Help! I want a husband!

[kristinaf]

Help!  I am single and a Christian and am struggling because I want someone to marry.  I am sick of being alone.  Any ideas on finding the right like-minded person?  I pray and nothing seems to happen.  I am trying to be patient with God and stay in line with Him but I find it really hard sometimes.  (the patient part)  Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with being single and alone?  I live with my parents and that is nice (sometimes) because I am not totally alone.  But I would much rather be surrounded by a husband and a family.  I see girls in my church and friends of mine who are married and having kids and think to myself...when is my time going to come?  Say a prayer that I find a husband....sooner rather than later.   Hurrry God.   

[fanuvmxpx]

Help!  I am single and a Christian and am struggling because I want someone to marry.  I am sick of being alone.  Any ideas on finding the right like-minded person?  I pray and nothing seems to happen.  I am trying to be patient with God and stay in line with Him but I find it really hard sometimes.  (the patient part)  Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with being single and alone?  I live with my parents and that is nice (sometimes) because I am not totally alone.  But I would much rather be surrounded by a husband and a family.  I see girls in my church and friends of mine who are married and having kids and think to myself...when is my time going to come?  Say a prayer that I find a husband....sooner rather than later.   Hurrry God.   

Remember, it is God's timing and not our own. I spent 6 years in college, because I went part time and worked full time. At the time, I was upset over how long it was taking...but then I met my wife in my 6th year of school...so it all made sense. Are you able to attend any singles fellowships or career fellowships? Often times you'll find single guys there.

[Wordman]

Help!  I am single and a Christian and am struggling because I want someone to marry.  I am sick of being alone.  Any ideas on finding the right like-minded person?  I pray and nothing seems to happen.  I am trying to be patient with God and stay in line with Him but I find it really hard sometimes.  (the patient part)  Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with being single and alone?  I live with my parents and that is nice (sometimes) because I am not totally alone.  But I would much rather be surrounded by a husband and a family.  I see girls in my church and friends of mine who are married and having kids and think to myself...when is my time going to come?  Say a prayer that I find a husband....sooner rather than later.   Hurrry God.   

Being alone sucks...but in time, you will realize there is alot others things that suck more...like being torture by sadistic pink clowns that make you watch reruns of "When Harry Met Sally" for all time... .

Seriously, you are single, but you are not alone.  ""Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." -Hebrews

I am single, and struggle with it constantly.  But I have realize that it isn't being single that is the problem, it's because of my meaningless desires for  worldly things.

The only thing that is worth desiring for is the Kingdom of God.  There is no marriage in Heaven as it is on earth. We will be like the angels.

For now, if you want true joy just be content with what you currently have.  Craving and desires for worldly things lead only to more sadness.

If God gives you a husband, fine, if not, it should be ok too.   But be content with what God gives you and don't crave for more.

Think, lets say you get a husband...how long before you and your husband will say...now we need a bigger house. Now we need a bigger car, truck, boat..etc.    What good is having any of it?

What I am trying to say is, no matter what you get, you will always desire to get more.  You will always say, "I am not happy, but if I have this I will be."  And than you get that, and soon after, you will say the same thing again.


You are not alone.  I am your brothers, as you are my sisters; what can be better than that?

[kristinaf]

You're right about always wanting more....it's almost like a disease.  It's like what the Bible says not to do, which is covet.  In some ways, I covet when I see so and so with a husband and desire that for myself.  Maybe it is just not in the cards for me right now  Maybe God has some divine plan for me right now that I could not do if I was married and busy with the obligations of married life.  Maybe being single is exactly where God wants me to be right now.  I think "always wanting more" is very hard to deal with and makes us human.  It is a struggle sometimes to be happy with what you have, especially when you desire something else so badly.  (like a husband and a family).  But I can see where it leads....Once I have a husband, then I will probably think, now, if only we had a baby.  And once I get married, I will probably be like, ok, now where's my nice house with a white picket fence.  I guess these are the dreams little girls have had since they were very little and played with dollies!  It is ingrained into our little pea brains.  Anyways, one day I really think God has it in the stars for me to get married.  When I pray and then read the Bible for inspirational, guiding messages, I recently have been getting passages that are about marriage.  I take these messages seriously, I think God can communicate with us thru what we read in the Bible and He can lead us to certain passages for a specific purpose.  So now all I have to do is find singles fellowships and fish for a husband.  Or wait and see.  That could work too.
Another thing that I feel God has been leading me to do recently is to work for the fight for the Pro-Life movement.  Does anyone have any advice for protesting outside abortion clinics without getting the police involved?  I have been running thru ideas and the last thing that I want to do is get arrested in the fight for God.  Or maybe that is not such a bad thing.  Okay.  It's a bad thing.  I was thinking about holding up signs nearby (not directly in front of) the abortion clinic.  Anyways, this is something that I feel I could not accomplish or accomplish as well if I were married.  I really want to make this my own small way to serve God by trying to impact and change things in regards to the un-born.  Go Pro-Life!!!!   

[NeonZ]

Looks like we're in the same boat. I want a wife!

[MegaJedi]

Looks like we're in the same boat. I want a wife!

I too am looking for a wife.

[the innate]

i can tell you what men find attractive....

stay busy doing good work... serve... volunteer to rake leaves, shovel snow, carrying firewood, cook, clean, look after children, etc...

stay busy


i have no wife and am not looking...

good luck

[kristinaf]

Shovel snow??? You want me to shovel snow?  Who am I looking for an eskimo husband?  Kidding.  :) Well I am in the right climate to shovel snow.  I live in the snow belt in New York State.  We get alot of snow here.  Lots of it.  Anyone single, male and Christian want to help me?  :)  Besides the joking, I guess I have to agree that by staying busy in the meantime ...maybe then I won't notice that I don't have a husband.  No.  I guess that's a good idea.  I will stay busy.  Hmm.  One potato.  Two potato.  Three potato.  Okay.  Gotta get off my computer and go find something to do!!!! 

[The unloved one]

I want it all! I hope you find your Mr. Right. I've searched before ( back when I believe in the hype of being loved and loving) I've found DOZENS of Mr. Rights and Ms. Right but I found out that I am Mr. Very Very Wrong and Useless. Here is some advice from a world weary man, do not let it consume you because people aren't worth it.  People are self-serving manipulative and cruel, I watch people do the cruelest acts against one another. I still have hope for others such as yourself so I hope you find that kinda man that lights your fires and warms your heart.

[chosenone]

Help!  I am single and a Christian and am struggling because I want someone to marry.  I am sick of being alone.  Any ideas on finding the right like-minded person?  I pray and nothing seems to happen.  I am trying to be patient with God and stay in line with Him but I find it really hard sometimes.  (the patient part)  Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with being single and alone?  I live with my parents and that is nice (sometimes) because I am not totally alone.  But I would much rather be surrounded by a husband and a family.  I see girls in my church and friends of mine who are married and having kids and think to myself...when is my time going to come?  Say a prayer that I find a husband....sooner rather than later.   Hurrry God.   

that is just not gonna happen.

oh yes it will................

[SpiritHappy]

As a Christian Life coach I get this question of finding a mate often. God is near to the lonely. I see people who tell me it is just not in the card and then boom God delivers a mate. Remember he is near to the lonely and brokenhearted. Also, many times we ignore possible mates because we have an idea what WE want. God will deliver when you are ready. Many of us are not ready, we think we are but we are not. I help people everyday with this, it will be fine.

[kristinaf]

 ::smile::As a Christian Life coach I get this question of finding a mate often. God is near to the lonely. I see people who tell me it is just not in the card and then boom God delivers a mate. Remember he is near to the lonely and brokenhearted. Also, many times we ignore possible mates because we have an idea what WE want. God will deliver when you are ready. Many of us are not ready, we think we are but we are not. I help people everyday with this, it will be fine. (From Spirit Happy)


KristinaF replies:
Thank you.   ::smile::I too believe that God is near to the lonely and brokenhearted.  This is when God called to me, when I was at my most broken hearted, about two years ago.  I never felt God calling me to Him before that time, and consequently, at that time, I had never been more brokenhearted in my life!  I had gone thru a breakup from a very strong love relationship, meaning I was deeply in love with this person and we had a very strong emotional connection.  I made some mistakes and lied to him (stupidly) about my past, because I was afraid that he wouldn't accept me.  He discovered my lie and told me he couldn't trust me again.  That was the beginning of the downfall of my relationship.  But we were off and on for awhile, and during that time, I was really brokenhearted....crying like someone had died...allll the time!!!  It was awful.  Before this time, I was never close to God, did not believe in Jesus, etc.  Somewhere during this time, I started attending church regularly, starting listening to sermons on the radio, started reading the Bible regularly, and started to believe in God and Jesus.  Something magical happened to me when I was at my lowest point.  I am doing much better now.  I have been single for just about a year, and in some ways I am thankful that I am out of the heartwrenching relationship, even though I loved that guy very much.  I still think about him and wonder if he will ever call or email me.  But I don't think he will.  Maybe, since I still think about him, that it is not the right time yet for me to meet someone else and seriously consider them for marriage.  I am not sure that I am completely 100% over my ex-boyfriend.  Note: This relationship was not exactly Godly, we were sleeping together outside of marriage, so I don't think it was possible for God to bless our relationship.  Obviously not.  Maybe this is another reason the relationship ended.  probably.  Anyone else have trouble getting over someone?  How long did anyone else wait before getting into another relationship or meeting the right person?  Any feedback appreciated.... Thanks. And Happy Thanksgiving!!!   Kristina

[fanuvmxpx]

Just be sure not to lie the second time around, it is very serious, I broke up with a woman over lying as well, its like opening pandora's box. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything.

Keep yourself busy in your interests and meditating on the Lord, and someone will come along in God's timing.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

i can tell you what men find attractive....

stay busy doing good work... serve... volunteer to rake leaves, shovel snow, carrying firewood, cook, clean, look after children, etc...

And throw another log on the fire, cook me up some bacon and some beans...  Go outside and change the tire...  La la, something...faded old blue jeans...   What a truly horrible song...   

The thing is, I think, you have to be comfortable being independent.  You have to be having a good life anyway without "that special someone."  Once you're there, then you actually have something to give to a relationship.  Then someone can share that life with you.

If you're the princess in the tower waiting to be rescued...well, what are they going to share of your life?  Your captivity?  If you have nothing to give, you can only take.  Living vicariously through the other person will make nobody happier, or fuller.

Oh, sure, you may find someone who wants to rescue you.  But that's because he needs to feel...  needed.  Once you're rescued, he won't feel needed anymore and then the relationship will dissolve and you're back at 1.

My divorce counselor told me, "Become the person that the-person-you-would-want-to-be-with would want to be with."  Good advice for finding someone.  A little counter-intuitive maybe, since it requires you to stop looking for a while.

I'm enjoying being single, now.  I don't think I've ever been less alone.  Someone doesn't have to belong to me to care for me, and I certainly feel cared for...because I now go out of my way to care for others...and they reciprocate.

Jarrod

[NeonZ]

As a Christian Life coach I get this question of finding a mate often. God is near to the lonely. I see people who tell me it is just not in the card and then boom God delivers a mate. Remember he is near to the lonely and brokenhearted. Also, many times we ignore possible mates because we have an idea what WE want. God will deliver when you are ready. Many of us are not ready, we think we are but we are not. I help people everyday with this, it will be fine.

I've wondered about that. I've had ideas of what I've wanted but wasn't able to get it. It's getting harder with each level. I had fears taht I would wind up with someone that wouldn't like. I want God to grant me the desires of my heart, I don't want to be dissapointed. I don't desire to be with anyone that I'm not going to enjoy being with. I want it to be a long lasting marriage. I

[SpiritHappy]

God would not do that NeonZ . God loves you and will give you the best, remeber he loves you and the person you get will be exactly what you want even if the person does not look like you want from the beginning. Follow your heart God will guide you tothe right one

[SonOfHappy]

It just cracked me up reading about shoveling snow, and then I read you're in the snow belt of New York, which ironically I was raised in Syracuse for the first 18 years of my life, so I can understand the snow problems, lol. As for you wanting to find a husband, that is totally understandable. I think almost everyone who is single desires someone who they can wake up to and smile, to have someone who we can fully confide in, and love us for who we truly are. To help us through the good and bad and be there for us no matter what. I lost my father about a year and a half ago and I was so upset that God took someone I loved so dearly in this world. I felt not only I needed a girlfriend, I deserved one! I had lost my most loved person in the world and no one was there for me anymore, it seemed. However, I began to realize over time that a girlfriend in that situation would have been horrific, not only bad for me, but horrible for her. What I learned from all this is all comes in due time. Will I ever get married? I hope so. Do I know whether that is in God's plans exactly? No. What I do know is that I need to look to God and see what he wants. If an opportunity presents itself, than grab it. But when nothing is presenting, maybe God is pointing you in another direction for right now. Everything will come in its due time. Everything evolves around God's time, and that's not a bad thing. Just give it time and enjoy and spend the time you have now as being single the way that you might not be able to if you were married. Being single present opportunities as Christians that Marriage life simply doesn't afford some. Hope that helps!

[kristinaf]

I'm so glad someone can relate about shoveling snow! 

I know it's God's timing and not my own, re. finding a mate.  I just have always found it difficult to be alone.  I have always had a boyfriend.  But just because I had, doesn't mean I was always happy...I don't feel it's right anymore to "just have a boyfriend".  I believe it's God's will for us to marry(rather than date) ...so that is my aim.  It's just hard for me sometimes to wait.    But I really believe that God will send me a husband, and when that happens, I will appreciate it all the more, because I have been alone, I guess.  ?  Does that make sense?  I just will have to follow God's road and see where it takes me.  I know He is leading me somewhere good... 

[spurly]

Help!  I am single and a Christian and am struggling because I want someone to marry. 

Are you taking applications?  Do applicants need to send in their resume including a picture and references?

[chosenone]

Have any of you tried internet Christian friendship sites? I met my second husband this way, and my son who is now 30 met his lovely Christian girlfriend this way (I am sure they will marry). My daughter is also now on one of these sites here in the uk and I know 2 others who met their spouses this way.
As a Christian, unless you have any unnattached people of the opposite sex of a similar age in your church it can be very hard to meet anyone. You do have to be careful of course and watch out for any 'red flags' but its certainly worked for me.

[Mere Nick]

Help!  I am single and a Christian and am struggling because I want someone to marry. 

Are you taking applications?  Do applicants need to send in their resume including a picture and references?

Memphis Dwight is in the market, too, it seems, no matter how many wives he already has.

[chosenone]

Help!  I am single and a Christian and am struggling because I want someone to marry. 

Are you taking applications?  Do applicants need to send in their resume including a picture and references?

Memphis Dwight is in the market, too, it seems, no matter how many wives he already has.

Yeh...... as long as you dont mind commiting adultery!

[NeonZ]

As a Christian Life coach I get this question of finding a mate often. God is near to the lonely. I see people who tell me it is just not in the card and then boom God delivers a mate. Remember he is near to the lonely and brokenhearted. Also, many times we ignore possible mates because we have an idea what WE want. God will deliver when you are ready. Many of us are not ready, we think we are but we are not. I help people everyday with this, it will be fine.

Isn't God not capable of granting us the desires of heart? I mean I dont a dissapointment. The relationship I can have but I want to be happy with what I receive.

[cristals mama]

I'm so glad someone can relate about shoveling snow! 

I know it's God's timing and not my own, re. finding a mate.  I just have always found it difficult to be alone.  I have always had a boyfriend.  But just because I had, doesn't mean I was always happy...I don't feel it's right anymore to "just have a boyfriend".  I believe it's God's will for us to marry(rather than date) ...so that is my aim.  It's just hard for me sometimes to wait.    But I really believe that God will send me a husband, and when that happens, I will appreciate it all the more, because I have been alone, I guess.  ?  Does that make sense?  I just will have to follow God's road and see where it takes me.  I know He is leading me somewhere good... 

If you cannot be happy and at peace by yourself first then you will not find it with someone just by being married and having companionship.  Believe me I know that if something especially marriage does not come from God then it is doomed from the start, so don't be in such a rush.  Get to know yourself and develop a deep relationship with God focusing on those things instead and then when the timing is right God will fulfill your hearts desire and with the right one, not the one you pick out of lonliness or any other earthly reason.

Take it from me sometimes you get what you want and what you thought would be good convincing yourself that it is God and then it doesn't turn out quite like you expected!   Focus on what is above and the rest will come- hind sight is 20/20, I know!

[Mere Nick]

What's wrong with shoveling snow, sisters?  Look for a man who will buy you a nice pair of golf shoes so you won't slip on the ice, that's all.  They come in handy when you are out washing his car in the winter time, too.

[kristinaf]

What's wrong with shoveling snow, sisters?  Look for a man who will buy you a nice pair of golf shoes so you won't slip on the ice, that's all.  They come in handy when you are out washing his car in the winter time, too.

::smile::Nice.

[Tu Es Petrus]

Can I do a spin-off of this thread called "Help! I want a wife!"  ? ?

[kristinaf]

  Yes! Please do, then we can get others to say who wants a husband/wife and we will match them up!  It will be fun...

I wish there were more opportunities for singles fellowship in churches nowadays.  My church seems to be too afraid that something naughty will happen when you get guys and girls together who are single.  I think it would be wonderful if I could get single Christians from my area, from many different churches together for a singles fellowship event.  It might bring many Christians together to form lasting commitments.  I just have to get the courage/tenacity/ambition up to do such a thing.  Does anyone else's church have such a thing? 

The cool thing is that I really feel God is speaking to me, telling me that I am going to get married (relatively) soon!  Yesterday at church, (yes we have church on Wednesdays)  my pastor said, "2009 is going to be a glory year.  And things that you have been waiting on are going to come to pass.  Some of you have been waiting to get married..."   Now I just have to find the right guy. 

I have also heard my pastor say that right before your blessing from God comes in, what you have been waiting for, the devil will try to throw something your way that will mess up your blessing.  That came true for me, two days ago.  I have taken a relatively new vow of celibacy, until I get married.  Well, I have stuck to it, but two days ago, a guy from my past popped up and tried to mess up my plans.  I stupidly went over to his house, thinking that it would just be innocent, but he had other plans, tried to kiss me, I gave in and kissed him, and then he told me he wanted to sleep with me.  AHHH!!!!  I immediately told him there was no way that was going to happen, and told him that I made a vow of celibacy because of my religious beliefs.  He backed off and said he would respect that, but he then said that he would give me "two weeks" before I caved in on that vow.  Yeah right.  I decided that I would not see him again, and canceled our plans for New Years.  I really feel that that was the devil sending me a temptation...to see if I was going to stick to what God was telling me to do.  I feel proud that I was able to stick to my guns, although I feel stupid for even putting myself in that situation.  I never should have gone over to a guy's house when I knew that it would only be the two of us, alone.  That was breaking my rule.  The last time I did that, I also almost got into trouble.  Young girls be warned....don't go over to a guy's house/apartment by yourself with only the two of you there....too risky!!! 

Anyways, I do feel proud and can hold my head up high that I stuck to my vow.  I want  to appreciate it when I get to share intimacy with my future husband, not some crummy guy who just wants what he can get without a real commitment!!!! 

Anyone else taking a vow of celibacy until they get married?  Isn't that what us Christians should be doing? 
 

[daveyboy]

i can tell you what men find attractive....

stay busy doing good work... serve... volunteer to rake leaves, shovel snow, carrying firewood, cook, clean, look after children, etc...

stay busy


i have no wife and am not looking...

good luck

I don't know that I agree with that. What I would really find attractive is a woman who actually kows how to make it about the man every once in a while. A little news flash here is that men too need attention-we are not as self-sufficient as women like to think we are. We need a little stroking too-nothing off color intended. I am so tired of women who are all about themselves. It's ME, ME, ME all the time. Another thing that is attractive is confidence. I don't care if you have a model's body or not. Be confident. Men get so sick of insecure women. KNow how to say "I'm sorry. I screwed up. Please forgive me" every once in a while. These are the things I think a lot of men find attractive.

[lismore]

Hello!

There is a lot of peer pressure out there on people, pressure to conform, to get married etc.  Im sorry I cant be much more help, Im a single peson myself.