had sex ...feel VERY guilty and troubled

[saintsfan80]

me and my ex still talk and see each other....trying to figure things out between us ..... i dont really know what to do...but anyways....i ended up having sex with her tonite.....and now i just feel upset and guilty.....like i totally dishonored GOd and my body .... not to mention set myself up for some emotional problems etc....and confusion in the relationship.....i do not want to upset GOd...i do not want to fall for fleshly desires like i so willingly did ....this has happened 2 or 3 times this year....each time i get upset like this..but this time since ive really been trying to focus on the Lord and havedone some reading on lust,etc..and sin...it really hit me...i dont know what to do ..i dont want that to happen again..now i just feel awful and wicked

[Catholica]

I have no idea how God looks at Protestant marriages, but assuming that neither of you are remarried, it probably was not a sin because it is probable that God still sees you as married.

However...

If you are really going to be honest to the situation, if God really does see you as still married, which I believe that he does, then you really owe it to yourself to make a choice, and that is to actually really be married (get re-married) or separate yourself from her.  The marital act is reserved for marriage so you each need to be honest with yourselves and start considering that God's intent for the act is to be only within the confines of marriage and for two purposes alone, which neither must be ignored or rendered impossible: procreation (pregnancy) and marital intimacy.  If either of these is not desired, then you should not be having marital relations with anyone, and it is likely to offend God if you do.

So you need to repent with a sincere heart to God and amend your life.  You need to take drastic measures.  First you should apologize to your ex-.  And then you need to explain to her the truth of the situation, which is either you want to get back to her or you don't, and if the answer is that you don't, then you need to cut off contact with her altogether, and you should explain this to her, because you don't feel it is right and that God is telling you that you shouldn't be committing an act that is reserved for people who are married, and that you are weak and that to avoid it happening again, you need to not see her again.

Don't let the difficulty of the situation deter you, but be a man who wants to do God's will, know that God created you to have dignity and not be a slave to fleshy desires, and start having confidence in God's help to make it through this for you to do the right thing, which is to make a choice.  And either way, the marital act needs to be reserved for the person you are married to, and no one else, otherwise it is a lie with your body.

I will pray for you also.

[saintsfan80]

by ex i mean ex girlfriend..we werent married ever

[anx]

Sex and lust is difficult for guys. Its hard to say no, and really the only hope is dating someone who also firmly believes in waiting. When your body is screaming yes, you need a VERY clear direction and plan to say no. Especially if you have already had sex with her, the boundaries to doing it again aren't there like they should be.

Reading your last post, I hope you can figure some of this out. Many christian men struggle with lust, sex, and porn. You absolutely can get past this, but the struggle can be VERY hard.

Be praying hard and looking for another job.

I also think you should either talk to a pastor or counselor to get some advise on the things that are bugging you and you are battling with.

You want to be married and a father, but rushing into a relationship or confusing the one you have with sex that is messing stuff up isn't helping.

Loneliness, boardom, lust is all 100% normal for you situation. My wife is separated from me and I struggle with all 3. I have made a very clear decision what I'm doing. Some days just simply aren't fun at all. When my wife separated from me, I went through depression and struggled hard to not give into lust and porn, which was an issue I had growing up. It was not easy.

I went in with clear drive to do anything I could. I read through the entire bible, and I suggest you do in this time. Start with the new testament. I can truly say that coming out of that I have more joy and peace even in this terrible situation I'm in that I have ever had.

Galatians 5:22-23

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The only way to get there is a spirit filled life. Join groups at your church. Volunteer your time and server at church functions. I built a lot of friends and learned a ton doing that.

Blessings

[saintsfan80]

thanks for the response man....lust is something i certainly struggle with...i am trying to read my bible every day but some days its hard due to job,etc....but i want it to be my number 1 priority..im tired of feeling the way i feel and i want to get where i need to be with God.

[anx]

It took a marriage crisis for me to grow up and get right with God. Making a stupid choices and sin can bring us were we need to be. It can set on heart on fire for the truth. If you haven't recently, read the book of James. Your son is forgivable like any other and made it clear to a new path is needed. Get there. Get on fire for God. Download sermons to listen to. Show up at church.

Blessings