...

[dothackzero]

...

[chosenone]

Do you join in with things at church and outside where you can meet others of your age? Maybe do sports, join clubs, do some voluntary work etc. The best way to make friends is to do things together. Help out at church. What about college,school or work? Do you mix with others there?

[JohnDB]

OK Dude...

Girls, for the most part,  are stupid. (what you tell yourself while speaking to them)

They are rather normal and not a group to be put on a pedestal. They are simply human beings. They are attracted to strength...strength of character, social position, morals, values, body and etc.

If you do not see yourself as a great catch...neither will they.

Healthy white male with a good job and skills?
Fahhhggettaboutiiiiit.....they will be all over you like white on rice.

Just need to learn to be social and talk...not Mr. Chatterbox but hold a conversation. If you need to talk to your doctor about maybe some medication to make that more possible...well then do so. It won't hurt.

[azteacher8062]

Sometimes when you are not looking for something, is when you find that person finds you. Just live your life and make yourself happy. He has plans for us all. You just need to live your life to make HIM happy. It might be then that person tends to show up.

[HRoberson]

Girlfriends are over rated - they take time, want attention, have screwy hormones, cost money, and expect you to be clean.

Women, made by God, are not to be seen as an objective, but loved and nurtured.

Other humans are not intended to fulfill your needs, you are intended to fulfill theirs.

Quit trying so hard.

[dothackzero]

...

[yesult]

Girlfriends are over rated - they take time, want attention, have screwy hormones, cost money, and expect you to be clean.

Thanks HR, I needed a laugh. And it is a good point. A girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend is a waste of time. It's play marriage and will only wear your emotions. Save everything you have for the woman you intend to spend the rest of your life with. And if it's a girlfriend with the intention of taking it further because you think it's someone you might want to marry, great. But just for their own sake.......

(they really will spend your money and waste your time - as you'll waste theirs.)

[celine]

There's no point in forcing things- you've got years ahead in which to find someone with whom to have a fulfilling Christian relationship. I'm 18 and have yet to date (I would not have been allowed to prior to now) but I am in no rush. I see this as growing-up time and I'm prepared to wait to meet someone who is right for me, not to have a boyfriend for the sake of it.
If Social Anxiety is a problem, have you considered trying Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? It's quick and generally very effective.

[dothackzero]

...

[celine]

There are non-Christians who don't marry either. I don't think your faith is the issue. I would be wary of self-diagnosing the root of your anxiety. A professional can help you by virtue of their experience and objectivity.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

I can't get rid of this fear that I'll never get a girlfriend. I mean, I have problem with fear, and I think I just figured out that it's a fear of not knowing. I'm really starting to realize that not knowing is always where I'm having a problem with anxiety.

And hearing about Christians who are 45, 52 who love God and have never been married. It just scares the crap out of me. Sorry, just wanted to let you know why I'm so worried about it.

Every time I read one of your posts, I just have the overwhelming urge to tell you to lighten up.  So... lighten up!

Even if you go to prison tomorrow for the rest of your life, God will still love you, and you could still have a productive life with real relationships with people who needed your help.

If you were para-dropped onto a deserted island tomorrow, you could still have a productive, if solitary, life, not unlike the one that God designed for Adam in Genesis.

Stop worrying about what might happen.  Deal with what is happening.

Take risks.  Do things that terrify you.  Make mistakes. Embarass yourself and others.  These are parts of life, and they're only bad for a moment.  Afterwards, they're lessons and memories, and stories you can tell people and laugh about.

Jarrod

[IamStefanie]

You'll find your wife one day honey. Work on that social anxiety and ask to break that fear that is holding you back now. The wife will come...Live your life and stop worrying! Remember the Lord will supply you with all of your needs.

[Hehealedme]

.

[arleigh]

i first would like to know what your devotion is to the Lord.
or more importantly decide where your devotion to the Lord is going to go, and where Jesus Lordship  should be in you. Make this relationship the one to pursue and comit your future to God's hand in your life . as you learn to walk in obedience to the leading of the Holy spirit , His providence will work things out for you.
I speak from expirence

[LYNNS1971]

I AM LIKE YOU I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER.  I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN SO IT WOULD HAVE TO BE SOMEONE WHO WILL PUT GOD FIRST.  I HAVE FOUND THAT THERE ARE NOT ALOT OF GOOD CHOICES OUT THERE.  MOST OF THE TIME I AM AT WORK SO I DON'T GET OUT ALOT TO SOCIALIZE.  I AM NOT SURE WHERE TO FIND THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE?  IF YOU FIND OUT CAN YOU LET THE REST OF US KNOW. LOL.

[chosenone]

I AM LIKE YOU I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER.  I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN SO IT WOULD HAVE TO BE SOMEONE WHO WILL PUT GOD FIRST.  I HAVE FOUND THAT THERE ARE NOT ALOT OF GOOD CHOICES OUT THERE.  MOST OF THE TIME I AM AT WORK SO I DON'T GET OUT ALOT TO SOCIALIZE.  I AM NOT SURE WHERE TO FIND THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE?  IF YOU FIND OUT CAN YOU LET THE REST OF US KNOW. LOL.

I dont know how old you are but if there arent any decent guys at your church, then why not try a good Christian dating site. I met my husband on one, and my son met his fiance on one.
If you havent yet joined a church then try that first.

[LYNNS1971]

I AM 39 YRS OLD.  THERE IS ONLY ONE SINGLE MAN AT MY CHURCH AND HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE INTERESTED IN DATING ANYONE.  NOT SURE OF THE RIGHT CHRISTIAN DATING SITE. ANY SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE GREAT.
THANKS :)

[chosenone]

I AM 39 YRS OLD.  THERE IS ONLY ONE SINGLE MAN AT MY CHURCH AND HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE INTERESTED IN DATING ANYONE.  NOT SURE OF THE RIGHT CHRISTIAN DATING SITE. ANY SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE GREAT.
THANKS :)

Is there any chance that you could go to a larger church where there are more people?How about Christian singles events and holidays?I do appreciate what you are facing as single Christian men of that sort of age are thin on the ground, but a Christian dating site is a possibility for you.I do know of about 5 or 6 Christian couples that have met this way.
If you are from the USA I cant really help as the sites that I used are in the UK and  for the UK only. Maybe others here can help with that?Otherwise google Christisn dating sites and research them, as some arent really Christian ones, but make out that they are.

[LYNNS1971]

reply to choseone:  YES I AM FROM THE US, INDIANA TO BE EXACT.  HAVE TRIED SOME CHRISTIAN DATING SITES BUT HAVE NOT FOUND ANY THAT I LIKE YET.  THEY SAY THEY ARE CHRISTIAN DATING BUT HAVE SO FAR FOUND NONE THAT ARE TRUELY WHAT THEY SAY.  THANKS FOR THE INFO THOUGH.  NICE TO CORRESPOND WITH SOMEONE FROM THE UK. NOT EVERYDAY THAT HAPPENS LOL.

[chosenone]

reply to choseone:  YES I AM FROM THE US, INDIANA TO BE EXACT.  HAVE TRIED SOME CHRISTIAN DATING SITES BUT HAVE NOT FOUND ANY THAT I LIKE YET.  THEY SAY THEY ARE CHRISTIAN DATING BUT HAVE SO FAR FOUND NONE THAT ARE TRUELY WHAT THEY SAY.  THANKS FOR THE INFO THOUGH.  NICE TO CORRESPOND WITH SOMEONE FROM THE UK. NOT EVERYDAY THAT HAPPENS LOL.

keep looking,and hopefully someone else here may be able to recommend one there for you. Also you do need to give it time. I was on 2 different sites for 2 years before I met my husband, and a lady that I got to know was there for 7 years before she met her man,(now there's patience for you)
God Bless.

[cacoca]

I dont know what it is i cant socialize, I have no friends, i cant think of anything to say nor do I have motivaion, i read the bible and pray and became born again, still nothing, whats wrong with me?

[JohnDB]

I dont know what it is i cant socialize, I have no friends, i cant think of anything to say nor do I have motivaion, i read the bible and pray and became born again, still nothing, whats wrong with me?

Get involved with a small group bible study. There they will have "fellowship" gatherings revolving around games and potlucks...and then get some hobbies and needs...

For example if you drive a car...pull a spark plug wire and then have one of the guys you are interested in look at it...thank him by making him a lunch...

Or if you have a picture you need hanging ask one of the guys to hang it...again thank him by making him some lunch.

IOW...guys will work for food...and the quickest way to a guy's heart is through his stomach.

[cacoca]

I think you might have confused me for a female, I am a man.

I dont know what it is i cant socialize, I have no friends, i cant think of anything to say nor do I have motivaion, i read the bible and pray and became born again, still nothing, whats wrong with me?

Get involved with a small group bible study. There they will have "fellowship" gatherings revolving around games and potlucks...and then get some hobbies and needs...

For example if you drive a car...pull a spark plug wire and then have one of the guys you are interested in look at it...thank him by making him a lunch...

Or if you have a picture you need hanging ask one of the guys to hang it...again thank him by making him some lunch.

IOW...guys will work for food...and the quickest way to a guy's heart is through his stomach.

[JohnDB]

Ooopppssss. 
Sorry.
Well. Just hang out @ small group bible study.