Love with different beliefs?

[mysunshine]

hey everyone,

this guy i've known (and liked) for a very long time asked me out, we "went out" for a couple of weeks but then he broke up with me because our faith slightly differs and we go to different churches. when we talk we often mention God and encourage each other to pray and look up different bible verses but i dont know if he believes, as i do, that i am saved and accepted by the Lord.

the other reason we broke up is that his mum doesnt approve of me. she wants him to end up with a girl that goes to their church. he never actually told her we were going out because he was so scared she was going to kick him out of the house or something, so he broke up with me because he couldnt stand the guilt of not telling her.

anyway, that was 4 or so months ago, and iv been slipping in and out of depression since then :( , he and i argue, then make up, but we dont seem to be able to just stop being friends. we finally started to get over each other, and talked about it... then a couple of weeks ago we spent time together again and completely fell for each other again. and now, the past couple of times we've seen each other he keeps cuddling me and holding my hand again. he said the other night that its too late now, we've messed our relationship up, but then last night he was cuddling me again.

im really scared because i dont know how its ever going to work. our beliefs arnt that different but he believes that they are. we both believe in dating that leads to marriage, and this is the first relationship either of us have been in. i want to suggest that we pray together about it, but i don't know if he even believes that God hears me! iv liked him for about 7 years, so maybe im just obsessed, i dont know, im not going to claim that this is "true" love. we just dont seem to be able to move on.

hes very firm in what he believes and so am i. i can see us working this out but he doesnt think we can. he says that just accepting what i believe as what i believe only works if we are just friends. we are both really really confused as to what to do. im sorry this is long, does anyone have any advice?

thanks
xx

[sopranette]

How different are your beliefs, may I ask?

love,

Sopranette

[Howdyboyalan]

Hey

How old are you? You seem pretty young, and they say your first seems like your only.

If you only saw him for a couple of weeks why are you so hung up on him? I suggest you just cut the guy loose, if he is still at the age where he has to report back to his mum, and worse, doesn't have the courage to stand up to her about you, then its trouble from the start. Being in a relationship is about having fun with the person, not being miserable right from the start (leave that until later!)

IF you also feel looked down upon because of your beliefs then there is another reason to just leave it. Plenty of good fish in the sea.

[Jon-Marc]

You don't want to get involved with a "momma's boy". You will be as miserable as he must be. No man can be happy letting momma run his life. You don't have to settle for what God doesn't want for you. If you're young, look around more and don't pick the wrong person. I know what it is to do that, and I suffered for it.

[Jesuslittlegirl]

My mother use to say, depression is feeling sorry for yourself.

Focus on Jesus Christ and do His will....helping the poor, widow and fatherless. Also witnessing to the lost world. people are going to hell by the thousands everyday while "Christians" are being caught up in fleshly relationships. Let God handle who you should be with while you do the work of the Lord. I have to do that too because I would love to be married. God created it so why not but I refuse to put love and energy for a man over Jesus Christ.

"If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother,
and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea,
and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26 (KJV)

Buy some tracts and burn testimonial cds of Bill Wiese, Mary K. Baxter and others. Maybe that will be a great thing to do with your friend instead of being caught up in your fleshly lust.

www.hisgracesavesministry.org

[mysunshine]

yeah we are young, hes 19 and im 17, i dont know y im so hung up on him, and yeah i think that im so confused because this is my first relationship... i dont know if what im feeling is because its the first or if this is something else... its all been going on so long that now im even more confused than before because im starting to believe him that it'll never work. i just dont know :(

i want this to work so much, sometimes i wonder if im ignoring what the Lords saying and just doing what i want... but then i think of all the things that have happened to get us to this point and im so confused at what is the right path.

hes not really a mommas boy... he just respects her opinion, and i think he needs to (mentally) grow up a lot more yet, coz he doesnt really stand up for himself with his family.

our beliefs differ by like, his church is really strict, the girls dont wear jewellery or makeup, wear long skirts and dress very very modestly and they dont watch tv, he says that ppl cant be celebs (for music or sports or anything) AND be christian (this is only an issue because im a singer/songwriter and want to end up with a record deal, but i believe this is me using my gifts for Gods glory) i believe that women should cover their heads in worship and shouldnt lead the church... stuff like that... though im not saying hes wrong and im right. i am always ready to listen to his explanations but he already seems to have it in his head that i will NEVER understand and he doesnt want me to "change" myself for him.

how can you tell when you're not following the path God wants you to? does it just feel wrong? because when i look at what we are gonna have to deal with before we could ever even get married it looks like theres so so many things in the way and its going to be so rough. should it just be easy if its the right path?

[Jesuslittlegirl]

mysunshine,

you need to focus on Jesus Christ. You are being tooo caught up in man. Reading the Word, attending activities at church can help you keep your focus right and volunteering. I do not think God is too pleased with the attention you are giving to a man who is not your husband.

You know you are not on the right path because that is the Holy Spirit that is making you feel that way. You are doing tooo much your own way and we all know that our own way leads to death. So let God lead and like I mention before just do the work of the Lord. At your age, your relationship with Christ and your education/career should be your focus. Life is just a blink of an eye..then eternity. Get to know God.