young christian relationship?

[jumpinggiraffe]

I'm only 17 and a christian, i have been talking to a guy at my sixth form for about 4 months and really like him. he is very shy and he kissed me at a recent party so -
I feel that this could lead somewhere more but i am very "anti-relationships" because i'd like to abstain from sex until married,
he has no obvious interest in religion, so i'm worried that he wouldn't understand my beliefs. only 3 of my friends are christian, and are not in the same situation so find it hard to understand.

any thoughts?

[NIV]

I think your concerns are valid.

If I was younger I might go for it. Why? because it would fill a  desire and feel really good to be in a relationship. I haven't had any romance in many years, so I sort of understand.

Now that I'm old and hopefully wiser, I would choose not to get involved. Because I have been through some difficult really painful times.

I think you are struggling with instant gratification vs. delayed gratification, which we all struggle with.

I am almost a 100% able to say that God would not want you to "missionary date" and that He has a better match for you.

[chosenone]

If he isnt a Christian dont even go there. God doesnt want you to go out with a non Christian guy (even apart from the sex bit).

[yesult]

As above. 'Missionary dating' can cost you your own faith. Wait for the man God has for you, don't try to shortcut the process. It isn't fair to either you or the guy you end up with  because you won't be equally yoked.

Few people who do this keep their faith (because it's gernally preferring a person over God no matter how the christian trys to justify it) and the ones who do, can really struggle, sometimes at the eventual cost of their relationship.

It's not worth the risk.

Pray for him, invite him to church even, but don't encourage him into a false commitment to christianity to please you, or try to change him. Only God can do that. And God doesn't usually work around our agendas in this area (although that might sound like a harsh way to put it.)

Most christian singles face this at some point, don't worry. I nearly made a disasterous mistake myself in this area once. Many give in and the cost can be huge.

[EmbsComputerArt]

If he's already kissing you he has no manners.  Drop him.

[janine]

At 17 you have no business tying yourself to some dude in any way, anyway.

I'll tell you the same things I've told my children:

You're a kid.  I have underwear older than you are!  Attend to the business at hand, finish school, don't worry about romance at this point.

You shouldn't be dating until you're ready to be mating.

And:

Don't do anything with him that you'd not do with your Dad.  In public.  In church.  Witnessed by your elderly maiden aunt, the Queen and the Pope.

[JohnDB]

At 17 you have no business tying yourself to some dude in any way, anyway.

I'll tell you the same things I've told my children:

You're a kid.  I have underwear older than you are!  Attend to the business at hand, finish school, don't worry about romance at this point.

You shouldn't be dating until you're ready to be mating.

And:

Don't do anything with him that you'd not do with your Dad.  In public.  In church.  Witnessed by your elderly maiden aunt, the Queen and the Pope.

I am gonna agree with Janine here.

Lets put it this way. Obviously you like the guy. I can understand that and it is wonderful to feel the attraction from him for you. (a delicious ego stroke)

But ultimately what the truth of the situation is is that dating is what leads to marriage. And marriage is a very difficult thing. Look over some of these other threads and you will find where a Christian woman married a non-Christian man (and vice versa) and now they are miserable.

Obviously you like the attention and him...so be his friend...knowing that it is solely because you two are trapped together in classes. So....I wouldn't let it get any farther than what it already has.

[777]

If he isnt a Christian dont even go there. God doesnt want you to go out with a non Christian guy (even apart from the sex bit).

This

[lonegreywolf20]

I can't believe that everyone is saying not to get involved with him.

My wife and have made it work. I wasn'y a Christyian when she started dating me, but now I am. I still struggle at times with what I am supposed to do with Christianity and stuff, and we have our disagreements, but we're making it work. She realizes that I am a baby Christian and I am going to make mistakes. She knows that God put us together.

I say pray about it and seek God's guidance. It's what my wife did.

[janman345]

Just focus on school and possibly going to college.  The economy and job market are brutal right now and you want all the training/school you can get.  If you can manage a relationship while doing this then more power to you but it sounds like you are getting caught up in drama.

Also an aside, alot of guys dont want to marry someone if they are not sure they are sexually compatable, sorry that might not fit your values but thats real life.  To much drama and pain when a guy gets into a marriage and finds out his wife wont do X, Y or Z in bed, you can talk about it all you want but until you actually do it your not going to know if you like performing certian sexual acts or not.  Our society is set up to favor women in a divorce so smart men who have something going on in their life (christians and non christians) are going to be very careful.  Just because a guy is a christian does not mean he has to throw reason or logic out the window.

[IamStefanie]

I can't believe that everyone is saying not to get involved with him.

My wife and have made it work. I wasn'y a Christyian when she started dating me, but now I am. I still struggle at times with what I am supposed to do with Christianity and stuff, and we have our disagreements, but we're making it work. She realizes that I am a baby Christian and I am going to make mistakes. She knows that God put us together.

I say pray about it and seek God's guidance. It's what my wife did.

I so agree!!! Everyong is quick to say don't this don't do that. But first off, did the young lady say they guy was not a Christian? And because he kissed her does not mean he is disrepectful - it's quite natural. An issue would be if he attempted to do something she did not want to do. Obviously she was cool with it, otherwise, she wouldn't be posting on this forum. Now, in my opinion, the issue is, whether or not she wants to pursue anything more.

So, to the OP I say: If the young man is a Christian and LIVING as such, then if you parents are ok with it (smile), then feel free to date him. However, understand this (and I agree with whoever posted this comment b/c I have been there done that): dating someone should be on the INTENTION of becoming their mate in marriage. So, don't date this young man simply to have something to do.
On the other hand, if you want to stay away from a relationship b/c you feel it will intefere with your abstinence and you are not ready for marriage, then stop while you are ahead. Let him know what's going on with you and how you feel. If you believe you can be his friend and you want to be his friend, then I believe if he is of faith and of understanding, then it won't be a problem; otherwise, let it go.

But, before you take anyone's advice, go to God first. And He will direct you. One of our responses will just be confirmation (hopefully..smile).

--Stefanie