What do you think? Help

[Godtakethelead]

Seven years ago (I was young but I knew exactly what would be a match for me) I prayed  for a man JUST like the man that I have recently met. I was shaking when I met him because my best friend told me so. There he was my prayer n human form and I was so amazed.  He was my waiter so when I sat down to eat I silently prayed to God "if this is meant to be let me have him". I would never forget those exact words because before I knew it we were courting!!  Things were so wonderful, we got along great! He turned out to be everything I wanted and more. The more I got to know him the more he matched up even his flaws (I could handle the flaws).  However, when I met him he was beginning his transition to being saved (while I was at a point in my life where I was on a continuum of backsliding- cursing). My cursing caused him to stop talking to me because he assumed that I wouldn't accept him being one way when we first met- then saved. (Sadly, If he would have talked to me about it instead of shunning me he would have known that I loved that he was giving his life to God).

I failed to show him that I love God as much as he does- and I feel as though he has been taken away from me because of this. I tracked him down and talked to him and he asked me if I prayed about us because he has. He was at a point in his life that he needed to know if I was the woman for him- the one that would be his wife. Yet he said God never gave him an answer about me (so he didn't want to disregard us) but he claims he heard God tell him that the woman he is with now is his wife. He confused me because he turned right around and told me he wish that I prayed and hoped that God gave me an answer and that maybe the situation he is in now with her was just to prepare him.  He said knew he could fall in love with me. I did pray to God, I prayed for him to guide me and help me fix the situation. I also asked him how this would work out because the situation was so confusing- I felt like I found the one- messed up  and yet when I finally track him down he's in a bad situation with someone else (They're ALREADY arguing and her insecurities and jealousy has caused him to close something so petty as his Facebook account). The conversation has ended with him distancing himself from me (which I can understand... he has a girlfriend!) and said he would only talk to me as much as boundaries would permit.

This situation that I am currently going through has caused me to become very confused, frustrated, and depressed  (I find myself smiling one minute then being extremely sad the next  ). I really care for him and the thought of never being with him again and living the rest of my life without him is hurting me deeply. I don't want to accept it- I don't want him to be with her. I feel that he's the one and that their relationship is a waste of time. However, he claim he heard God tell him that that woman would be his wife. For that reason only- I am backing away. I can't stop thinking about it and it is making me restless. I've been praying for strength and guidance and I've been leaning on God because there's nothing I can say or do to change anything.  Can someone give me a new perspective on this? Has someone gone through this? Please pray for me Thanks!

[islanddogs]

I can help give you one perspective.

One of the problems is that God gives us a mind to resolve these things. Yes we should pray for people, however choosing a wife/husband, is not like this.

I would suggest that there may be a lack of maturity, this has nothing to do with age, my last attack of immaturity came just short of my 52nd Birthday and after 16 years as a Christian, so Im not judging either of you.

We are attracted by looks,, this is part of our humanity. It is only when we work alongside people that we make correct judgements, in this case I mean Church work.

From a good situation you now have three people who may get hurt. I would wait, your backsliding like mine, needs to be healed(corrected). Therefore it seems to me that you need to be centred on God. There are many people out there, funny how God moves barriers more often when he is the first in our lives.

I have every confidence in God, not to give us what we want, but what is best.

God Bless you and I will Pray.

[comfy]

You have seen how someone can be perfectly so he fits together with you, but you need to get with God so you are the way He wants you to be with Him. Here is a guy who you found to be so perfect with you, but he's with another woman. This could happen in marriage, if it happened now! Getting the perfect soulmate is not secure, but we need to become how God wants, first of all, and be soulmate with God, Himself, first! What if he grows and then discovers you are getting away from each other? This can happen; you won't stay the same.

I had my list of all I wanted in my wife, things for loving people and ministering; and I found someone who was a match for it all, and we got along . . . for a while . . . until she started making moves for things she wanted. And it got immoral, and I could tell I was losing how I could be with God, and I was losing how I had been sharing with Christians who were good for me. It was too much about her.

May be it was too much about him, about getting what you want for yourself the way you are, now. And if you really get with God, you will be different, your interests will change, etc. There's no telling what and who you will appreciate, once you become mature.

And there is the technicality, that he was not a believer. A person can charm you and spoil you, and not be of God. Charming and spoiling can be more damaging than physical abuse, because of how it sneakily makes you weak so then you can suffer and argue and get hurt . . . like he has done after being with you, maybe being blinded by it being so much about you, for a while . . . maybe . . . instead of attention being to God.

All that this world's people have learned to do to charm and spoil each other all has nothing to do with real love, I offer. This charming and spoiling may evaporate after a while of marriage, then some cheater comes along and gives him or you what you want and you suppose you have love. But you do not have to compete with what a cheater can do for your spouse, since that one does not know love if that one is betraying a relationship. So, there is nothing that this world can give that you need to compete with, not if you are involved with a man who knows God and has sense of God's love. You need an example man who shows you more of God and real love.