The Proverbs 31 woman

[Tantor]

I watched my mom do that.. all my aunts do that.. it's the norm in the church where I grew up... the husband was to make the money and the wife was to spend and enjoy it.

I would attribute that more to "Americanism", or an elitist mentality, where wants/desires become needs. And not providing these "needs" makes you a bad husband.

Obviously not everyone does this...but I hear you Tantor...I've witnessed it myself. We have another poor American mentality that keeps our families in poverty...its the "your 18 and your on your own" rule...How much debt do our children accumulate when we say "fend for yourself" in a minimum wage/capitalistic society? Just something to ponder.

Well, when we coddle our children and protect them from the world and provide for their every need and then turn them out into society and expect them to act like productive citizens we have no one to blame but ourselves.

All you need to do is a few 3rd world missions trips to understand just how screwed up this country is... and it's not screwed up due to liberalism, atheism or any type of ism... it's screwed up because of modern day Christianity... it's screwed up to the 'bible thumping' bible belt that can sure preach but cannot come to grips with what the bible really says.. the are more interested in creating a society of their choice and justifying it with scripture then the other way around.

Free markets and minimum wage is not the issue... it's the fact that we are for the most part growing a generation of lazy kids that expect everything to be given to them.

[OneLung]

Well, when we coddle our children and protect them from the world and provide for their every need and then turn them out into society and expect them to act like productive citizens we have no one to blame but ourselves.

You are correct. I coddled and protected all three of my children, so I take full responsibility for one being a Vet with her own practice, one being a stay at home mom married to a Navy pilot and the other being a senior at the University of Washington majoring in Political Science.  Geezzzz.

[Tantor]

Well, when we coddle our children and protect them from the world and provide for their every need and then turn them out into society and expect them to act like productive citizens we have no one to blame but ourselves.

You are correct. I coddled and protected all three of my children, so I take full responsibility for one being a Vet with her own practice, one being a stay at home mom married to a Navy pilot and the other being a senior at the University of Washington majoring in Political Science.  Geezzzz.

You are the exception.. and deserve praise for it!

[OneLung]

Well, when we coddle our children and protect them from the world and provide for their every need and then turn them out into society and expect them to act like productive citizens we have no one to blame but ourselves.

You are correct. I coddled and protected all three of my children, so I take full responsibility for one being a Vet with her own practice, one being a stay at home mom married to a Navy pilot and the other being a senior at the University of Washington majoring in Political Science.  Geezzzz.

You are the exception.. and deserve praise for it!

Thank you, but it would be more correct to say that my wife is the exception as she did most of the work.  But I don't understand why you think she is the exception.  When I think of all my friends, almost all their children turned out to be responsible adults.  I think only a small segment of society habitually turns out bad children.

[sopranette]

I watched my mom do that.. all my aunts do that.. it's the norm in the church where I grew up... the husband was to make the money and the wife was to spend and enjoy it.

I would attribute that more to "Americanism", or an elitist mentality, where wants/desires become needs. And not providing these "needs" makes you a bad husband.

Obviously not everyone does this...but I hear you Tantor...I've witnessed it myself. We have another poor American mentality that keeps our families in poverty...its the "your 18 and your on your own" rule...How much debt do our children accumulate when we say "fend for yourself" in a minimum wage/capitalistic society? Just something to ponder.

Well, when we coddle our children and protect them from the world and provide for their every need and then turn them out into society and expect them to act like productive citizens we have no one to blame but ourselves.

All you need to do is a few 3rd world missions trips to understand just how screwed up this country is... and it's not screwed up due to liberalism, atheism or any type of ism... it's screwed up because of modern day Christianity... it's screwed up to the 'bible thumping' bible belt that can sure preach but cannot come to grips with what the bible really says.. the are more interested in creating a society of their choice and justifying it with scripture then the other way around.

Free markets and minimum wage is not the issue... it's the fact that we are for the most part growing a generation of lazy kids that expect everything to be given to them.

Nope, that's not how psychology works.  The children with very strict homes, and the children with very permissive homes, are the ones who are the most unprepared for real life, because they have never been allowed to practice using boundaries they either did or didn't learn.  So cuddle your children all you want, but train up a child in the way he should go..............

love,

sopranette

[OneLung]

That's more sociology then psychology, but it's still correct.

[sopranette]

Fair enough! 

love,

sopranette

[chosenone]

The point of the lesson is not whether or not the woman was a career woman. The point was that she was being a helpmate to her husband, and was interested in this and helping her family.

Yeap and putting the kids on the school bus then going shopping with the neighbor's wife and going out to lunch on the husbands dime isn't helping much.

Who does that then?

I watched my mom do that.. all my aunts do that.. it's the norm in the church where I grew up... the husband was to make the money and the wife was to spend and enjoy it.

Dosnt happen in the circles that I am in in the UK. I only ever go to lunch with my hubby and dont spend anthing withour him knowing .
We buy things togather as a rule. Among my friends there are few who do this (in fact I cant thnk of any off hand) . Most of us have had some sort of job and are careful with money (as the Bible tells us to be, the prudent wife and all that)

[OneLung]

My wife makes a lot more then I do, so I think she can buy pretty much whatever she wants without anyones permission. Though I don't think she would make any major purchase, like a car, without talking to me first.

[zoonance]

My wife makes more than I do as well.   She is a nurse and I am a zoo veterinarian.  She can treat me when i get a boo boo and she has to walk around on all fours to make it look legal for me to treat her boo boos.

[MegaJedi]

And I personally feel the KJV is by far the best translation.  So we have differing oppinions.  do me a favor.  Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.

How many different translations have you read through so far? Just curious. Myself only 3, planning on getting a copy of a Hebrew thesaurus as soon as financially able

And reading that verson will not be helpful either.  Actually a waste of time.  We way too often rely on our own abilities to read and study.

I myself , like "mega - j " like my KJV over any other version/translation.  But I only look at it as a tool.  I do not rely solely upon it and do not take it in its exactness.   I allow God to work in me through the comforter , to help me see whith spiritual eyes, and not with my own eyes.

I think when you look at a translation you also need to look at the 'fruit' of that translation.  I think when you look at it from a historical and present perspective, the KJV has done more damage to Christendom then the pope ever did.

Is it really the KJV that has done the damage, or maybe just the people reading it.

I guess the KJV transforms into a killer robot...lol.

[MegaJedi]

And I personally feel the KJV is by far the best translation.  So we have differing oppinions.  do me a favor.  Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.

How many different translations have you read through so far? Just curious. Myself only 3, planning on getting a copy of a Hebrew thesaurus as soon as financially able

lets see,
KJV
NKJV
NIV
NWT,
The Catholic Bible (including the 7 extra books)
NLT
And starting my next one in Bible Gateway.com

I like to read.

Have you tried the amplified? I was prompted to get this version 20 years ago and have never looked back. I love it and it seems to be pretty accurate with its translation becuase it gives more than one word for the original if that word cannot be accurately translated into just one of our modern words. I would NEVER go back to anything else.

I will try it, next time I get paid (next month) if Berean has any when I go to get my Guitar Praise.

[chosenone]

And I personally feel the KJV is by far the best translation.  So we have differing oppinions.  do me a favor.  Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.

How many different translations have you read through so far? Just curious. Myself only 3, planning on getting a copy of a Hebrew thesaurus as soon as financially able

lets see,
KJV
NKJV
NIV
NWT,
The Catholic Bible (including the 7 extra books)
NLT
And starting my next one in Bible Gateway.com

I like to read.

Have you tried the amplified? I was prompted to get this version 20 years ago and have never looked back. I love it and it seems to be pretty accurate with its translation becuase it gives more than one word for the original if that word cannot be accurately translated into just one of our modern words. I would NEVER go back to anything else.

I will try it, next time I get paid (next month) if Berean has any when I go to get my Guitar Praise.

Let me know how you get on with it. I love it. it has changed my whole understanding of many parts of the bible just by making it so much clearer what all the words really mean. I recently bought one for my son and my eldest daughter as they have both returned to God in the last 18 months, and they both like it too. Good for new Christians and also mature ones.

[HRoberson]

Can you believe so many people would try to justify mothers and wives and daughters leaving the home to work outside based upon such flimsy things? 

The problem is that the Bible doesn't say the wife must stay at home.

Doesnt it say in Titus that the older women are to teach the younger to love their husbands and children and to be a home maker? What does this means if it isnt 'making ' a home?

Well yes, it does. Do you interpret that to mean that that is the only thing women can do?

Or perhaps, Paul is urging a less demonstrative life, much like he urges men to do.......lead quiet lives, work with your hands, and stay out of trouble.

Must all men "work with their hands?"

How quiet, exactly, is quiet?

[llewksgood]

We talked about this at home fellowship last night: the "virtuous woman".

Have you thought about all the things that she did? I'd like anybody to try to do all that and still find enough [not even spare] hours in a 24 hour day.

It is obvious that this is a very wealthy and community conscious family. It is also obvious that she supervised, rather than doing all these things herself.

I put the challenge to my mum. I asked, did she ever find enough time just to knit gurnseys (I think that's correct, we call them jumpers here) for her husband, and 5 boys. She said that she had help from her mum who actually knitted more of them than she did - besides buying a few when they could afford it.

It says that this woman not only made the clothes, but wove the material as well; and all this while she was tending all the family's other needs [like food, chosenone], and selling the produce she made. On top of that she made clothes for her servants, and the needy. Perhaps she lived during our evolutionary creation where some considered the days were not literal 24 hour days? Perhaps her day was 1000 years, the Lord knows she needed it.

By the way, Lydia was a seller of purple - she obviously worked.

[Tantor]

I always viewed her as someone who was successful before she decided to have kids.

[Nevertheless]

Can you believe so many people would try to justify mothers and wives and daughters leaving the home to work outside based upon such flimsy things? 

Can you believe that MD thinks that any woman outside of his immediate family needs to justify her choices to him?

[chosenone]

Can you believe so many people would try to justify mothers and wives and daughters leaving the home to work outside based upon such flimsy things? 

The problem is that the Bible doesn't say the wife must stay at home.

Doesnt it say in Titus that the older women are to teach the younger to love their husbands and children and to be a home maker? What does this means if it isnt 'making ' a home?

Well yes, it does. Do you interpret that to mean that that is the only thing women can do?

Or perhaps, Paul is urging a less demonstrative life, much like he urges men to do.......lead quiet lives, work with your hands, and stay out of trouble.

Must all men "work with their hands?"

How quiet, exactly, is quiet?

Dont know I was just saying what the bIble says.Everyone will interpret it in different ways as is normal.

[chosenone]

We talked about this at home fellowship last night: the "virtuous woman".

Have you thought about all the things that she did? I'd like anybody to try to do all that and still find enough [not even spare] hours in a 24 hour day.

It is obvious that this is a very wealthy and community conscious family. It is also obvious that she supervised, rather than doing all these things herself.

I put the challenge to my mum. I asked, did she ever find enough time just to knit gurnseys (I think that's correct, we call them jumpers here) for her husband, and 5 boys. She said that she had help from her mum who actually knitted more of them than she did - besides buying a few when they could afford it.

It says that this woman not only made the clothes, but wove the material as well; and all this while she was tending all the family's other needs [like food, chosenone], and selling the produce she made. On top of that she made clothes for her servants, and the needy. Perhaps she lived during our evolutionary creation where some considered the days were not literal 24 hour days? Perhaps her day was 1000 years, the Lord knows she needed it.

By the way, Lydia was a seller of purple - she obviously worked.

I guess that if I had servants I would have had time for all those things as well. However they really arent many of us around these days who have servants.One pair of hands is all that I have ever had, and I can only do one thing at a time.

[Tantor]

We talked about this at home fellowship last night: the "virtuous woman".

Have you thought about all the things that she did? I'd like anybody to try to do all that and still find enough [not even spare] hours in a 24 hour day.

It is obvious that this is a very wealthy and community conscious family. It is also obvious that she supervised, rather than doing all these things herself.

I put the challenge to my mum. I asked, did she ever find enough time just to knit gurnseys (I think that's correct, we call them jumpers here) for her husband, and 5 boys. She said that she had help from her mum who actually knitted more of them than she did - besides buying a few when they could afford it.

It says that this woman not only made the clothes, but wove the material as well; and all this while she was tending all the family's other needs [like food, chosenone], and selling the produce she made. On top of that she made clothes for her servants, and the needy. Perhaps she lived during our evolutionary creation where some considered the days were not literal 24 hour days? Perhaps her day was 1000 years, the Lord knows she needed it.

By the way, Lydia was a seller of purple - she obviously worked.

I guess that if I had servants I would have had time for all those things as well. However they really arent many of us around these days who have servants.One pair of hands is all that I have ever had, and I can only do one thing at a time.

But if you had worked before you had kids maybe you could have piled up the necessary resources to live like the virtuous woman.

[chosenone]

We talked about this at home fellowship last night: the "virtuous woman".

Have you thought about all the things that she did? I'd like anybody to try to do all that and still find enough [not even spare] hours in a 24 hour day.

It is obvious that this is a very wealthy and community conscious family. It is also obvious that she supervised, rather than doing all these things herself.

I put the challenge to my mum. I asked, did she ever find enough time just to knit gurnseys (I think that's correct, we call them jumpers here) for her husband, and 5 boys. She said that she had help from her mum who actually knitted more of them than she did - besides buying a few when they could afford it.

It says that this woman not only made the clothes, but wove the material as well; and all this while she was tending all the family's other needs [like food, chosenone], and selling the produce she made. On top of that she made clothes for her servants, and the needy. Perhaps she lived during our evolutionary creation where some considered the days were not literal 24 hour days? Perhaps her day was 1000 years, the Lord knows she needed it.

By the way, Lydia was a seller of purple - she obviously worked.

I guess that if I had servants I would have had time for all those things as well. However they really arent many of us around these days who have servants.One pair of hands is all that I have ever had, and I can only do one thing at a time.

But if you had worked before you had kids maybe you could have piled up the necessary resources to live like the virtuous woman.

I did work before I had kids, but sadly didnt earn enough to be able to afford servants.  I didnt marry a millionaire unfortunately, and also in the UK housing is SO expensive. Also I married at 19 and had my first child at nearly 22 so there werent many years to save up really.

Not sure if I could deal with servants, I am not the type who could tell others what to do and boss them around........too kind for my own good I guess...............  so I will never be that proverbs 31 women. Good job really as I like being ME, and wouldnt want to be HER.

[llewksgood]

We talked about this at home fellowship last night: the "virtuous woman".

Have you thought about all the things that she did? I'd like anybody to try to do all that and still find enough [not even spare] hours in a 24 hour day.

It is obvious that this is a very wealthy and community conscious family. It is also obvious that she supervised, rather than doing all these things herself.

I put the challenge to my mum. I asked, did she ever find enough time just to knit gurnseys (I think that's correct, we call them jumpers here) for her husband, and 5 boys. She said that she had help from her mum who actually knitted more of them than she did - besides buying a few when they could afford it.

It says that this woman not only made the clothes, but wove the material as well; and all this while she was tending all the family's other needs [like food, chosenone], and selling the produce she made. On top of that she made clothes for her servants, and the needy. Perhaps she lived during our evolutionary creation where some considered the days were not literal 24 hour days? Perhaps her day was 1000 years, the Lord knows she needed it.

By the way, Lydia was a seller of purple - she obviously worked.

I guess that if I had servants I would have had time for all those things as well. However they really arent many of us around these days who have servants.One pair of hands is all that I have ever had, and I can only do one thing at a time.

But if you had worked before you had kids maybe you could have piled up the necessary resources to live like the virtuous woman.

I did work before I had kids, but sadly didnt earn enough to be able to afford servants.  I didnt marry a millionaire unfortunately, and also in the UK housing is SO expensive. Also I married at 19 and had my first child at nearly 22 so there werent many years to save up really.

Not sure if I could deal with servants, I am not the type who could tell others what to do and boss them around........too kind for my own good I guess...............  so I will never be that proverbs 31 women. Good job really as I like being ME, and wouldnt want to be HER.

And how do you know you are not that woman to your husband? The virtue was not in what she did, but who she was.

I wouldn't want my wife to change, and the woman described here may well have been too driving for me. I'm not driven by success.

My wife is exactly what God planned for me.

[chosenone]

We talked about this at home fellowship last night: the "virtuous woman".

Have you thought about all the things that she did? I'd like anybody to try to do all that and still find enough [not even spare] hours in a 24 hour day.

It is obvious that this is a very wealthy and community conscious family. It is also obvious that she supervised, rather than doing all these things herself.

I put the challenge to my mum. I asked, did she ever find enough time just to knit gurnseys (I think that's correct, we call them jumpers here) for her husband, and 5 boys. She said that she had help from her mum who actually knitted more of them than she did - besides buying a few when they could afford it.

It says that this woman not only made the clothes, but wove the material as well; and all this while she was tending all the family's other needs [like food, chosenone], and selling the produce she made. On top of that she made clothes for her servants, and the needy. Perhaps she lived during our evolutionary creation where some considered the days were not literal 24 hour days? Perhaps her day was 1000 years, the Lord knows she needed it.

By the way, Lydia was a seller of purple - she obviously worked.

I guess that if I had servants I would have had time for all those things as well. However they really arent many of us around these days who have servants.One pair of hands is all that I have ever had, and I can only do one thing at a time.

But if you had worked before you had kids maybe you could have piled up the necessary resources to live like the virtuous woman.

I did work before I had kids, but sadly didnt earn enough to be able to afford servants.  I didnt marry a millionaire unfortunately, and also in the UK housing is SO expensive. Also I married at 19 and had my first child at nearly 22 so there werent many years to save up really.

Not sure if I could deal with servants, I am not the type who could tell others what to do and boss them around........too kind for my own good I guess...............  so I will never be that proverbs 31 women. Good job really as I like being ME, and wouldnt want to be HER.

And how do you know you are not that woman to your husband? The virtue was not in what she did, but who she was.

I wouldn't want my wife to change, and the woman described here may well have been too driving for me. I'm not driven by success.

My wife is exactly what God planned for me.

Yes you are so right.
Like your wife I am not driven and care little for success.  I am generally down to earth, easy to please, content and calm. (a low maintenace lady as hubby calls me) And yes, I am EXACTLY the right woman for my husband, he tells me that often. He says that I am perfect for him and  like a precious jewel. Bless.

[fanuvmxpx]

Like your wife I am not driven and care little for success.

What is success? How is it measured? I'm driven to succeed in Christ, so technically I care a great deal about success. If we are speaking of matters of wealth, I am extremely driven to be able to provide for my families' liabilities.

How you define "success" is very important :)

[chosenone]

Like your wife I am not driven and care little for success.

What is success? How is it measured? I'm driven to succeed in Christ, so technically I care a great deal about success. If we are speaking of matters of wealth, I am extremely driven to be able to provide for my families' liabilities.

How you define "success" is very important :)

being driven by anything isnt always good is it? Driven people seem to be unhappy people in my experience. Wanting to do something well is different from being driven to do it. 

[fanuvmxpx]

being driven by anything isnt always good is it? Driven people seem to be unhappy people in my experience. Wanting to do something well is different from being driven to do it. 

If you aren't driven to do something...it won't get done. I can sit on my couch and want to help people in need...or I can be "driven" and get off my couch and go help people in need.

"Want" never accomplished anything. My drive, my strive, is the Joy I have living for Christ. My drive, my strive, is the paycheck I receive twice a month which provides my family with food & shelter. If I want to serve the Lord, and want to provide for my family, but don't drive myself to accomplish either...I have failed.

[HRoberson]

Can you believe so many people would try to justify mothers and wives and daughters leaving the home to work outside based upon such flimsy things? 

Can you believe that MD thinks that any woman outside of his immediate family needs to justify her choices to him?

I suspect the women in his immediate family probably don't justify their choices to him.

Which may be the problem, in this instance. 

[chosenone]

being driven by anything isnt always good is it? Driven people seem to be unhappy people in my experience. Wanting to do something well is different from being driven to do it. 

If you aren't driven to do something...it won't get done. I can sit on my couch and want to help people in need...or I can be "driven" and get off my couch and go help people in need.

"Want" never accomplished anything. My drive, my strive, is the Joy I have living for Christ. My drive, my strive, is the paycheck I receive twice a month which provides my family with food & shelter. If I want to serve the Lord, and want to provide for my family, but don't drive myself to accomplish either...I have failed.

I suspect that we may have a very different understanding of what the word 'driven ' means

[kensington]

Well, when we coddle our children and protect them from the world and provide for their every need and then turn them out into society and expect them to act like productive citizens we have no one to blame but ourselves.

You are correct. I coddled and protected all three of my children, so I take full responsibility for one being a Vet with her own practice, one being a stay at home mom married to a Navy pilot and the other being a senior at the University of Washington majoring in Political Science.  Geezzzz.

Same here... I coddled all my children, they could do no wrong.  They had every NEW thing in life and grew accustomed to the name brand items they liked.  But, they did chores and they did them right, or they did them over.  They helped each other.  They helped me, they learned to shop and clean and knew when it was polite to talk openly and when it was best to be silent. 

My son has his masters in medical technology after serving 5 years Army... my girl has her degree in Marketing and she works for a BIG medical equipment company, my other just works hard every day to support his family... one is a Marine, one is a Freshman at College and two more at home, one is going to be a Senior next year. 

You can coddle them and give to them, and tell them they are the best in all the world... but for their own sakes, teach them to be good stewards and to work hard for their own money.  To strive for excellence in education and to achieve, but to also clean a toilet on their own knees.  Teach your boys to iron and your girls to camp.  Enjoy them... 

[fanuvmxpx]

I suspect that we may have a very different understanding of what the word 'driven ' means

Yes, there are a few definitions for the word "driven":

1.  Piled up or carried along by a current: driven snow.
2. Motivated by or having a compulsive quality or need: a driven person.
3. Caused, sustained, or stimulated: an export-driven economic recovery.
4. Powered, operated, or controlled

Number 1 suggests nature moving itself. Number 2 suggests motivation by someone (the definition I like). Number 3 suggests movement by some force (money, probably the 'bad' definition you were thinking of). Number 4 suggests "driving" a car.

[chosenone]

I suspect that we may have a very different understanding of what the word 'driven ' means

Yes, there are a few definitions for the word "driven":

1.  Piled up or carried along by a current: driven snow.
2. Motivated by or having a compulsive quality or need: a driven person.
3. Caused, sustained, or stimulated: an export-driven economic recovery.
4. Powered, operated, or controlled

Number 1 suggests nature moving itself. Number 2 suggests motivation by someone (the definition I like). Number 3 suggests movement by some force (money, probably the 'bad' definition you were thinking of). Number 4 suggests "driving" a car.

Number two is the one that I was thinking of as being unnhealthy.The sort of complusive part. I do know one ir twe people who are compulsively driven to stay slim, to not grow old, to keep their houses like a show hime, to control everthing and everyone around them, and many other things. That sort of driven personality isnt healthy or good is it?
My husband works hard but trusts God to bring in work and doesnt worry about it.   

There are many in the world who are driven by money or success or having the lastest cosmetic operation, or the latest sports car or belonging to a certan golf  club, or having the latest kitchen or whatever it is and these things arent important at all really when we know differently.

[chosenone]

Well, when we coddle our children and protect them from the world and provide for their every need and then turn them out into society and expect them to act like productive citizens we have no one to blame but ourselves.

You are correct. I coddled and protected all three of my children, so I take full responsibility for one being a Vet with her own practice, one being a stay at home mom married to a Navy pilot and the other being a senior at the University of Washington majoring in Political Science.  Geezzzz.

Same here... I coddled all my children, they could do no wrong.  They had every NEW thing in life and grew accustomed to the name brand items they liked.  But, they did chores and they did them right, or they did them over.  They helped each other.  They helped me, they learned to shop and clean and knew when it was polite to talk openly and when it was best to be silent. 

My son has his masters in medical technology after serving 5 years Army... my girl has her degree in Marketing and she works for a BIG medical equipment company, my other just works hard every day to support his family... one is a Marine, one is a Freshman at College and two more at home, one is going to be a Senior next year. 

You can coddle them and give to them, and tell them they are the best in all the world... but for their own sakes, teach them to be good stewards and to work hard for their own money.  To strive for excellence in education and to achieve, but to also clean a toilet on their own knees.  Teach your boys to iron and your girls to camp.  Enjoy them... 

Gosh I must have been a terrible mum, becuase my kids never got all that they wanted, and didnt have the named brand clothes, didnt have every new thing that came out and had to do without a lot becuase we had little money.(Plus the fact that I didnt believe that it was good for them to have everything that they wanted anyway.
Fortunately they have turned out to be wonderful young people anyway. PHEW.......................

[fanuvmxpx]

Gosh I must have been a terrible mum, becuase my kids never got all that they wanted, and didnt have the named brand clothes, didnt have every new thing that came out and had to do without a lot becuase we had little money.(Plus the fact that I didnt believe that it was good for them to have everything that they wanted anyway.
Fortunately they have turned out to be wonderful young people anyway. PHEW.......................

I think it just depends on the situation. I wore either my jeans or my shorts and 1 of my 4 or 5 shirts while growing up. Only had 1 pair of shoes. All my undergarments were generally stained and my socks always had holes in them. Usually I would just wear jeans and a Hanes white t-shirt. I never had a brand name growing up, actually I don't really understand fashion at all as it is 100% 'want' and not based on 'need'.

Even now, I never buy clothes, my wife will come home with a discounted shirt for me from time to time. What is a brand name? Isn't every shirt a brand name? Last time I checked, each shirt has a label, so why would you pay $80 for a shirt when you could get one for $15?

[chosenone]

Gosh I must have been a terrible mum, becuase my kids never got all that they wanted, and didnt have the named brand clothes, didnt have every new thing that came out and had to do without a lot becuase we had little money.(Plus the fact that I didnt believe that it was good for them to have everything that they wanted anyway.
Fortunately they have turned out to be wonderful young people anyway. PHEW.......................

I think it just depends on the situation. I wore either my jeans or my shorts and 1 of my 4 or 5 shirts while growing up. Only had 1 pair of shoes. All my undergarments were generally stained and my socks always had holes in them. Usually I would just wear jeans and a Hanes white t-shirt. I never had a brand name growing up, actually I don't really understand fashion at all as it is 100% 'want' and not based on 'need'.

Even now, I never buy clothes, my wife will come home with a discounted shirt for me from time to time. What is a brand name? Isn't every shirt a brand name? Last time I checked, each shirt has a label, so why would you pay $80 for a shirt when you could get one for $15?

Ahhhhhhh a man after my own heart..................I buy many things on e-bay, from charity shops or from the cheaper clothes shops. I know some who will only EVER shop in certain more expensive shops, even though they are much more expensive and no better or nicer. I dont get it really.I guess that for them it is a class thing, and some people wouldnt consider buying anything from the cheaper shops on principle, and wouldnt even go in and look as if it is beneath them, I dont understand it really. As you say why pay much more for something that is basically just as good for a much cheaper price.

Maybe that is why school uniforms are good (and we still have them here in the UK) as they dont allow kids to wear all the lastest designer gear to school, which makes it harder for the kids who havent got any.

.

[kensington]

Well, when we coddle our children and protect them from the world and provide for their every need and then turn them out into society and expect them to act like productive citizens we have no one to blame but ourselves.

You are correct. I coddled and protected all three of my children, so I take full responsibility for one being a Vet with her own practice, one being a stay at home mom married to a Navy pilot and the other being a senior at the University of Washington majoring in Political Science.  Geezzzz.

Same here... I coddled all my children, they could do no wrong.  They had every NEW thing in life and grew accustomed to the name brand items they liked.  But, they did chores and they did them right, or they did them over.  They helped each other.  They helped me, they learned to shop and clean and knew when it was polite to talk openly and when it was best to be silent. 

My son has his masters in medical technology after serving 5 years Army... my girl has her degree in Marketing and she works for a BIG medical equipment company, my other just works hard every day to support his family... one is a Marine, one is a Freshman at College and two more at home, one is going to be a Senior next year. 

You can coddle them and give to them, and tell them they are the best in all the world... but for their own sakes, teach them to be good stewards and to work hard for their own money.  To strive for excellence in education and to achieve, but to also clean a toilet on their own knees.  Teach your boys to iron and your girls to camp.  Enjoy them... 

Gosh I must have been a terrible mum, becuase my kids never got all that they wanted, and didnt have the named brand clothes, didnt have every new thing that came out and had to do without a lot becuase we had little money.(Plus the fact that I didnt believe that it was good for them to have everything that they wanted anyway.
Fortunately they have turned out to be wonderful young people anyway. PHEW.......................

I don't believe I implied that anyone who didn't do it the way I did was a bad parent.  The implication is false.  We had little money too... but my husband is very frugal and we shopped on base.  I took the lessons I learned from where I came from, and put them into play as I raised my kids...  I don't see anything wrong with that.  I'm sorry you are insulted by the way I raised the kids God ordained to my care.  I guess I didn't realize I wasn't supposed to raise them to the best of my abilities because people who didn't would take exception to it.  Gosh...  I gave to them because I wanted them to have it.  

Jesus says it's natural to want to give your kids the best that they ask for when you can. I don't see the error in it.  (Who gives rocks when they ask for bread)...  If you raised your kids the way you thought was best... What's the problem?