Just stating a fact

[Hehealedme]

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[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

You gotta go after it.

Find some friends at work to take you out.
Join a ministry at church.
Join a small group or Bible study.
Take up an exercise regimen.

Once you force yourself to start exerting yourself, you will start to find that you have more energy.

BTW, that's experience talking, as I am...shall we say, newly single?  I'm having sooo much more fun than I did when I was married.

[Hehealedme]

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[Seeking]

I remember feeling like you during and right after my divorce.  I also had the same responses to friends that made suggestions.  "I can't go out because my son goes to bed at 9:00", "I can't meet people because...", and I TRULY viewed them all as brick walls.

Most consuming was the loneliness and desire for companionship.  I can honestly say, I was desperate.  I had my own reasons; I was convinced I had destroyed my son's life so I needed a man in my life to give him a sense of "family".  It took me THREE years to figure out that the men I dated sucked (I was still attracted to needy, abusive men), and that was worse for my "family" than just being alone.  I swallowed hard and said "I think God wants me to be alone right now".  Hated every second of it for awhile.

But it wasn't long before life got better because I had to "provide the life", and there was no longer anyone dragging me down.  It took me a few months to grow comfortable with it, and honestly I'm not 100% "comfortable" with it even now, but I ACCEPT it ok.  I can look back and see several things:

* I needed to be alone to learn how to create my own life and APPRECIATE that life before I could grow to be in a healthy relationship again.  I was looking to others to fulfill me, which only results in "taking" too much from that other person.  You have to be self-sustaining, and look to GOD for what you "need", before you can share in a good relationship.

* God had other reasons for changing my focus; within 6 months my son started having extraordinary health problems which has required a GREAT deal of time, which I wouldn't have been able to handle had I not taken the time to restore my relationship with him; and my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. God KNEW these things were coming, and where my focus needed to be.

* Most of all I realized that I was HAPPIER and that the ONLY difference in my life - was my attitude.  "I can't do this because" became "well then I can do this a different way".  "I can't do this because it takes too much of my time" became "I can do this if I just give it an hour here and an hour there".  I found solutions.

I am hoping you can relate to some of this and find solutions of your own.  I also know, I hated it when my friends told me things like this so you might just tell me to go jump in the lake.  Either way I wish you many blessings.

[Hehealedme]

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[Seeking]

I'm sorry, I never meant to imply you wanted a man in your life nor that you were desperate.  I was only trying to relay my experience in case you could draw anything from them.  I did not mean to offend you in any way.

[Hehealedme]

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[Seeking]

Good to know.  I am a fiesty bugger, rather passionate with my opinions, and that tends to get me in trouble, but my intentions are good.  I hope you find ways to feel better soon.

[Hehealedme]

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[Seeking]

Exciting, isn't it?

Way to go   

[stevehut]

Healed, you belong to a local church, yes?   

[Hehealedme]

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[internationalelf]

When I am not required to be at work, I have no life whatsoever...
Nowhere to go, no one to talk to, no one to see...
I am always too tired anyways so what's the use...
How do people manage to enjoy being single?...
It has been a while for me. Will I ever get used to it again?...
This is definitely not what I was hoping for...
Is this what God wants for me?...to remain alone for the rest of my life?...

I feel the same way. It sucks. :(

[Rahn]

I have never married. Some how I have found something of a life being single. I wished life had been different. I have been in an environment and still am to a degree where someone in my family is suffering due to one reason or another. Suffering makes me numb. I wonder if I an capable of falling in love. I see others in this forum who are numb because of divorce or other reasons. The idea of falling in love seems foreign. "What is the Lord's will for me?" Each person finds an answer for himself or herself.

I still believe in God. To some degree, I believe in the church. I am CoC. I am content to remain single and die single though I am open to change. However, any woman who comes into my life will have to bear something of a burden. Of course, I will take part in bearing the burden(s) of that woman. I will share in the joys and the sorrows within that relationship.

The question that everyone should ask "Is my heart open or closed to God bringing someone special into my life?" I am not a rich man nor a very poor man. I look at relationship in regard to economics and stability and faith. I could add more "ands." I have had one serious relationship, but there was too much happening in my life and her life during that time. We got pulled apart.

I wish I had the wisdom of the ages to answer the question "When Will I Be Loved?" for others. Unfortunately, I have not found that answer myself.