Confusion, please help...

[Adam21]

I've come to the understanding that in order to divorce and remarry it must be on the grounds of "Sexual Immorality".

9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.

[k-pappy]

I would encourage you to pray deeply, perhaps even fast on the subject and definitely talk to your pastor if you have not already done so.

In my own personal opinion, I think it is a matter of the heart.  I would not stress over what the civil paperwork says. 

In Christ,
KP

[chosenone]

God knows what happened to her and that her husband committed sexual immorality. Dont worry that she didnt tell the judge, it makes no difference to what broke the marriage covenant in Gods eyes.

I totally agree with you about the grounds foir divorce and remarriage. I have also done a lot of reading, studying, and listening to teaching of those who have also studied this subject widely and have come to the same conclusion as you ie that you are  allowed to divorce and remarry becuase of sexual immorality. Both my husband and I are divorced and both of our ex spouses did this. neither divorce was specifically stated said to be for this reason as in the Uk where we live you either divorce for unreasonanle behaviour or you wait two years and you can divorce anyway, so no one has to prove sexual immorality anymore. Also my husbands ex wife both did the adultery and divorced him!

so my advice would be what she said to the judge is immeterial and actually very kind in my book, as even after what he did to her,she didnt want to make thinsg hard for him and it sounds therefore as if you have a really nice fiance there.

Please note though that they are a couple, of people on this forum who may come on here and copy and paste rheams of KJV scriptures to try and prove their own strange ideas that we are only ever 'married' to the first person that you have sex with and can never marry anyone else or you will be will be committing adultery. Try to ignore them if they try to tell you that.

[elijah_101]

Posted By Adam21... I'm currently engaged and set to marry a women who I love very much, Now she had been married before, but not for very long because her former spouse cheated on her, and she got divorced.

According to the Word of God

If you marry Her, you commit Adultery....

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried Cor 7:10-11

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:

but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Romans 7:3

[chosenone]

Posted By Adam21... I'm currently engaged and set to marry a women who I love very much, Now she had been married before, but not for very long because her former spouse cheated on her, and she got divorced.

According to the Word of God

If you marry Her, you commit Adultery....

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried Cor 7:10-11

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:

but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Romans 7:3

Adam 21 please dont listen to elijah. you ARE allowed to marry a women who is divorced becuase her spouse has comitted adultery.Jesus said so and so it is true. Elijah thinks that we are all married to the first person that we ever have sex with (even if we were raped) and therefore he believes that if we get married we are committing adultery.Dont let it put you off marrying this lady.
I believe that you have come to the right conclusion and it is the one that most Christians also believe going by what Jesus clearly said.

[Adam21]

Posted By Adam21... I'm currently engaged and set to marry a women who I love very much, Now she had been married before, but not for very long because her former spouse cheated on her, and she got divorced.

According to the Word of God

If you marry Her, you commit Adultery....

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried Cor 7:10-11

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:

but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Romans 7:3

Sorry but your view is a twisted form of our Saviors message. Jesus said unless for sexual immorality,I know what your probably thinking, and your showing me verses from Romans and 1 Corinthians that seem to contradict what Jesus said, so your normal thought is that he must have been talking about something else. We'll actually your wrong Jesus was talking about exactly as it is to be interpreted that unless your spouse has committed sexual immorality you may not divorce and if you cant divorce than obviously you cannot remarry. In Romans the word states "if her husband liveth" this states she is still married to him, why simply because she divorced him for an unbiblical reason ie (she didnt divorce him for "sexual immorality") this is why it goes on to say that she will be called an adulteress. Also it is the same thing in those verses you stated about in 1 Corinthians,it is talking about a spouse who divorces for unbiblical reasons. You are not going to prove me wrong because I am right, I've read many views of Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in The Bible and I am sad to see that Christians have been lead to believe such twisted views.

[elijah_101]

Twisted???

Is the Word of God Twisted to You???

Jesus said

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

Now Matt 5:32...Is that Twisted?

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication,

and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

Is This Scripture Twisted too? and shall marry another, committeth adultery Matt 19:9

her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9

And who Ever marries her that is Put Away Commit adulter...Is this Twisted Too?

There is no Twisted Words here....

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.  1 Cor 7:39

The Women yo a Messing with, is some one Elses Wife...And as Long as her Husband is ALIVE, and she marries you... She will be Called an AdulteressWomen

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteres Ro 7:7

And you will be Called an Adulterer...

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

Im Sorry...But this is True....

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.
Heb 13:8

[chosenone]

Posted By Adam21... I'm currently engaged and set to marry a women who I love very much, Now she had been married before, but not for very long because her former spouse cheated on her, and she got divorced.

According to the Word of God

If you marry Her, you commit Adultery....

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried Cor 7:10-11

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:

but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Romans 7:3

Sorry but your view is a twisted form of our Saviors message. Jesus said unless for sexual immorality,I know what your probably thinking, and your showing me verses from Romans and 1 Corinthians that seem to contradict what Jesus said, so your normal thought is that he must have been talking about something else. We'll actually your wrong Jesus was talking about exactly as it is to be interpreted that unless your spouse has committed sexual immorality you may not divorce and if you cant divorce than obviously you cannot remarry. In Romans the word states "if her husband liveth" this states she is still married to him, why simply because she divorced him for an unbiblical reason ie (she didnt divorce him for "sexual immorality") this is why it goes on to say that she will be called an adulteress. Also it is the same thing in those verses you stated about in 1 Corinthians,it is talking about a spouse who divorces for unbiblical reasons. You are not going to prove me wrong because I am right, I've read many views of Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in The Bible and I am sad to see that Christians have been lead to believe such twisted views.

Most Christians dont believe such twisted views but unforunatly we do have two peope here on these forums who do. Most dont seem to however so dont bother about it.

[chosenone]

Posted By Adam21... I'm currently engaged and set to marry a women who I love very much, Now she had been married before, but not for very long because her former spouse cheated on her, and she got divorced.

According to the Word of God

If you marry Her, you commit Adultery....

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried Cor 7:10-11

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:

but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Romans 7:3

Sorry but your view is a twisted form of our Saviors message. Jesus said unless for sexual immorality,I know what your probably thinking, and your showing me verses from Romans and 1 Corinthians that seem to contradict what Jesus said, so your normal thought is that he must have been talking about something else. We'll actually your wrong Jesus was talking about exactly as it is to be interpreted that unless your spouse has committed sexual immorality you may not divorce and if you cant divorce than obviously you cannot remarry. In Romans the word states "if her husband liveth" this states she is still married to him, why simply because she divorced him for an unbiblical reason ie (she didnt divorce him for "sexual immorality") this is why it goes on to say that she will be called an adulteress. Also it is the same thing in those verses you stated about in 1 Corinthians,it is talking about a spouse who divorces for unbiblical reasons. You are not going to prove me wrong because I am right, I've read many views of Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in The Bible and I am sad to see that Christians have been lead to believe such twisted views.

I have pointed out to elijah the 'except for sexual immorality' part loads of times but he will never listen. He has his own agenda for his own strange reasons to try to convince himself that he is right when he isnt. Dont bother with his views,. he will never listen to anything you say and  will just keep on copying and pasting KJV verses many of which have no relevance whatsoever.

[llewksgood]

Posted By Adam21... I'm currently engaged and set to marry a women who I love very much, Now she had been married before, but not for very long because her former spouse cheated on her, and she got divorced.

According to the Word of God

If you marry Her, you commit Adultery....

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried Cor 7:10-11

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:

but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Romans 7:3

Sorry but your view is a twisted form of our Saviors message. Jesus said unless for sexual immorality,I know what your probably thinking, and your showing me verses from Romans and 1 Corinthians that seem to contradict what Jesus said, so your normal thought is that he must have been talking about something else. We'll actually your wrong Jesus was talking about exactly as it is to be interpreted that unless your spouse has committed sexual immorality you may not divorce and if you cant divorce than obviously you cannot remarry. In Romans the word states "if her husband liveth" this states she is still married to him, why simply because she divorced him for an unbiblical reason ie (she didnt divorce him for "sexual immorality") this is why it goes on to say that she will be called an adulteress. Also it is the same thing in those verses you stated about in 1 Corinthians,it is talking about a spouse who divorces for unbiblical reasons. You are not going to prove me wrong because I am right, I've read many views of Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in The Bible and I am sad to see that Christians have been lead to believe such twisted views.

I have pointed out to elijah the 'except for sexual immorality' part loads of times but he will never listen. He has his own agenda for his own strange reasons to try to convince himself that he is right when he isnt. Dont bother with his views,. he will never listen to anything you say and  will just keep on copying and pasting KJV verses many of which have no relevance whatsoever.

Actually, Sopranette, although I don't want to be siding with Elijah who seems overly dogmatic; technically he is correct concerning Matt 5. The "except it be for fornication" does not give us the right to remarry. It is the only acceptable reason for divorce, not remarriage.

However Jesus' other reply to the disciples response concerning this reveals that it is permissable to remarry because God is aware that we are flesh.

Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7 reiterates this thought concerning remaining single.

It is good to hear you are in a healthy marriage relationship - guided by God - and no greater burden need be laid at your feet.

I might have misunderstood something? Did the original poster say his proposed partner lied to him? Perhaps she lied about the reason for the divorce - to protect her ex? The first would make me cautious, but not refusing.

[chosenone]

Posted By Adam21... I'm currently engaged and set to marry a women who I love very much, Now she had been married before, but not for very long because her former spouse cheated on her, and she got divorced.

According to the Word of God

If you marry Her, you commit Adultery....

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried Cor 7:10-11

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:

but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Romans 7:3

Sorry but your view is a twisted form of our Saviors message. Jesus said unless for sexual immorality,I know what your probably thinking, and your showing me verses from Romans and 1 Corinthians that seem to contradict what Jesus said, so your normal thought is that he must have been talking about something else. We'll actually your wrong Jesus was talking about exactly as it is to be interpreted that unless your spouse has committed sexual immorality you may not divorce and if you cant divorce than obviously you cannot remarry. In Romans the word states "if her husband liveth" this states she is still married to him, why simply because she divorced him for an unbiblical reason ie (she didnt divorce him for "sexual immorality") this is why it goes on to say that she will be called an adulteress. Also it is the same thing in those verses you stated about in 1 Corinthians,it is talking about a spouse who divorces for unbiblical reasons. You are not going to prove me wrong because I am right, I've read many views of Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in The Bible and I am sad to see that Christians have been lead to believe such twisted views.

I have pointed out to elijah the 'except for sexual immorality' part loads of times but he will never listen. He has his own agenda for his own strange reasons to try to convince himself that he is right when he isnt. Dont bother with his views,. he will never listen to anything you say and  will just keep on copying and pasting KJV verses many of which have no relevance whatsoever.

Actually, Sopranette, although I don't want to be siding with Elijah who seems overly dogmatic; technically he is correct concerning Matt 5. The "except it be for fornication" does not give us the right to remarry. It is the only acceptable reason for divorce, not remarriage.

However Jesus' other reply to the disciples response concerning this reveals that it is permissable to remarry because God is aware that we are flesh.

Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7 reiterates this thought concerning remaining single.

It is good to hear you are in a healthy marriage relationship - guided by God - and no greater burden need be laid at your feet.

I might have misunderstood something? Did the original poster say his proposed partner lied to him? Perhaps she lied about the reason for the divorce - to protect her ex? The first would make me cautious, but not refusing.

yes I am in a healthy marriage and am greatly blessed by God. Jesus said that if you marry after a divorce for your spouses sexual immorality do you NOT committ adultery, so he was referring here to someone who was going to marry. What is a divorce? of course it is the ending of a marriage. if the marriage has totally ended, as it has, you are free to remarry IF the reaosn is for sexual immorality.
i just am so grateful to God for bringing my husband and I together in some amazing and miraculous ways.

[Tantor]

It's unfortunate that people read the bible and do not understand why things were said and to whom.  Those that believe that the bible can be ripped out of the context of the culture of Jesus time and inserted into the totally different culture and world view of today are perverting the words of Jesus.

I encourage you to research the biblical differences between the greek word translated into 'put away' and the greek word for 'divorce'.. as they were two very different customs.  Basically the Jews of Jesus day were thinking they were following God's commandments and rules laid down to Moses.. but the reality is that they had twisted God's teachings and found a lot of wiggle room to do a lot of really bad things while maintaining the 'letter of the law'.

The scriptures say to study to show thyself approved... those that would just post individual verses without relating the background of the verses are sorely lacking in that respect.

The bottom line is that God hates divorce.. yet God himself after due diligence and much suffering and patience divorced his bride (Israel).

I think God's example of patience and long suffering toward his bride is a good second place to start when trying to understand God's guidelines for Divorce and Remarriage.

You should also do a word history of the Greek word translated into 'fornication' as it does not always mean sexual infidelity within marriage.  I can also mean the forsaking of Christ and the worship of Idols or other Gods.

[His Princess]

It's unfortunate that people read the bible and do not understand why things were said and to whom.  Those that believe that the bible can be ripped out of the context of the culture of Jesus time and inserted into the totally different culture and world view of today are perverting the words of Jesus.

I encourage you to research the biblical differences between the greek word translated into 'put away' and the greek word for 'divorce'.. as they were two very different customs.  Basically the Jews of Jesus day were thinking they were following God's commandments and rules laid down to Moses.. but the reality is that they had twisted God's teachings and found a lot of wiggle room to do a lot of really bad things while maintaining the 'letter of the law'.

The scriptures say to study to show thyself approved... those that would just post individual verses without relating the background of the verses are sorely lacking in that respect.

The bottom line is that God hates divorce.. yet God himself after due diligence and much suffering and patience divorced his bride (Israel).

I think God's example of patience and long suffering toward his bride is a good second place to start when trying to understand God's guidelines for Divorce and Remarriage.

You should also do a word history of the Greek word translated into 'fornication' as it does not always mean sexual infidelity within marriage.  I can also mean the forsaking of Christ and the worship of Idols or other Gods.

Thank you, thank you for this.  What you've said here is absolutely true and I've been meaning to come back on here and say this myself, but you've articulated it very well.  And the bottom line here above all is that we have GRACE and forgiveness on an infinite scale because of the heavy price Jesus paid for us (if we truly repent of any past sin) and I thank God for that.