted me to go to college and finish one day... which i did recently....


i never accounted the curse to her, but i remember every now and then that she told us she was never married... don't know if she was a virgin... he he i thought all 80 year old women in the 70's were virgins.


anyway, i hate this curse.... and when people bring up paul... i hate their guts.... as a matter of fact, i hope paul slept with all kinds of women before he met jesus....


Well,, if anyone wants to help here and give advice, that would be nice....


really, it stinks being a virgin!... not because of anything but i have the same desires that everybody else does... yet no natural part of life involved like God mentions,,,

    you know he did say in proverbs,,, it is a good thing for a man to find a wife..


and he says elsewhere, that a man who finds a wife is blessed by God.


sooo.. i don't believe in Paul theology....



by the way.. i'm not a nerd... i had many popular girlfriends at one time.... dated a girl who was miss junior miss whom i loved.
and dated several other girls in college who were very hot..

this astronomy thing is just a hobby i took up from my high school days recently.....




p.s. you wonder how i could be 39 and a virgin though.... i was poisoned at age 23 and went through some turmoil...
developed a sleeping disorder and spent 7 years basically in a bed... didn't get my life back together until 1999 when i went
back to work... soooo... life just went ahead of me... i'm playing catchup now...

[anchorman]

Sex is overrated. I mean it's great- but it's overrated.

The biggest problem with sex is it provides a false foundation. Here is basically the story of my romantic life (this is all before becoming a christian) Meet a woman. Have date. Try my best to be witty and charming. Try to end the night with a kiss. Have another date- push the envelope further. And then further. And then further. Eventually that good night kiss turns into she's spending the night- 3 or 4 days a week.

Here is the problem. That doesn't last- for anyone- but this is how I have defined our realtionship. So when things slow down- I convince myself there's a problem "what's wrong. We use to have sex all the time- and now an entire month has gone by. Is there a problem? Is she seeing someone else?"

Inecitably it becomes aparent that other than sex the two of us had nothing in common.

Look for love. Look for a Christian woman who understands the choices you made.( And it was a choice- I don't care if you spent 7 years in sleeping, your abstence was a choice- and the right choice.) Build a foundation of a frienship with the woman- consentrate on sharing your walk. You get that down your in the clear. Sharing your body is the easy part.

[l.a.providence]

thanks anchorman!

i do believe you're right....

there's been many chances for me recently to date and mess around with women...

but all i see is what vicious women these people are?

i've seen way to many vicious women tear down my friends and end up in divorce.


what is it with girls?  it seems to me they just want to screw around, have a baby, defeat their husbands, taking their money and
their lives and personalities,,, divorcing them, and then sitting in a pew where their husband was trying to build a church and grow spiritually,
and then they supposedly become the most awesome christian in the world without their husband.


i hate this about women... i see it often in the church....


give me a woman who plays games and i think she's someone who needs as my african american friend used to tell me
, 'you need to beat your woman'.



the bible tells us what kind of woman we need to marry....


it's just that none of those are good looking.... lol

[anchorman]

I think you have greatly misinterperted what I said.

In no way shape or form did I mean to imply that women are to blame for the current dating atmosphere. In no way, shape or for did I mean to imply that the women I have personally dated (i've never been married) where to blame for my failed relationship. "The fault, dear Brutus," as Shakespare wrote " is not within our stars but within ourself." That is not to say that my exs don't have areas that they need to work on- but what good does focussing on that do for me. I need to keep my vision on my own walk- and correct my own problems.

And as for your friend, the one who made the comment about "beating woman"- If the man was serious I would put an end to that friendship. Even if he wasn't serious I would still end it. Some one who makes fun of domestic vioolence is not the type of person who will further your walk

[l.a.providence]

i'm sorry, i said that in jest,,,, he doesn't really beat his woman....

he says this jokingly.....

i would never strike a woman either......

i said a lot of that in a trite manner... but i have seen 2 relationships in our church where the women led their husbands away from God
only for their relationship to end in divorce and sit in church later as very righteous.
this bothers me! 


i'm looking for a quality relationship...
a christian wife...

[vivalavida123]

I know that you guys are having a little convo here, but if I can add my two cents.

I was in your same situation, with going from girl to girl and finding myself in that same situation, but one day I was praying and really felt God was telling me to give my "girl" situation to Him.

At first, I thought I had given it to him, but then another girl came across my path and I went right back down the same road.

Finally, when I finally gave it up to Him and stopped trying. He brought a girl in my life, who surprisingly I did not want to kiss her at all. But not because she's ugly, just because I don't want to go down that same path.

We have been dating for  year, and plan on getting married next summer.

I know you're frustrated, but try truly giving it up to God, and see what happens.

[karrietex]

I completely understand where you are coming from LAP.

I am a 37 yr old virgin and I am right there with you.

[internationalelf]

I'm a 35 year old virgin, mostly because of social phobia and shyness I don't meet many women.

Also most of us Christians who are old virgins have extremely high standards and so very few of the people we meet are acceptable to us.

[MoparMan2011]

Wow and I thoght I was the only guy having a problem finding christian girl! Granted I'm only 18.. but that puts me in a rough spot with girls because I don't drink or party... and as most know, most girls my age that are going to college and stuff, that's all they want to do! I feel like I may be lonely for quite some time if this trend keeps up... lol

[internationalelf]

I know that you guys are having a little convo here, but if I can add my two cents.

I was in your same situation, with going from girl to girl and finding myself in that same situation, but one day I was praying and really felt God was telling me to give my "girl" situation to Him.

At first, I thought I had given it to him, but then another girl came across my path and I went right back down the same road.

Finally, when I finally gave it up to Him and stopped trying. He brought a girl in my life, who surprisingly I did not want to kiss her at all. But not because she's ugly, just because I don't want to go down that same path.

We have been dating for  year, and plan on getting married next summer.

I know you're frustrated, but try truly giving it up to God, and see what happens.

"giving it to God" doesn't mean doing nothing. Telling someone who has never dated to just continue to sit there and do nothing is really bad advice.

People achieve success by one reason and one reason alone: TRIAL and ERROR.

You found the right girl, but only after trial and error. Your efforts eventually pay off.

Stories like this make it seem like God will do everything for us and we don't have to do anything at all, which isn't true. At some point, you had to ask her out, right? At some point, you had to make a move of some kind. At some point, you decided that after a period of "not trying" that it was time to try and win this woman.  You chose to pursue a relationship with her just like everyone does, Christian or non-Christian. You are getting married to her because you chose to pursue her and you did the work of winning her. She didn't come delivered to you from God like a UPS delivery. Christian singles think they don't have to lift a finger or make any effort at all. it might seem to you that it was effortless, but the facts are that you did indeed extend an effort. Waiting on God doesn't mean doing nothing. it means seizing the opportunities that come.

people remain single because they have neglected to make any effort. God will not reward the lazy, he will only reward those who try and fail and try again.