The $2 Bill

[k-pappy]

THE $2 BILL


STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me:
'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'

Server:
'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'

Me:
'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server:
'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server:
'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'

Manager:
'No. A what?'

Server:
'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.'

Manager:
'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'

Server:
'Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'

Me:
'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?'

Server:
'I don't know.'

Me:
'See here where it says legal tender?'

Server:
'Yeah.'

Me:
'So, why won't you take it?'

Server:
'Well, hang on a sec.' He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager:
'Doesn't he have anything else?'

Server:
'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.

Manager:
'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'

Server:
'What should I do?'

Manager:
'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'

Server:
'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'

Manager:
'Just tell him.'

Server:
'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.. The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me:
'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'

Manager:
'We don't take those, either.'

Me:
'Why not?'

Manager:
'I think you know why.'

Me:
'No really, tell me why.'

Manager:
'Please leave before I call mall security.'

Me:
'Excuse me?'

Manager:
'Please leave before I call mall security.'

Me:
'What on earth for?'

Manager:
'Please, sir.'

Me:
'Uh, go ahead, call them.'

Manager:
'Would you please just leave?'

Me:
'No.'

Manager:
'Fine -- have it your way then.'

Me:
'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.  A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard:
'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'

Manager
(whispering):
'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'

Guard:
'No kidding! What?'

Manager:
'Get this. A two dollar bill.'

Guard (incredulous):
'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'

Manager:
'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'

Guard:
'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'

Manager:
'No, the two dollar bill is.'

Guard:
'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'

Manager:
'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'

Guard:
'Yeah.' Security Guard walks over to me. 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'

Me:
'Uh, no.'

Guard:
'Lemme see 'em.'

Me:
'Why?'

Guard:
'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'

Manager:
'It's fake.'

Guard:
'It doesn't look fake to me.'

Manager:
'But it's a two dollar bill.'

Guard:
'Yeah?

Manager:
'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's
an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw
in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies,
too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar
bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.
If I got the right group of people, I could probably
end up in jail. You get free food there, too.

[ItalianFlavor]

Amazing 

[Jaime]

If we could get Pelosi and Reid to hand out $2 bills, we could have a lot of fun, while eating for free occasionally! I inderstand that Barney Franks is pushing for a $3 bill!

;-)

[Basherbelding]

Lol, i read it all!

[sopranette]

I admit I've only ever seen one.  The bank doesn't give them to you unless you specifically ask for one.  It is a little fake looking.

love,

sopranette

[Jon-Marc]

$2 bills were used at one time, but they quickly fizzled out and aren't used any more.

[MegaJedi]

I still use them.  I saw Friday the 13th with 5 of them Friday.

[marc]

They give them back as change at Monticello; I still have one I got there a few years back.

My grandmother always said they were bad luck.

[OneLung]

That's worse then when I tried to give a $20 AMX Traveler's Check to a gas station attendant in Arkansas and he said they didn't take checks.

[anchorman]

I think the problem is a lot of people hoard the two dollar bill. I haven't see one in years.

How old was the manager?

[HRoberson]

I still use them.  I saw Friday the 13th with 5 of them Friday.

How did they like the movie?

[MegaJedi]

I still use them.  I saw Friday the 13th with 5 of them Friday.

How did they like the movie?

They jumped worse than the 5 year olds that saw the movie.  I was so sad that much of the audience was not alive when Freddy vs Jason was made.

[Jon-Marc]

They give them back as change at Monticello; I still have one I got there a few years back.

My grandmother always said they were bad luck.

My mother thought a lot of things were bad luck.

[Weeble]

When my wife goes to visit her mom I get cash money. I usually get $2.00 bills and gold coin dollars. I seem to have that conversation a lot.

[Will Lee]

Good thing that you didnt try to pay with a collection of half-cents and V-nickels!

[Arkstfan]

That's worse then when I tried to give a $20 AMX Traveler's Check to a gas station attendant in Arkansas and he said they didn't take checks.

Same thing happened to me in Fort Worth. I was in the metroplex to photograph the Arkansas State / Texas-Arlington football game (yes UTA once played football... though not well at the end). Baylor and TCU were the Raycom game of the week that morning so I figured how do you beat a football doubleheader. The ticket office wouldn't take a travelers check but some man gave me a ticket and I didn't have to miss the game.

[Mystery Man]

I have and keep a two dollar bill in my wallet.  It is going to be a collectors item some day.  Could be worth three dollars some day ! 

[fanuvmxpx]

Amazing story. I have a $2 bill framed in my kitchen. My great Uncle gave it to me, before he passed, with the following note: "Steven, don't ever spend this $2 bill, and you will never be broke." I've had it for 15 years.

[Nevertheless]

I like to use 2's, dollar coins, and half dollars for tips.

We see a lot of these, but then, we have a coin store . . .

[OneLung]

Amazing story. I have a $2 bill framed in my kitchen. My great Uncle gave it to me, before he passed, with the following note: "Steven, don't ever spend this $2 bill, and you will never be broke." I've had it for 15 years.

Don't you live in California? Did you pay your 50% state inheritance tax on that $2.00? 

[fanuvmxpx]

Amazing story. I have a $2 bill framed in my kitchen. My great Uncle gave it to me, before he passed, with the following note: "Steven, don't ever spend this $2 bill, and you will never be broke." I've had it for 15 years.

Don't you live in California? Did you pay your 50% state inheritance tax on that $2.00? 

I do live in So. CA . Technically speaking, since the monetary note is not being used as a currency (merely a decorative/heirloom) it cannot be taxed. (I hope)