New here and have a problem

[slw531]

We all used to attend a church that we loved at first. Well after years and problems and issues too numerous to go into we left. We have been attending my husband's cousin's church which my husband loves. I decided to give it a chance. Well after being there a year neither I nor my daughter are happy there.
I'm not being spiritually fed and neither is she. I didn't know my daughter felt the way I did until this past Saturday. Sunday my hubby didn't go to church so we decided to visit the old church which now has a new pastor and is growing every week. We had a high time in the Lord and realized that was the kind of service we missed having. WE met the pastor who wants to talk to all of us (including my husband) about the issues we had with the church previously because he feels like everyone needs healing from past hurts. Anyhow when it was time for altar call my daughter was crying and told me she really wanted to rejoin. I told her she was 19 and could do whatever the Lord was leading her to do. She joined but her dad doesn't know it. He has been making snide remarks and acting really ugly about the whole thing. My daughter really wants to tell him how she feels but we can't talk to him about it. I told him I was not going to discuss this with him anymore because he was being so irrational. I am between a rock and a hard place and really miss my old church.

[johntwayne]

If you are not being fed where you are at then go where you can receive spiritual nourishment.

Be an example to your husband. You need not talk to him if he is being irrational, but win him by your example.

I have prayed for you and this situation. 

[kensington]

I think you should attend where your husband wants, but ask him to be open to the meeting with the new pastor and hear him out about the healing issue.  He should at least give this man an ear considering that was your home church and what happened there affected your lives... all of you. 

Pray for your daughter, and give her permission to be an adult and attend where she desires, as long as she is in a Bible teaching church and is serving God, you should not try to hinder her.  Give it a rest, give him some time and tell him that is what you did.  Tell him that you gave her the wings to follow the LORD where He leads her and you hope that he understands and supports your decision.  Remind him that the word says to not frustrate our growing children. Having her in a church home you know teaches the word, and lives the word by example is so much better than her leaving your home frustrated and not serving God. Give her that. She is making a good choice.

Ask her to pray for her dad, and to be patient with him, that now that she is old enough to serve the LORD herself, and walk out her faith, she will meet many many Christians and non believers who will jest her and mock her choices, this test with her dad in how she waits upon the LORD and prays, trusting Him to work all things for good concerning her, is the first of many many tests she will face as a believer.  Support her, pray with her, encourage her, and stand by her. 

This is not a time in history that you are chattel and she is a possession for him. But, he is the husband and father and respect for Him as unto the LORD is warranted. She can certainly move on to her own faith walk without disrespect to him, and that is what I advise you to help her do.  Listen to him, ask him to listen to you, and she.  And encourage him that you TWO have done well to raise a wise and Godly young woman, and now is the time to let that come to evidence and bless you both back in your lives. 

If you want to return to your church family, then attend with him on Sunday or when he attends, and ask him if he minds if you attend the midweek service over there...  for fellowship and growth.  Be honest with him and give him a chance to honor you in this. He may surprise you and set you free to attend anywhere you wish.  It's all in how you approach the idea, and keeping with his being the leader in this area. HTH.

[slw531]

Thanks so much for you suggestions. My daughter went to meet with the new pastor yesterday. He encouraged her to tell her dad of her decision. I have decided to pray, be quiet and stay still and let the Lord move.