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[dothackzero]

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[trick]

First, this is coming from a guy who got his first girlfriend when he was 25. First, you don't need a girlfriend. Second, I doubt you're ready for a girlfriend quite yet. But there are things you can change.

First, focus on your friendships with other (Christian) guys. Make sure these friendships are good. You will need them for advice/support about girls. They will help boost your confidence too. (Getting girls to like you is about 70% confidence and 30% dumb luck).

Second, this might sound weird with you, but learn to flirt well. The goal of flirting is to get to know a girl and figure out if she likes you without getting either of you deeply emotionally involved. Trying to get 'in' with a girl via friendship can be a really nasty maneuver (relevant comic). There are different kinds of flirting, and some are better than others. My girlfriend's favourite is 'physical' flirting and teasing because it does the least to confuse her emotions about someone. This starts with playful insults, and then moves to more physical teasing (dropping snow down the back of her shirt, dumping an ice cream pale of watermelon rinds on her head, etc). Don't flirt with girls you aren't physically attracted to.

Also, recognize that there are billions of girls on this planet. Probably at least 100 million near your age. If you met one new girl every 10 seconds, you'd be busy for the rest of your life. So, don't worry about running out of girls.

Now that I've explained the theory, here's how to work it in practice. Make acquaintances with girls, ask them what their life goals are and such and make sure they are available for dating. Then, flirt with them. If they don't reciprocate, stop and move on to another girl. Flirting is to figure out if they like you. If they don't like you, they won't flirt back. In this case the flirting was successful, the answer was just No.

Eventually, you're going to find some girl who reciprocates. Make sure you like her, and if you do, escalate the flirting. Start acting like a gentleman from time to time. Make sure you feel comfortable with her. Then when you're alone with her, have your Define The Relationship talk. If she says she likes you too, then bingo. If she says no, then stop flirting with her and move on to other girls. If she says "I'm not sure, give me time" then you can continue flirting with her, but don't let her consume your attention; start looking elsewhere. It might just be be that she doesn't like you, but is emotionally needy and she just wants to leech off of you.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

Fake it til you make it.

[CrazyChristian]

Okay, so it's a new semester in college. I'm actually in classes with a lot of cute girls. The problem is that I still having a problem making friends with those girl, or even talking to them. Obviously because of that I have no or almost no faith that I'll be able to get a girlfriend if I can't even talk to them.

Basically I'm asking for things I can do to change this.
Also is there anything in the Bible that could help me with this(making friends)
Maybe some good preachers doing a sermon on this. Something that help increase my faith in this area.

I believe the scriptures say that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Why should you seek friends when you are surrounded by family?   

I've felt this way myself for a long time. Here I am approaching 27 in a couple of months. I've prayed that God send someone to me for so long, I forget when I started. I felt that he would reveal him to me. I fell into the world by seeking this relationship with another instead of with God. Sure I had the boyfriends, but I was sinning against my body and the temple it was suppose to be for God. I have the peace to not really care at this point. Our relationship that we seek must be God. The Lord called me back to church this week after 9 years away. I was terrified because I didn't know anyone. I knew what church I was going to (the one I left 9 years ago). I wanted to go to my aunt's church so I would know someone, but the conviction of his spirit came right into me. How can you have the courage to go out into the world and call others to me, when you haven't even the courage to go into the midst of my own people, your brothers and your sisters? 

And so today I went, and the first person I met welcomed me with open arms. Truly I felt like I was with my family. I think what he wants of me is to stop lusting for others, when I should hunger for him. Everything else will come as according to his will. But I'll never be empty if he is first in my life. I hope this helps you. Please let me know if there is anything you need. A prayer, a friend, a sister, shoulder to cry on?

[Apothecary 4 Christ]

Okay, so it's a new semester in college. I'm actually in classes with a lot of cute girls. The problem is that I still having a problem making friends with those girl, or even talking to them.

Actually, your first problem is to find out if they are Christians.  If not, you really have no business going any further.  And it doesn't matter if this is a Christian college. 

Of course, God has nothing against cute girls.  He made them.

So if they are Christians, or you at least have solid reasons for believing they are, then you have any number of God-glorifying choices on how to interact with them. 

1) Be friendly and give her an honest compliment.  NOT sexually oriented.  You know what I mean.

2) Try to find something she is interested in...and get interested in it!  Then ask her about it.

3) Begin to pray for her, even if you know nothing about her.  Pray for God's blessings on her.  Do not simply ask God to GIVE her to you.  In spite of how wonderful you may be.  :)

4) Find some other social setting in which to interact with her.  A club, a sporting event, a cafeteria.  Allow her to see you there interacting with others, friends, etc.  A Christian group on campus would be great.  Get involved.  Invite her!

5) When you do talk to her...just ask her questions about HERSELF and HER interests.  She will probably take care of the rest.  Lets face it, generally speaking, the ladies are better talkers than us.  And that is fine with me.  Be genuinely interested in HER interests...and go from there.

Bottom line my friend is that if it is meant to be, the Lord has a way of making it happen in SPITE of our goof ups. 

Take it from the chief goof.

Blessings,
Jason

[moldable]

All Glory and Honor to the Most High God, Father God increase our faith as we seek the

very intimate details of our lives to be fulfilled, Holy Spirit guide us in the path of love and boldness. This is only my opinion of courting...Proverbs 18:22.....Whoso findeth....Trust

God....He said Seek ye first......be added unto you Matthew 6:33....So if you build confidence and trust in God and having first developed a relationship with Him, i believe

God will show her to you...remember Jacob prayed to show him Rachel? Genesis 29

Bless God

[comfy]

It can be for your own good, that God is not giving you confidence to get involved with a cute girl who isn't a Christian.

I remember being scared of even a woman I was dating. It once took me a while to get the whatever . . . stupidity . . . to tell her I wanted to marry her. I won't say what I later found out she was involved in. But I went to her mother's for a Christmas get-together. There was a guy with a strange smell. I decided not to eat a sandwich they offered to prepare for me. Then I opened a bottle of beer, myself. She came over, looking me in the eye, smiling and talking, but I didn't let her control my attention; I noticed her pinched-together fingers, down below, slip over the mouth of the beer and open. I pretended I needed to go to the bathroom; there I dumped and rinsed the bottle, then filled it with water, went back out and drank for a while, then said it was time to drive home. She tailed me to my car, and shook hands with me, slipping her other hand's fingertips to my pulse; then she seemed to look bamboozled. I said something like, things don't go the way we think they will. And I left

Being cute tells you nothing about who you are dealing with.

It can be for your own good that God is not giving you confidence to get involved with someone who is cute and you don't even know her. And before you decide someone is a Christian or not, you might spend some time with her while you both are sharing with a variety of people who you know are Christians, including ones who are seniors in the faith who have succeeded for decades in doing well in their marriages. And share together with ones who are able to see through you both and who are your examples to help you both to find out how to love all people and not just romantic favorites who you hope to use for what you want.

[HRoberson]

Okay, so it's a new semester in college. I'm actually in classes with a lot of cute girls. The problem is that I still having a problem making friends with those girl, or even talking to them. Obviously because of that I have no or almost no faith that I'll be able to get a girlfriend if I can't even talk to them.

Basically I'm asking for things I can do to change this.
Also is there anything in the Bible that could help me with this(making friends)
Maybe some good preachers doing a sermon on this. Something that help increase my faith in this area.

Girlfriends aren't all they're cracked up to be.
You "get" a GF by being a guy they would want to hang out with. If you want interpersonal coaching, go to the schools (mental health) counseling department.

[dothackzero]

Yeah, I still have pretty much no faith for a wife...

[wolflet7]

I've noticed that you seem to have a confidence problem.  Confidence is one of the most admirable traits in most, if not all, women's eyes.  Confidence shows courage, leadership, and that you love yourself, in a good way of course, not a cocky way.  What type of woman wants a guy who has no faith in himself? 

The day after you read this, I want you to walk into class, around campus, or around the school's cafeteria and simply say "Hi" or "Hey" to at least one female student.  That's your goal.  Then the next day, I want you to expand it a little bit.  For example, if you slept through some notes, ask a female student around you if you could jot down some of her notes.  My bet is that she would be more than willing. 

Make little goals for yourself every day to have even a tiny bit of interaction with one or more of your female classmates. 

[Cally]

I've noticed that you seem to have a confidence problem.  Confidence is one of the most admirable traits in most, if not all, women's eyes.  Confidence shows courage, leadership, and that you love yourself, in a good way of course, not a cocky way.  What type of woman wants a guy who has no faith in himself?  

The day after you read this, I want you to walk into class, around campus, or around the school's cafeteria and simply say "Hi" or "Hey" to at least one female student.  That's your goal.  Then the next day, I want you to expand it a little bit.  For example, if you slept through some notes, ask a female student around you if you could jot down some of her notes.  My bet is that she would be more than willing.  

Make little goals for yourself every day to have even a tiny bit of interaction with one or more of your female classmates.  

Very well-said, wolflet.

When we make mistakes, we fix it and leave it behind. Other than that, confidence makes you in-style no matter what!