Nurturing a loved one

[Rahn]

I have looked at many of the topics within this part of the forum, but do not see much discussion regarding the care of your loved one. In the dating stage of a relationship can you see yourself taking care of the person. When they get sick, do you truly believe "in sickness and in health."

For a good number of years I watched my dad grow old and weary taking care of my mom. The family all took part in this endeavor. An accident (I will not go into details, outside of it taking place in a hospital) happened and left my mom with an injury that took a good part of her life away. My dad was totally unprepared for what happened. How do you take care of a wife whose life has been compromised?

It was not easy. My dad struggled for years. The family all pitched in and helped. There were therapists and home health aides. Yet, my dad carried a good part of the burden. When he went into the hospital the family took over. I lived with them. My dad endured and learned from the "university of hard knocks" about health care. He did the best he knew to do. At times he felt horribly frustrated. So much was left up to doctors about what to do with his wife. He was not always the best at giving comfort. Many men do not know how. (My mom passed away last year and my dad and family was around her bed.)

I say all of this to anyone who is seeking relationship. If and when I get married I hope to show the same care to my wife. A relationship is going to involve tender loving care. In order for this to happen, the relationship has to be more than physical. If it came to taking care of your loved one, could you do it? 

[rppearso]

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

I have looked at many of the topics within this part of the forum, but do not see much discussion regarding the care of your loved one. In the dating stage of a relationship can you see yourself taking care of the person. When they get sick, do you truly believe "in sickness and in health."

For a good number of years I watched my dad grow old and weary taking care of my mom. The family all took part in this endeavor. An accident (I will not go into details, outside of it taking place in a hospital) happened and left my mom with an injury that took a good part of her life away. My dad was totally unprepared for what happened. How do you take care of a wife whose life has been compromised?

It was not easy. My dad struggled for years. The family all pitched in and helped. There were therapists and home health aides. Yet, my dad carried a good part of the burden. When he went into the hospital the family took over. I lived with them. My dad endured and learned from the "university of hard knocks" about health care. He did the best he knew to do. At times he felt horribly frustrated. So much was left up to doctors about what to do with his wife. He was not always the best at giving comfort. Many men do not know how. (My mom passed away last year and my dad and family was around her bed.)

I say all of this to anyone who is seeking relationship. If and when I get married I hope to show the same care to my wife. A relationship is going to involve tender loving care. In order for this to happen, the relationship has to be more than physical. If it came to taking care of your loved one, could you do it? 

[fanuvmxpx]

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

That's not what is agreed upon, before God Almighty & your wife, when you take your vows. I think you need to re-read those vows again, they are a binding contract.

[rppearso]

What part do you disagree with?  I just said there would be alot of heart ache, I think sometimes you believe you are talking to robots on this forum and not real people, you tend to take very very legalistic stand points and it is kind of stiffling and unrealistic.  Through out all of your different posts it almost sounds like you are trying to save yourself.  I also think that you believe that the man should be beholden to the woman but not the other way around, in otherwords men should roll over for women, otherwise you would agree that a woman should stay in a marriage with an abusive husband.  I believe that the husband should love the wife AND the wife should respect the husband (which is what the bible actually says) with out the AND there is no marriage.

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

That's not what is agreed upon, before God Almighty & your wife, when you take your vows. I think you need to re-read those vows again, they are a binding contract.

[Rahn]

What part do you disagree with?  I just said there would be alot of heart ache, I think sometimes you believe you are talking to robots on this forum and not real people, you tend to take very very legalistic stand points and it is kind of stiffling and unrealistic.  Through out all of your different posts it almost sounds like you are trying to save yourself.  I also think that you believe that the man should be beholden to the woman but not the other way around, in otherwords men should roll over for women, otherwise you would agree that a woman should stay in a marriage with an abusive husband.  I believe that the husband should love the wife AND the wife should respect the husband (which is what the bible says) with out the AND there is no marriage.

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

That's not what is agreed upon, before God Almighty & your wife, when you take your vows. I think you need to re-read those vows again, they are a binding contract.

The relationship between my mom and dad was a good one. It was far from perfect. My mom's faith had a lot to do with it and my dad being an honorable man. She is no longer living. She was in her 80's. Their relationship was far more than physical.  I cannot speak for your relationship. You want a realistic answer. Have you done anything to truly nurture relationship? Your loved one may have a really hard heart. If your faith is intact (if not, seek help) then find a way to develop a prayer life with your loved one. I cannot say much more, but allow God's grace to shape and mold your heart. It may be up to you, if you want the relationship to last. 

[rppearso]

back to the OP, I do not believe that in dating it is in sickness and in health.  You are dating not married.

[Rahn]

back to the OP, I do not believe that in dating it is in sickness and in health.  You are dating not married.

In dating you are looking to the future. What will things be like? Can you see yourself taking care of this person? Dating can be so superficial if it is only physical. I am not perfect in this. It is just I have seen some marriages that were very good and they were not based on physical attraction alone.

[rppearso]

I think christians get into alot of trouble when they start suggesting that God will just do things for us, without putting into practice practical solutions.  Prayer is most effective when your hand is on the wrench and God helps you turn it.  The problems with issues like this is you are intimatly connected to someone whom you do not control, you can not force your spouse to act right and praying for them may or may not work becasue they have there own free will.  The question is then what are your unanswered prayers telling you, if God can not get your spouse to act right and it is effecting your well being and your relationship with God (either through depression, etc) I do not believe God wants people to stay in thoes sorts of relationships.  Just because God hates divorce does not mean he wants to see you suffer in a relationship where your spouse is causing you pain and causing you to stumble in your walk with him, that is not a Godly marriage.

What part do you disagree with?  I just said there would be alot of heart ache, I think sometimes you believe you are talking to robots on this forum and not real people, you tend to take very very legalistic stand points and it is kind of stiffling and unrealistic.  Through out all of your different posts it almost sounds like you are trying to save yourself.  I also think that you believe that the man should be beholden to the woman but not the other way around, in otherwords men should roll over for women, otherwise you would agree that a woman should stay in a marriage with an abusive husband.  I believe that the husband should love the wife AND the wife should respect the husband (which is what the bible says) with out the AND there is no marriage.

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

That's not what is agreed upon, before God Almighty & your wife, when you take your vows. I think you need to re-read those vows again, they are a binding contract.

The relationship between my mom and dad was a good one. It was far from perfect. My mom's faith had a lot to do with it and my dad being an honorable man. She is no longer living. She was in her 80's. Their relationship was far more than physical.  I cannot speak for your relationship. You want a realistic answer. Have you done anything to truly nurture relationship? Your loved one may have a really hard heart. If your faith is intact (if not, seek help) then find a way to develop a prayer life with your loved one. I cannot say much more, but allow God's grace to shape and mold your heart. It may be up to you, if you want the relationship to last. 

[rppearso]

That is very true but dont think that the physical is any less important, there are alot of marriages that end because of the physical aspects of the marriage.

back to the OP, I do not believe that in dating it is in sickness and in health.  You are dating not married.

In dating you are looking to the future. What will things be like? Can you see yourself taking care of this person? Dating can be so superficial if it is only physical. I am not perfect in this. It is just I have seen some marriages that were very good and they were not based on physical attraction alone.

[Rahn]

That is very true but dont think that the physical is any less important, there are alot of marriages that end because of the physical aspects of the marriage.

back to the OP, I do not believe that in dating it is in sickness and in health.  You are dating not married.

In dating you are looking to the future. What will things be like? Can you see yourself taking care of this person? Dating can be so superficial if it is only physical. I am not perfect in this. It is just I have seen some marriages that were very good and they were not based on physical attraction alone.

If a relationship is destroying the most important relationship with the Father, then the most important relationship comes first. I cannot say much more than that. I do not know the circumstances and all those involved. If there is a chance at redemption then follow that path. If not then do what your Father bids. Only approach this in humility and grace.

[rppearso]

Well then I have to say I finally agree with someone on here.

That is very true but dont think that the physical is any less important, there are alot of marriages that end because of the physical aspects of the marriage.

back to the OP, I do not believe that in dating it is in sickness and in health.  You are dating not married.

In dating you are looking to the future. What will things be like? Can you see yourself taking care of this person? Dating can be so superficial if it is only physical. I am not perfect in this. It is just I have seen some marriages that were very good and they were not based on physical attraction alone.

If a relationship is destroying the most important relationship with the Father, then the most important relationship comes first. I cannot say much more than that. I do not know the circumstances and all those involved. If there is a chance at redemption then follow that path. If not then do what your Father bids. Only approach this in humility and grace.

[chosenone]

I think christians get into alot of trouble when they start suggesting that God will just do things for us, without putting into practice practical solutions.  Prayer is most effective when your hand is on the wrench and God helps you turn it.  The problems with issues like this is you are intimatly connected to someone whom you do not control, you can not force your spouse to act right and praying for them may or may not work becasue they have there own free will.  The question is then what are your unanswered prayers telling you, if God can not get your spouse to act right and it is effecting your well being and your relationship with God (either through depression, etc) I do not believe God wants people to stay in thoes sorts of relationships.  Just because God hates divorce does not mean he wants to see you suffer in a relationship where your spouse is causing you pain and causing you to stumble in your walk with him, that is not a Godly marriage.

What part do you disagree with?  I just said there would be alot of heart ache, I think sometimes you believe you are talking to robots on this forum and not real people, you tend to take very very legalistic stand points and it is kind of stiffling and unrealistic.  Through out all of your different posts it almost sounds like you are trying to save yourself.  I also think that you believe that the man should be beholden to the woman but not the other way around, in otherwords men should roll over for women, otherwise you would agree that a woman should stay in a marriage with an abusive husband.  I believe that the husband should love the wife AND the wife should respect the husband (which is what the bible says) with out the AND there is no marriage.

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

That's not what is agreed upon, before God Almighty & your wife, when you take your vows. I think you need to re-read those vows again, they are a binding contract.

The relationship between my mom and dad was a good one. It was far from perfect. My mom's faith had a lot to do with it and my dad being an honorable man. She is no longer living. She was in her 80's. Their relationship was far more than physical.  I cannot speak for your relationship. You want a realistic answer. Have you done anything to truly nurture relationship? Your loved one may have a really hard heart. If your faith is intact (if not, seek help) then find a way to develop a prayer life with your loved one. I cannot say much more, but allow God's grace to shape and mold your heart. It may be up to you, if you want the relationship to last. 

depends what you mean by 'acting right'. if by acting right you mean that they have to have OS or AS every night as in your case, most would differ. If by acting right you mean that we are to respect our husbands and wives, put their feelings before our own and love then unselfishly, you would be on the right track.

[rppearso]

Most people can disagree but my statement is founded in scripture 1 cor 7, which you have chose to ignore.  Thats fine if you want to ignore it but my priorities for acting right are as you said (although I am not a fan of AS, rimming yes but not AS).

I think christians get into alot of trouble when they start suggesting that God will just do things for us, without putting into practice practical solutions.  Prayer is most effective when your hand is on the wrench and God helps you turn it.  The problems with issues like this is you are intimatly connected to someone whom you do not control, you can not force your spouse to act right and praying for them may or may not work becasue they have there own free will.  The question is then what are your unanswered prayers telling you, if God can not get your spouse to act right and it is effecting your well being and your relationship with God (either through depression, etc) I do not believe God wants people to stay in thoes sorts of relationships.  Just because God hates divorce does not mean he wants to see you suffer in a relationship where your spouse is causing you pain and causing you to stumble in your walk with him, that is not a Godly marriage.

What part do you disagree with?  I just said there would be alot of heart ache, I think sometimes you believe you are talking to robots on this forum and not real people, you tend to take very very legalistic stand points and it is kind of stiffling and unrealistic.  Through out all of your different posts it almost sounds like you are trying to save yourself.  I also think that you believe that the man should be beholden to the woman but not the other way around, in otherwords men should roll over for women, otherwise you would agree that a woman should stay in a marriage with an abusive husband.  I believe that the husband should love the wife AND the wife should respect the husband (which is what the bible says) with out the AND there is no marriage.

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

That's not what is agreed upon, before God Almighty & your wife, when you take your vows. I think you need to re-read those vows again, they are a binding contract.

The relationship between my mom and dad was a good one. It was far from perfect. My mom's faith had a lot to do with it and my dad being an honorable man. She is no longer living. She was in her 80's. Their relationship was far more than physical.  I cannot speak for your relationship. You want a realistic answer. Have you done anything to truly nurture relationship? Your loved one may have a really hard heart. If your faith is intact (if not, seek help) then find a way to develop a prayer life with your loved one. I cannot say much more, but allow God's grace to shape and mold your heart. It may be up to you, if you want the relationship to last. 

depends what you mean by 'acting right'. if by acting right you mean that they have to have OS or AS every night as in your case, most would differ. If by acting right you mean that we are to respect our husbands and wives, put their feelings before our own and love then unselfishly, you would be on the right track.

[fanuvmxpx]

Most people can disagree but my statement is founded in scripture 1 cor 7, which you have chose to ignore.  Thats fine if you want to ignore it but my priorities for acting right are as you said (although I am not a fan of AS, rimming yes but not AS).

Wonderful. Your a horrible husband with homosexual tendencies, seeing as you like your butt hole played with. Disgusting.

[rppearso]

I can see you have a closed mind, homosexual is just that homosexual.  It really is mind boggling how many people have a closed mind.  You should check out the marraige bed forums you will be suprised what christians are doing in bed and you really have no right to  judge.

Most people can disagree but my statement is founded in scripture 1 cor 7, which you have chose to ignore.  Thats fine if you want to ignore it but my priorities for acting right are as you said (although I am not a fan of AS, rimming yes but not AS).

Wonderful. Your a horrible husband with homosexual tendencies, seeing as you like your butt hole played with. Disgusting.

[fanuvmxpx]

I can see you have a closed mind, homosexual is just that homosexual.  It really is mind boggling how many people have a closed mind.  You should check out the marraige bed forums you will be suprised what christians are doing in bed and you really have no right to  judge.

LOL I have a closed mind because I don't think licking a waste disposing butt hole is a good idea. Right.

[rppearso]

Yep, but anyways I agreed I would not talk about such things on here anymore with a moderator, but yea you do have a closed mind.

I can see you have a closed mind, homosexual is just that homosexual.  It really is mind boggling how many people have a closed mind.  You should check out the marraige bed forums you will be suprised what christians are doing in bed and you really have no right to  judge.

LOL I have a closed mind because I don't think licking a waste disposing butt hole is a good idea. Right.

[fanuvmxpx]

Yep, but anyways I agreed I would not talk about such things on here anymore with a moderator, but yea you do have a closed mind.

ROFL

[chosenone]

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

I have looked at many of the topics within this part of the forum, but do not see much discussion regarding the care of your loved one. In the dating stage of a relationship can you see yourself taking care of the person. When they get sick, do you truly believe "in sickness and in health."

For a good number of years I watched my dad grow old and weary taking care of my mom. The family all took part in this endeavor. An accident (I will not go into details, outside of it taking place in a hospital) happened and left my mom with an injury that took a good part of her life away. My dad was totally unprepared for what happened. How do you take care of a wife whose life has been compromised?

It was not easy. My dad struggled for years. The family all pitched in and helped. There were therapists and home health aides. Yet, my dad carried a good part of the burden. When he went into the hospital the family took over. I lived with them. My dad endured and learned from the "university of hard knocks" about health care. He did the best he knew to do. At times he felt horribly frustrated. So much was left up to doctors about what to do with his wife. He was not always the best at giving comfort. Many men do not know how. (My mom passed away last year and my dad and family was around her bed.)

I say all of this to anyone who is seeking relationship. If and when I get married I hope to show the same care to my wife. A relationship is going to involve tender loving care. In order for this to happen, the relationship has to be more than physical. If it came to taking care of your loved one, could you do it? 

rppearso there are some illnesses or accidents that render a person unable to meet their spouses 'needs'. Whatever happens we promise to be there for our spouse in sickness and in health, so even if our spouse was paralised tomorrow the promises still apply.
I pray that with Gods strength I will always be there for my husband whatever happens to him.

[rppearso]

Sometimes things in life happen that are outside ones control (although there are always creative ways to meet each others needs).  It is a different circumstance when a spouse willfully neglects you just because they dont want to or feel like it.  I agree life happens and you have to deal with it sometimes, I have had my fair share of crumby situations.

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

I have looked at many of the topics within this part of the forum, but do not see much discussion regarding the care of your loved one. In the dating stage of a relationship can you see yourself taking care of the person. When they get sick, do you truly believe "in sickness and in health."

For a good number of years I watched my dad grow old and weary taking care of my mom. The family all took part in this endeavor. An accident (I will not go into details, outside of it taking place in a hospital) happened and left my mom with an injury that took a good part of her life away. My dad was totally unprepared for what happened. How do you take care of a wife whose life has been compromised?

It was not easy. My dad struggled for years. The family all pitched in and helped. There were therapists and home health aides. Yet, my dad carried a good part of the burden. When he went into the hospital the family took over. I lived with them. My dad endured and learned from the "university of hard knocks" about health care. He did the best he knew to do. At times he felt horribly frustrated. So much was left up to doctors about what to do with his wife. He was not always the best at giving comfort. Many men do not know how. (My mom passed away last year and my dad and family was around her bed.)

I say all of this to anyone who is seeking relationship. If and when I get married I hope to show the same care to my wife. A relationship is going to involve tender loving care. In order for this to happen, the relationship has to be more than physical. If it came to taking care of your loved one, could you do it? 

rppearso there are some illnesses or accidents that render a person unable to meet their spouses 'needs'. Whatever happens we promise to be there for our spouse in sickness and in health, so even if our spouse was paralised tomorrow the promises still apply.
I pray that with Gods strength I will always be there for my husband whatever happens to him.

[chosenone]

Sometimes things in life happen that are outside ones control (although there are always creative ways to meet each others needs).  It is a different circumstance when a spouse willfully neglects you just because they dont want to or feel like it.  I agree life happens and you have to deal with it sometimes, I have had my fair share of crumby situations.

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

I have looked at many of the topics within this part of the forum, but do not see much discussion regarding the care of your loved one. In the dating stage of a relationship can you see yourself taking care of the person. When they get sick, do you truly believe "in sickness and in health."

For a good number of years I watched my dad grow old and weary taking care of my mom. The family all took part in this endeavor. An accident (I will not go into details, outside of it taking place in a hospital) happened and left my mom with an injury that took a good part of her life away. My dad was totally unprepared for what happened. How do you take care of a wife whose life has been compromised?

It was not easy. My dad struggled for years. The family all pitched in and helped. There were therapists and home health aides. Yet, my dad carried a good part of the burden. When he went into the hospital the family took over. I lived with them. My dad endured and learned from the "university of hard knocks" about health care. He did the best he knew to do. At times he felt horribly frustrated. So much was left up to doctors about what to do with his wife. He was not always the best at giving comfort. Many men do not know how. (My mom passed away last year and my dad and family was around her bed.)

I say all of this to anyone who is seeking relationship. If and when I get married I hope to show the same care to my wife. A relationship is going to involve tender loving care. In order for this to happen, the relationship has to be more than physical. If it came to taking care of your loved one, could you do it? 

rppearso there are some illnesses or accidents that render a person unable to meet their spouses 'needs'. Whatever happens we promise to be there for our spouse in sickness and in health, so even if our spouse was paralised tomorrow the promises still apply.
I pray that with Gods strength I will always be there for my husband whatever happens to him.

  it is also different when a spouse 'has' to do something apart from sexual intercourse, that they find repulsive or wrong.

[rppearso]

No one "has" to do anything, all I was saying is when you refuse your spouse you run the risk of sabatoging the relationship which could lead to a long list of various negitive consequences.  If you are ok with thoes potential consequences then you can refuse, if not you probably shouldent refuse.  The bible makes no mention of the sexual acts you are allowed to refuse, it simply states do not refuse.  If you inturpret that as not to refuse only intercourse and your husband inturpreted it as anything sexual then you have a problem that will very likely result in a negitive consequence.  It sounds like you dont have that issue so thats a good thing.

Sometimes things in life happen that are outside ones control (although there are always creative ways to meet each others needs).  It is a different circumstance when a spouse willfully neglects you just because they dont want to or feel like it.  I agree life happens and you have to deal with it sometimes, I have had my fair share of crumby situations.

There are alot of factors that come into this, it depends on how the relationship was before the incident and what kind of compromises they make with each other after the incident.  Even though she now has a condition she has to make consessions to her husband because he is still a human being with needs.  If the relationship is good and they come up with acceptable mutual compromises im sure it would work out well, if not there is going to be alot of heart ache.

I have looked at many of the topics within this part of the forum, but do not see much discussion regarding the care of your loved one. In the dating stage of a relationship can you see yourself taking care of the person. When they get sick, do you truly believe "in sickness and in health."

For a good number of years I watched my dad grow old and weary taking care of my mom. The family all took part in this endeavor. An accident (I will not go into details, outside of it taking place in a hospital) happened and left my mom with an injury that took a good part of her life away. My dad was totally unprepared for what happened. How do you take care of a wife whose life has been compromised?

It was not easy. My dad struggled for years. The family all pitched in and helped. There were therapists and home health aides. Yet, my dad carried a good part of the burden. When he went into the hospital the family took over. I lived with them. My dad endured and learned from the "university of hard knocks" about health care. He did the best he knew to do. At times he felt horribly frustrated. So much was left up to doctors about what to do with his wife. He was not always the best at giving comfort. Many men do not know how. (My mom passed away last year and my dad and family was around her bed.)

I say all of this to anyone who is seeking relationship. If and when I get married I hope to show the same care to my wife. A relationship is going to involve tender loving care. In order for this to happen, the relationship has to be more than physical. If it came to taking care of your loved one, could you do it? 

rppearso there are some illnesses or accidents that render a person unable to meet their spouses 'needs'. Whatever happens we promise to be there for our spouse in sickness and in health, so even if our spouse was paralised tomorrow the promises still apply.
I pray that with Gods strength I will always be there for my husband whatever happens to him.

  it is also different when a spouse 'has' to do something apart from sexual intercourse, that they find repulsive or wrong.

[yesult]

Perversion is anything that is not natural. A persons digestive track was only designed to eliminate waste. It was not designed to cope with anything else. A womb however was designed for reproduction.

The bible gives serious sexual sin including perversion as the only reason allowable for divorce and remarriage. So rppearso, your wife was perfectly in her rights under Gods word to divorce you.

Perversion is perversion. And you seem to be implying here that it's ok to divorce your partner if an accident or illness renders them incapable of normal sex and they refuse to engage in anything perverted.

The bible doesn't support that either.

[rppearso]

First of all you cant prove that what I have described is a perversion so before you make such statements you should have a scripture that explicitly states what I have said is a perversion.  The bible lists what are considered perversions, sex with animals, relatives, same sex, etc performing non intercourse sexual acts with ones wife is not a perversion.

Perversion is anything that is not natural. A persons digestive track was only designed to eliminate waste. It was not designed to cope with anything else. A womb however was designed for reproduction.

The bible gives serious sexual sin including perversion as the only reason allowable for divorce and remarriage. So rppearso, your wife was perfectly in her rights under Gods word to divorce you.

Perversion is perversion. And you seem to be implying here that it's ok to divorce your partner if an accident or illness renders them incapable of normal sex and they refuse to engage in anything perverted.

The bible doesn't support that either.

[chosenone]

Perversion is anything that is not natural. A persons digestive track was only designed to eliminate waste. It was not designed to cope with anything else. A womb however was designed for reproduction.

The bible gives serious sexual sin including perversion as the only reason allowable for divorce and remarriage. So rppearso, your wife was perfectly in her rights under Gods word to divorce you.

Perversion is perversion. And you seem to be implying here that it's ok to divorce your partner if an accident or illness renders them incapable of normal sex and they refuse to engage in anything perverted.

The bible doesn't support that either.

Amen Marriage is for better or worse. Even if our spouse was totally unable to do anything, we are to still look after them and be faithful.
Totally agree that anal sex is a perversion. God gave a perfectly good place for sexual intercourse and the back passage isnt it. 

[chosenone]

First of all you cant prove that what I have described is a perversion so before you make such statements you should have a scripture that explicitly states what I have said is a perversion.  The bible lists what are considered perversions, sex with animals, relatives, same sex, etc performing non intercourse sexual acts with ones wife is not a perversion.

Perversion is anything that is not natural. A persons digestive track was only designed to eliminate waste. It was not designed to cope with anything else. A womb however was designed for reproduction.

The bible gives serious sexual sin including perversion as the only reason allowable for divorce and remarriage. So rppearso, your wife was perfectly in her rights under Gods word to divorce you.

Perversion is perversion. And you seem to be implying here that it's ok to divorce your partner if an accident or illness renders them incapable of normal sex and they refuse to engage in anything perverted.

The bible doesn't support that either.

  rppearso maybe you could give specific scriptures that state that anal  sex is allowed for married people, or that it is supposed to be  a normal part of sex. I have never found any. in fact I think that it was assumed that we would know,through our own common sense of the human body that there is a right place to have sex., and a worng place to have sex. Any method of havng sex that causes  alot of pain and that can cause long term physical damage to the person is surely wrong. This is the way that gays have sex, God has given the women a place that is totally suitable and adapted to have sex.

[rppearso]

The bible is like a rule book in some aspects.  Why would I abide by rules that are not writen when the rules that are written are hard enough to cope with.  Although I agree anal sex can be painful and I am not into anal sex (at least not that often :)), I very much enjoy OS to completion and rimming.  God made out bodies and if properly maintained there is nothing dirty about them.

First of all you cant prove that what I have described is a perversion so before you make such statements you should have a scripture that explicitly states what I have said is a perversion.  The bible lists what are considered perversions, sex with animals, relatives, same sex, etc performing non intercourse sexual acts with ones wife is not a perversion.

Perversion is anything that is not natural. A persons digestive track was only designed to eliminate waste. It was not designed to cope with anything else. A womb however was designed for reproduction.

The bible gives serious sexual sin including perversion as the only reason allowable for divorce and remarriage. So rppearso, your wife was perfectly in her rights under Gods word to divorce you.

Perversion is perversion. And you seem to be implying here that it's ok to divorce your partner if an accident or illness renders them incapable of normal sex and they refuse to engage in anything perverted.

The bible doesn't support that either.

  rppearso maybe you could give specific scriptures that state that anal  sex is allowed for married people, or that it is supposed to be  a normal part of sex. I have never found any. in fact I think that it was assumed that we would know,through our own common sense of the human body that there is a right place to have sex., and a worng place to have sex. Any method of havng sex that causes  alot of pain and that can cause long term physical damage to the person is surely wrong. This is the way that gays have sex, God has given the women a place that is totally suitable and adapted to have sex.

[chosenone]

The bible is like a rule book in some aspects.  Why would I abide by rules that are not writen when the rules that are written are hard enough to cope with.  Although I agree anal sex can be painful and I am not into anal sex (at least not that often :)), I very much enjoy OS to completion and rimming.  God made out bodies and if properly maintained there is nothing dirty about them.

First of all you cant prove that what I have described is a perversion so before you make such statements you should have a scripture that explicitly states what I have said is a perversion.  The bible lists what are considered perversions, sex with animals, relatives, same sex, etc performing non intercourse sexual acts with ones wife is not a perversion.

Perversion is anything that is not natural. A persons digestive track was only designed to eliminate waste. It was not designed to cope with anything else. A womb however was designed for reproduction.

The bible gives serious sexual sin including perversion as the only reason allowable for divorce and remarriage. So rppearso, your wife was perfectly in her rights under Gods word to divorce you.

Perversion is perversion. And you seem to be implying here that it's ok to divorce your partner if an accident or illness renders them incapable of normal sex and they refuse to engage in anything perverted.

The bible doesn't support that either.

  rppearso maybe you could give specific scriptures that state that anal  sex is allowed for married people, or that it is supposed to be  a normal part of sex. I have never found any. in fact I think that it was assumed that we would know,through our own common sense of the human body that there is a right place to have sex., and a worng place to have sex. Any method of havng sex that causes  alot of pain and that can cause long term physical damage to the person is surely wrong. This is the way that gays have sex, God has given the women a place that is totally suitable and adapted to have sex.

The please dont put your rules and what you think is acceptable onto all Christians when there is nothing that Biblically supports you.You attitude to sex is so unbalanced in my opinion, and the opinion of many here, but you cant see it.When sex (or the particular sex acts that you want) are put above everything and everyone else, something is way out of balance.

[yesult]

First of all you cant prove that what I have described is a perversion so before you make such statements you should have a scripture that explicitly states what I have said is a perversion.  The bible lists what are considered perversions, sex with animals, relatives, same sex, etc performing non intercourse sexual acts with ones wife is not a perversion.

Perversion is a perversion of anything natural, as I already stated. The womb is designed for intercourse, no other human oriface is.

The bible word for perversion is porniea which means illicit sexual intercourse.

And I'm getting the feeling you just like talking about dirt the same as you like doing it. I'm guessing it's even more fun on a christian forum where you can disguise it under an attempt to justify your actions.

[rppearso]

Still no scripture just peoples prudish opinions.

First of all you cant prove that what I have described is a perversion so before you make such statements you should have a scripture that explicitly states what I have said is a perversion.  The bible lists what are considered perversions, sex with animals, relatives, same sex, etc performing non intercourse sexual acts with ones wife is not a perversion.

Perversion is a perversion of anything natural, as I already stated. The womb is designed for intercourse, no other human oriface is.

The bible word for perversion is porniea which means illicit sexual intercourse.

And I'm getting the feeling you just like talking about dirt the same as you like doing it. I'm guessing it's even more fun on a christian forum where you can disguise it under an attempt to justify your actions.

[fanuvmxpx]

Still no scripture just peoples prudish opinions.

Might not fly before the White Throne

[chosenone]

Still no scripture just peoples prudish opinions.

First of all you cant prove that what I have described is a perversion so before you make such statements you should have a scripture that explicitly states what I have said is a perversion.  The bible lists what are considered perversions, sex with animals, relatives, same sex, etc performing non intercourse sexual acts with ones wife is not a perversion.

Perversion is a perversion of anything natural, as I already stated. The womb is designed for intercourse, no other human oriface is.

The bible word for perversion is porniea which means illicit sexual intercourse.

And I'm getting the feeling you just like talking about dirt the same as you like doing it. I'm guessing it's even more fun on a christian forum where you can disguise it under an attempt to justify your actions.

you have no scripture to support your claims and you ignore those scriplutres that tell you that you are living in sin.

[rppearso]

I have acnoloaged my errors and am working to correct them you are the one that has not accnolaged that you are trying to pass of your own opinion as scripture.  I honestly did not anticipate finding such angry combative (almost cult like) people on this forum, I was hoping to find some one with some sense to have a reasonable disucssion.  It is tough to find people in the chruch that are not quarlsome.

Still no scripture just peoples prudish opinions.

First of all you cant prove that what I have described is a perversion so before you make such statements you should have a scripture that explicitly states what I have said is a perversion.  The bible lists what are considered perversions, sex with animals, relatives, same sex, etc performing non intercourse sexual acts with ones wife is not a perversion.

Perversion is a perversion of anything natural, as I already stated. The womb is designed for intercourse, no other human oriface is.

The bible word for perversion is porniea which means illicit sexual intercourse.

And I'm getting the feeling you just like talking about dirt the same as you like doing it. I'm guessing it's even more fun on a christian forum where you can disguise it under an attempt to justify your actions.

you have no scripture to support your claims and you ignore those scriplutres that tell you that you are living in sin.

[chosenone]

if you have acknowledged your errors why arent you doing anything to correct them? If you know that sex before marriage is wrong, why are you still doing it? if you know that marrying a non Christian is wong, why are you still intending to marry one? You keep saying that you are working on it, but if you are really wanting to obey God then you will give up living the way that you want to and live His way,  but sadly you arent wanting to stop sinning enough.
Really you need to stop haivng sex now, pray for your girlfriend to become a Christian, show her the right way for a Christian to live, and if she doesnt become a Christian you need to break up that relationship.If she does then you can ask her to marry you after your divorce comes through and then you can have sex.
None of these things are easy but millions of others do live this way and God will bless you for being obedient.Do you want a  future that is blessed and that is in Gods will or do you want a  future that will probably be full of more heartache and unhappiness?Dont say we didnt warn you.We do reap what we sow in the end.

If trying to do what God tells us, and trying to show others that they are heading for disaster and trouble is wrong then so be it.
To accuse us of being in a cult is just another way that you are using to justify the sin that you are committing.
A novel way of doing it.
if you hate us  here so much then why do you keep coming back?

[Rahn]

This topic went completely off in another direction. I began this thread with the intention of opening the eyes of those who are dating or are married. (I could have put this in the marriage section) I have seen things that have been very discouraging with the aging of parents. Yet, I have seen endurance in the caring of a loved one. I have seen patience and gentleness in the heart of my dad. Life can make or break a person. Tragedy can lead one to ruin or can be a period where you truly allow God to work in your heart.

My faith has had its ups and downs. My dreams of being married years ago did not come to pass. I am too old to start a family and not rich enough to offer much support for an already made family. I do not know what God has in mind for my future regarding dating. I do not have much of a desire. It is more melancholy or kind longing.

I want to say this when it comes to dating. Dating is looking down the road at the person. Should you fall in love, can you take care of this person? In sickness and in health. My dad and mom learned that in their care for each other. Yes, they had their struggles. However, my mom learned years ago that comfort is better than control. My dad learned it in taking care of her. COMFORT NOT CONTROL is what God truly wants in a marriage.