I'm through

[Huscarl]

It happened again. I get close with a girl, she opens up to me, what I've always wanted is just in my grasp, and then she ends it.  I'm just a friend, all I'll ever be, which means i'm just another boring, regular, forgettable loser not worth the effort. 

I've tried so hard to be a good person my whole life, refrained from doing so much, been good to people, treated women as well as I know how.  Tried to do right by god in all my relationships, and what do i have to show for it? NOTHING.  Others who party, fornicate, lie, cheat, steal, don't care about God...they have all I've ever wanted, a woman who loves them.  Don't know if i'll lie, cheat and steal, but I think I'm through caring about God for now.  Maybe then I'll finally get what I want.  Even if I don't I'm no worse off than I am now, and I won't need to feel guilty about anything I do since if he doesn't exist than morality is meaningless, I can finally do what I want and not care.

So yeah, if he's real and you feel like it, feel free to pray that I find my way.  But I'm through with praying, no one's listening.  Just saying this so hopefully someone will see it and it might help them not to waste their time

[JohnDB]

Now you know one thing has nothing to do with the other.

If a five year old was to tell his parents that they ain't his parents any longer if they don't buy him an ice cream cone....does it make it so?

God only gives good gifts. And maybe He is keeping these women out of your life for a reason that you know nothing about or from a future that you can't see. Just have faith. God is always good...God cannot be bad because God is infinitely busy being good. 

[fassopony]

Huscarl, how old are you?  Just asking because I am looking for a reference.  I'm 39, never married and really, totally cool with being single all my life here if that's the way it is.  I see too many people in some seriously jacked up relationships and thank God I am not involved in any of that.

Not having a girlfriend/fiancee/whatever is not the end of the world, but not having God is.  Hope that made sense :)

[DCR]

I just got married a little over a month ago at the age of 35.

I don't know how old Huscarl is either, but it's so easy to feel in despair in your 20s when you don't have someone, and when it doesn't look like you'll have anyone for the foreseeable future.  I remember that feeling.

But, now that I finally found the right one for me... I wouldn't change a thing.  I'm not even going to try to give anyone false hopes that "the right one is out there for you... you just have to wait on God's timing."  It may or may not be God's will for you to be married. 

What I realize now is that when I was lonely and wanted someone when I was in my early 20s, I simply wasn't mature enough at the time.

But, one thing we all have to learn is to be content and patient wherever we are in life.  Most people can't be told that though (and even resent being told that), but they have to learn it for themselves.

[comfy]

So, if someone could let go of you, that easily, I'd say you did not first get in a very  good friendship as the foundation of your relationship. You might have started somewhere else.

Just acting a certain way is not being good. Acting can get you with someone who judges by what is on the surface.

A woman who is Christian will love you and be good for you, even if she does not get romantic with you. So, a really worthwhile lady would be one you would enjoy and appreciate even if she is not God's will for you to marry her. I'd say check out someone whom you admire so that you are ready to welcome her to make sure with God, and respect and encourage her to go with what she finds God has for her. If you don't trust a lady to be able to check with God, why be interested in someone you do not even trust I have seen how a "number" of folks can be so "serious" about each other and even "intimate" and yet they do not even trust each other 

So, you two breaking up and not now loving each other shows me maybe you have not started loving, yet. Love won't stop, just because you've decided not to marry or be romantic, I will offer: "Love never fails," we have in 1 Corinthians 13:8.

I have been able to get very interested in a lady, just because of her smarts and looks and charm and delectability; but that was not loving her.

But I am very satisfied in loving her, even if she does not talk to me (c: "And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 12:15)

We need to find out how to love, so we aren't getting wagged any way a woman wants to wag us like we're her tail. I do not know about you, of course, but I know this surely goes for *me* ! A real woman won't be wagging you and playing you, with you being like a beggar for handouts of attention. Love has us equal and mutual with understanding and satisfaction. And learning how to love is the only challenge that can keep us alive, spiritually and emotionally. And God is our only Resource for this which is "impossible with men" (in Luke 18:27) (c: but "possible with God."

But if we want what worldly people can have with a woman, no wonder the really Christian ladies are not interested in us ! ! !

So, I don't need to quit because a fancy one does not want me, but go after all that is so better.