This is how I feel about God at the moment

[Firewing]

Imagine yourself as an employer, and you hired someone to do a specific job, and to be paid at an agreed upon salary.  He does *other* jobs, which is fine and appreciated, but not the specific one you asked him to do.  Not only does he *fail* to do the job for 3 months (the usual probationary period), but for 10 YEARS.   You'd probably fire the guy, right?  Problem is, he's unionized, and trying to fire him causes more work and hassle then it's worth.

That's how I feel about God right now.  For *10* YEARS, I have been praying that God leads me to my future wife (as I've seen my high school colleges go through 'roller coaster' dating: up, down, up, down...which I wanted to eliminate to reduce as much as possible).  This is, praying every single night, for 10 years (going onto year 11), that he leads me.  So far? nothing.  Sure, he got me through my battle with cancer a few years back, and sure, he arranged certain things to happen during my treatments, but for 10 years praying, and no real relationship with a girl?  That shows that he doesn't care about that area in my life. He gave me a huge heart to love, he gave me a heart to be loyal and to not cheat/sleep around, but why give that kind of heart to someone, and THEN not let them use it properly?.   It's like giving a single person a 10 room house.  90% of the rooms are not used and it feels empty.

[chestertonrules]

Imagine yourself as an employer, and you hired someone to do a specific job, and to be paid at an agreed upon salary.  He does *other* jobs, which is fine and appreciated, but not the specific one you asked him to do.  Not only does he *fail* to do the job for 3 months (the usual probationary period), but for 10 YEARS.   You'd probably fire the guy, right?  Problem is, he's unionized, and trying to fire him causes more work and hassle then it's worth.

That's how I feel about God right now.  For *10* YEARS, I have been praying that God leads me to my future wife (as I've seen my high school colleges go through 'roller coaster' dating: up, down, up, down...which I wanted to eliminate to reduce as much as possible).  This is, praying every single night, for 10 years (going onto year 11), that he leads me.  So far? nothing.  Sure, he got me through my battle with cancer a few years back, and sure, he arranged certain things to happen during my treatments, but for 10 years praying, and no real relationship with a girl?  That shows that he doesn't care about that area in my life. He gave me a huge heart to love, he gave me a heart to be loyal and to not cheat/sleep around, but why give that kind of heart to someone, and THEN not let them use it properly?.   It's like giving a single person a 10 room house.  90% of the rooms are not used and it feels empty.

Perhaps you are called to the priesthood.

Your task is to discern God's will then strive to follow it!  Good luck.

[fassopony]

You really want to boss God around?  Dang!  And I thought I had a big head LOL!!

Just a little word here, from a female :)  That attitude that shows through that post would make me run, not walk far, far away from you. 

[Catholica]

I feel for you, that must be really difficult, beyond what many can understand.

I don't really like your analogy though.  God does not work for you, you work for God!  So perhaps you might try a different tack in your prayer.  Instead of praying for a spouse, pray by telling God that, "I know that I want to have a spouse, but I don't know that that is what you want for me, God.  So I accept what you want for me, whatever that is.  I only ask that you give me the strength to do whatever it is that you ask, and the grace to put my own desires aside if you should require me to.  I trust you, God.  Help me to do your will, please make your will known to me."

The angels cried "peace to men of good will" at the birth of Jesus.  The only good will there is is God's will.  So if you resign yourself to God's will, then you will have peace.  That is not to say that sacrificing our own will doesn't require us to suffer; Jesus sacrificed his own will to do God's will perfectly and suffered greatly.  But at least in that suffering you can have the joy to know that you are trying to do God's will, and that will give you peace and perhaps help you focus on the good plans that God has for you in this life.

God Bless,

Andre

[Seva]

Imagine yourself as an employer, and you hired someone to do a specific job, and to be paid at an agreed upon salary.  He does *other* jobs, which is fine and appreciated, but not the specific one you asked him to do.  Not only does he *fail* to do the job for 3 months (the usual probationary period), but for 10 YEARS.   You'd probably fire the guy, right?  Problem is, he's unionized, and trying to fire him causes more work and hassle then it's worth.

That's how I feel about God right now.  For *10* YEARS, I have been praying that God leads me to my future wife (as I've seen my high school colleges go through 'roller coaster' dating: up, down, up, down...which I wanted to eliminate to reduce as much as possible).  This is, praying every single night, for 10 years (going onto year 11), that he leads me.  So far? nothing.  Sure, he got me through my battle with cancer a few years back, and sure, he arranged certain things to happen during my treatments, but for 10 years praying, and no real relationship with a girl?  That shows that he doesn't care about that area in my life. He gave me a huge heart to love, he gave me a heart to be loyal and to not cheat/sleep around, but why give that kind of heart to someone, and THEN not let them use it properly?.   It's like giving a single person a 10 room house.  90% of the rooms are not used and it feels empty.

I feel your pain my brother.

I'm not sure anyone has an answer for you, let alone for themselves.

God gives direct methods to some people some of the time.

God does not give direct methods or direct prayers all of the time to anyone. Even Elijah had a confusing time hearing from God at one point.

As far as i can tell, God will not be placed in a box and when you do try to make Him get into the box, He most of the time refuses. All the while He gives us our necessities. He's a great father.

He takes His Own sweet time, if He decides to answer us at all in this lifetime.

He maybe waiting for you to make the best choice you can and then go for it. It's like couples who are planning for the right time to have babies. If you wait for the right time there never is a good time.

I too am trying to figure out my love life.

blessings

[Firewing]

Perhaps you are called to the priesthood.

Your task is to discern God's will then strive to follow it!  Good luck.

Now I know that I'm not called for priesthood (for the record, I don't think it's biblical to not allow church leaders to be married, this is a man-made rule). I have hard enough time speaking to a class in a speech, let alone to a few hundred people. 

[Firewing]

I feel for you, that must be really difficult, beyond what many can understand.

I don't really like your analogy though.  God does not work for you, you work for God!  So perhaps you might try a different tack in your prayer.  Instead of praying for a spouse, pray by telling God that, "I know that I want to have a spouse, but I don't know that that is what you want for me, God.  So I accept what you want for me, whatever that is.  I only ask that you give me the strength to do whatever it is that you ask, and the grace to put my own desires aside if you should require me to.  I trust you, God.  Help me to do your will, please make your will known to me."

The angels cried "peace to men of good will" at the birth of Jesus.  The only good will there is is God's will.  So if you resign yourself to God's will, then you will have peace.  That is not to say that sacrificing our own will doesn't require us to suffer; Jesus sacrificed his own will to do God's will perfectly and suffered greatly.  But at least in that suffering you can have the joy to know that you are trying to do God's will, and that will give you peace and perhaps help you focus on the good plans that God has for you in this life.

God Bless,

Andre

This is honestly the best analogy I could come up with.  You ask (pray) to God for help, and you pay (tithe) a certain amount of your earnings. It's not a perfect analogy, it's the best I came up with.

[chestertonrules]

Perhaps you are called to the priesthood.

Your task is to discern God's will then strive to follow it!  Good luck.

Now I know that I'm not called for priesthood (for the record, I don't think it's biblical to not allow church leaders to be married, this is a man-made rule). I have hard enough time speaking to a class in a speech, let alone to a few hundred people.  

FYI, there are married Catholic priests, although it is the exception.  

Both Jesus and Paul said it is better for Church leaders not to be married:


Matt 19:12
For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

1 Cor 7
32 But I would have you to be free from cares. He that is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 but he that is married is careful for the things of the world, how he may please his wife......38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.



My main point was that you should seek God's will, not attempt to force his hand.

[Catholica]

I feel for you, that must be really difficult, beyond what many can understand.

I don't really like your analogy though.  God does not work for you, you work for God!  So perhaps you might try a different tack in your prayer.  Instead of praying for a spouse, pray by telling God that, "I know that I want to have a spouse, but I don't know that that is what you want for me, God.  So I accept what you want for me, whatever that is.  I only ask that you give me the strength to do whatever it is that you ask, and the grace to put my own desires aside if you should require me to.  I trust you, God.  Help me to do your will, please make your will known to me."

The angels cried "peace to men of good will" at the birth of Jesus.  The only good will there is is God's will.  So if you resign yourself to God's will, then you will have peace.  That is not to say that sacrificing our own will doesn't require us to suffer; Jesus sacrificed his own will to do God's will perfectly and suffered greatly.  But at least in that suffering you can have the joy to know that you are trying to do God's will, and that will give you peace and perhaps help you focus on the good plans that God has for you in this life.

God Bless,

Andre

This is honestly the best analogy I could come up with.  You ask (pray) to God for help, and you pay (tithe) a certain amount of your earnings. It's not a perfect analogy, it's the best I came up with.

I hope you took away more than an analogy critique.  :)

Just the way you describe it makes it sound like you treat God like a prayer vending machine.  Pay your tithe, pray some prayers, and whammo!  I hope that that isn't the case.  If it is, then wherever you got that idea from, they were wrong!

[Catholica]

In fact, I'd be willing to bet that God is not saying "yes" to your prayers possibly because you have been treating Him as a prayer vending machine, so that you won't continue to treat Him that way.  Maybe to help you understand, to finally bring you to the point where you have to reach out to other Christians and have them tell you, "God isn't a prayer vending machine" and then for you to take that fact to heart.

[Nyoka]

Ten years is nothing.  I prayed for 24 years for a godly husband before God brought me a husband.  God would not bring me a husband while I was praying for a husband.  He brought me a husband when I got my eyes and thoughts off myself and what I wanted and onto Him and what He wanted.  When I stopped focusing on a husband and focused on God.  He then taught me that His ways are: God then others then ourselves a way distant last.  God showed me that by focusing on wanting a spouse I put that spouse first and not God.  Also by focusing on wanting a spouse I was focusing on what I wanted so instead of doing things God's way I was doing them my way and going: me, the spouse, God.  God has brought you through your battle with cancer - get praising Him and worshipping Him over it and thanking Him for it.  God gave you breath to keep you alive so thank Him for that.  Get God focused and become the man God wants you to be then you can be the husband  God wants you to be and your future wife needs you to be.  This is what John  was talking about when he said: Joh 3:30  He must increase, but I must decrease.  God must increase in you and through you and you must decrease as you mature in Him and become more like Him.

[CrazyChristian]

Ten years is nothing.  I prayed for 24 years for a godly husband before God brought me a husband.  God would not bring me a husband while I was praying for a husband.  He brought me a husband when I got my eyes and thoughts off myself and what I wanted and onto Him and what He wanted.  When I stopped focusing on a husband and focused on God.  He then taught me that His ways are: God then others then ourselves a way distant last.  God showed me that by focusing on wanting a spouse I put that spouse first and not God.  Also by focusing on wanting a spouse I was focusing on what I wanted so instead of doing things God's way I was doing them my way and going: me, the spouse, God.  God has brought you through your battle with cancer - get praising Him and worshipping Him over it and thanking Him for it.  God gave you breath to keep you alive so thank Him for that.  Get God focused and become the man God wants you to be then you can be the husband  God wants you to be and your future wife needs you to be.  This is what John  was talking about when he said: Joh 3:30  He must increase, but I must decrease.  God must increase in you and through you and you must decrease as you mature in Him and become more like Him.

That is so weird! For 10 or more years(I lost count) I did the same. And finally I looked back on my life and realized. I promised myself to him. Who am I to reserve my heart for someone else? How can I say I love Jesus when I give my heart away to someone else. Why should I chance it with sinners who may break it when Jesus will guard it as only he can? That's when I realized the relationship I should be perusing is with God, not with a man. There is not a man can give me over God. God is first, always!

You come before the Lord seeking signs and wonders, but not for their purpose only for entertainment. Don't you know that all that he does in us is to further edify us and proclaim his Glory? As the pastor said this morning, The miracles aren't about what they do, its about the message they bring. If you are looking for his word, dust off your Bible. You have a weak armor about you if you truly believe in this way. I recommend you ask for prayer with your pastor. If you don't have a pastor, find one please. For your own sake. Seeing is not believing. Remember how many witnessed Jesus ascend into heaven with their own two eyes? The number that saw this miracle accepted him as the Son of God our Christ and Lord was few. But if you believe, you will see. God reveals himself to his people. He reveals the secrets of his word to them. Perhaps praying for God's will to rule in your life over your is the prayer you should ask. If you do not have the faith to let him take the reigns, the start praying for it so that you may find your way to him. There is no joy a spouse or any person  can give that is anything in comparison to the presence of God. This is confirmed through out his word. When your cup runneth over, there is no greater joy.

Please brother do not think that I'm poking you in the eye, but know that this was the conviction given to me.

[Husbandseekinghelp]

Firewing,

I know something of your pain...though in a different way.

Can I ask you a question?  You mention "praying" and God's "leading" but what, specifically, have you been DOING?  Specifically, in the past month or two, what have you actively done to find a Christian mate?  How many women have you asked out?  What groups are you connecting with?

I ask this because it is easy to give up...and we stop DOING things.  God can work miracles, but He usually works and answers prayers when we are acting and working. 

Blessings!

[chosenone]

Firewing,

I know something of your pain...though in a different way.

Can I ask you a question?  You mention "praying" and God's "leading" but what, specifically, have you been DOING?  Specifically, in the past month or two, what have you actively done to find a Christian mate?  How many women have you asked out?  What groups are you connecting with?

I ask this because it is easy to give up...and we stop DOING things.  God can work miracles, but He usually works and answers prayers when we are acting and working. 

Blessings!

   I have to agree with this totally.
I dont know how old you are firewing, but two young people in my family have met people on Christian internet friendship sites. One was 30 when he met a lovely Christian girl who he will marry this year, and the other is 30 also and has recently met a lovely guy on the same site who we all think may be 'the one'. I met my husband on one as well. If none of us had bothered, we would probably still be alone now.
God doesnt usually plop a person on our lap, He does expect us to make some effort ourselves. SO get involved in things, go to singles groups, help out at Christian events etc. Maybe even join a Christian internet friendship site.   
I have a friend whose two sons are desperate for a girlfriend. Also my step sons, one in his mid 20's and one in his late 20's dont have girlfriends, and all four of them dont do anything to meet anyone. None of them even go to church despite being Christians.So how do they expect to meet that nice Christian girl?

I cant go along with that thing of when you stop praying God will give it to you.I prayed for a husband and God bought a lovely godly man into my life 6 years ago. I never stopped praying till I met him.

[moldable]

Father and provider we humbly come before Your loving You, thanking You and acknowledging Your Holiness,

Just for thought, lets say God is the Top deployment agency and has to approve everything and everyone before going to perform the task at hand.The policy is 100% guarantee on all deliveries and performance when properly applied.

So lets agree you are found righteous, worthy and available to receive that which you prayed for...lets now consider the product....

She's all that you asked for and 100 times more...but all her Wife abilities aren't fully developed and so on......so i don't think that God is not doing His job...i think He is doing exactly that...

He's making sure that Proverbs 18:22 Word is True.....so wait in anticipation for your good gift that comes from the Father...Matthew 7:11

[comfy]

It is God's choice.

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

In case God wants me to get married, I understand that it is good to pray and trust God to make me pleasing to Him, in His love's "incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (in 1 Peter 3:4) This way, I can be His good example to a lady whom He wants to trust me with in marriage. I need to be her example, and by being in God's "incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit", this can make me so I attract a lady who is truly beautiful in God's Holy Spirit.

How you really are has a lot to do with who you can connect with.

And, "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." (James 1:27) So, if you have a big heart for God, He has widows for you to visit and love, in nursing homes, and waiting for you to phone pal with them so you can share prayer and the word, maybe give them the computer weather report and help a blind widow to do some e-mailing on a Christian website where she is not identified and you are checking what information gets out to strangers.

I like turkeys because they are smart enough to stay alive while living on the ground. And they live as family, while an eagle may soar high but it is often alone.

We do need others to help lift us up.

In my case, it is quality not quantity > I may have a moment of being with a Christian who is especially good for me; but then I can think of and remember the person and benefit from the person's love and good example. The time together with each other may not be long, but the effect can last.

In our church, we have one lady who in minutes of talking with me can get me into the Holy Spirit's love, and then I am ready to love everyone, with no after-effects about her. But another woman is so beautifully wonderfully loving and attractive, but all I have, later, can be thinking about her . . . not really getting better in loving any and all people while appreciating the LORD most of all. So, with one is quality, the other with quantity plus some confusion of thinking and wondering what she wants, etc. > "God is not the author of confusion," we have in 1 Corinthians 14:33. So, it is good to invest in the right kind of love.

[Godzlight3]

Thank you for being really open and sharing your struggles and so much more. I was reading the responses to your post and some were a little harsh, ouch. I am in a similar position at the moment, and though it is great to hear from others that you should stay active and prayer more or in a different way....It is ok to admit that it hurts (which is something that God has been teaching me lately). Though it might not seem like it God does care about every aspect of your life (even the area of relationships) even when it seems like he is silent. He has called us to cast all of our cares, burdens, worries, and other feelings upon Him not just because He cares for you, but simply because He cares. I wish that I had the perfect answer for you. I am still learning that regardless to what I do for God that I will always be indebted to Him. Yet in the midst of it all I have learned that He is very kind even in my singleness struggles. I will be praying for your strength and that God reminds you that he sees all that you do, that He understands that you are angry (I am in that spot also at the moment), and that he blesses you as long as He calls you to wait for His best.

Blessings,

Godzlight 3