Advice?

[baswords]

Hey first time poster, and this is my story.

So I've been a Christian my entire life and at 13 my dad asked me if it would be alright if we moved because of a promotion that he was going to accept. I said okay because I had been praying for awhile that God would show me what He wanted for me. We moved and I felt that God was going to show me the girl I was to marry, and sure enough that sunday at a small church in Ohio, I walked and saw her and felt a sense of peace knowing that was her. We became very good friends and I moved back to AZ 4 years later. Their family visited us often and after a year it was time for college and come to find out we were both going to the same  christian University. After a few weeks in our first semester we started dating and both knew that it was God's call for us to be together. We both lived for God and grew close through the year and seven months we dated. We had our wedding planned (even the date) and I had asked permission from her father for her hand in marriage. This summer I was to buy the ring and she knew this and was exited for it.

Well this last semester she spent 5 weeks in Israel with a group of 30 people from my University as a study abroad program my school offers. We talked on skype everyday, and our love for each other was very strong. The day she got back, she calls me to tell me that God told her to break up with me and to marry this guy she just met on the trip after knowing him for 5 weeks. No one told me this before we started dating, but apparently God has told her to marry the 2 guys she dated before me. One is now married and the other one made her stumble in her faith with sexual actions. My friends have told me they see this all the time with guys/gals going on these trips and having a "spiritual high" with another person, then they see that person as perfect for them because they dont know them that well, while she has known me 7 years and knows my faults.

Just wondering what your thoughts on this are? Do you believe God would call someone from a relationship that was Christ centered and both people in the relationship knew that it was God's calling for them after almost two years?

Thanks!

[chosenone]

If this is the third man that she has said that God told her to marry(or 4th including you), then she clearly isnt listening to God, and it clearly isnt God speaking to her. To be honest if she can turn away from you this easily, then is she the women that you want to be your wife?Even if she came back, is she going to do this again with another man? Will she be faithful to you even if you did get married?
By the way,I have known people who have claimed that God told them to do things that were clearly worng, so dont believe it every time you hear that. I doubt that He said any such thing.   

This may actually be a warning to you from God that she isnt the right one, so you need to ask Him what is happening and what He wants you to do.

[baswords]

Those same thoughts crossed my mind. I told her that this is not God. He is not a confused God where it is going to take Him 4 relationships to find the right one. If she did come back to me wanting to continue our relationship I would only take her back as a friend. She hurt me enough playing the God card, I can't take that same thing if we were to marry. No one told me about her being called by God to marry these other guys and she never said anything about it either, even when I asked, until after she broke up with me. I wish people would have said something to me so I would have known what was going on. I knew when she told me God told her to break up with me that it was not God and very wrong to be doing. It couldn't have been more clear. I've known her for 7 years and now she wont say a word to me, as if I had done something terrible.

Just found out today that the guy she has known 6 weeks (and only been around for 5 of those) now already have a wedding day planned and this is before they have been on one date. Just praying for them that they don't rush into things without knowing one another and ending up in a divorced marriage, if it makes it to that.

[chosenone]

Wow baswords, that relationship/marriage is doomed for disaster in my opinion.She barely knows this guy. She is clearly confused about relationships and needs help.She sounds very mixed up and immature. Even if they do marry how long will it last?

When she said that God has called her to be married to those 2 guys before, you she must have been very very young.
I feel sorry for this guy, does he know, I wonder, that he is the 4th man who God has supposedly told her to marry?
It doesnt bode well and I doubt that it will last, or maybe it will last till the next potential husband comes along

I know it is painful for you, but maybe God has saved you a lot more pain in the long run.Try to forgive her, it may take time, but she seems mixed up and slightly delusional.

[yesult]

God does show people who he'd like them to marry as much as he tells them other things. However he also doesn't make mistakes. If you felt sure that 'God showed you' that she was the one and she wasn't, then he didn't tell you either.

You're both wrong.

God is good. He is also God. He can see the future which is why his words are sure.

This is why 'testing the spirits' is so vital. I had a bunch of prophecies about a guy I thought I was supposed to marry. He had 'peace'. His mother (pastors wife) got a prophecy, very detailed, and virtually everyone else who prayed for us got words or prophecies too. 'Confirmation' everywhere.  Even the pulpit at one church we visited on a missions trip. We were called out as a couple at another church to be prayed over  except we baulked.

All good on the surface except I was getting unhappier and unhappier the longer I was with him even though he was such a great guy. It's funny now looking back, but he just simply wasn't the right guy for me.

It was the hardest lesson in 'testing the spirits' for myself that I think I ever learned. But sometimes the lessons burned deeply enough into your spirit become pivotal to your personal journey as a christian.

Part of it was my own fault too. Ouch. But at least I didn't marry him. That would have had more far reaching consequences.

[MosesTheLevite]

Those same thoughts crossed my mind. I told her that this is not God. He is not a confused God where it is going to take Him 4 relationships to find the right one. If she did come back to me wanting to continue our relationship I would only take her back as a friend. She hurt me enough playing the God card, I can't take that same thing if we were to marry. No one told me about her being called by God to marry these other guys and she never said anything about it either, even when I asked, until after she broke up with me. I wish people would have said something to me so I would have known what was going on. I knew when she told me God told her to break up with me that it was not God and very wrong to be doing. It couldn't have been more clear. I've known her for 7 years and now she wont say a word to me, as if I had done something terrible.

Just found out today that the guy she has known 6 weeks (and only been around for 5 of those) now already have a wedding day planned and this is before they have been on one date. Just praying for them that they don't rush into things without knowing one another and ending up in a divorced marriage, if it makes it to that.

She owns a part of your heart.
My friend if this is correct
you are in for pain and grief in your heart.

You will have to ride it out

till you replace the part of your heart with God or someone else or something else.

I feel sorry for you...I know that does not help you...but

You can over come this...

Just be sure and learn from it and never get in this kind of problem ever again.

Isn't God wonderful?

[janine]

It's hard to lose her because you've invested several years in her.

But, if you were older, those years would seem like a much smaller percentage of your life.

Time heals. 

Make sure you don't "rebound" onto another girl.

[baswords]

Thanks for time and words everyone. Looking back now I can see the good in this, she needs to work somethings out with God, as do I. I don't know if I should tell this guy she just met about all of the other people she has been 'called' to marry. That's just something I will have to pray about, but I feel it's not my place. God has His plan. I won't be rebounding on anyone. Most likely just work through the rest of my college days single and focused on my career and if God brings someone by then great. Sure I miss her and still have a love for her, but God has worked through this and expanded into my heart to fill what was left.