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where are all the single christian men??

Started by ImNotThatGirl, Thu Aug 21, 2008 - 00:01:39

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ImNotThatGirl

i just feel sometimes like i have no options in this garbage dump of a world!

a bunch of my friends are getting married soon/have gotten married already, and they have found very nice christian husbands! where is mine???

granted, i am only 22, but i know that if i found the right guy, i would be ready to get married. and i have lived a long life in my 22 years.

i mean, where do you christian guys hang out?? because i need to be there!

wow, i sound really desperate, don't i??

Bon Voyage

Quote from: ImNotThatGirl on Thu Aug 21, 2008 - 00:01:39
i just feel sometimes like i have no options in this garbage dump of a world!

a bunch of my friends are getting married soon/have gotten married already, and they have found very nice christian husbands! where is mine???

granted, i am only 22, but i know that if i found the right guy, i would be ready to get married. and i have lived a long life in my 22 years.

i mean, where do you christian guys hang out?? because i need to be there!

wow, i sound really desperate, don't i??

I am married, but there are single men right on this message board, and some may be wondering where the single Christian ladies hang out.

internationalelf

Single Christian guys usually hang out at churches. unfortunately, i've seen that christian singles are reluctant to date people in their churches because if they break up then they will have to see eachother in church and it will be awkward and then one of them will feel they have to leave and find another church. it is really silly.

markallen


stevehut

Thatgirl, this might be a silly question, but...

Do you attend a church?  Is it a congregation of 12 people??  What is your situation?

Bon Voyage

A study was done recently and printed in the Times of India, that due to the "fatherhood effect," males practicing polygamy live longer.  And I do only have ONE wife, so............

stevehut


ImNotThatGirl

Quote from: stevehut on Thu Aug 21, 2008 - 18:16:46
Thatgirl, this might be a silly question, but...

Do you attend a church?  Is it a congregation of 12 people??  What is your situation?

i just graduated from college and am currently working and applying to veterinary school, so for the time being i am living at home to save money. i live in a small town too. all of the guys around my age are away, either in college or living elsewhere. so yes, i kid you not, there are no guys my age (early 20's). i barely even have friends my age who are nearby at the moment.

i apologize for sounding so desperate in my original post lol. rereading it now, i really sound more desperate than i am.

Imabear

Well if/when you go to veterinary school you'll most likely be in a bigger town.  With all the intensity of vet school, you'd probably be better off without a signigficant other.  (I hope that doesn't sound too harsh.)  I met the guy I married when I was about your age, and looking back, I think I was in too much of a rush. 

MegaJedi

Quote from: ImNotThatGirl on Thu Aug 21, 2008 - 00:01:39
i just feel sometimes like i have no options in this garbage dump of a world!

a bunch of my friends are getting married soon/have gotten married already, and they have found very nice christian husbands! where is mine???

granted, i am only 22, but i know that if i found the right guy, i would be ready to get married. and i have lived a long life in my 22 years.

i mean, where do you christian guys hang out?? because i need to be there!

wow, i sound really desperate, don't i??


You do not sound desperate.  I am a single CHRISTian male, but sadly at 35 I am an old single CHRISTian male...lol.  But if you are looking for friends let me know.  I am here for all my friends.

Dave Slayer

I am single too but I am 31 and probably not your type  ::frown::

::smile::

Wycliffes_Shillelagh

Quote from: Dave Slayer on Mon Oct 06, 2008 - 23:21:53
I am single too but I am 31 and probably not your type  ::frown::

::smile::
And what type is that?

Bon Voyage

If you want to live what seems like a long life, try being married.   ::eatingpopcorn:

Jon-Marc

Quote from: Gary on Thu Aug 21, 2008 - 00:28:49

I am married, but there are single men right on this message board, and some may be wondering where the single Christian ladies hang out.

I gave up looking more than 20 years ago. Of course, many would say I had my chance with two marriages that failed. Those miserable marriages are the reason I realized that I'm better off single.

For those who are still looking, I hope that God leads you to the right one the first time. There is no one for me, and I should have stayed single and saved myself a lot of misery.

decreeit2b

I had to  laugh to myself when I saw the title of this message because me and my friends often wonder the same thing. I've walked in your shoes and know how you feel when it comes to watching all of your friends find godly husbands and get married or engaged, etc. What has helped me is really focusing on getting myself together and preparing myself to  be what it is I'm praying for in a mate. There is nothing worse than to be unprepared when your opportunity or blessing comes! Psalm 84:11 is one of my favorite verses "No good thing will the Lord withhold from those who walk uprightly." If the Lord hasn't caused your mate to "find you" yet then its not the right time because the Word says He doesn't withhold the good things so I would encourage to pray ask the Lord to show you the areas He wants you to work on as a young woman of God so that you can be prepared for Him first and then for the mate God has chosen for you. Also in regards to needing to be where the men are remember God doesn't need our help as women in finding our mates. Proverbs 18:22 says "he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." The Lord will see to it that your husband finds you. Be encouraged and God Bless! A good book to read that I just started is "Before You Do" By TD Jakes.

RAMS

Quote from: ImNotThatGirl on Thu Aug 21, 2008 - 00:01:39
i just feel sometimes like i have no options in this garbage dump of a world!

a bunch of my friends are getting married soon/have gotten married already, and they have found very nice christian husbands! where is mine???

granted, i am only 22, but i know that if i found the right guy, i would be ready to get married. and i have lived a long life in my 22 years.

i mean, where do you christian guys hang out?? because i need to be there!

wow, i sound really desperate, don't i??

Hello dear,

No, you are not desperate nor are you in any way out of line, since:

"The supreme happiness of a human being, is the absolute immutable conviction they are loved by another......."

Amen.

I'm not sure how to answer in a carte blanche way to provide a map of heart to the question. I can speak personally however.

In that, my parents are an example:  they met when they were both 20 and 21. They dated for 10 days.  They were married for 57 years. At the end, when daddy and I put her ashes in the river, The Stillwater, that ran through the ranch. Daddy and I watched her ashes swirl away in the stream.  He then said, quietly, through the coming emotion, "Son, the only thing wrong with that marriage is it was too f__king short!"

I replied "oh daddy", and we both held each other and cried.

I am a product of that union, and I am my father's son.

I was married once, to my deceased wife of 15 years my junior. She was 20 and I was 35.  She was Asian-Mexican and truly beautiful and my utter delight in every way. Wew both were overjoyed with each other. We used to say, "make love, cook and laugh with abandon", when discussing why we never werr apart for those 9 years we had together.

So, modernism and the "de-maling" of the men in our culture (see:  'Save The Males' - http://www.savethemales.ca/index.html), the men have been demonized to the point they simply have either withdrawn, gave up, replaced romance for sports and booze or the other 3 avarices of man, or, they just simply fled the country.

This has made it rarer for men to be available and also, the more that this culture, so called 'Christian culture', wants to make men into 'girls', the more that the Wild of Heart male is harder to find.

For me, I traffic in adventure, outside the country to the far sides of the world. I seldom come back to the US.  I have not dated an American female since a junior in High School. It is a very cold place.
The man that would find you and come to your gate and try to enter into you, in the ways a man would do in the adventure of heart and romance, would be one that traffics on the edge of life and adventure, like going to a rodeo, an off road adventure park, an Archeology-Anthropology convention, a center where firemen hang out, or EMTs, or, maybe a website that caters to romantic Christian heart, without editing those men off the board.

You will find what you desire, as the Lord watches His daughters and knows who and what you need, when He sends you The Stranger At Your Gate........

Bless you maiden and meanwhile, read Isaiah 54:1-8, for all the maidens as yourself who are alone and trying to find heart and the other half of themselves.

Robert



corndogloaf


NeonZ

Quote from: ImNotThatGirl on Thu Aug 21, 2008 - 00:01:39
i just feel sometimes like i have no options in this garbage dump of a world!

a bunch of my friends are getting married soon/have gotten married already, and they have found very nice christian husbands! where is mine???

granted, i am only 22, but i know that if i found the right guy, i would be ready to get married. and i have lived a long life in my 22 years.

i mean, where do you christian guys hang out?? because i need to be there!

wow, i sound really desperate, don't i??

I'm single christian man. 24 years old. I with you, A lot of my friends are getting married too. Bad thing is that I had interest in some of them. They went on to be with other men and got married. Rejection is a mess. I'm tired personally. Only Christ can get me out of this because I tried to be the best that I can be and it's not going far at all. It feels like nothing changes, the processes go on and on. Faithful but the prize goes toward some other man. It hurts, feeling discarded and you feel less than human. You feel like left over trash. But that's not true. You are special, you have a purpose. Your man will come. Dreams will come true. Loneliness don't last always!

RAMS

Has anyone her read "Wild At Heart"?

Robert

fanuvmxpx

Quote from: Gary on Thu Aug 21, 2008 - 00:28:49
I am married, but there are single men right on this message board, and some may be wondering where the single Christian ladies hang out.

Their at Vanguard & Biola University in Southern CA. Enrollment is about 80% female, 20% male. "Ring before spring or your money back"

In regard to single christian males, I have a 23 yr old & 19 yr old brother who are both single. The eldest sings baratone in church choir and the youngest is playing NCAA soccer at present.

General hang outs for christian males...men's fellowships, singles fellowships, college/career fellowships, Eachother's houses playing Xbox & Playstation, Co-ed Church Softball teams & other sports activities, gracecentered.com, other online christian forums/groups.

Don't be afraid to ask "spoken for" christian guys for leads, I know the relationship status of all my guy friends. Ya never know who could introduce you to someone.

RAMS

Great replies everyone.  The sad thing for us ultra romantic types is:

So many maidens, so little time........

Robert

revd_tstar

I am a single Christian male. I'm 35 years old, and often wonder "where are all the single Christian women?"  ::headscratch::

Even as an ordained member of the church, I feel jaded. I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Because I have a pastoral duty in my small community, I'm not looked on as an available man. I'm not Roman Catholic, so I'm not married to the church, but I'm also not looked at as an available single man in my community.  ::preachit::

My married friends tell me "married life isn't all that its cracked up to be" to which I reply "then get divorced!" (of course, as an ordained man, I only say that jokingly)  ::pondering::

When I complain about being single and wanting companionship in my life,  married friends ask me "isn't Jesus enough?" How do you answer that question? My answer is "yes, Jesus is more than enough, but I want to share my life in Christ with a wife... just as Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, and Solomon did."  ::bowing::

How much more upright do I need to walk before the Lord blesses me with what is good?  ::prayinghard::

I realize that another of my problems is that I am everyone's friend. My last relationship ended because I was too nice.  ::frustrated::

chosenone

Quote from: revd_tstar on Thu Jan 08, 2009 - 15:22:35
I am a single Christian male. I'm 35 years old, and often wonder "where are all the single Christian women?"  ::headscratch::

Even as an ordained member of the church, I feel jaded. I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Because I have a pastoral duty in my small community, I'm not looked on as an available man. I'm not Roman Catholic, so I'm not married to the church, but I'm also not looked at as an available single man in my community.  ::preachit::

My married friends tell me "married life isn't all that its cracked up to be" to which I reply "then get divorced!" (of course, as an ordained man, I only say that jokingly)  ::pondering::

When I complain about being single and wanting companionship in my life,  married friends ask me "isn't Jesus enough?" How do you answer that question? My answer is "yes, Jesus is more than enough, but I want to share my life in Christ with a wife... just as Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, and Solomon did."  ::bowing::

How much more upright do I need to walk before the Lord blesses me with what is good?  ::prayinghard::

I realize that another of my problems is that I am everyone's friend. My last relationship ended because I was too nice.  ::frustrated::

Wow, in my experience in the UK the women always flock to any single Christian man in ministry! I wonder why it is different there?. My pastor was widowed about three years ago, and he is seeing a lady who has only recently got divorced, so no time wasted there!

revd_tstar

Quote from: chosenone on Thu Jan 08, 2009 - 17:15:38
Wow, in my experience in the UK the women always flock to any single Christian man in ministry! I wonder why it is different there?. My pastor was widowed about three years ago, and he is seeing a lady who has only recently got divorced, so no time wasted there!

One of the things about my community is that anything related to the church is seen as something that is too sacred to be touched by the laity. It isn't impossible for me to date within my community, but the elders would look sternly upon any lady who might be interested.

I would have to go outside of my community, for a length of time (year or more), and come home with a wife... in which case, she too would be considered sacred and set aside from the rest of the community.

Our pastors who are married, were married while away at seminary, or before they entered the ordained life.

I have visited communities like yours, and am very jealous.  ::blushing:: Perhaps your community can discern a call for me to pastor your church. LOL  ::pray::

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