Is my boyfriend cheating?

[blondie26]

Some background Info: My boyfriend has been married before, his wife left without a word and he never got closure. After she left, while he was greiving, he stumb upon porn on tv and quickly felt addicted to it. He's really trying to stop but gets caught up in it every once in a while. He also thinks he might be addicted to sex (if that is possible...)

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 yr 8 mo. We started out our relationship on the wrong foot and started having sex. We are both pretty strong christians and wanted to live for God, and wanted God's best in our life but couldn't stop living in sin. In June we decided to stop having sex, we had tried before but it always ended because...we started arguing more, tensions were high, and neither of us were really committed to stopping. I was determined to be a better person, so I put my foot down and said "no sex" again. We had been "sober from sex" for 5 days and that weekend I was going out of town, and left Friday at 5:00. My by called me while I was away and said he was going to bed early, I believed him and didnt think about it again. On Monday when I got back in town I found a text conversation with a girl he'd been with before. He initiated the converstaion on Friday night at 5:15, right after I left him. They talked about getting together and hooking up, he preceeded to buy condoms and go to her house. He told me that when he got to her house he told her that he had a girlfriend that he loved and left without doing anything. He said he had been praying all night long, throughout the text conversation, that he would resist and that God would give him a way out because he really didnt want to do anything. He also said he was proud of himself for saying "no". I believe him, but am still VERY hurt. He told me he was sorry, learned his lesson and wouldnt do it again, that he wasn't thinking straight because of our lack of sex and  was just being stupid. We stayed together and started having sex once again, and things were fine. I recently found a message that he had sent to another girl he had met at an open mic night while I was out of town again 2 months later. She found him on facebook and messaged him. He messaged her back and told her she was hott, and that he hoped they could meet up again. The day I left to go out of town he initated another message asking what she was doing that weekend, and the conversation stopped there. He told me that he didnt ever see her again and didnt think twice about her. He says that he is really sorry and really just wants to be with me and only me, but he's been so hurt in the past (by other relationships) that it is just hard when he has to spend the weekend alone.

My problem is this...While I was out of town 2 times in a row, he initiated conversations to other girls wanting to hang out, after telling me not to worry, that he isnt interested in anyone else, and loves me.

I am planning on taking a "break" in the relationship to clear my head and pray that God will show me what the right thing to do is. I also want my boyfriend decide if he wants to be with me and only me, or if he does want other girls. I am very much in love with him, and he says he loves me too and wants to marry me. We are both graudating from college in May and are planning to get married or move to another town together. Am I overreacting? or am I doing the right thing?

I know the right thing to do is stop having sex, and I really want to live a life pleasing to God. My boyfriend also wants to have a close relationship with God  again and really wants to get over his addictions (if he is addicted to porn) and lustful thoughts. But my question is...Do I stay with him...give him another chance? Forgive him like the Jesus would forgive. or move on to someone who will treat me better.
I appreciate any advice you can give!

[fassopony]

Well, you might want to decide if you love Jesus or this guy more first :)  Whenever you sin to have pleasure with the guy you are publicly announcing that you love the guy more than God and feel he is more important than God.  But, it's your life.

Here's the deal about this guy you care so much about (and take this from a gal who is an ex player, before Christ, of course.  I know the drill.)---

Guys who value you and care about you do not have sexual conversations with other females.  Ever.  They never get to the buying condoms phase because they shut it down when the whole thing started.

This may sound harsh but it is what it is.  The guy already knows you will sleep around with him so....why wouldn't he call you and want to hang out?  You are "fun" material not "serious girlfriend or marriage" material.  Please, do not take this the wrong way.  I just know this to be true, works both ways.

Talk to Jesus about it, He will tell ya :)  Chin up!

[chosenone]

Well, you might want to decide if you love Jesus or this guy more first :)  Whenever you sin to have pleasure with the guy you are publicly announcing that you love the guy more than God and feel he is more important than God.  But, it's your life.

Here's the deal about this guy you care so much about (and take this from a gal who is an ex player, before Christ, of course.  I know the drill.)---

Guys who value you and care about you do not have sexual conversations with other females.  Ever.  They never get to the buying condoms phase because they shut it down when the whole thing started.

This may sound harsh but it is what it is.  The guy already knows you will sleep around with him so....why wouldn't he call you and want to hang out?  You are "fun" material not "serious girlfriend or marriage" material.  Please, do not take this the wrong way.  I just know this to be true, works both ways.

Talk to Jesus about it, He will tell ya :)  Chin up!

  Totally agree. This guy clearly isnt husband material. After you stopped having sex for 5 days he was trying to get another girl into bed?? Stop having sex, have a long break from him, and wait on God. In fact I would say break it up altogether. This relationship isnt godly at all.

If you did marry,there will be times where you cant have sex, through child birth, illness or whatever and is he going to go after other women all the time? Wait for a godly guy who will treat you with respect. Porn is anothetr thing that is very hard to stop, and going into marriage with a man who is into porn isnt a good idea either.

I think that he needs to see some godly Christian guys on a regular basis, who can mentor him and who he can be accountable to.