Single Bad or Good?

[AshleighNA]

What do you think? Does being single a bad or good thing?

I'm so tired of not having anyone >.< Feeling lonely all the time suuucks.

[chosenone]

I think it depends entirely on the person. Some people say they are entirely happy to be single and some like you, really want to meet someone. So for you, it isnt good and for them, it is.

I am like you. For as long as I could remeber as a child, I longed to marry and have children. I married at 19 and had 3 children.When I unexpectly became alone again 23 years later, I hated being a single parent, but did have to accept that at that age(early 40's) I may well have to be on my own for the rest of my life. After 6 years I did meet my now husband, so I am fortunate, but I did get proactive and met him on a dating site.
I honestly believe that if you have a really strong desire to marry, then God will bless you in that way.Much older women who want a Christian man may well not be so fortunate, as there are so few around of middle age and older who are available.

I dont know how old you are , but my son is marrying next year and he will be 33 at that time(he also met his fiqance on a Christian dating site). So he had to wait ages. My middle child is 30 and has just started going out with a guy, but if he isnt the one then she will still have to wait. She longs to meet the right man like you.

[JohnDB]

Boy howdy do I know that feeling...

Boy Howdy do I know I shoulda been content with my life as it was.

I remember a couple of years ago...I was flirtin with all kinds of women...going places and doing things that I could never do as a married person or as a person with a steady GF.

(I love to flirt when single...it is sorta a hobby)

If you can ever figure out it isn't being alone that really sucks...it is how you are simply perceiving being single that is the issue.

Just remember this one lesson that I have learned the hard way.
There are worse things than being alone and miserable...and that is usually adding another person to add to your misery.

In whatever circumstances you find yourself in...BE TRULY CONTENT.
It will make finding someone a much funner and pleasing process.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

Speaking generally and to nobody in particular...

If you can't be happy by yourself, what makes you think you can be happy with another person?

It is true that in a relationship, if one person is down, then the other can help bring them up.  However, doing so will bring down the person who is helping.  They give to their partner from their own reserves of energy in order to bring them up, achieving a balance in the middle.

So, that person cannot "make you happy" forever - that is asking them to carry the burdens of your entire life in addition to their own!  (How very selfish.)  Each person has to receive as well as give.  They can receive from each other - reciprocation - but you can't both lift each other at the same time.  It's like getting into a bucket and then trying to lift it up.

Each person has to be able to bring something positive into the relationship from outside.

The question is - What Can You Bring to the Relationship?

[AshleighNA]

Speaking generally and to nobody in particular...

If you can't be happy by yourself, what makes you think you can be happy with another person?

It is true that in a relationship, if one person is down, then the other can help bring them up.  However, doing so will bring down the person who is helping.  They give to their partner from their own reserves of energy in order to bring them up, achieving a balance in the middle.

So, that person cannot "make you happy" forever - that is asking them to carry the burdens of your entire life in addition to their own!  (How very selfish.)  Each person has to receive as well as give.  They can receive from each other - reciprocation - but you can't both lift each other at the same time.  It's like getting into a bucket and then trying to lift it up.

Each person has to be able to bring something positive into the relationship from outside.

The question is - What Can You Bring to the Relationship?

thats not what goes on when i do have a bf. in fact i want to make someone happy and be happy.

thanks for making me feel worse >.<

[IamStefanie]

Single is good, as it is gift from God. The personal time to be alone with Him and to Him to yourself as a individual is a gift. Unfortunately, a lot of times, we don't see our singleness that way. We see it as not being wanted by someone or being lonely or somehow being inferior. Not the case.
Being single is a gift and God has us in this place for one reason or another I believe. For me, I know (with my own ability) that this is time for me to grow spritually so that my works may be displayed on the outside. I take this as a time to spend time as a single adult woman with my family, to raise my son and to work on my relationship with his dad. I feel like at this time I have  enough going on. And, yes I do want to marry one day. I want to be a wife. But I have to trust God on this and accept this time as He wants me to. So that's where I'm at today. Yes, I do get lonely. I get tempted sexually. But all in all I know that this is a gift and I thank God for this time. I'm accepting it every day and working to be what He wants me to be.

So again, yes, singleness is a gift from God. If you have not already, please read the scriptures that Paul wrote about it. And once you do accept this gift and use it WISELY, then I believe you will appreciate this time you have with the Lord for YOU.

Be blessed

Stefanie

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

Speaking generally and to nobody in particular...

If you can't be happy by yourself, what makes you think you can be happy with another person?

It is true that in a relationship, if one person is down, then the other can help bring them up.  However, doing so will bring down the person who is helping.  They give to their partner from their own reserves of energy in order to bring them up, achieving a balance in the middle.

So, that person cannot "make you happy" forever - that is asking them to carry the burdens of your entire life in addition to their own!  (How very selfish.)  Each person has to receive as well as give.  They can receive from each other - reciprocation - but you can't both lift each other at the same time.  It's like getting into a bucket and then trying to lift it up.

Each person has to be able to bring something positive into the relationship from outside.

The question is - What Can You Bring to the Relationship?

thats not what goes on when i do have a bf. in fact i want to make someone happy and be happy.

thanks for making me feel worse >.<

  Sorry if it does, but why should it?  Surely there must be positive things in your life that you would want to share with someone else.  What are they?  Focus on that.

[acmcccxlviii]

The apostle Paul said (I can't exactly remember where, probably Romans) that singlehood was good and that those who were single should not look for a wife (or presumably husband), but if it is considered unfeasible, one should get married.

[acmcccxlviii]

  To me, it seems obvious that singlehood is good.  Apart from the New Testament directive, singlehood gives one freedom to direct oneself to what one wants to do, without the overwhelming chains that result from being, or even desiring to be, involved with someone else.
  It is not feasible to describe all the overt and subtle ways in which relationships bind one, but some inevitable examples are lack of trust about what one's partner is doing, insecurity about how things will go between them,  lack of freedom to do anything without reference to the other, misunderstandings, arguments, hurts, unquantifiable problems with children, which is a likely result.
  People wanting relationships, whether in marriage or not, are, of necessity, forever bound in an inescapable web and those who have children, never leave childhood.  Another fact to ponder is that apparently, about 45% of marriages end in divorce.

[chosenone]

acmcccxlv11
I am married but I dont see it as you do. I see it as a freedom, not being bound in chains or as a web. Goodness what a bleak picture to portray of marriage. I felt far more bound when I was a single mum, bound with debt, bound with having to be a mum and dad, having no one to share with, now THAT was bondage to me. Now I have come alive.

[IamStefanie]

Hi  Ashleigh,
I was thinking about this post when I left work yesterday, and my views on singledom are based off of my own personal experiences (I've yet to be married but I have been in several relationshipships and have not been in God's will) as they tie in with God's word.
I know there are some singles out there who have yet to be with someone or to have a mate. They say you don't miss what you don't have and that may be true. But, you desire what you desire and if you desire a mate, then I can understand the lonliness that comes with you being single. But please keep in mind that singleness AND marriage is a gift from God.

To acmcccxlv11, I have the same ideas that you do in regards to the benefits of singledom; however, marriage is a beautiful gift when it's from God and when the two people involved are both loving and God fearing individuals. And yes, Paul did state that there would be problems in marriage if we chose to go that route, yet, it is still a gift if we marry someone who we are equally yoked with. The issues that you mentioned will be come minor because of the love that is within the marriage. I believe when you are married to someone, yes, the freedom of physical singleness must go. You cannot just do everything you want to do. You must consider your mate as the bible speaks of. But there should be a Godly freedom, in the marriage that you don't feel SPIRITUALLY tied down.

As Paul said, marriage and singleness are a gift from God and in either position, we are to be content. That is where the spiritual freedom comes from. It starts from being free in Christ so that you will be content no matter who you are or what you do.

[acmcccxlviii]

  Hi, Chosenone.  It seems strange that, when replying, you pointed out that being a single mum with debt was a bind - you have exactly re-stated my point.  Presumably, as I know of only one account of a virgin birth, you have not been completely single, at least for a short time.  It seems you want a partner to least partly to help with the burden.
  You say you don't see marriage as a bind.  I'd like to ask - what about my desciption that you reject do you disagree with?  and - In what way is it a freedom?

[acmcccxlviii]

  Hi, IamStephanie.  Whereas I can see that, when two people are unified in belief and agenda, there is an advantage in getting on, saying each other's point of view, etc., I think you are being optimistic when you say that the problems will be minor compared to the blessings.
  Does the Bible really say that marriage in the Christian era is a good thing?  I'm not a biblical expert, but the only piece of scripture on the subject with which I am familiar is (I think in Romans) where Paul states in his opinion it is better to remain single, if it's plausible.

[chosenone]

  Hi, Chosenone.  It seems strange that, when replying, you pointed out that being a single mum with debt was a bind - you have exactly re-stated my point.  Presumably, as I know of only one account of a virgin birth, you have not been completely single, at least for a short time.  It seems you want a partner to least partly to help with the burden.
  You say you don't see marriage as a bind.  I'd like to ask - what about my desciption that you reject do you disagree with?  and - In what way is it a freedom?

I was married for 25 years first time till it ended suddenly and traumatically. Was then a single mum for 6 years. Have now been married for 5 years, and I love it. I dont see marriage as a 'web', or a 'bind' at all, I love being married, and I dont see it as loosing freedom in anyway. I feel a freedom being married that I didnt before. Of course you do need to be married to the right person, or it can be like a prison. My husbands first marriage ended after 23 years(wife had an affair) and he said it felt as if he had come out of prison when it ended.
Being married to the wrong person must be far worse then being alone.

[acmcccxlviii]

Your last sentence suggests you see something the same way as me.  However what you say you seems to support my point.  The obvious point is one does not know whether the person is "the right person" and anecdotal and statistical evidence shows that he/she is unlikely to be.  Once joined, a person is embroilled in a web of problems.

[chosenone]

A marriage can be what you make it. If you think it will be like a web or a burden then it probably will be. Although all the marriages in my family have been disasters due to adultery, I have so many Christian friends with brilliant marriages, that are a joy to see. I barely know any Christians whose marriages have ended.Almost All the marriages that I know that have ended were between 2 non Christians, or between a Christian and a non Christian.
One verse that shows Gods intention for marriage is the one that says "Its not good for man to be alone". Paul apparetly thought that Jesus would be back in his life time, which coloured his views on whether marriage was a good idea.

[fassopony]

Since being saved I have been exposed to so many loving, fun and Godly marriages!  I know nothing is ever perfect of course but it is so refreshing :)

I grew up very cynical of marriage, my mother married and divorced 5 times, seemed to me marriage was a bunch of hooey and divorce a waste of time and money.  What a change God has made!!

[chosenone]

Since being saved I have been exposed to so many loving, fun and Godly marriages!  I know nothing is ever perfect of course but it is so refreshing :)

I grew up very cynical of marriage, my mother married and divorced 5 times, seemed to me marriage was a bunch of hooey and divorce a waste of time and money.  What a change God has made!!

Wow 5 times, that is so sad for her and you.
Yes I know what you mean fasspony.
By rights I should also be cynical, with nearly all the marriages in my family having ended because of adultery. My dad had an 8 year affair,(and probably others as well), his dad was unfaithful and his mum divorced him, and my poor brother has been through 2 divorces after both his wives were unfaithful, and also my marriage having ended so suddenly, but you know, I have hope, and thats why I married again. Also the next generation are still getting married so they still have hope. My brothers son, my nephew, married 2 years ago and both of his parents have been married and divorced twice,and are now with new partners. Also my son marries next year and I pray that their generation will be the ones to break this cycle.
A marriage with God in the right place is a blessing indeed.

[IamStefanie]

  Hi, IamStephanie.  Whereas I can see that, when two people are unified in belief and agenda, there is an advantage in getting on, saying each other's point of view, etc., I think you are being optimistic when you say that the problems will be minor compared to the blessings.
  Does the Bible really say that marriage in the Christian era is a good thing?  I'm not a biblical expert, but the only piece of scripture on the subject with which I am familiar is (I think in Romans) where Paul states in his opinion it is better to remain single, if it's plausible.

Hi acmcccxlviii,
(Smile) I must remain optimistic about marriage when it is tied into a God fearing, loving relationship. I know that troubles will arise. And to be quite honest, that is one of my concerns about me entering a marriage. But I do desire to be married and I feel that when it's my time, if God allows me to meet someone to get married, then the love of God, His word and each other in the marriage will overcome the issues that will arise.

I Corinthians 7:2 States in the American Standard Bible 'But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.' and it goes on down in 7:9 to say 'But if they do not have self - control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.' I know people can walk away. I know people can and do cheat. But again, I have to remain faithful and not look at my partner in suspect everytime I wake up next to him in the morning for fear of what he may or may not do that day. If that's how I'm going to live, then I should not be married. That is my opinion for myself or anyone else who desires marriage.

Yes, the Bible states that marriage is a gift (from God) just as singleness is a gift. From I Corinthians 7:7, from the Message Bible: 'Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.'
And Paul says in either situation, be content, I Corinthians 7:17 from the Message Bible 'And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don't think I'm being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.'

See, if we would be CONTENT in our marriages and stop looking to live the single life, then things may be more successful because the two individuals would try to make the marriage work. Just as singles - stop looking to be married to the point where you don't enjoy the life that God has given you.

[Cally]

Boy howdy do I know that feeling...

Boy Howdy do I know I shoulda been content with my life as it was.

I remember a couple of years ago...I was flirtin with all kinds of women...going places and doing things that I could never do as a married person or as a person with a steady GF.

(I love to flirt when single...it is sorta a hobby)

If you can ever figure out it isn't being alone that really sucks...it is how you are simply perceiving being single that is the issue.

Just remember this one lesson that I have learned the hard way.
There are worse things than being alone and miserable...and that is usually adding another person to add to your misery.

In whatever circumstances you find yourself in...BE TRULY CONTENT.
It will make finding someone a much funner and pleasing process.

Wise words.

I have long wondered if celibacy (for life, I mean) is for me. If it means winning one more soul over to the Lord, I will make the sacrifice to stay single. I take major "risks" (which really aren't risks at all, but bold, autonomous moves) that I can't imagine how they would work in the sorts of marriages I've seen. Remember that sometimes Jesus called people away from their families--not that there's anything wrong with that, but just remember that the prize is in heaven, and in general we're called to be patient for our eternal reward, right?

I hear people talk about how a man is going to get "domesticated" and such after he's married. I think modern marriages are just culturally expected to take a chunk out of a man's being and I'm quite convinced God didn't design Adam and Eve so stupidly for such a thing to occur as nature--only a product of sin should cause that.

Basically I still haven't cracked it, but the biggest opportunity of singlehood (as others have sorta-kinda mentioned) is an opportunity to clean up your own act without so much complication.

[JohnDB]

Being single isn't a solution. It is much easier to be single than involved in a committed relationship. Relationships cost each person intimacy & identity. You have to give these up to the other person. But in a truly great relationship the other person gives your identity back with a little of themselves to add to it.
It is really difficult to do this for a lot of people...giving in this sort of intimate fashion.
The thing I hate most about being single is the sheer volume of attention you give yourself instead of others or someone else. And from what I have experienced and seen that is what our world lacks most. 

[fassopony]

Thank you for your kind post, Chosenone :)

JohnDB, I think you are onto something...  I know that in the past my selfishness, pride (ME!??  LOL!!!) and (did I mention ego?) weird commitment issues have kept me from getting close to anyone.  Now I am glad, what a mess to be married to someone who isn't a Christian when I am now!

[chosenone]

John
Maybe I am strange but I find it the other way round. I find it much easier being married than being single.I have always felt that being a wife is what I wanted and I generally thrive being married. Maybe it is different for everyone, and depends on our personalities and character and what we want from life?
I am not a person who needs(or wants) to be with other people all the time, and I like to have peace and quiet and time to be away from the crowds, but my husband works at home and so we are together nearly all the time,and it suits me well.

[Josiah]

What do you think? Does being single a bad or good thing?

I'm so tired of not having anyone >.< Feeling lonely all the time suuucks.

Well, I guess being single allows self to focus more on self.  I'm not sure that's good, however....
And being single permits more time and energy on focus on stuff (work, etc.) which CAN be good....

For ME, it sucks. 
When I am alone (without a s/o), I feel powerfully alone.  There is a HUGE hole in my heart and I seem constantly aware of that.


I think it varies from person to person.  My older bro kinda "plays the field" and often is unattached (he kind of likes it that way).  He has a wide circle of friends - male and female - that he does stuff with, and he seems to prefer that kind of life.  My sister (the oldest) seems much like me, but she's married. 




.

[JohnDB]

What do you think? Does being single a bad or good thing?

I'm so tired of not having anyone >.< Feeling lonely all the time suuucks.

Well, I guess being single allows self to focus more on self.  I'm not sure that's good, however....
And being single permits more time and energy on focus on stuff (work, etc.) which CAN be good....

For ME, it sucks. 
When I am alone (without a s/o), I feel powerfully alone.  There is a HUGE hole in my heart and I seem constantly aware of that.


I think it varies from person to person.  My older bro kinda "plays the field" and often is unattached (he kind of likes it that way).  He has a wide circle of friends - male and female - that he does stuff with, and he seems to prefer that kind of life.  My sister (the oldest) seems much like me, but she's married. 
.

When Paul talked of being single instead of being married as a better thing it was because of his zeal for the lost and doing something about it. A spouse can get in the way of doing as much as he did...and usually does.

I have seen plenty of marriages where one of the two is sponging life off from the other person and that for some kind of psychological need the victim of the "vampire" allows it. IE One party feels the need to be worshiped and the other needs the scraps of attention from someone on a pedestal throws their direction.  Or a scenario of where one person needs to dominate the other and uses all kinds of manipulative techniques to do this. (none of which is any kind of healthy...but is sometimes seen in pastoral families)

Successful marriages include plenty of community involvement, (no taking someone off to an isolating environment) Not that the whole world gets to have input but that the large part of your relationship is in full view of your community. (not that there is no privacy) but that there is no domineering party in any part of the relationship.  Monsters always wish to control the light that they are seen in.

Marriage, when truly successful and not just long lasting, is when two INDEPENDENT parties come to give (and have something truly beneficial to give) while working towards a common goal of some kind...usually serving God in some fashion.  And what they find is always a surplus of benefits and resources in the good times and bad.

[chosenone]

That's sad John that you see so many marriages where one is 'sponging' off the other. I don't see that much in the marriages around me, but I do occasionally see one where one spouse is more controlling and one spouse that is controlled. More often that not though I do see two people who relate well and seem to compliment each other.Its a pleasure to see marriages among our friends at church that are good and healthy, especially after the disasters in the marriages in my family.
I am not sure what you mean by independent parties coming together. Everyone has times of being alone either before they marry or after a marriage break up, so they generally get used to coping alone. Also, today, people are marrying much much later, and so are having longer to live alone. My son for example is getting married next year at age 33. he left home at 24, so has had all that time to learn to look after himself, and that sort of age for marrying is quite common here.

Marriage is coming together as one and what one has becomes the others also, whether it be money, a house, gifts, abilities, skills, strengths etc etc.Nothing is 'yours' or 'mine' as I see it. If someone is afraid of being 'sponged' off then maybe don't get married to that person.(or at all).

[JohnDB]

Chosenone,
Independent means just that. Happy, well-adjusted, & able to live well without someone else supporting them.  Look over in YOUR forum of married people. Most of the postings over there are of a lot of unhappy people for one reason or another. Mostly due to their spouse.
So when we hear from you about how you and your husband are isolated from the bullk of your community and the sheer volume of your postings on this site (and thinking that this isn't the only one you post on) I wonder if your husband would claim that his life is as perfect as you are continually claiming yours is.

[chosenone]

Chosenone,
Independent means just that. Happy, well-adjusted, & able to live well without someone else supporting them.  Look over in YOUR forum of married people. Most of the postings over there are of a lot of unhappy people for one reason or another. Mostly due to their spouse.
So when we hear from you about how you and your husband are isolated from the bullk of your community and the sheer volume of your postings on this site (and thinking that this isn't the only one you post on) I wonder if your husband would claim that his life is as perfect as you are continually claiming yours is.

Wow not sure what I did to deserve that.  When did I say we were isolated from anyone? We are active members of our church, belong to a weekly home group, I belong to and am very involved in a woman's ministry, we have many good friends, and we are actively involved in our 5 adult children's lives. Hardly isolated. Never said my life was perfect, just that I am the happiest I have been for all of my adult life. Is it a crime then to be happily married?
As for my husband. He says he is the happiest he has ever been, and that I am the woman of his dreams. Everyone says how he has come alive since we met (even his son), Does that sound like a man who is unhappy?Its your perogative not to like me but your facts are totally wrong.

As for my posts, my husband works from home. My computer is next to his, and right next to the kitchen, so I can pop in and out between jobs and other things that I do.I go on it while he works. He is very supportive of the things that I do on the forum.
Everyone is free to post anywhere and many have mailed me with thanks for the help they have had, and to ask further questions, so maybe you haven't got it right.  By the way, I occasionally go onto one other forum which is very small and is from the UK. That is it. I do know some here who go onto several other forums, but is that a crime? Its up to them what they do surely. Do you attack them also?

[Bon Voyage]

This is the singles forum.  In most respects it should be treated as the Christian Men, and Christian Women forums.  If you are single, please keep posting in Christian Marriage to a minimum, and if you are married, please keep your posting in Christian Singles to a minimum.

Singles need encouragement from other singles, in the same way that married folks need encouragement from other marrieds.

[chosenone]

This is the singles forum.  In most respects it should be treated as the Christian Men, and Christian Women forums.  If you are single, please keep posting in Christian Marriage to a minimum, and if you are married, please keep your posting in Christian Singles to a minimum.

Singles need encouragement from other singles, in the same way that married folks need encouragement from other marrieds.

Thats very true, but all of us who are married, have been single at some point, and do have an understanding of what it can be like. Also we can see the advantages and disadvantages of marriage and singleness. Having adult Christian kids who are still single also helps to understand where you are all coming from. 

[k-pappy]

This is the singles forum.  In most respects it should be treated as the Christian Men, and Christian Women forums.  If you are single, please keep posting in Christian Marriage to a minimum, and if you are married, please keep your posting in Christian Singles to a minimum.

Singles need encouragement from other singles, in the same way that married folks need encouragement from other marrieds.

Thats very true, but all of us who are married, have been single at some point, and do have an understanding of what it can be like. Also we can see the advantages and disadvantages of marriage and singleness. Having adult Christian kids who are still single also helps to understand where you are all coming from. 

Chosenone, how about you listen to a moderator for a change?

You have a history of both arguing with moderators and posting in forums you should not.  Just once could you maybe follow the rules and listen to a mod without arguing?

[Visionary]

A married couple who are christian have divided interests. On one hand they want to please God. On the other hand they want to please each other. It is by far better in relationship with God to be single. Your interests are on how to please God. But compensation is given to singles who cannot control their flesh to marry. In this there is no sin if you do marry. 1 Corinthians 7 read all about it.... God bless. Not everyone can accept the command to remain single. It is given to the one who can accept it. matthew 19:10-12

[Cally]

A married couple who are christian have divided interests. On one hand they want to please God. On the other hand they want to please each other. It is by far better in relationship with God to be single. Your interests are on how to please God. But compensation is given to singles who cannot control their flesh to marry. In this there is no sin if you do marry. 1 Corinthians 7 read all about it.... God bless. Not everyone can accept the command to remain single. It is given to the one who can accept it. matthew 19:10-12

I thought Jesus' statement referred to getting married--whoever can accept the fact that there is almost no justification for divorce "should accept it."

[Visionary]

God bless Cally. Matthew 19:10-12 Jesus is speaking about eunechs. Those who never marry. In the fromer verses 19:4-9 Jesus is speaking of those who are married and those divorced.

[chosenone]

This is the singles forum.  In most respects it should be treated as the Christian Men, and Christian Women forums.  If you are single, please keep posting in Christian Marriage to a minimum, and if you are married, please keep your posting in Christian Singles to a minimum.

Singles need encouragement from other singles, in the same way that married folks need encouragement from other marrieds.

Thats very true, but all of us who are married, have been single at some point, and do have an understanding of what it can be like. Also we can see the advantages and disadvantages of marriage and singleness. Having adult Christian kids who are still single also helps to understand where you are all coming from.  

Chosenone, how about you listen to a moderator for a change?

You have a history of both arguing with moderators and posting in forums you should not.  Just once could you maybe follow the rules and listen to a mod without arguing?

Ok Bond, if married people arent allowed to post here then I will stop.I didnt realise that it wasnt allowed. I never actually did post on another section that I am not allowed to, I only read it (didnt realise that I wasn't supposed to read it at that time), but thats OK.